Ok wait hornypost cancelled I want to talk about parent Dean Winchester. I want to talk about Dean raising Sammy since he was four, carrying him around even though Sam was about half his size, warming up baby formula for him, kissing his forehead before bed every night like their mom taught him. And I want to talk about Dean dropping out of high school so he can pick up more work to make ends meet, sure, but I also want to talk about five-year-old Dean skipping kindergarten because who else is gonna take care of Sammy? Dad? Dad’s busy, and Dad doesn’t know how to take care of Sammy right anyway, Dad doesn’t know how to make him do that stupid gummy smile and little babbling thing that he always does for Dean. I want to talk about Dean smiling at his dad and announcing that Sam said his first word, dada, even though it actually sounded a lot more like Dee-Dee.
And then I want to talk about Dean building his entire identity around caring for Sam, around being a parent (even if he wouldn’t really put it that way). I want to talk about Dean with those parent blinders that make some people think their kids are the specialest, most perfect and beautiful beings in all creation. I want to talk about Dean being so goddamn terrified of losing Sam all the time and every now and then failing to hide it, exploding at his little brother for tiny things like Sam staying out too late without texting.
And last I want to talk about Dean the empty-nester. Dean whose entire life, his pride and joy, his responsibility and his baby, just walked out the door, willingly, and left him. I want to talk about Dean not knowing where to even begin handling those emotions, not even knowing how to describe them because he’s not Sam’s parent, and even when he admits to himself that, okay, maybe he kind of was, how the fuck does that help him? Who the fuck could understand his experience? Who else out there was shoved into the roles of father, mother, brother, and protector starting at four and ending now, all the sudden, leaving him alone and confused and so fucking lost without his living, breathing purpose.