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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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hello vonnie
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Misplaced Lens Cap
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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@systemofsky
[ID: A picture of a soft purple orb with a yellow circle inside of it. The background is white and below the orb the following text is written in black letters, "Most people barely know themselves. So what does it matter what they think of you?"]
when holding yourself accountable, make sure you are not inflicting more pain upon yourself (and others) by unnecessarily clinging onto guilt and self hatred. own your mistakes and wrongdoings, but never hold onto it as a definition of identity or self worth.
I am full of love and bisexualism and rice
Bessel van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score
I don’t think healthy people every really get chronic illness.
I have a friend I know from when we were both 6. She is the only person living nearby and so she saw me go from walking through limping to wheelchair on a daily basis. I keep her updated on my health even tho we rarely hang out anymore. She was gonna come over yesterday and I had to cancel. She asked if I can’t hang out later that day. When I said i won’t feel better later, that if I feel that bad in the morning later will only get worse she got annoyed and “joked” that I’m just finding excuses. And I was surprised, she knows all about me being disabled after all? So, a bit taken aback, I told her it’s a normal thing for me.
“But you got the diagnosis now, aren’t you better?? I thought you’ll get better now”
She was honestly surprised and it made me realize a thing. They don’t get it. They don’t get that getting diagnosed only equals benefits like welfare or parking spot for us, and sometimes better pain meds but that is just like pushing luck. That it’s a forever thing. That that one day we felt good a week ago was just a bright spot and doesn’t mean we won’t need our aids anymore, cause chronic illness is not linear and will make a great comeback in next four hours, and the next good day is planned on when we’re 70. Cause when abled people are sick, they get better. And our illness is just an excuse for them. And when we say we will never get better they think we’re being dramatic and pessimistic. And I don’t think they’ll ever get it, cause to get it you need to live it. And I want my friends to stay healthy and not go through hell.
This is definitely okay to reblog and abled people are encouraged to reblog cause maybe it’ll help others understand
Hello it’s me Lexa and this post is relevant again as I just had the Legit Same Talk with someone and I exhausted my number of fucks to give
Oh my god I literally had this conversation with my mother an hour ago.
Mum: “So yeah, I was thinking that when I come down we could do visit an art gallery or a museum or something.”
Me: “I’ll have to see if I’m up for it, I’ve been going through a rough patch. I might not have the energy.”
Mum: “But you love art galleries.”
Me: “I know. What part of ‘it hurts to walk long distances now’ is hard for you though?”
I routinely have people well aware of my disabilities/chronic illness congratulate me on how I “seem to be doing so much better these days!” on a good pain/energy day and then basically try to stage an intervention a week later on a bad one. “You seem to be on a decline lately, I’m just concerned you’re not taking care of yourself!” And then a week later on a good day again congratulate me on how I really seem to have improved and must be making a real effort to keep on top of my health, with no irony or self-awareness whatsoever. The narrative of “getting better” is so ingrained that healthy abled people will ignore massive amounts of cognitive dissonance to apply it where it makes absolutely no sense.
And this belief in “getting better” is actively harmful because that’s how we get shitty things like people having their benefits “reviewed” and taken away because it’s been ten years and they’re not going to the doctor “enough.” They don’t need to get constant treatment after they know what they have, but that doesn’t mean they’re magically cured or just “not trying”!!! It means they’re ill, they’re always going to be ill, and going to the doctor every week isn’t going to change that (not to mention it’s expensive af)!
I see this in my job much more frequently than I should (we help people fight benefit denials and occasionally get back benefits after these “reviews”). Sometimes it’s justified - the person went back to work - but more often, it’s not, it’s just that some worker somewhere decided that this person or that person should be all better by now, and that’s just not how chronic illness works, so ending this idea that chronically ill people will just get better would help put a stop to shit like that.
They cannot comprehend that we do not control our health. In their world, when people are sick it’s because they caught it from someone else, and if you stay sick it’s your fault for not taking care of yourself. They cannot fathom a world where you can
do everything right and still be sick.
“don’t let your disability define you! Fight! INspirEd! Taking back my life from Cancer!” This narrative is everywhere in Able culture. If you JUST tried harder you’d get better. THAT is what they live and believe.
Therefore to them if we are “still” sick or “Sick Again” it’s because WE did something wrong. They can’t comprehend a world where you can’t Earn health as a reward for performing purity, kale and yoga.
people who got lucky don’t want to acknowledge how absolutely, terrifyingly random the whole world is and how little we can actually control our circumstances. thin people really think they just ‘eat better’ than fat people. the rich really think they’re better with money than the poor. and abled people really, really do not want to face up to the fact that you can do everything right and the universe just doesn’t fucking care and you can get arthritis in your twenties, or chronic fatigue syndrome basically whenever, or maybe your legs just stop working and no one will be able to tell you why.
don’t have a pithy conclusion here. just, listen to people when they tell you what’s wrong with them. goddamn.
Your impact on other people is bigger than you think. Someone still giggles when they think of that funny thing you said. Someone still smiles when they think of the compliment you gave them. Someone silently admires you. The advice you give has made a difference for people. The support and love you've offered others has made someone's day. Your input and opinions have made someone think twice. You're not insignificant and forgotten. Your existence makes a positive difference, whether you see it or not.
"May I be the tiniest nail in the house of the universe, tiny but useful." - Mary Oliver, Upstream: Selected Essays
you can still be kind. you can still sit in the sun. you can still love and be loved, but especially love. you can still want warmth, light and goodness. whatever happens. however much time passes. it doesn’t need to change. you’ll always be you. your heart will always be soft. your eyes will always be bright. and the world will always have kind, beautiful things. waiting just for you.
Out of curiosity, what is the book series that holds a very dear place in your heart? Like, what books send you into a nostalgic pool when you think about them ?
“You were born with the ability to change someone’s life, don’t ever waste it.”
— Unknown
4, 61, 62 and 69 ❤️❤️
Thank you so much for the ask! 🤗
4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you?
Mostly quiet and very bright in class. But also being kinda wild sometimes, never listening to what we were told (we got Panthera to thank for that, she will probably never learn to listen to anything haha) and causing a lot of trouble with my two best friends at the time. Who were actually a bad influence and quite toxic, so I am really glad to not have any contact with them anymore.
61. Favourite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show etc.:
I couldn't decide on just one, so I picked one for TV shows and it's this one from Doctor Who:
"We are all stories in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?" - The Doctor
And one for movies, I chose this one from X-Men - Days of Future Past:
"Just because someone stumbles and loses their path, doesn’t mean they’re lost forever.”
- Professor X
62. Seven characters you relate to:
This was a fun one because I have 8 introjects based on my own original characters from the book I am writing! So it would probably be most of them.
Otherwise, in existing media it would have to be:
Clary Fairchild and Magnus Bane from Shadowhunters (because Clary is such a self-insert for me and Magnus is a magical queen and I want to be as badass as him!)
X-23/Laura Kinney from X-Men (also an introject in our system)
Lagertha from Vikings
Captain Jack Harkness from Doctor Who/Torchwood
Bucky Barnes and Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow from Marvel
I just can relate to a lot of the pain and struggles these characters have gone through (especially Laura, Bucky and Natasha, which might seem extreme but honestly, it's closer to the truth of my actual life story than I would like to admit. Minus the becoming a killing machine of course).
If I turn out just a fraction as strong, powerful and kind-hearted as they do, I would be very content with my life despite all the shit we had to face.
69. A fun fact that you don't know how you learned:
Sea cucumbers basically throw out their poisonous intestines at an attacker in defence if they feel threatened.
That knowledge just randomly appeared in my head someday. I don't even want to know who looked that up and why.
i do not identify as a boy or girl, i identify as a nuisance. an irritant. a fool and a problem
Parts do not wear name tags, nor do personality systems come with road maps or instruction manuals. Every part of the client shares the same body, the same brain, the same environment. When we have a feeling or thought, it could be the expression of any part. To know “whose” feeling or thought requires familiarity: a personal relationship with the part that allows immediate recognition when we hear its voice. Or to know requires that we pause, listen carefully, and piece together the data or clues: which part would have reacted to that trigger? What kind of part would feel ashamed right now?
Janina Fisher, Healing the Fragmented Selves of Trauma Survivors, Chapter 5 "Befriending Our Parts: Sowing the Seeds of Compassion"
via weheartit
[ID: A drawing of the outlines of multiple silhouettes of sitting people. There is a bright yellow string that connects all of them. There is black text around them that reads: “Forgive all of your selves.”]
weird asks that say a lot
in
1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?
2. chocolate bars or lollipops?
3. bubblegum or cotton candy?
4. how did your elementary school teachers describe you?
5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?
6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?
7. earbuds or headphones?
8. movies or tv shows?
9. favorite smell in the summer?
10. game you were best at in p.e.?
11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?
12. name of your favorite playlist?
13. lanyard or key ring?
14. favorite non-chocolate candy?
15. favorite book you read as a school assignment?
16. most comfortable position to sit in?
17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?
18. ideal weather?
19. sleeping position?
20. preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)?
21. obsession from childhood?
22. role model?
23. strange habits?
24. favorite crystal?
25. first song you remember hearing?
26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?
27. favorite activity to do in cold weather?
28. five songs to describe you?
29. best way to bond with you?
30. places that you find sacred?
31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?
32. top five favorite vines?
33. most used phrase in your phone?
34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?
35. average time you fall asleep?
36. what is the first meme you remember ever seeing?
37. suitcase or duffel bag?
38. lemonade or tea?
39. lemon cake or lemon meringue pie?
40. weirdest thing to ever happen at your school?
41. last person you texted?
42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?
43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?
44. favorite scent for soap?
45. which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero?
46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?
47. favorite type of cheese?
48. if you were a fruit, what kind would you be?
49. what saying or quote do you live by?
50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?
51. current stresses?
52. favorite font?
53. what is the current state of your hands?
54. what did you learn from your first job?
55. favorite fairy tale?
56. favorite tradition?
57. the three biggest struggles you’ve overcome?
58. four talents you’re proud of having?
59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?
60. if you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be?
61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?
62. seven characters you relate to?
63. five songs that would play in your club?
64. favorite website from your childhood?
65. any permanent scars?
66. favorite flower(s)?
67. good luck charms?
68. worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried?
69. a fun fact that you don’t know how you learned?
70. left or right handed?
71. least favorite pattern?
72. worst subject?
73. favorite weird flavor combo?
74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?
75. when did you lose your first tooth?
76. what’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)?
77. best plant to grow on a windowsill?
78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?
79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?
80. earth tones or jewel tones?
81. fireflies or lightning bugs?
82. pc or console?
83. writing or drawing?
84. podcasts or talk radio?
84. barbie or polly pocket?
85. fairy tales or mythology?
86. cookies or cupcakes?
87. your greatest fear?
88. your greatest wish?
89. who would you put before everyone else?
90. luckiest mistake?
91. boxes or bags?
92. lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights?
93. nicknames?
94. favorite season?
95. favorite app on your phone?
96. desktop background?
97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?
98. favorite historical era?
may you find the courage to let yourself be vulnerable long enough to be truly seen, held, healed and protected
reblog and put in the tags what your favorite fictional characters have in common
