Tales From the Mitten

Blog chronicling the tastes of an unemployed 26-year-old college dropout. There really is no rhyme nor reason to this blog. Enjoy!

[geminiwishes]

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

Don't joke about COVID-19 on April Fool's Day

[spockvarietyhour]

[iamthecutestofborg]

This is what happens to characters when you write an AU fanfic

[edgar-allan-possum]

Off goes Riker, to the coffee shop.

[saltysalmonella]

JUST SOME THOUGHTS! I don’t really like the “go from the top up” advice on drapery/clothes - if you’re having difficulty try it like this!

YES I see the typo… I’m so sorry folks… I was in a frenzied rush to make this…… and I’m too lazy to fix it……

[automodownremade-deactivated202]

reblog to add +10 haunting power to your ghost when you die

[jokesarefunny]

i aint risking being a weak ass ghost

[stephendann]

Reblog for a +2 to visibility to cats when nothing else can see you

[charlesoberonn]

Don’t be afraid to dream

This beloved Cartoon series

started as this webcomic

This best seller Manga

and critically acclaimed hit animated series

started out as this webcomic

And this best seller novel

And award winning blockbuster movie

started out as a serialized free story on somebody’s website.

Don’t be afraid to write big even if you start small.

[quillwritten]

Don’t be afraid to write big even if you start small

[shit-overheard-at-hogwarts]

Hufflepuff: Stop saying “I want to” and start saying “I will!”

Gryffindor: I will fly

Hufflepuff: Wait n-

Gryffindor, point their wand at themselves: WinGARDIUM-

[imaginarycircus]

here is a calming cat if you need one.

[this-tragic-affair]

Glasses problems

trying to lay on your side

steam

rain

water in general

3d movies

having to choose to either wear sunglasses and not see or see and be blinded by the sun

glasses tan lines

sports

when your shirt is the wrong material to clean them

ppl taking them to try them on

they are never clean

literally never

where does the dirtiness come from????

[the-social-recluse]

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

finding someone aesthetically pleasing

being sexually attracted to someone

being romantically attracted to someone

#and its ok if you can’t figure out what the fuck you’re actually feeling

[rabdoidal]

hozier coming out of his bog to offer u some flowers in this trying time

[chuckdrawsthings]

choose your fighter

[maybe-this-time]

Everyone always wants to talk about Hook or Pan. Everyone always wants to debate which one is good and which is evil - who we’re supposed to follow and who we aren’t. The Peter Pan mythos has pretty much shrunk down to nothing but Hook and Pan (Hook, SyFy’s Neverland, Pan, OUAT, etc). Occasionally Tinkerbell factors in (Hook, Disney’s Tinkerbell, OUAT, etc). There’s one character, however, that always gets sidelined - which is puzzling since they are the main character of both the play and the book. That character is, of course, Wendy Darling.

Peter Pan is Wendy’s coming of age story. Wendy who decides to run away from home. Wendy who realizes that she must grow up - and that there’s no shame in that. Wendy who sees Peter as deficient and sees Hook as empty and decides that, no, she doesn’t want to be a part of that. Wendy gets the adventure she’s always wanted and she turns away because she realizes that it’s lacking. She’s the only one who truly sees the hollowness of being young forever. Barrie even says “You need not be sorry for her. She was one of the kind that likes to grow up. In the end she grew up of her own free will a day quicker than other girls.”

People always debate on who the hero is. When they learn that Peter could be horrid they assume it has to be Hook. Of course, the answer is that neither of them are the hero. Wendy is the hero of the story. You’re not supposed to be like Peter, who kept every good and bad aspects of being a child and can’t tell right from wrong. You’re not supposed to be Hook, either. He let go of everything childish and loving about him and became bitter and evil. They’re both the extreme ends of the scale. You’re supposed to fall in the middle, to hold onto the things about childhood that make it beautiful - the wonder, the imagination, the innocence - while still growing up and learning morality and responsibility. You’re not supposed to be Hook. You’re not supposed to be Peter Pan.

You’re supposed to be Wendy Darling. 

[wheeloffortune-design]

I want to apologise to

- Britney for making fun of her when she had her breakdown

- Monica Lewinski for judging her when she was a 22year old temp sexually assaulted by the most powerful man in the world

- Ke$ha for ever thinking she was trashy when all she wanted to do was make party music

- Kristen Stewart for ever thinking she was dumb when she’s actually one of the coolest people ever

- Megan Fox for ever thinking she was just a slut when actually she was an actress being harassed by her employer. 

- Hating all the women who made a career out of having a hot body. Being is shape is hard, beauty is a weapon and auto promotion is hard work. 

- All the Mary-Sues, who exist because young girls everywhere want to be part of a story they love so much

- All the female characters I ever snobbed because they got in the way of my ship.

- Hating the color pink during my teenage years, when it’s actually a lovely color and what I resented was society’s pressure to perform femininity. 

[thebibliosphere]

Adventures of Oppy the-not-a-roomba thus far:

Computer chairs are an implement of Satan and must be removed from the office, one plastic cracking headbutt at a time.

Humans get in the way a lot.

“Help I have lost my way, oh no wait, it’s just dark under the bed nm.”

The floor fan is an object of much affection and she will woo it one day.

The couch is still unclimable.

Our lifesize cardboard cutout of Legolas is public enemy number one and she did not come here to play y'all. She fucking rammed into him so hard he flipped over the back of grandma’s chair 😂

“New floor map incomplete, this may be because obstacles were encountered or the unit was moved” is code for “pick up your shit or I will destroy myself attempting to eat your socks so help me god. I am 8lbs of mechanical rage and determination and this floor will be clean”.

Best quality: her wiggles.

[bellamynochillblake]

we’re going to have to call smut ‘lemons’ again, aren’t we? 

[im-reddie]

LEMONS!? WHEN THE FUCK WAS THIS?!

[bellamynochillblake]

oh you sweet summer child 

[fool-errant]

I actually made this a button last convention

[smooththegoofyshark]

Gaud I remember when it was lemons, I feel old now

[butteryswimmingthing]

explain pls

[smooththegoofyshark]

No

[smol-bean-meme-machine]

What are lemons??

[phylix]

I don’t own the copyright to this, others own the show. All I have is this saaaad little computer and a sketch pad. ^-^ Please don’t sue! I don’t need anymore stress!

Please R&R!!!!!!!

No flames. >///<

[lotrlocked]

lol this story contains slash! Don’t like don’t read. Rated M. AragornxLegolas. lemon. Lololol ^-^ NO FLAMES OR I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY STABBITY SPORK OF Death! -__-

[dayoldhakarl-deactivated2021011]

#this post made me age ten thousand years.

[marloviandevil]

A/N: Things are probably going to be very OOC but who cares, It’s my fic, I do what I want! MUAHAHAHA!

[thefloatingstone]

Things story is lime but it might get a little lemony in later chapters ^.^ R&R no flaming!!! I don’t own the characters

[cocofinny]

[honestlymydude]

[windyvalleyzone]

alignment chart for how you keep place in a book

[marisatomay]

we were all sitting around in a post-present haze when my brother blurts out “shit I need to take my meds” and all of us get up because all of us collectively forgot to take our meds

[marisatomay]

merry christmas take your meds