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@succulentsandmoosh
People do not make Rocky as clingy as he should be
Bonus Human Rocky
After I was scolded for working (drawing trees) when I was supposed to be relaxing, I painted a Shen Qingqiu (yes my friends did point out that there is a tree still, but as I told them it’s the wrong type of pine to be in my book and therefore doesn’t count.)
Had this in my head for a while
@habken made art on some old man Grace and I made a dumb little comment saying that Eridian scientists would need to find a way to replicate that old person candy. Then I was graced with this comment by @uhmimpostingart :
And it has been bouncing around in my head… now we all get to suffer ‘cause I share my brain rot doodles
✨ACCEPTING AGE WITH GRACE ✨
What if the batkids call Bruce "Dad" only in their civvies, but then call Batman "Mom"
.
It started with Dick pondering about the whole "secret identity" thing as a young Robin. The news are partially about Brucie Wayne, young dad extraordinaire setting an example for all reformed rakes turned fathers.
Then half of it is about speculations on Batman's true form — because while they all could've sworn that Batman was, well, a man... most investigators are hesitant to consider him human now because suddenly there's a toddling colorful child creature bobbing along after the living legend, with the same moves and capabilities as the Bat
Dick gets the brilliant idea to make Bruce into it
"Think about it!" Dick said on that first patrol, "People won't think too harsh on Batman if they figured that I'm just your little cub who is also made to fight crime, instead of a human kid out on the streets at night."
Bruce narrowed his eyes, but there's no harshness in his gaze. He's looking at this little boy, with messy curls of black and the sweetest shade of blue in his eyes. A reflection of him. How cruel it is of this boy to play with his feelings.
"You want people to think that the Batman is a creature that can give birth?" Bruce repeated carefully.
"More than that! I want them to think you're my mother!"
"...same thing."
"Bleh!"
.
It works as Dick proposed. Lesser ties made to Bruce Wayne, a cisgender man who can definitely not give birth, to Batman, a creature that allegedly birthed Robin. Bruce thinks it's the stupidest solution to a common problem, and he made Brucie.
But it works so they let the story run wild. Bruce doesn't mind so much as the weird, hungry, curious gazes that some villains and thugs give him.
Dick seemed to find it hilarious when ladies stopped Batman in the streets to tell him to rest because "you just gave birth!!"... only until said people also tell him to "respect your mother!"
Overall, it was just another one of those weird things a vigilante resorts to for the sake of operational efficiency...
...
Until one time, Robin had gotten captured in a ship rigged to blow, and villains left and right were hitting him everywhere.
Batman had priorities on the other side of the docks. Robin just had to distract everyone else, and this was a distraction technically. But everything hurt and some of the older men were looking at him funny and he can't move and he wants to go home.
"MAMA!" Robin shrieked into the night.
And descended from the shadows was the Batman, in all his apparently motherly glory — towering above 6 feet, maybe more, because animals grow their appearance when preparing to pounce. A culmination of darkness and rage. Armed to the teeth with weapons and artful precision.
His white eyes turn to a bloodied, shaking young Robin, then to the rest of the fools who dared breathe his boy's air. The sound of rage he made was not human.
Every move is calculated and efficient; not with the aim to kill, but to make an example of the bastards who dared hurt his little bird.
.
This story will be passed along the underworld of Gotham for years to come as more and more of the Bat's brood grew
And this secret will be inherited from Robin to Robin, Batgirl to Batgirl
Bruce is a father — providing, stern, careful
But Batman? They each came from his symbol, his cloth, his rearing. And Batman is a much more violent creature when it comes to protecting those who have his mark.
If that's not a mother, then what other deadly creature can the Bat of Gotham possibly be?
Bruce: Dami you will grow look at Jason he was the smallest boy ever and now he’s taller than me. Just wait for your growth spurt.
Jason: …
Tim:…
Damian:…
Dick:…
Stephanie:…
Cas: Bruce we are mostly adopted so I don’t think Jason’s growth spurt will happen to Damian
Bruce: Then why do you all look like me. Dick has my eyes, Jason has my face, Tim is a carbon copy just tiny, Duke has my height , Stephanie has my hair type, Cas has my nose, and Damian has my mothers eyes which are also Jason’s eyes and Dami also has my mouth
Dick: oh you’ve lost it
thinking about a tim drake who knows bruce's new son is the second robin and also only a few years older than him, so he gets really excited at galas and events because it means he can actually hang out with and talk to robin himself, and a jason todd who does not fucking want to speak to anybody and will avoid social interaction at any cost; something tim Will Not Pick Up On, is very dear to me and i need to inject it into everything i do ever.
tim follows jason around during galas like a duckling, babbling his head off and not taking any hints no matter how strong they are, and jason is so fucking tired of this kid that he starts fucking with him the same way dick fucks with him. jason's walking around trying to find a corner to hide in for the rest of the night and tim is at his side refusing to shut the fuck up about architecture or whatever the fuck he's gotten obsessed with that week, so jason just trips him and shoves him into the back of some business guy who's talking in a group, and when the guy turns jason looks at tim and says 'woah, dude, i told you already, just because you like older guys doesn't mean you can smack the ass of every one you pass! i'm so sorry sir, i tried to control him," and then he turns in the opposite direction and speed-walks away while tim is left behind with this group of men staring down at him in judgement and it is literally the most betrayed tim has ever felt in his fucking life.
took me a second to find this post and i don't usually put these on tumblr but i remembered i never elaborated on this and it did specifically end up becoming a heavily elaborated on thing in one of my little practice ficlet thingies so this is. this is jason talking about tim at the league while damian films him.
Across a busy banquet table, Jason is dressed ornately in red and gold, with embroidered golden patterns embedded into the garnet fabric of his outfit. He has rubies dangling from both his ears, and there's a wide grin on his slightly-flushed face. Around him, a table piled with food is clearly circled by multiple people, not all of which are recognisable from other videos. Guards stand to attention at the edges of the room and Jason himself is surrounded on both sides by elderly men also attempting to enjoy their meals, though they side-eye Jason with wary yet distinctly confused looks as the younger teen yaps at them.
"We used to-" Jason snorts, gesturing with his hand at the wrinkled man sitting to his left, who primly raises an eyebrow as he lifts a glass goblet of wine to his lips, watching stiffly as Jason proceeds to get more and more amused by his story before he can even tell it. "We used-" He wheezes, continuing loudly above the other dinner conversation going on around him. "I used to get so bored at those events, man. Like- like I was twelve. I didn't wanna be at some bullshit gala, talkin'a posh people all night. You know?"
Either not noticing or completely ignoring the clear lack of encouragement from the elder man's body language, Jason elbows him lightly for an agreement, grinning and leaning in. The man gives him a thin and visibly uncomfortable half-smile, offering a begrudging head nod which Jason takes and runs with.
"Right!? So I had to keep myself entertained, and there was this kid; this kid-" He wheezes again, leaning forward with the effort and slapping his hand on the table next to his plate. It clangs, silverware rattling, and the man to his right glances over in alarm. The camera shakes slightly, like the person holding it is also struggling to keep their amusement at bay. Jason wipes at his eyes, face reddening from the effort as he gasps, "This kid, he was one of our neighbours I think," He goes on despite the high-pitch of his voice, and his face has to be aching from how wide his smile is. "He was a decent kid; couple years younger than me, but he used to really get on my nerves."
It's barely audible, but the camera manages to zoom in and capture the gritted-teeth through which the man to Jason's left grumbles, "Wonder what that's like," Before moving back over to capture Jason nodding his head jerkily, still snickering.
"He was sweet, but he just never left me alone; and I guess he couldn't really understand social cues that well? Because I was in such a bad mood this night and he just would not fuckin' leave." Again, the man glares at him while stoically cutting into something on his plate. Jason's giggles start up again, reaching for his own glass and lifting it to his face as he speaks. "So- so he's yapping in my ear and I'm desperately trying to figure out a way to either leave or make this little shit leave," He frowns minutely when he realises the glass is empty, deep red staining the bottom from where it has previously been full. He cranes his neck and looks somewhere off-camera, beckoning with his other hand and jerking his head at the glass. "-And this kid is being so fucking annoying, so I-" He wheezes again. The camera zooms out ever so slightly as an assassin comes into frame holding a jug, which upon positioning himself at Jason's back he starts pouring more wine from into Jason's glass. "I thought it would be funny," Jason keeps telling the man next to him, "If-"
A slight commotion draws both Jason and the assassin's attention left, down to the end of the table, where the camera follows to reveal Ra's sitting in all his glory, also eating a meal while seemingly in discussion with multiple other people sitting close by. The camera focuses past the rest of the inhabitants of the table, Talia amongst them only two seats down from the camera-holder, to capture the way Ra's has clearly interrupted his talking and pulled away to glare furiously down the table in Jason's direction. His hand is up, positioned to snap his fingers, and he barks at the assassin, "No. No more for him, cut him off before he makes an even bigger fool of himself."
Just before the camera turns away, Talia turns her head and happens to clock the camera directly down the lense, face instantly transforming from calm to irritated. Then, the camera turns back to focus on Jason, the assassin seen quickly nodding and retreated from his side. Jason purses his lips in annoyance, and without any hesitation raises his hand to flip Ra's off proudly. He then turns to the man on his right and, after a moments deliberation, leans over to take his glass, which is still full. The man glares at him but doesn't say anything, getting pulled away as conversation continues, and Jason takes a sip of pilfered alcohol before turning back to his original conversation partner, drunken grin and giggles abruptly reappearing like they'd never left.
"Anyway, we're at this gala," He snorts, as the elderly man stares down at his place in frustrated resignation. "And I wanna make this neighbour kid go away, right? So I turn to him, and I'm-" He giggles. "-And I'm like," He puts on a mockingly disappointed face, "'Oh shit, oh no, fuck,' like I was really upset about something, right? And he's like, 'what's wrong Jason?' and I go-" A slight wheeze, "I tell him that I've dropped a cufflink somewhere and Bruce will be real mad if I don't find it, right?" He takes another glug of wine, leaning backwards and putting the back of his hand against his mouth to laugh, head tilting towards the elderly man and completely ignoring the fact that he receives no encouragement in turn. "So of course this neighbour kid offers to help me find it and starts lookin' around on the floor and stuff. And we're by this table, right? With a bunch of food and shit on it? So the kid gets on his hands and knees to check under the table and to look around better, and there were-"Â
Abruptly he lets out a loud cackle, unable to hold his amusement back, and he just barely avoids choking on his wine while trying to finish the story. Through wheezes, he somehow manages to get out in a rapidly elevating tone, "There were these three women talking nearby, not paying attention to us, and- and the kid was kneeling right next to them-," Eyes wet, he takes a break to wheeze helplessly into a hand, sinking down slightly in his chair. "So I-" He chokes. "I yell out really loudly, 'oh my god, ew, are you seriously trying to look up those women's dresses?' AND-" Jason loses it, barely managing to slam his glass of wine down onto the table before he's outright crying for breath, cackling loudly with no control. He sinks lower in his chair desperately before wobbling, and he has to grab onto the table in front to avoid falling onto the floor. The two men he's sitting in-between watch him with a detached sort of dismay, or perhaps disappointment, clearly not matching his energy.
After a few more moments to try and catch his breath, Jason throws himself back up in his chair, waving a hand around in front of his face and shaking his head as wet eyes turn back to the man to his left, continuing desperately. "I have never- I have never seen a child look more fucking betrayed in my entire life. These women turn to him with complete disgust, and he looks up at me like I'd just killed his pet in front of him. He- dude," The man's brow twitches in subtle irritation. "This kid got yelled at for like twenty minutes, and I was just watching him from the other end of the gala the whole time while he disassociated like a fucking trauma victim," Jason wheezes again. "-That kid- that kid never tried to talk to me at a gala ever again, it was fucking fantastic," He cackles. "Best moment of my life, honestly. He started avoiding me, and every now and then I would just see him staring at me from across the room of these events like I was a fucking weeping angel and he thought if he took his eyes off me then I would show up behind him or something."
"Maybe he was planning revenge." Damian's voice finally appears from behind the camera, calling loudly to be heard across the table. Jason turns to catch his eye, snorting and delving back into giggles as he shakes his head.
"Nah, he never did shit," He calls back. A young female also pipes up from somewhere to the right, the camera swinging to show a few seats down, where Mara Al Ghul is leaning forward from her chair to look past the other dinner attendees, mostly unrecognisable, eyebrows narrowed.
"Is this the neighbour that became Robin after your demise?" She yells over at them, loud to drown out the other conversations around them. The camera stays on her as Jason is heard responding, sounding confused.
"What fucking neighbour that became Robin?"
"My Father told me the new Robin was a boy from the building next to Batman's," Mara continues.
"There isn't a new Robin, what are you talking about?" The camera turns back to Jason, who turns his head to the left and jerks his head at somebody. "Ay, Tals," He whistles to get her attention, and the camera turns again to focus down towards Talia, who glances over from her conversation with an assassin standing at her back. "Mara's saying there's a new Robin, the fuck is she on about?"
Talia pauses slightly, and she carefully calls back, "Just eat your food, I'll talk to you about it later."
"No, what the fuck?! Did the Tim kid take Robin or not?" Jason exclaims. Talia's eyes narrow, and she purses her lips.
"I'm not doing this while you're inebriated." And then her gaze travels over in Damian's direction, and she becomes even more annoyed, glaring at the camera. "Damian!" She hisses, leaning towards him slightly. The man sitting in between them nervously stares at his plate, determinedly not paying them any attention, and Talia continues admonishing her son. "I already told you to turn that thing off! Do you want me to take it from you?"
"Mara bought a Gameboy," Damian whines, camera dipping downwards to the table, like it's being lowered so he can speak clearer.
"I told you to stop filming your brother drunk!" She snaps again, not letting up. Damian is heard groaning, loudly, and the frame starts to jerk as he fiddles with the device. Jason is also audibly yelling, filling the background with his tipsy-complaints leading up right until the footage cuts off.
"Are you shitting me- how do you tell Dusan before you fucking tell me?! AND HOW IS STEALING ROBIN A FAIR RESPONSE TO WHAT I DID? THAT'S SO FUCKED UP WHY THE FUCK DID-"
The screen goes black.
This ties in to that convo on the batcom league days one with tim just taking Jason's picture as he's hobbling around.
Just:
Tim at the gala: one of these days I'll get him back. I'll make him feel the humiliation he made me feel
Tim watching zombie!jason: if I tell bruce, Jason gets robin back.....on the other hand, if I don't thats a later tim problem......welp, paybacks a bitch. Hope that gala moment was worth it, Jason. *takes picture*
Tim trying to not freak out during patrol near red hood: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck payback is a bitch but karma is an even bigger bitch I can't believe I didn't manage to get all copies of that video fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck
thinking about a tim drake who knows bruce's new son is the second robin and also only a few years older than him, so he gets really excited at galas and events because it means he can actually hang out with and talk to robin himself, and a jason todd who does not fucking want to speak to anybody and will avoid social interaction at any cost; something tim Will Not Pick Up On, is very dear to me and i need to inject it into everything i do ever.
tim follows jason around during galas like a duckling, babbling his head off and not taking any hints no matter how strong they are, and jason is so fucking tired of this kid that he starts fucking with him the same way dick fucks with him. jason's walking around trying to find a corner to hide in for the rest of the night and tim is at his side refusing to shut the fuck up about architecture or whatever the fuck he's gotten obsessed with that week, so jason just trips him and shoves him into the back of some business guy who's talking in a group, and when the guy turns jason looks at tim and says 'woah, dude, i told you already, just because you like older guys doesn't mean you can smack the ass of every one you pass! i'm so sorry sir, i tried to control him," and then he turns in the opposite direction and speed-walks away while tim is left behind with this group of men staring down at him in judgement and it is literally the most betrayed tim has ever felt in his fucking life.
took me a second to find this post and i don't usually put these on tumblr but i remembered i never elaborated on this and it did specifically end up becoming a heavily elaborated on thing in one of my little practice ficlet thingies so this is. this is jason talking about tim at the league while damian films him.
Across a busy banquet table, Jason is dressed ornately in red and gold, with embroidered golden patterns embedded into the garnet fabric of his outfit. He has rubies dangling from both his ears, and there's a wide grin on his slightly-flushed face. Around him, a table piled with food is clearly circled by multiple people, not all of which are recognisable from other videos. Guards stand to attention at the edges of the room and Jason himself is surrounded on both sides by elderly men also attempting to enjoy their meals, though they side-eye Jason with wary yet distinctly confused looks as the younger teen yaps at them.
"We used to-" Jason snorts, gesturing with his hand at the wrinkled man sitting to his left, who primly raises an eyebrow as he lifts a glass goblet of wine to his lips, watching stiffly as Jason proceeds to get more and more amused by his story before he can even tell it. "We used-" He wheezes, continuing loudly above the other dinner conversation going on around him. "I used to get so bored at those events, man. Like- like I was twelve. I didn't wanna be at some bullshit gala, talkin'a posh people all night. You know?"
Either not noticing or completely ignoring the clear lack of encouragement from the elder man's body language, Jason elbows him lightly for an agreement, grinning and leaning in. The man gives him a thin and visibly uncomfortable half-smile, offering a begrudging head nod which Jason takes and runs with.
"Right!? So I had to keep myself entertained, and there was this kid; this kid-" He wheezes again, leaning forward with the effort and slapping his hand on the table next to his plate. It clangs, silverware rattling, and the man to his right glances over in alarm. The camera shakes slightly, like the person holding it is also struggling to keep their amusement at bay. Jason wipes at his eyes, face reddening from the effort as he gasps, "This kid, he was one of our neighbours I think," He goes on despite the high-pitch of his voice, and his face has to be aching from how wide his smile is. "He was a decent kid; couple years younger than me, but he used to really get on my nerves."
It's barely audible, but the camera manages to zoom in and capture the gritted-teeth through which the man to Jason's left grumbles, "Wonder what that's like," Before moving back over to capture Jason nodding his head jerkily, still snickering.
"He was sweet, but he just never left me alone; and I guess he couldn't really understand social cues that well? Because I was in such a bad mood this night and he just would not fuckin' leave." Again, the man glares at him while stoically cutting into something on his plate. Jason's giggles start up again, reaching for his own glass and lifting it to his face as he speaks. "So- so he's yapping in my ear and I'm desperately trying to figure out a way to either leave or make this little shit leave," He frowns minutely when he realises the glass is empty, deep red staining the bottom from where it has previously been full. He cranes his neck and looks somewhere off-camera, beckoning with his other hand and jerking his head at the glass. "-And this kid is being so fucking annoying, so I-" He wheezes again. The camera zooms out ever so slightly as an assassin comes into frame holding a jug, which upon positioning himself at Jason's back he starts pouring more wine from into Jason's glass. "I thought it would be funny," Jason keeps telling the man next to him, "If-"
A slight commotion draws both Jason and the assassin's attention left, down to the end of the table, where the camera follows to reveal Ra's sitting in all his glory, also eating a meal while seemingly in discussion with multiple other people sitting close by. The camera focuses past the rest of the inhabitants of the table, Talia amongst them only two seats down from the camera-holder, to capture the way Ra's has clearly interrupted his talking and pulled away to glare furiously down the table in Jason's direction. His hand is up, positioned to snap his fingers, and he barks at the assassin, "No. No more for him, cut him off before he makes an even bigger fool of himself."
Just before the camera turns away, Talia turns her head and happens to clock the camera directly down the lense, face instantly transforming from calm to irritated. Then, the camera turns back to focus on Jason, the assassin seen quickly nodding and retreated from his side. Jason purses his lips in annoyance, and without any hesitation raises his hand to flip Ra's off proudly. He then turns to the man on his right and, after a moments deliberation, leans over to take his glass, which is still full. The man glares at him but doesn't say anything, getting pulled away as conversation continues, and Jason takes a sip of pilfered alcohol before turning back to his original conversation partner, drunken grin and giggles abruptly reappearing like they'd never left.
"Anyway, we're at this gala," He snorts, as the elderly man stares down at his place in frustrated resignation. "And I wanna make this neighbour kid go away, right? So I turn to him, and I'm-" He giggles. "-And I'm like," He puts on a mockingly disappointed face, "'Oh shit, oh no, fuck,' like I was really upset about something, right? And he's like, 'what's wrong Jason?' and I go-" A slight wheeze, "I tell him that I've dropped a cufflink somewhere and Bruce will be real mad if I don't find it, right?" He takes another glug of wine, leaning backwards and putting the back of his hand against his mouth to laugh, head tilting towards the elderly man and completely ignoring the fact that he receives no encouragement in turn. "So of course this neighbour kid offers to help me find it and starts lookin' around on the floor and stuff. And we're by this table, right? With a bunch of food and shit on it? So the kid gets on his hands and knees to check under the table and to look around better, and there were-"Â
Abruptly he lets out a loud cackle, unable to hold his amusement back, and he just barely avoids choking on his wine while trying to finish the story. Through wheezes, he somehow manages to get out in a rapidly elevating tone, "There were these three women talking nearby, not paying attention to us, and- and the kid was kneeling right next to them-," Eyes wet, he takes a break to wheeze helplessly into a hand, sinking down slightly in his chair. "So I-" He chokes. "I yell out really loudly, 'oh my god, ew, are you seriously trying to look up those women's dresses?' AND-" Jason loses it, barely managing to slam his glass of wine down onto the table before he's outright crying for breath, cackling loudly with no control. He sinks lower in his chair desperately before wobbling, and he has to grab onto the table in front to avoid falling onto the floor. The two men he's sitting in-between watch him with a detached sort of dismay, or perhaps disappointment, clearly not matching his energy.
After a few more moments to try and catch his breath, Jason throws himself back up in his chair, waving a hand around in front of his face and shaking his head as wet eyes turn back to the man to his left, continuing desperately. "I have never- I have never seen a child look more fucking betrayed in my entire life. These women turn to him with complete disgust, and he looks up at me like I'd just killed his pet in front of him. He- dude," The man's brow twitches in subtle irritation. "This kid got yelled at for like twenty minutes, and I was just watching him from the other end of the gala the whole time while he disassociated like a fucking trauma victim," Jason wheezes again. "-That kid- that kid never tried to talk to me at a gala ever again, it was fucking fantastic," He cackles. "Best moment of my life, honestly. He started avoiding me, and every now and then I would just see him staring at me from across the room of these events like I was a fucking weeping angel and he thought if he took his eyes off me then I would show up behind him or something."
"Maybe he was planning revenge." Damian's voice finally appears from behind the camera, calling loudly to be heard across the table. Jason turns to catch his eye, snorting and delving back into giggles as he shakes his head.
"Nah, he never did shit," He calls back. A young female also pipes up from somewhere to the right, the camera swinging to show a few seats down, where Mara Al Ghul is leaning forward from her chair to look past the other dinner attendees, mostly unrecognisable, eyebrows narrowed.
"Is this the neighbour that became Robin after your demise?" She yells over at them, loud to drown out the other conversations around them. The camera stays on her as Jason is heard responding, sounding confused.
"What fucking neighbour that became Robin?"
"My Father told me the new Robin was a boy from the building next to Batman's," Mara continues.
"There isn't a new Robin, what are you talking about?" The camera turns back to Jason, who turns his head to the left and jerks his head at somebody. "Ay, Tals," He whistles to get her attention, and the camera turns again to focus down towards Talia, who glances over from her conversation with an assassin standing at her back. "Mara's saying there's a new Robin, the fuck is she on about?"
Talia pauses slightly, and she carefully calls back, "Just eat your food, I'll talk to you about it later."
"No, what the fuck?! Did the Tim kid take Robin or not?" Jason exclaims. Talia's eyes narrow, and she purses her lips.
"I'm not doing this while you're inebriated." And then her gaze travels over in Damian's direction, and she becomes even more annoyed, glaring at the camera. "Damian!" She hisses, leaning towards him slightly. The man sitting in between them nervously stares at his plate, determinedly not paying them any attention, and Talia continues admonishing her son. "I already told you to turn that thing off! Do you want me to take it from you?"
"Mara bought a Gameboy," Damian whines, camera dipping downwards to the table, like it's being lowered so he can speak clearer.
"I told you to stop filming your brother drunk!" She snaps again, not letting up. Damian is heard groaning, loudly, and the frame starts to jerk as he fiddles with the device. Jason is also audibly yelling, filling the background with his tipsy-complaints leading up right until the footage cuts off.
"Are you shitting me- how do you tell Dusan before you fucking tell me?! AND HOW IS STEALING ROBIN A FAIR RESPONSE TO WHAT I DID? THAT'S SO FUCKED UP WHY THE FUCK DID-"
The screen goes black.
side effect of watching james cameron’s avatar and sharing one very smart brain cell.
no touching happened that day bahaHAHA
My other PHM art here
Rocky canonically has a ruler tattoo- Human Rocky would as well. Human rocky has a ruler tattoo like all the guys who use them for fishing send tweet.
first | prev
"Hey, Stratt, I know that we've got a lot riding on this but can we have the secret talks with my hallucination on the down low? Sure, why not, lets have them in my private quarters before we go to bed. This will cause no rumors whatsoever because we're both so professional about it."
Savior Grace, Mate of Savior Rocky and Adrian
(some wedding shenanigans)
the consistent journey that pretty much every Robin/batkid goes on, starting from ‘holy fuck i can be a vigilante!!! i love Batman!! this is magic!! i can do flips off tall buildings and kick people in the face and continue the greatest legacy on this planet!!’ to ‘Bruce i am so fucking tired.’ is genuinely so funny to me. i know Bruce is sick of not being listened to. he tells these goddamn kids over and over again that it’s not fun, it’s a curse, your sleep schedule will be fucked and you’ll never be relaxed again, please don’t get the wrong idea; and every damn time these kids are like :DDD CAPES AND ACROBATICS AND COOL DETECTIVE STUFF!! and then a week later they’re on a stakeout in the rain and it’s 2AM and they’ve been beaten up every night that week and the kid will go ‘B this fucking sucks why the fuck did you let us do this we’re literally just children-‘ and Bruce will go fucking geriatric.
it should have been a thing when Damian brought up the idea of quitting Robin and he pulled Bruce aside like ‘look please don’t get mad i know you won’t be happy about this, but i just don’t think this is what i want for the rest of my life, again please don’t get mad, i am my own person and it’s my life so i need you to respect my wishes here Father.’ that Bruce just stared at him really indignant for a while and then incredulously started yelling like what do you MEAN don’t get mad. i didn’t give you Robin?!?! i specifically DIDN’T give you Robin?! and then you went behind my back to get Dick to give it to you?!?! what??
like it’s the equivalent of having a toddler with you in a restaurant and you tell them Do Not Fucking Try The Wasabi. it is Spicy. and then kid eats a lump of wasabi out of spite and starts crying and now you’re the bad guy because the kid is suffering and somehow it’s your fault. 'you're supposed to take the wasabi away from them, Bruce' YOU TRY TAKING STUFF AWAY FROM THESE KIDS. SEE WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS.
this poor man has been under the thumb of his many children for so long and i just know he’s so tired of it all.
Eridian petting zoo that only has one animal.
It would be good for Grace when he wants more interaction and little pebbles want to meet their only alien. Often leads to sleepy cuddles
https://archiveofourown.org/works/86746481
Stupid joke that isnt funny but made me smile so
something’s missing.
I have been losing it all evening with the Eridian Welcoming Committee comics, so I decided to try my hand at one.
@justcakethanks thank you for the template and for the laughs!