Potato makes me happy

[maxxie-or-smth]

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

[catchymemes]

[xonmybullshitx]

[yourluckyrock]

I yearn for Six of Crows animated adaptation

[redstonedust]

"tumblr humor is only funny to tumblr users" NOT true. those bitches on pinterest love us.

[i-am-a-lazy-mess]

hate when I type :) and this 🙂 fucker appears. Go away you evil soul

[pisshandkerchief]

"I'm sweating like a pig": scientifically innacurate (pigs don't sweat), mean (kind of implies you think pigs are gross :( not cool dawg)

"I'm sweating like a motherfucker: realistic. you probably would sweat if you fucked someone's mother. implies you've got game

[thrilm]

[chirp-featherfowl]

if infinite monkeys on typewriters will eventually write shakespeare then surely 100 million americans with pistols will eventually successfully assassinate the us president

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

It's the last day of April

[accessibleposts]

[br1ghtestlight]

spent MONTHS looking for this stupid tumblr post bcuz i constantly want to reference it and it wouldn't come up no matter what i searched despite it being (what i thought) was a popular well-known tumblr post only to find that the original blog turned off reblogs and deactivated and that it only got 12k notes total. but im posting it anyway to preserve its legacy

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[vileengine]

i actually did draft a bunch of abortion jokes but ultimately decided not to keep them

[byjove]

People who regret not having kids tend to extend themselves to help kids in need around them, the childless lady in the neighborhood who gives out good Halloween candy, your favorite uncle who takes you to do fun stuff. People who regret having kids, on the other hand? Absolute demons to everyone around them. Lol. The common refrain of “You’re going to end up lonely in a nursing home if you don’t have kids.” is extremely wrong if you’re a good person and I would say a large percentage of visit-less elderly people in nursing homes actually had children, they just treated them like shit.

[ravioliet]

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

[byjove]

I never thought I would be siding with the pope’s involvement in politics and cheering him on. I will say that.

[byjove]

[coupdefoudrre]

[ceruleanheaven]

how to become good at everything no practice no effort no motivation no passion no talent fast free