jess

~ 19, she/her ~

[alexjones]

i’m part of a generation that can send “snap chats” but couldn’t dehull buckwheat if their life depended on it 😒☕️🐸😪

[buzzfeed]

“Her breasts jounced their agreement.”

[trashboat]

i go absolutely ape shit buck wild when people ask me if i want to run errands with them like Let’s Fucking Go. and my mind absolutely maxes out of dopamine when they ask if i wanna stop for coffee. and if someone took me to the park id go bonkers in funcking yonkers

[trashboat]

i got so high last night that i started ghostwriting for a golden retriever apparently

[meladoodle]

These are some of the things Facebook thinks I’m interested in

[sarahseeandersen]

[dragon-in-a-fez]

my friend’s four-year-old son wouldn’t go to sleep because he wanted to keep looking at the stars and she tried to bribe him with a piece of chocolate and he just said “would you rather get a reward or be happy” and turned back to the window

[jausters]

Oh my… God?

[adventrust]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[animals-lovers]

[rslashrats]

WHY WERENT YOU AT ELF PRACTICE

[laurbyboom]

when u suckin dick and u look up and they like

[laurbyboom]

[neverthere12345]

[ithelpstodream]

[cwote]

[shock]

new movie ranking system: how cute was the CGI wolf? 

if it doesn’t have CGI wolves, that doesn’t mean it’s subject to other rating systems, that just means it fails 

[shock]

THOR: RAGNAROK - 5/5, perfect score

NARNIA: THE LION, THE WITCH, AND THE WARDROBE - 4.5/5, voiced by a dude who sounds really hot which gets a separate bonus, boosting the ranking by .5

TWILIGHT: THE LAST ONE - 5/5, their hands were giant 

THE JUNGLE BOOK - 5/5. lots of personality. look pretty cartoony and not believable, but i like it.

[shock]

INCEPTION. no wolves. 0/5. a disgrace of a movie.

[xvtvi]

[bigthecat]