welcome bitches🤑

[colourofoctober]

‘I am a metaphor,’ is a metaphor because I’m not really a metaphor but in saying that, I am a metaphor.

[thecommonchick]

OMG 😂

[buzzfeed]

Here Are Some People Who Are Very Confused About What “No Makeup” Looks Like

[socialnetworkhell]

Woman: wearing foundation, powder, blush, bronzer, highlight, false lashes, mascara, nude lipstick, brow powder eyeshadow

Man: she doesn’t have red lipstick on so that means no makeup

[periegesisvoid-deactivated]

like 3 of them are wearing very visible winged eyeliner i’m screaming

[thecommonchick]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[aesfetic-deactivated20150917]

When men say, “I only fuck girls with tight pussies.”

Do you know what a tight pussy is?

An un-aroused pussy.

Your sex game weak.

Bye.

[truthseekingassbitch]

I’m glad this sentiment is gaining traction. Spread this shit like wildfire.

[shadowofafeeling]

my father told me once to never date anyone who talks smoothly around you from the start because if someone likes you they should be a little nervous and honestly i think that’s some of the best advice anyone has ever given me

[shadowofafeeling]

i told my dad about this text post and he got so excited he teared up and then he said he felt like he just adopted forty thousand new children to share his wisdom with and he hopes all of you meet kind, sweet people he would be proud of

[thursday]

[listenuppnow]

[stubb0rness-blog]

Get a Pair of Drake and Future #SummerSixteen Tickets

Get your tickets before they are all gone!

Get your tickets before they are all gone!

[atx-nerd-mom]

I guarantee you, the woman has packed all her stuff, plus her kids’ stuff, plus all the shit her husband forgot to pack. Five minutes into their vacation, dude will be cursing because he forgot something important, and his wife will be like, “Here it is. I thought you’d need it, so I packed it, along with all of your underwear, socks, swimsuit, toothbrush, and deodorant because apparently you confused our family trip to Disney World with an overnight couple’s stay at a nudist colony. You’re welcome.”

Laugh it up, assholes. Without us, you’d be wearing the same underwear three days straight, including poolside.

[andromedafalls]

Fucking right

[cosmicrystalwitch]

Who tf uses a Walmart bag for a 3 day vacation honestly

[bellarke]

Because I’m overcome in this war of hearts.

[bonersniper]

I’m dying.

[angardasiochana]

i guess we know who caught the corpse

[jaoxn]

[thecommonchick]

When you get caught lookin at your crush

[smosh]

[dickzoned-deactivated20200818]