Twins? Where did that idea ever come from?
Bonus, each acting like the other, smart vs brave:
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@supertangie
Twins? Where did that idea ever come from?
Bonus, each acting like the other, smart vs brave:
I’ve been stressed and upset so I’m drugging the brothers cocaine and sedative
Something something rainbows and unicorns
something something thumbs up as more than just a thumbs up
poseidon answering sally's prayer in under ten seconds in season one has the same energy as percy emerging from the water with annabeth dagger in moa. both of these men are whipped as hell and will gladly admit it lmao
Red Hood comes back and everything's the same except Bruce doesn't realise that while Jason's still pissed at him, it's more of a familial feud than it is a genuine casting himself away from the family forever. Jason's under the impression that what's going on between him and B is just normal teenage rebellion- after all, Dick basically did the same shit when they were younger, he remembers sitting on top of the stairs and listening to the arguments, hell he remembers eating popcorn while stood in the middle of a couple of them. they're a family of fucked up vigilantes, it makes sense to him that their father-son brawls are just as dramatic as the rest of their lives.
after the rooftop showdown where Bruce saves the Joker he gets into the batmobile, slightly depressed that he has to go back home and tell Alfred that he failed oh so spectacularly at convincing Jason to come home and probably actually made things a 100% worse and oh god when he finds out about the batarang-
Red Hood opens the passenger door and gets into the car
Jason: jesus christ B are you THAT fucking stubborn? YOU ALMOST DECAPITATED ME WITH THAT THING
Bruce:
Jason: whatever. actually, don't fucking talk to me. I'm not continuing this until next patrol where trust me I WILL be shooting you in the neck.
Bruce: ...w-
Jason: CAN YOU HURRY UP AND FUCKING DRIVE ALREADY? Jesus it's fucking freezing out and the heater isn't even on!
Bruce has absolutely no fucking clue what's going on. He continues to stare in the very rare Batman Bafflement that only his kids have ever managed to get out of him.
Is Jason... coming home with him?
He's so shocked at the sudden turn of events, so scared of flinching slightly in the wrong direction and ruining whatever the fuck convinced his son to actually get in the car with him, that he decides in a moment of pure panic to not question it. He turns the car on, silently turns on the heater, and proceeds to white knuckle the steering wheel and stiffly drive back to the manor, terrified that even breathing too loud will disrupt the way the Red Hood is spitefully messing with the radio station until it's playing Bruce's least favourite station at a way-too-loud volume.
when they get home Jason flips Bruce off and goes straight to the kitchen, dishing himself up some food from the dinner table with a couple of casual greeting grunts as if everyone isn't staring at him in shock and awe. Bruce comes in behind him and shrugs helplessly. Dick's face has gone white, and he's clutching his glass so hard it's started to splinter in his hands. Tim's the only person who manages to get past it all, blinking up at Jason's massive hulking frame.
Tim: I thought you hated us now
Jason: *eating, gives a questioning hum*
Tim: you keep fighting with Batman
Jason: yeah, fuck batman. I'm so pissed at him right now
Bruce: h-
Jason: Shut the fuck up I'm still mad at you.
Jason, to Tim: it's family tradition to hate Bruce and strike out on your own. Doesn't mean I shouldn't be allowed Alfie's impeccable cooking.
Tim:
Tim: ...you also tried to kill me
Jason: you replaced me as Robin. an attempt on your life is also family tradition. Dick tried to kill me a month after I took up the mantle
Tim:
Dick, so exasperated it breaks him out of his shock: oh come on, it was not a murder attempt-
Jason, slamming his fist on the table: I HAVE A PEANUT ALLERGY AND YOU TRIED TO FEED ME A SNICKERS BAR!
Dick: FOR THE LAST TIME I DIDN'T KNOW-
Bruce, desperate: boys-
Jason, whirling around: WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING TO ME?
Bruce:
Jason: oh that reminds me. hey Alfred? guess what B did like twenty minutes ago.
Alfred: ..?
Bruce: Jaylad please-
Jason: he threw a batarang at my neck.
Alfred:
Bruce:
Alfred: master Bruce-
Bruce quite honestly would have preferred it if Jason was a villain instead of a rebellious teen.
I feel like Tim goes with it in a way that deeply uncomfortable for Bruce. Like Tim hears that Jason considers trying to kill a family tradition and turns to Bruce and Dick with a frown, going 'You couldn't have told me about this? I wouldn't have freaked out nearly as hard if I realized it was tradition. What if I made a bad impression on Jason'
This is
1) A hilarious interpretation of everything with Jason coming back. Robin rebellions are just like that apparently.
2) This idea sets up some hilarious interactions for Damian joining the family. Tim gets one free murder attempt at his successor.
I was thinking, regarding Damian's murder attempts, that Damian still tries to kill Tim, as the interloper/pretender/enemy, and Tim is pissed but not because Damian is trying to kill him but that it is going in wrong direction. How is Tim supposed to welcome Damian into the family properly if he the tradition keeps going in the wrong direction
Tim, aggravated: No, that's- that's not how it's supposed to go. You're ruining this for me. You come in, Bruce takes Robin from me and gives it to you. I blow up at him, storm off, do my own thing, come back with a new hero identity and suit, and then I try to kill you! It's my turn!
Damian, confused but taking notes: Oh. I see. I should then anticipate a proper assassination attempt. I expect you to be up to par.
Both nod seriously, ignoring Bruce having a conniption in the background.
See...Damian gets it. Tim manages to break Damians arm in two places during the murder attempt. Tim is now Damians favorite brother.
Kinda want all this to happen with dick!batman so he can go all indignant and be like "seriously, Tim, I wasn't that bad!" While Jason's just eating popcorn on the sidelines and going "yes, you were"
I bet the JL has a “how fucked are we” metric that’s literally just how many of Bruce’s kids are there.
Like if he pulls up to the alien invasion or whatever with just Robin, then everything’s fine. More than fine, actually, because Bruce feels comfortable enough to bring his eight year old along for the ride. This battle will take approximately fifteen minutes and they’ll all get shawarma after. Not fucked in the slightest.
But if Red Robin shows up too… hmm, okay, this is getting somewhat serious. Tim is one of Bruce’s most trusted partners; he’s the smart Robin, the tactician, the loyal one, and so if Batman brought him along then it means he’s at least a little bit worried about shit hitting the fan and wants one his advisors around. But the combined brain power of Bruce and Tim is pretty much unmatched (DC plot armor for the win), so everything will be fine, basically. Superman might take a hit, but everything’s going to be fine. Just keep calm and you’ll all make it home in time to Door Dash some Panda Express before it closes. So not that fucked.
It starts to get serious after that. When Signal and Spoiler roll up the scene, shit has definitely hit the fan. Batman’s worried enough to call in reinforcements and he’s probably doubting the League’s ability to listen/obey his orders, so he needs a backup plan in case things go really south. But with Signal’s abilities and Steph’s superpower of turning anything into a joke, chances are you’ll be okay. Maybe impaled or something, but okay. But still, fucked.
When Nightwing shows, the JL knows it’s starting to get dicey out on the field. See, Nightwing’s got his own team, his own issues—the fact that he set that all aside to help out his dad is cause for concern. On a scale from 1-10, they are at a 7. Above moderately fucked.
And… oh God. Black Bat? Most of the time the JL doesn’t even see her, but once she makes herself known and starts fighting alongside her siblings, they all start to silently freak out. Black Bat is a fucking machine and if she’s breaking a sweat trying to fight the Big Bad, things are definitely not going to go well. They start praying that Batman figures something out. They freak out. They are intrinsically fucked.
But God Forbid you catch sight of the Red Hood. The prodigal son is a legitimate killer, and if Batman’s letting him blow out brains then the JL knows he’s desperate. And a desperate Batman is not good. At all. They are definitely fucked.
Bruce showing Jason around after he first brings him home
Bruce: ...and don't worry all the chandeliers are reinforced so they won't break while you swing on them
Jason: Why would I do that?
Bruce: ...you don't want to swing on the chandeliers and parkour around the furniture?
Jason: No???
Bruce, tearing up: thank you
Bruce later, sobbing to Alfred: and he said he liked reading and didn't seem too inclined towards murder and-
i had a thought
i need all my friends to look at them rn @junespriince @mbirnsings-71 @pup-pee @icyfox17
AU that the batkids are all serious and bat-like ONLY WHEN BATMAN ISN’T AROUND
Like when they’re on their own team/out of Gotham? Most respected, calm and serious person there. They have a plan and it will work. “Oh yeah I memorized all the exits and people here the second I entered, you didn’t?” That’s them.
But in Gotham w/ Batman? Pranks galore and singing on patrol, they forget to sleep and forget to eat. When Batman tells them their gonna have a longer patrol they all sigh and complain while trying to give other siblings their work in exchange for doing that sibling’s chore.
But nobody knows that they act like that!! Batman would say something like
“Gosh my kids blew something up I have to go,”
AND EVERYONE WHOSE EVER MET THEM IS ALL CONFUSED LIKE “BUT THEIR A BAT?!?! HUH??!”
and Batman would respond
“Oh yeah you know them, always doing something their not supposed to”
JL: “NO?!”
Each of them gets their own team/city and such, and suddenly they realize "Dear lord, I'm the only responsible one here!" Except it's by Batman's standards(i.e., wildly disproportionate to the entire rest of the world). Everyone else is perfectly responsible, they just aren't as hyperaware as the Batkids are used to being. No one but a Bat would walk into a room and count the exits unless it was a serious situation. No one but a Bat could look at a situation and formulate a serious game plan quickly, or see some small tidbit of information and be able to accurately predict where it fits in the greater scheme of things.
So the Batkids all step up to be the "responsible one" of their respective teams. They set the game plans, divvy up responsibilities because if they don't, then who will? And in doing so they each become the Batman of their team.
Dick adapts the best, being the eldest and having worked to keep others in line before. He's able to be chipper and spry while still being the Bat on the team. Jason? Well, he tries. But it's really hard to maintain good banter with subordinates in a crime ring when you need to make sure everyone is doing what they're supposed to. Tim and Damian? Forget it. Tim is always doing something to keep everyone moving, and Damian doesn't have the social skills to really make friends with new people anyway. They're really useful to their teams, no one disputes that, but they both run tight ships.
But when everyone gets back to Gotham, it completely different. They all know the parameters they're used to functioning in, the uptight, never miss anything, never stop planning ahead mindset that was drilled into them and that they drilled into themselves. Suddenly, they don't have to try and hold everyone around them to that standard so that they feel safe. They know the people around them, know that Dick counted the doors when they walked in, Jason saw any angles for covered gunfire, Tim made three different plans for if things went wrong an hour ago, and Damian had scanned for threats before the door swung shut behind them. They can trust the people around them to have their backs fully, because they all function at the same level.
The various teams get called to Gotham, and no one expects Tim to crack a joke and offer to wash the dishes for Damian so he doesn't have to go on patrol because since when does Red Robin let anyone do anything for him? Since when do Red Hood and Nightwing play chicken on patrol, jumping off of buildings to see who'll fire their grappling gun first, trading laughed insults the whole way down? Since when does Robin, angry and self assured, let someone else make the plan?
Over time, the Batkids learn what Batman did: that not everyone needs to function at that level to be good at what they do. It's okay for your teammates to be a little careless, a little clueless, a little unprepared compared to you. And, gradually, they start to relax. They still count the exits, sure, but they let the rest of the team function at their own levels. The reason they had to be as good as Batman in Gotham was because they were dealing with people who knew Batman and how to effectively counter him, anyone less adept than him would be the next best thing to cannon fodder. But most of the villains the teams go up against aren't from Gotham, and compared to people like the Joker they're sloppy, unprepared, and predictable.
The teams get used to more relaxed, more trusting Batkids. They'll occasionally make a joke, play a small prank, offer advice or a listening ear. Still a far cry from the almost irresponsible display they put on during family reunions, but they're part of the team now. Everyone knows that, behind those masks, eyes are scanning, always watching, always seeing everything and noting it down somewhere. But they become used to it, forget it's even happening most of the time, because the Batkids have stopped noting things aloud that they think are important, stopped trying to train everyone around them to be so hypervigilant. They can cover that base for the team, and the team can cover other bases.
It's still a bit strange, the next time the teams all meet in Gotham, how much more carefree the Bats seem. But not as wildly out of character as it did last time. Besides, everyone was able to stop some kind of small crime on the way to the meeting point, a rather large rooftop, and they're all comparing how many petty thieves and assaulters they caught on the way there. Nothing prepares the teams, though, for the Rogue Gallery to disrupt the meeting.
They didn't see them coming the few seconds ahead, like the Bats did, all leaping out of the way and expecting their teammates to do the same, forgetting who they were for half of a moment. The individuals team members all merge together, used to working with their own teams and able to muddle through working with the other ones, but it's the Bats that get everyone through. Inside jokes are tactical commands, smiles and winks are directions on who to strike, the banter that seemed almost too childish for these uptight, no nonsense people is their primary weapon. Nightwing and Red Hood dive off the roof to avoid an explosion, waiting for the last moment before launching their grappling hooks and swinging back up. Red Robin trades Two Face for Poison Ivy with Robin, who lets Batman direct him on where to strike in a very few words.
The Bats work like a well oiled machine, working their hardest to keep everyone less adept, less aware, less prepared in the loop, calling out the smallest of openings as they see them and some of them are truly miniscule, called one moment, appearing the next, and gone before they could blink. But the Bats manage to hit those tiny openings, aiming form them before someone else can signal they've been spotted.
It takes a little while, before the Rogues are taken care of and medical help is administered. But the Batkids are already back to joking, laughing with one another as the teams try and recover. Red Hood playfully punches Robin in a bullet wound on his shoulder, and Robin kicks the large gash on his shin in return. Batman stands off to the side, sighing and shaking his head as his children mock each other for sloppy work, missing openings, getting hurt. Even joins in, when Nightwing makes a comment about him not dodging Flash getting thrown into him. The teams just watch on because was Robin seriously critiquing Nightwing on his seemingly perfect backflip? What did Batman mean that Red Hood's feet crossed somewhere in the fight, how had he even seen that? Why was Red Robin apologizing for a "messy" plan that had kept everyone alive?
The Bats, everyone concluded as they were stitched and bandaged, were just built different.
Imagine Sherlock with a teenage daughter.
“Dad, this is-”
“A boy who was clearly hoping to shag you tonight, judging by the tin of mints and packet of condoms in his pockets. Next!”
John would be just like
and Uncle Mycroft
Actually I think Mycroft would be more like
There is nothing about this post I don’t love
Molly would be there for her daughter though.
A comic tribute I did on @phoenix-downer ‘s fanfiction A Kiss of Awakening!
I appreciate how, even though Shadybug and Claw Noir have the enemies-to-lovers trope, Shadybug still looks to her cat for protection.
FINAL FANTASY XVI: Clive & Jill a heartwarming reunion.
"And I will hoard them as a dragon does her gold- for my memories with you are the most precious of all."
@true-king-of-monsters
The Eikons ship it, but their Dominants are idiots.
cream inc., a professional workplace
ACCEPT THE TRUTH
I did something 🔪
Because of this tweet on Twitter , u know knife lamp outfit color 🥺 makes me love Jote even more knowing she related to a deadly cutie in FF