Everythings Real @sumthings-gottagive - Tumblr Blog

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nuocmamboi

Reblog if you're shorter than 5'8.

breedafool

If you don’t reblog this, you are on duty to get the cookies off the top shelf. You have been notified.

emeraldsiren19

4'6 here. At home, I climb a step stool and will ask a tall friend when I’m out and about.

toastgull

Reblog and you’re guaranteed to be successful at whatever you do next!

dovewithscales

Can’t hurt. Here’s hoping for an awesome birthday party.

shitposting-hobbits-to-gallifrey

Hey maybe I can get my homework done!

chopinstan-deactivated20251119

Fingers crossed on my piano performance tmrw!

llleighsmith

anyone else feel like their spirit is ancient and they’ve been carrying the weight of its heartbreak for an eternity

violent-darts

My dad’s literal first words on holding me for the first time were “ …she’s done this before, and she’s not happy to be back.”

i-am-the-punk-mermaid

That is such a badass thing to say about a newborn

thecheshiresmiles

everytime I hear about children of the corn I think about the guy I met at comic con who actually lived in the town they filmed that movie at, and on the farm where they filmed in the corn. he was a teenager at the time and him and his friends would get drunk on moonshine and rustle the corn and let the air out of the tires of the production team’s trailers and shit. and now there’s Wikipedia pages about how the children of the corn set was haunted and they thought they angered god but it was really just drunk hillbillies

superiorhomo

I don’t like adding to posts but I also have a funny story like this, so I was watching the movie the Blair witch which takes place in burkettsville maryland, which to me is so funny because that is were my grandfather lives and the town is literally just old people and cows with their main street consisting of a post office. Well anyway he told me that after it came out people were coming in like bus loads to the town to find the witch and my grandfather lives up in the Mountain area and people were up in his property trying to find the witch and it made him angry so he went out and hung up stick people and stacked rocks and it freaked the people out so they started thinking something was out there when really it was my 80 year old Italian grandpa who wanted people out of his woods.

ginathethundergoddess

We had ghost hunters come to a historic house in my town to film and if you think every high school kid in town respectfully stayed at home that night instead of going to fuck up that filming you’re dead wrong.

animentality

this is comforting, actually, sometimes paranormal things are just a bunch of bored people dicking around in the woods.

kalyayev-deactivated20180228

New favorite cryptid: locals

mysharona1987

These people are, in fact, actually evil and completely lacking in any sort of empathy for their fellow humans.

This is not an exaggeration.

Literally laughing at young children. Being tear-gassed.

There are Disney cartoon villains who wouldn’t even do that.

thepeoplesmanifesto

I know people like to say “nazis are people” but they’re fucking not, they’re daemons, and they want to create a literal Hell on Earth

arcaneloquence

Don’t look away from this. Don’t be silent. Hold them accountable, hold their supporters accountable. Make it clear that this is not right, not welcome, and that it is answerable. Force acquaintances and relatives who prop these people up to look at this, make them explain it to you. Demand they tell you why they’re okay with it so they have to say it out loud. Make them uncomfortable. Make them see it. Make them answer.

profeminist

“fascist rogue state deploys chemical weapons against unarmed civilians on another country’s sovereign soil”

Scott Madin‏, responding to report “ US Border Patrol has just launched tear gas into Mexico. Breeze carrying it hundreds of yards. Parents running away with choking toddlers. #migrantcaravan”

anarchistettin

five minutes before they did it, my friend’s roommate said “they won’t do it”

sixpenceee

Photography hacks they use in advertising by blossom

sharpiecoffeedragon

I feel so betrayed by ads

crows-and-cats

Thanks, I hate it

quicksilver-rain

One of the contractors at work drove past my shack on a forklift yesterday, stopped, backed up to my window and said, “hey, do you have a boyfriend or girlfriend?”

My knee jerk response when asked this, even if it’s by a companionable dude old enough to be my dad, is to go, “uh, nah-” and then ramble uncomfortably until someone stops me-

-which is what I started to do, only to be cut off by Contractor saying, in an embarrassed rush, “some of the guys were asking me because you and I talk sometimes, but I didn’t want them to hit on you at work, so I told them that you Worship the Devil and would Hex them if they tried. I’m sorry.”

Which leaves me wheezing helplessly, trying to get my shit together, because this is honestly one of the nicest, most hysterical things I’ve ever heard someone say to me.

Oblivious to this, Contractor then follows up with, “and they were like ‘forreal??’ so I was like, ‘yeah, she’s probably a sadist, too, you can tell by her jewelry. She’ll stab you or something.’”

And tbh I can’t even come up with anything witty to say in response, so all I manage to choke out is, “pleASE LET THEM CONTINUE TO THINK THAT, I’M BEGGING YOU.”

And Contractor just smiles and is like, “Okay! I just wanted to let you know!” before driving off with his forklift.

Like?? Thank god for Contractor tbh. He’s an angel among men, and I hope the rest of his life is filled with prosperity and happiness and like, that he finds $20 on the ground every week for the rest of his life.

quicksilver-rain

Update: Every time Contractor sees me, he does a little Devil Horns gesture at me and its adorable.

quicksilver-rain

Update the Second: I saw Contractor while doing my tour and he told me that the guy that asked if I was single was around, and that if I saw him, I should just make complicated hand gestures at him while I walk by to scare him off.

This guy’s a fuckin gem.

running-batty

It’s that time of year to say no to the Salvation Army.

Never forget they let a Trans woman die instead of helping her.

Never forget they have tossed entire families on the street for having an LGBT child.

Never forget they tell non Christian families that unless they convert they will not help them.

Never forget that the Salvation Army is bigoted and hateful, many of the bell ringers routinely heckle and harass LGBT couples.

ftwobr2000

Annual reblog.

cosmomage

In case you’re worried about being rude by ignoring the bell ringers.

la-laborista-republiko

Fuck the Starvation Army. Give them nothing.

yeahiwasintheshit

NEVER DONATE TO THE SALVATION ARMY

probablymetarpgideas

Reblogging so that people dont accidentally donate to a hate group

land-of-birds-and-comics

god i just found this again while folder cleaning

one of the few crossdressing ducks that didn’t make me break out in hives, on account of not having been forced to do it for emasculating reasons or anything, it’s just a practical solution to daisy having too many obligations since they look exactly, and i mean exactly the same

one of those obligations was manning a kissing booth for charity and donald punching a catcaller in the face escalates into guys just fucking lining up to get decked by a cute little duck

land-of-birds-and-comics

get on his fucking level, mickey

queertoonish

#mickey: who’ll have to endure this humiliation#donald: who’ll get to wear the pretty dress

podle5

GET ON HIS FUCKING LEVEL, MICKEY

titenoute

@modmad

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

God I was at that restaurant in Annapolis yesterday that serves those 4 lbs milkshakes and these two dudes were just finishing one together and people were asking them for tips and they were like “you have to get like mint chocolate chip or something because if there’s no texture it gets too boring to finish” and all I could keep thinking was that it can only be a matter of time before some god wipes this town off the map and we will have earned it with our disgusting hubris

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Everyone who has ever finished one of these will have it weighed against a feather when they die

bearisthename

Doable? Maybe

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

Listen. After the Burger Incident of 2016 I’ve learned to accept my fragile mortality and live within the boundaries set for humanity by the Universe.

bearisthename

I’m a little nervous but my curiosity is overwhelming~ what, pray tell, is the Burger incident of 2016?

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

In 2016 the day Pokémon Go came out I worked up a big appetite with my friends and we went to Steak ‘n Shake and I decided that none of the burgers looked big enough which…..I don’t know if I thought the photos on the menu were actual size I don’t know what was going on but

I asked the server for the biggest one they had and she said “that’s the 7x7, it’s not on the menu…you don’t want that”

And immediately my friends knew I was fucked because I felt challenged which I blame on my middle child syndrome and also on that I am by birth just an idiot so I ordered it without knowing competitive food bloggers write entire articles about this thing.

I sort of knew I was in trouble when the cook came to see who’d ordered it but I wasn’t backing down and in the end I ate all 1300 calories and THEN the fries and ALSO my shake and I had to go to my friend’s and take a three hour nap and when I woke up I was so fucked up that I just started eating leaves straight off her mint plant because antacids weren’t going to cut it.

Then I complained for like two days and Ultimately I learned absolutely nothing.