John: Elis and I are going to the cricket tomorrow. Who do you think we'll be sat next to? Who's your dream lunch guest at the cricket? Because we will be in the celeb zone.
Elis: Greg James?
John: Greg, too handsome. You don't want to be having a celeb lunch with a [redacted; likely 'boner'/'hard-on'].
*nervous laughter from the EJ crew*
John: My dream would be... to my left is Jimmy Anderson being shy and loveable and stubbly, and really hot, but not as hot as Greg James so I don't get an erection.
Elis: okay.
John: Actually, scrap that. He's too handsome, Jimmy Anderson.
For the Americans not in the know, Jimmy Anderson is a now-retired England fast bowler, one of the England bowling greats of the 21st century in fact, and John has long been a big fan of Jimmy's. In fact, having access to the 5 Live cricket coverage team (i.e. Ellie Oldroyd) was one of John's delights in moving from a music station like Radio X to a sports and news station like BBC 5 Live.
I can't remember which episode it was (and frankly I can't be bothered to find it this late at night so just trust me on this one), but turns out Jimmy is also a big fan of John's and is familiar with his work/a listener to the 5 Live show (I can't recall), so fear not, it is very mutual.
But if you'd like to see a clip of 1) who Jimmy Anderson is/what he even looks like in the flesh and 2) John having a total fanboy moment, here's a time they spoke to Jimmy ahead of an Australia Test match on 5 Live back in 2022.
Anyway, to end on a completely unrelated thought, I sometimes wonder if the world would be a very different place if more people knew that bisexuality is a spectrum and a sliding scale.
*clip and transcript abridged for brevity, as you can probably guess
Jimmy Anderson, 2003, Manchester Evening News.
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