Ā I think Iāve finally figured out how to explain why the thick self-deprecation in the writeblr community, and life in general, bothers me so much.Ā Itās like the frog and the hot water.Ā
Ā For those who donāt know the analogy, itās an old one that states if you drop a frog into boiling water, it will jump right out. But if you put a frog into cold water and heat it slowly, it will stay until it cooks to death. Morbid, I know.
Ā If someone tells you that you suck, people who arenāt overly prone to self-deprecation are usually more able to deflect that, to goĀ ānah, bro, you suck. Iām awesome,ā because thatās the boiling water, a sudden jarring thing that they instantly know they donāt like and isnāt true, so they jump out of it.
Ā But telling yourself that you suck, even jokingly, is turning up the heat up one little bit at a time. SayingĀ ālol, yeah, this book probably is gonna suckā orĀ āyeah, this is the worst plot everā orĀ āIām a crappy writerā or anything else like that is just sitting in the pot, getting you closer and closer to that boiling point, to the moment when some random jerk you will likely never meet in person posts 1 rude comment and you are more likely accept it as truth. And if they were a troll who did it on purpose, youāve already helped show them your sore spots, the things youāre afraid of someone saying.Ā
Ā Some, though, quit writing before that stage feeling they were neverĀ āgood enoughā to keep trying. Was that the truth or were they just being hard on their work? No one can say now.
Ā And yeah, I fell for the self-deprecation trap too, and it took a long time for me to realize a. I wasnāt helping myself or my stories by putting myself down, just making it worse. b. I was killing both the quality and the passion of my stories becauseĀ āwelp, Iām a sucky writer anyways, right? Itās not going to be good soā¦ why bother?ā c. Writing wasnāt fun anymore.
Ā And by the time you hit point c, itās hard to climb back out of the pot. The last time it happened to me, I had to take a several month break from writing to just read and try, try like heck, to scratch up even a fragment of the joy I had before. I found it, and was eventually able to grow it back, but I know several writers who werenāt that luckyā¦.
Ā Itās normal to have doubts, itās normal to be stressed; writing is hard, no matter what anyone says.
Ā But please donāt beat yourself up over it, donāt tell yourself you suck, you more than likely donāt. You may just need a snack, water, fresh air, a break from the piece for a little bit, or to try a new method, or it could be something else entirely. But thereās no shame in that, itās the way the creative process works.
Ā And itās normal for people to like and dislike different things. Just because someone doesnāt like your story, it doesnāt mean it was you or your writing. It could just be that it wasnāt what particularly jammed with them. I like dragons, but I know people who donāt. It doesnāt mean Iām wrong for writing dragons, or theyāre wrong for not liking them. Iām not a bit fan of romance or horror, but people who write them arenāt wrong for doing so, itās a difference in interests. And when/if you receive criticism, remember, it could be as simple as a difference in interests and/or perspective.Ā
Ā So please, stop putting down your art, people. Iām sure if itās something you love, something your passionate about, then itās beautiful to at least one other person in the world.
snowghoul
areudirty
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