i'm a bastard.

indie. | highly sel. | rp blog for john constantine / hellblazer. dead dove, dark topics, and general fuckery abound. written by FEN. 34. he/it. 21+ only.

[stupidiinspades]

independent && selective JOHN CONSTANTINE rp blog of vertigo's 'HELLBLAZER' with as much influence from nbc's 'constantine' & the dc multiverse as i can remember to piss in here. vaguely canon divergent. multiverse & multiship.

CARRD. | VERSES. | IN CHARACTER. | WISHLIST. | HEADCANONS. ABOUT. | MEMES. | REFLECTION. | ISMS. | AESTHETICS.

strangled daily by FEN. | 34+ | he/it | 21+ only MAINS: saturnmused. | crownedinsin. | nightmarecountry. / formshaper.

blogroll: dream. | desire. | urban fantasy / sci-fi multi.

TL;DR for the poor mobile users out there!-

Please don't confuse ooc and ic.

i will quite possibly write shit on this blog that could make some folx uncomfortable. manipulation/gaslighting (w/permission), abuse and resultant trauma, eldritch horror/hunger, detailed murder fantasies, yearning for violence/pain/sex, etc. none of that means that i a] advocate for any of that in the problematic sense or b] am an apologist!

I will always tag anything necessary; should you need something tagged let me know! I don't mind at all~.

if I do something you'd rather I not- tell. me.

I can't fix what I don't know is an issue. I'm autistic, subtle insinuations can fly right by me. Yet I'm also Borderline and have had to train myself not to recognise every paranoid 'is that about me?'

I will not try and read your mind. I will not walk on eggshells. If you act like nothing is bothering you, or tell me everything is fine if I try to address it: then that is how I will function and thus your natural consequences are yours.

Don't be a dick ooc.

in character? fuckin' go for it (but be prepared!). for example- you taunt my muse in whatever form they are in, be prepared to receive appropriate retaliation (if appropriate). outta character dickery isn't as fun. it makes me use the block button, which makes me sad! ;o;

Try not to godmod XD.

I will stick to this myself at all times (unless i get your blanket permission)! even if John has an arcane ability list a mile long and can theoretically seal and bind gods (Kali)- I will always ask before I write such.

I ship based on chemistry. However-

-don't be afraid to just yell at me: hey what if my barbie smooched your barbie? that's the phenomenal thing about rp- we can quite literally do whatever the fuck we like~. for me, canon is a vague guideline.

HAVE FUN!

this is an activity that we all come here to do to relax. elitism is a bore. perfection unattainable. as long as you are having fun, then you are doing this rp thing right.

More detailed guidelines are within (eventually)!

[aceofwhump]

Legends of Tomorrow 6x13

[feral-ballad]

Claire C. Holland, from I Am Not Your Final Girl: Poems; “Jess”

[Text ID: “I can’t exist in a way that comforts you.”]

[leneemusing]

JEALOUS, FIERCLY PROTECTIVE & TERRITORIAL PROMPTS

feel free to edit pronouns as needed! content warning for some strong language,  threats and implied violence.

to each other:

❝  you’re mine. only mine.  ❞

❝  i’m all yours.  ❞

❝  mine.  ❞

❝  yours.  ❞

❝  we belong to each other.   ❞

❝  you belong to me.  ❞

❝  i belong to you.  only ever you.  ❞

❝  i just didn’t like the way they were looking at you.  like you weren’t mine.  ❞

❝  you know i’m yours,  right?  i only have eyes for you.  ❞

❝  no one else is ever gonna have a chance with me.  you’re it.  you’re all i want.  ❞

❝  i chose you.  and i need you to trust that my decision is final.  trust me.  ❞

❝  wait are you jealous?  ❞

❝  aw,  baby.  it’s cute when you’re jealous.  ❞

❝  i don’t like the way they keep staring at you.   ❞

❝  i don’t like how they keep staring at me.   ❞

❝  are they making you uncomfortable?  i can do something about it.  ❞

❝  no one should even get to look at you unless you want them to.  ❞

❝  stop—  it’s okay.  they’re not worth your anger.  just kiss me.  ❞

❝  stop saying i’m jealous.  i’m not—  i just.  i don’t like having to share. ❞

❝  i’m not jealous,  who said i’m jealous?  ❞

❝  well if i’m all yours then kiss me like it.  ❞

❝  show everyone who i belong to.  ❞

❝  i’m gonna remind them you’re mine.  ❞

❝  i want everyone here to see that you’re mine.  ❞

❝  i want everyone here to see that i’m yours.  ❞

❝  hey—  look at me.  why are you all upset?  ❞

❝  you can’t keep getting your feathers all ruffled when anyone else gives me attention.  ❞

❝  they don’t deserve you—  i don’t deserve you.  but at least i’m aware of it.  ❞

❝  i promise there’s no one else.  you have my heart completely.  ❞

❝  hey,  is this asshole bothering you?  ❞

❝  tell me you’re mine.  ❞

to a third party:

❝  get the fuck away from them!  ❞

❝  look at them like that again and you’ll won’t be seeing anything.  ❞

❝  don’t you dare touch them.  ❞

❝  yeah it’s time to walk the fuck away.  ❞

❝  you’re gonna lose a finger if you don’t get outta my sight right now.  ❞

❝  you heard them,  get lost.  ❞

❝  lucky for you,  i don’t wanna ruin their night.  but i see you sniffing around here again you might not be so fortunate.  ❞

❝  you wanna lose a limb?  beat it,  fucker.  ❞

❝  see,  i woulda left it alone.  but you made them fucking cry.  so now you’re gonna lose your eyes.  ❞

❝  hey,  they said ‘no.’  ❞

❝  hey asshole,  shut the fuck up or i’ll make you shut up.  ❞

❝  what did you just say to them,  you little shit?  ❞

❝  oh yeah.  now you’re all quiet.  not so bold when you’re not the toughest guy in the room,  huh?  ❞

❝  get lost.  ❞

❝  go.  ❞

❝  leave.  before my patience runs out.  ❞

❝  get the fuck outta their face.  ❞

❝  hey,  that’s enough.  ❞

actions:

[ CLAIM ]  for one muse to possessively place their hands on their shoulders or hips. 

[ HOLD ]  for one muse to slide their arm around the other in a possessive way. 

[ SHELTER ]  for one muse to lean into the other’s side or hug them to seek comfort from a crowd or individual while in public. 

[ STAKE ]  for one muse to protectively and/or possessively stand behind the other to intimidate a third party. 

[ RESCUE ]  for one muse to intervene upon seeing a third party making the other one uncomfortable. 

[ CHASE ]  for one muse to interrupt and make a third party leave the other alone out of jealousy/possessiveness. 

[ TENSION ]  for one muse to get in a fight on behalf of the other. 

[ STOP ]  for one muse to break up a fight which started because of them. 

[ MEND ]  for one muse to treat the other’s wounds they got from protecting them. 

[ SCOLD ]  for one muse to treat the other’s wounds they got from fighting over them. 

[ CARESS ]  for one muse to possessively kiss the other in public.

[ TAKE ]  for one muse to passionately kiss the other,  fueled by jealousy. 

[ TAUNT ]  for one muse to flirt with a third party to try and get the other to act possessively. 

[ REMIND ]  for our muses to have passionate sex meant to remind one party who they belong to. 

[ EMBRACE ]  for one muse to dominate the other due to possessiveness/jealousy. 

[ LINKED ]  for one muse to hold the other’s hand in public to stake claim. 

[ INTERTWINE ]  for one muse to hold the other’s hand in public in a comforting manner. 

[dctvgifsdaily]

Constantine “Non Est Asylum”

[zygon-commander]

john constantine moodboard

[literallyaflame]

i’m a gold star bisexual. i’ve fucked everybody

[chaosophia218]

Alchemical Engravings.

[princessofnecro-deactivated2025]

psychological torture is always sexual

[dcfilmblr]

Keanu Reeves in CONSTANTINE (2005), dir. Francis Lawrence Matt Ryan in CONSTANTINE (2014-2015), dev. by Daniel Cerone, David S. Goyer  Jenna Coleman in THE SANDMAN (2022—), dev. by Neil Gaiman, David S. Goyer, Allan Heinberg

[crowndinglory]

also he's totally going to try and steal michael's spear- because fuck that guy but also genuinely maybe the angel needs a good laugh--

There's some high, holy grumbling being done, accompanied by a loud crack of "CONSTANTINE"

Michael appears in front of him, glowering. "Do you have to work at being an infernal pain, or does it come naturally to you?"

[stupidiinspades]

There'd been a split second where he was pretty sure lightning was about to follow, and his fine Liverpudlian arse was about to fry six ways from Sunday.

"S'a bit a'both, really. Don' worry though- I put in a lil bit of extra effort, just for you~."

[stupidiinspades]

❝ May others be as passionate in their hunting of you. ❞ it is sneering at him, prowling restlessly back and forth.

"AS YOU ARE~? Nah, mate- y'make a bloke feel special."

Nightmares weren't new- this one, in fact, was familiar.

He has to wonder, actually, if the thing even remembered him- billions of little pink meat creatures to torment surely gummed up whatever hourglass that functioned as memory storage. So many blending together- so many same-old same-old reactions trickling down and out like so many grains of sand.

It took John an ironically short amount of time to come out on the other side of accepting his sexuality after meeting it- not that he'd known it wasn't human at the time. He'd been a shite human being with shit taste in magic and even shittier application.

Now, he may still be a shite human being, but he's learned quite a few new tricks. How to play as unfair as the other side- and how to make unreality stay in one place. This whole thing, in fact, started because Constantine needed a guinea pig- to see if his personal enchantments could bind dreams.

For no reason at all. Pay no attention, Lord Shaper.

"Actually, should prolly fuckin' thank you properly, aye? Y'helped me out way back when- an' yer helpin' me out again~. A real good samaritan you are, dove. Tell y'what- this ain't for you. You leave me be, an' I'll make yer life a bit more entertaining, yeah?"

[stupidiinspades]

❝ How many commandments can we break in one day? ❞

"ALL OF 'EM, if'n we opt to fuck about on the Sabbath."

There's a smoother note to the magician's tone, nowadays. Some might say he'd been corrupted by his magic, or the Devil Himself. John'd say he'd been FREED.

Accepted for every disgusting little thought- every dark impulse and every indulged fantasy. Lucifer had given him the comfort the fucking ALMIGHTY has been with-holding since the day of his cursed birth.

Enough, that he'd reabsorbed the demonic facets of himself he'd given life to years ago. No more Demon Constantine-- he's home now~.

"Please tell me y'got a party in mind~. Sittin' an' twiddlin' my knob can only provide so much entertainment~."

[vaememes]

✧   VAN    HELSING    SENTENCE    STARTERS   !

(  FEEL  FREE   TO   CHANGE   PRONOUNS   AS   NEEDED  !

❝ Vampires, gargoyles, warlocks, they’re all the same — best when cooked well. ❞

❝ My life, my job is to vanquish evil. I can… I can sense evil. ❞

❝ I’ll find you. I’ll get you back, I’ll set you free! ❞

❝ Why can’t I have one of those? ❞

❝ A pity your moment of triumph is being spoilt over a little thing like grave robbery. ❞

❝ Why can’t they just leave us alone? ❞

❝ We never kill more than our fill. And less than our share. ❞

❝ I feel no love… nor fear… nor joy… nor sorrow! I am… hollow. ❞

❝ I’m at war with the world and every living soul in it! ❞

❝ I must find out who our new visitor is. ❞

❝ Is this your silver stake? ❞

❝ Don’t you understand?! We could be friends! Partners! ❞

❝ Did I mention that it was you who murdered me? ❞

❝ I hope you have a heart, _______, someday I’m going to drive a stake through it. ❞

❝ He’s the first one to kill a vampire in over a hundred years. ❞

❝ Some say you are a murderer, others say you are a holy man, which is it? ❞

❝ I think if you’re going to kill somebody, kill them. ❞

❝ A vampire is nothing like a warlock. My granny could kill a warlock. ❞

❝ The air around here is thick with envy… ❞

❝ When they ask you to bring somebody back, they don’t mean as a corpse! ❞

❝ Actually, I’m still just a friar, so I can curse all I want… dammit! ❞

❝ Why does it smell like wet dog in here? ❞

❝ I don’t know if you’ve looked in the mirror lately, but you kind of stick out in a crowd. ❞

❝ How many commandments can we break in one day? ❞

❝ Never too late to dig graves. You never know when you need a fresh one. ❞

❝ Vampires only kill what they need to survive - one or two people a month. ❞

❝ By exposing me, you have condemned me! ❞

❝ Without us, the world would be in darkness. ❞

❝ An evil that the rest of mankind has no idea even exists. ❞

❝ If you value your lives and the lives of your kind, you will kill me! ❞

❝ Now you will become that which you have hunted so passionately. ❞

❝ May others be as passionate in their hunting of you. ❞

❝ I can feel fresh blood rushing through her veins! ❞

❝ You can go when I say you can go. And I say you can go when you’re dead! ❞

❝ It is your blood that shall keep me beautiful! What do you think of that? ❞

❝ Don’t play coy with me, Princess. I know what lurks in your lusting heart… ❞

❝ You’re a big one. You’ll be hard to digest. ❞

❝ I’ll take him away, far away, where no one will ever find him! ❞

❝ Why don’t you and the order do something about it? ❞

❝ To you, these monsters are just evil beings to be vanquished. ❞

❝ I’m the one standing there when they die and become the men they once were! ❞

❝ So you’re sending me into Hell. ❞

❝ For more than four centuries, this family has defended our left flank. ❞

❝ Not to worry, got just the thing to put the bit back in your teeth. ❞

❝ You’ve never gone after vampires before, have you? ❞

❝ Seven years and you don’t know what it does? ❞

❝ Because if we kill him, anything bitten or created by him will also die. ❞

❝ Oh! You’ll be needing silver bullets, then. ❞

[07242024-deactivated20240725]

lets all take out our intestines and braid them together like friendship bracelets

[caspianhypno]

One persons body horror is another persons body horny.

[stupidiinspades]

reading a new blog's rules and the about the mun, seeing 'from Texas', and having to tell myself to 'calm the fuck down England can fit in us 5 times over it doesn't mean much'.

my brain however: ...but local fwends?