Call me Zack - She/they 26 Lesbian, metalhead, amateur botanist, artist. I like star wars and video games. My nature/plant blog @coyote-mints. WoW blog @night-elf-aesthetics
“people who make six figures shouldn’t be allowed to complain —“ most people who make six figures are, these days, solidly middle class. where i live, a combined household income of $110k is *lower middle class*.
“people who can afford homes —“ are typically 400-600k in debt for them. also if “can own your own home” is your threshold for the rich you are contemplating eating, i think you are genuinely stupid
“boohoo your investments dropped, stop complaining rich boy” idk how to tell you this but. most of us have a retirement account. you should probably open one
One thing I really like about Beverly Engel's book It Wasn't Your Fault, which is about PTSD-induced toxic shame, is that quite a bit of it deals with people who haven't broken The Cycle of Abuse (TM) and have gone on to hurt others. That's a really underserved and vulnerable patient population, and statistically, it's also MASSIVE. I don't think I've read a single other self-help type book on PTSD and self-loathing that confronts the possibility that you're exactly as bad as you think you are.
I felt better that it so much as mentioned that children can react to abuse with ungovernable rage. Everybody likes the image of PTSD patients as internalizing everything and becoming doormats, which does happen, and often, but it's not the only narrative. Personally I've always hated my abusers and have always wanted everyone who so much as breathed wrong in my direction from ages 0 to 18 to burn eternally in hell. I *never* thought any of it was my fault and ever since I was a toddler I was willing to make it everybody else's problem, and it's really relieving to read a clinical perspective that acknowledges that abuse victims can act that way too.
It's wild to me that its such a neglected subset of abuse victims. Its really common. When I still lived with my parents and was still subjected to my father every fucking day I would lash out terribly at my mother, to the point when i went to visit them for years afterwards she was afraid I would lash out again. We've worked it out, I'm a much better person when I'm not regularly subjected to mental and emotional abuse, but like, its just so common.
I think it must be, at least partially, because, people hate the imperfect victim. Its easy for so many people to sympathize with someone who never lashed out. Less so for people to sympathize with people who are angry and lash out. Even though its a perfectly sensible reaction to being hurt over and over. I'm sure most people would like to think they would simply never.
I don't think this is the whole reason, but, I think it plays into it.
Similarly, there’s a narrative of, you cannot experience grief over having fucked up. That if you are hurting because you caused harm, because you were the cause of harm, that you’re not allowed to grieve, because you “earned your sorrow. You deserve to bottle it up and to hurt for the bad things you have done,”
Which is punitive logic. It’s copthink. Which is bad.
In fact, you can actually give yourself trauma over fucking up too badly and doing, witnessing, or failing to prevent something evil that goes against your morals; for instance, if you steal your mother's life savings due to drug addiction, kill a civilian during a military operation (please do not join the military), or became abusive because you didn't have the tools and skills yet to handle BPD. In the field of psychology this is called "moral injury" or "perpetrator trauma."
I think maybe the thing I like most about the human race is that we will invent something completely, utterly, blazingly stupid and then do it because it brings joy. This is so dumb. This is so awesome. This makes me so happy.
Every time I see this creature he looks like if the wind blows on him a bit too strong he'll puff into a million seeds like a dandelion and scatter in the breeze
i didn’t know perez hilton was a stage name that he purposefully modelled after paris hilton’s real name i thought she just organically had an evil gay wario or something
i am trying to make some pants. many people #online are losing their gourd over how easy this pattern is and i'm contrarianfully a little peeved about the assumption of serger ownership, 3/8th topstitching that fails to enclose 1/2" turned over raw edges, general expected minor failure cases of a pattern you buy on etsy
BUT i got it all cut out from leftovers without buying any new fabric so that's my win
Overall review: it makes sense this patternmaker has been operating on Etsy for 2.5 years, this seems like a 2.5 years of operation quality pattern to me. It's very cleanly presented and produces a end result that I'm jazzed about! But it also seems incurious about seam finishes/attention to detail, and I feel that beginner sewists attempting this pattern might not know what they're missing out on.
What I like
Easy breezy fit with no fit mods (except turning the cuffs up 1.5" vs 1") - big fan of gusset and knee dart
Mega comfortable fabric choices using stash only (undyed slightly stretchy twill from Fabrics R Us, Rifle Paper Co Camont - Poppy Fields - Natural Unbleached Canvas off someone on etsy I don't have customer loyalty to)
Pleasant embedded links to Youtube tutorial
Really big fan of the carabiner loop
Cute!!!
What I changed
Hopelessly reliant on crayola washable markers + gluesticks for holding turned-over edges in place. Also got into banging on bulky seams with a hammer. PRO TIP: use oxyclean to guarantee washable markers wash out.
Oh my god the pattern doesn't recommend a denim needle for the many layers of midweight fabric? Denim needle was a huge QOL improvement.
Did not buy topstictching thread. Used regular thread.
To squeeze this out of limited fabric: shortened knee patches ~1", cut pocket facings off grain, bound edge of weird back pocket with selvedge instead of cutting out this shape of piece
Also extended the trapezoid with floral fabric to create a hidden lining for the pocket that layers on top of it (another fabric-saving measure)
Added a patch pocket for my phone on front right, inspired by the Jones Trousers
Skipped hammer loop (despite using a hammer while making this pattern)
Flat felled inside leg seams, butt curve. The instructions simply say "finish" for all seams btw :(. The gusset to inside leg seam join proved impossible to flat fell so I just zigzagged it right to hell.
Added a baste together and try on step while installing gusset before all the flat felling
Bias bound outside leg seams, tacked flat at points along leg. Kind of a Hong Kong seam attempt.
Reinforced outside leg seams at very thick joining points... otherwise pressing open as recommended means you will see daylight through your pants
Used a shorter zipper (the actual length of the fly) (already on hand). This nerfed me on the mandatory-pull-zipper-head-out-of-the-way-so-your-machine-foot-fits step
Hand basted down the waistband before machine sewing. God I hate waistbands.
Made a wretched buttonhole with my zigzag stitch. Could be worse! It's holding the button!
What I would do next time
Check front and back pocket dimensions against each other before sewing to pants; mark with washable marker to ensure topstitching lines up
Trim pocket foldover so it's fully encased in topstitching (it's fraying now in an annoying way)
Extra line of topstitching to completely secure down pocket facing
Either use a longer zipper or a different fly construction method that allows better checking on functionality as I go. I am not jazzed about trimming down a metal zipper (pattern doesn't mention what tools to use for that!) so probably the latter
Shorten legs/add contrast cuffs
Maybe add little darts in the back
Try to figure out a way to do the waistband that I hate less. Sew inside seam first?
Fix weird little gapping at top of zipper/grade in at waist a little?
The knee panel is bait for quilters and I might fall for it
I also don't think this is gender neutral unless you grade the bejesus out of it, as the pattern assumes a 10" waist-hip difference.
Girl this is not a tip. This is just something you have to do for the pattern to work.
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