String Bass Probs

A bunch of random orchestra crap for your enjoyment

[xxxrosinxxx]

merry christmas to those who celebrate it! and happy new year to all! ✨

[didntactuallydelete-deactivated]

what in syncopation

[musicxmakerx3]

Aren’t these just offbeats? Like… syncopation is when you shift the metric accent to a different part of the measure. If these were tied to be the length of a quarter note THAT would be syncopation but as is these are just “chuck” without “boom”.

[itzhakperlwoman]

what in syncopation chuck without boom

[string-bass-is-better]

stupid things the orchestral instruments do when they're performing

violins: they do this dramatic swaying thing and sometimes the performers' faces look like they caught a whiff of something that isn't good or bad but it's iffy as hell

violas: they drop their instrument real low, like almost so that the scroll is hitting their knee, and they almost hop out of their chairs. it's kind of intimidating

cellos: classic cello headbang

basses: that head thing djs at discos do

oboe: my god they're like the violins on steroids. they move all over the place and their expression just becomes more and more pained as their solo goes on. don't even get me STARTED on the eyebrows

clarinet: like the oboe but slightly more chilled out

flute: they lean forward and bob their heads as they AGGRESSIVELY spit into their instruments

bassoon: sometimes they close their eyes and start kind of dancing really passionately with their instrument and it's kind of uncomfortable to watch

the entire brass section: they sit fairly still compared to the other instruments, but they're still guilty of excessive eyebrow raising and lots of disapproving squints as they realize they're playing out of tune and everybody heard it

percussion: they get really excited before they get to play their one note like they'll hop around and start dancing and bobbing their head before their triangle part and it's adorable

piano: headbanging, head bobbing, swaying, pained expression (usually no eyebrow raises, though), and they sometimes drop their heads so that it looks like they're sniffing the keys

[gestopft-deactivated20200103]

[classical-crap]

me, playing piano: I can barely stretch a tenth. I wish more composers would write complex and interesting pieces that people with small hands could learn without having to omit notes

me, composing for piano: if the performer’s hands can’t stretch two octaves, they’ll just have to use their feet to hit those notes. *writes “stop whining” into the score*

[the-flute-jesus]

[masonyin]

There is something that never changes, that why we love violin so much.

[masonyin]

Muisc buffet

[tempo--tantrums-deactivated2017]

when you practise but don’t see any improvement in sight

[justanaverageteenagecellist]

“After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexplicable…is music” ~Aldous Huxley

[pleatedjeans]

via

[thyme-sweetened-honey]

Also one time he was supposed to write a violin and piano duet, and he wrote the violin part, but he didn’t really feel like writing the piano part, or was too lazy etc. When the concert came up (he played the piano while a fiend played the violin) he set up a blank piece of paper (so people would think he was reading music) and improvised. After the concert he wrote it down so it could be published

[vault11overseer]

okay i’ve reblogged this before but can we just give a shoutout to the orchestra that had to sightread the overture to an audience at the premiere of an opera

[classical-crap]

me: *tells my teacher how my audition went*

teacher: good. now we can start working on another piece for your next audition

me: well there go my plans of retaining any sense of sanity

[classicarte]

Portrait de Franz Liszt par Charles Laurent Marechal.

[lavenderichtus-deactivated20180]

okay get this: perfumes with the names of classical pieces

[that-twink-composer]

I can already smell Claire de Lune. And Vivaldi’s Seasons. And all of the Schoenberg scents are a bunch of smells you would never think of putting together but it actually works

[sapphopiano]

4'33" is just water in a perfume bottle

[you-had-me-at-e-flat-major]

[tchaikovskify-deactivated201712]

omg

[classical-crap]

today the vibrato is frequently made to cover a multitude of violin sins

edmund severn calling us all out 100 years ago (via classical-crap)

[classical-crap]

tbh i play in my high school orchestra and don't have my own instrument and summer is almost over so i get to be reunited with my baby bass i'm so excited

it’s like a mother being with her child once again

[classical-crap]

the violin is like a blonde lady in a red dress and pearls. kind of snooty. kind of vain. you know it’s true

one of our violists describing the orchestral instruments (via classical-crap)