quick dismantle for those who are starting to feel like it’s not worth speaking against narcissistic abuse:
children are being abused by narcissists right now, with no way to find out if there’s no resources being written about it
narcissistic abuse has been found to be so specifically devastating on the human body that even if it’s not physical, it causes long-term physical symptoms (chronic pain, chronic fatigue, inability to sleep regularly, over-active cortisol, over-responsive brain chemicals that give you ptsd symptoms)
there are people organizing forums, writing books, articles, posts, people making videos, checklists and all possible resources for dealing with narcissistic abuse. all of those people are survivors and victims of it. they’re not all making it up. they’re not all doing it for something that doesn’t exist.
dynamics of the narcissistic abuse are so pervasive, a person will usually feel they’re going insane and doubt themselves so hard until they finally find resources on narcissistic abuse, which is going to help them regain their sanity and find sense in what has been happening to them
narcissistic abuse has left millions of people feeling they’re not worthy of attention, care, resources, community, support or trust, and they’re accepting abuse as their normal. we can’t abandon them. we can’t say this is okay and look the other way in order to protect the narcissists.
if you’re worried that speaking out against narcissistic abuse is creating stigma against narcissists, remember that our writings and resources are being spread only among victims and survivors. narcissists are still controlling the mainstream narrative and all articles you look up as a non-survivor will convince you that narcissists are the ‘same as normal people’
for survivors of narcissistic abuse, it’s absolutely vital to avoid future narcissists and to be aware of their tactics. this is not limiting their access to public resources or public people in general, it’s only limiting their success among victims and survivors. ask yourself why would they want access to survivors and victims specifically. why is it so important that to this particular demographic, they look appealing.
narcissists claiming that if we don’t want them to have and abuse children, it’s ‘genocide’, genocide against who? narcissists most often don’t make other narcissists, they’re mostly creating abused kids. so the apparent genocide is against the abused children. they’re accusing us of genocide against ourselves.
narcissists finding abused people taking about abuse and attacking them for ‘smearing their reputation’ is a cover-up and darvo tactics. Only an abuser could turn against an abuse victim to act hurt and police their language instead of feeling rage towards the abuser. Anyone non-abusive would immediately have a problem with a narcissist who did the abuse, not with the victim who speaks out about it.
saying ‘not-all-narcissists’ is still admitting that a lot of them do abuse, and for the sake of their reputation, we have to shut up about it all. shut up. about abusers. to protect reputations. who except an abuser would need that to happen.
other times when they’re claiming no narcissist is abusive, they’re accusing millions of victims to be liars. openly denying experiences of abuse victims only to make themselves look good. we’re going to stand around and allow this?
making one narcissist feel like they don’t belong into safe spaces of victims is not more important than protecting the vulnerable part of the population from narcissistic abuse
abuse victims don’t have to be exposed to anyone who has anything in common with their abuser. we have the right to feel safe at the expense of anyone’s feelings.
Speaking against narcissistic abuse is NOT futile. They’re fighting to shut it off precisely because it’s limiting their access to victims. Every day a victim of narcissistic abuse finds their way to their freedom because there are people who spoke out about it.
