[dionis-gg]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[sucksatflirting]

Yesterday this guy was on the phone telling his friend who he was hanging out with and he said the stupidest thing I've ever heard:

'im with three girls..... And one other girl' 😂😂

[cannot-decide-on-a-fandom]

I just love the fact that “doing a Tom Holland” is now a real, universally understood phrase.

[sucksatflirting]

We once had to attend my grandparents 50th anniversary, which so happened to be the day before my brothers birthday.

Well, around ten seconds before midnight, my uncle stood behind him with a party popper in his hands, all ready to blast confetti on his face while I distracted my brother.

Turns out the party popper was empty. No confetti. Just a very confused brother turning around to see my uncle desperately twisting it for it to blast, while the rest of us awkwardly yelled ‘Happy Birthday’...

[hollandroos]

Did Tom Holland really just leak the name for Spideman 2?

[hollandroos]

Tom: I don’t have any news for you guys but HERES THE TITLE FOR SPIDER-MAN 2 ENJOY

[sucksatflirting]

Oh Tom.... xD

[sucksatflirting]

You know what's worse than waking up at 7?

Being forced to sleep another hour or else you'll have to peel potatoes...

[sucksatflirting]

What if the person isn't even wearing shoelaces? What do I ask then??

I mean, I could probably still say I like their shoelaces. But if they're not on Tumblr wouldn't that be really really weird and embarassing?

[sucksatflirting]

Ahh yes, Robert Downey Jr aka Suzanne Falchuk. This makes a really weird love triangle if you take Gwyneth Paltrow into consideration too 😂

[sucksatflirting]

I'm deleting my old blog queenfirebolt2411 hence the large number of reblogs. I'm BACK!

[queenfirebolt2411]

I’m one of those people who want to live in a massive house, have an awesome job, a loving husband and awesome kids

But i’m also one of those people who put in ZERO EFFORT. 🙄

[queenfirebolt2411]

My mom is really freaky about us not eating properly if she’s not at home. So today she was out for the day and she left lunch for us. She was supposed to be back by 7. So obviously, my sister and I remember the lunch at 7:30.. and now we’re desperately trying to finish it all off.. and everytime the doorbell rings, it’s like a mini heart attack.. Im scared 😌

[queenfirebolt2411]

I only have two moods: ‘BITCH PUHLEASE!’ **dramatic eyeroll**

And

'OMG I’M SO SORRY! PLEASE DON’T BE MAD IM LOVABLE! NO WHY’RE YOU LEAVING DONT GO I NEEEEEED YOU!!!! ’

There really is no in between

[queenfirebolt2411]

It’s ironic how all I ever search for on Google and Pinterest are Tumblr posts, yet I never check my dash on tumblr

[queenfirebolt2411]

My humour is warped. You tell me a joke and I’ll probably laugh just out of politeness.

But you make a clever pun, or a sadistic yet sarcastic comment and I’ll laugh sincerely.

And then comes the hysterical laugh-till-i-cant-breathe for absolutely stupid rubbish like this. It’s unnatural 😮

[queenfirebolt2411]

Sometimes people start talking deep with me. Like real deep. Too deep to handle. So my conversations go like this: Them: **some deep shit**

Me: OMG! I have some really deep stuff too and I really need to get it off my chest!

Them: Oh sure! Shoot!

Me: I don’t think you’ll be able to handle it though

Them: of course I will! Now tell me! Omg you’re killing me!

Me: okay here goes nothing then

Me: I’ve always wanted to know why they put in eyes on the poop emoji. Was it necessary? And who’s idea was it? Did someone sit on the toilet and suddenly decide they’d like to see they’re poop.. and that also their poop would like to see them? It’s really confusing but I’m really curious.

Them: ….

Them: **goes offline and never talks to me again**

[queenfirebolt2411]

I’m the clumsiest person on earth. I can fall while standing upright. It’s like gravity just acts stronger on me or something

When I fall in front of my best friend.. I just look up in the utmost horror with the realisation I can’t stand straight.. and then I look at her and we both fall about laughing

I look up with the same expression when I fall in front of my bf. He just looks skywards and his expression says ‘why the fuck do I have to deal with this shit. ’

This happens EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.