Okay y'know what Iām gonna soapbox for a hot minute
When I was in high school, a man who Iād thought was the parent of a school friend followed me out to the grocery store parking lot greenhouse where I worked. It was dark, and late, and it was me, alone, in a chain link enclosure with one exit and a register full of cash. He called me up to the fence and asked if I wanted to get dinner, or go dancing. I was scared and shaking and told him no several times, and he only left when I falsely said I had a boyfriend. I was very aware that if he were to come over the fence, or just wait at the exit until I eventually had to leave, I could do nothing about it.
When my hair was very short, a hairdresser sent me to the barberās side of the store so they could get the back of my head with clippers. The barber followed me out to my car to ask me out afterwards. I was very aware that we were the only people in the parking lot when it happened, and that the lot itself was tucked behind the building with no clear visibility to the road.
Today, a man Iāve met once made it very clear he knows where I live, and used that knowledge to express a romantic interest. If he ever decides that heās unhappy with how I responded, he knows where I live. He knows what my car looks like. It is impossibly easy for him to determine when Iām home alone, and now I have to live with that knowledge.
Every woman I know has at least one story like this. My roommate had to be escorted to her car every night when she was a waitress, in case some man was waiting for her or a coworkerās shift to end.
If the person you want to ask out cannot physically run away from you when you are asking, YOU CANNOT ASK THEM OUT. You cannot ask someone out if they are at work. You cannot ask someone out if youāve followed them to a remote/unoccupied/enclosed area. You cannot GO TO SOMEONEāS HOME UNINVITED to ask them out. You are not being romantic. You are not ātaking initiativeā. You are terrifying the person you want to woo. If they say yes, it is not because they want to, it is because they are terrified of what might happen if they say no.
Iām so tired of being terrified by men who think theyāre being romantic.
tangentwithtanner
stormborns
blakekathryn
areudirty
snowghoul
yousharknotpass
romaincrisis
dededos
