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Discoholic đȘ©
pixel skylines
Cosmic Funnies
cherry valley forever
Misplaced Lens Cap
hello vonnie
if i look back, i am lost
romaâ
trying on a metaphor
i don't do bad sauce passes
Three Goblin Art
blake kathryn
taylor price
AnasAbdin
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
ojovivo
YOU ARE THE REASON
Game of Thrones Daily
Keni
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@tacobaker
Parking sensor via Shitty_Car_Mods
if anyone on this website even vaguely implies that this car is shitty iâll rip the shingles off of the roof of your house. every last one. Look at the chickens they have little bowties and everything
whoever you are who made this, thank you
thank you with all my heart
I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (âsay bye bus!â) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
Iâm glad thereâs a teacher version of âaccidentally called teacher âmomââ
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people âmy lordâ
One time during family prayer, dad began: âour father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?â
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to say âWelcome to White Castle, whatâs your crave?â) asked, âWelcome to White Castle, whatâs your problem?â
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendyâs and the girl said âWelcome to McDonaldsâ and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered âplease open your books to page eightâ, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say â$2.60 is your totalâ while handing back their change, or say âhow are you doing today?â instead of âhave a good day!â like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: âfew books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be bothâ
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say âthanks, youre all setâ and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said âthanks, youre importantâ
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said âoh thank you! youre important too!â
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was âat least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined âyoure welcomeâ and âno problemâ into âyoure a problemââ
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, âThis is why we use our walking feet.â we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, âyeah, okay, i shouldâve done that.â
Iâve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like âbehindâ and âcoming aroundâ as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; Iâm a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a âcoming with a knifeâ while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her âHello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alexâ
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying âis that for here or to go?â
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with âgladlyâ or âmy pleasureâ, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying âRobertâ I hollered âName and donor number!?â into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said, âokay, thatâll be $5.46!â I cheerfully responded, âDo you have a Borders rewards card?â
I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog âSirâ when I was mad at him.
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, âNot a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!â before realizing my mistake.
my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout âi can get the next person in line!â but instead of saying that she yelled âHI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITHâ to everyone in the general area
I have told my dog âno thank youâ so many times after working at a preschool
a couple of times iâve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyerâs cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like, âno⊠I have the bagsâ
Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.
i live for stories like these
No, but seriously, do you know how amazing Vincent Price is?
Not just as an actor, although he was a blast to watch in everything he did. Â Heâs one of those actors whoâs just clearly having a whale of a time, no matter how bad the film is. Â Heâs just genuinely happy to be there (it makes his villains a particular delight, and he played a LOT of them).
But did you know that he was also on the PFLAG board after his daughter came out to him? Â And that he was one of the earliest celebrities to speak out against the silence surrounding the AIDS epidemic?
Did you know that when his daughter came out to him, he admitted to her that it had been difficult for him during his first two marriages, because his wives had not been pleased to find out that their husband was just as interested in men as they were?
Thatâs right, kids, Vincent Price was BISEXUAL AS FUCK, and it was one of those open Hollywood secrets. Â And his wife Coral Browne? Â The one he grew old with and wrote cookbooks with and was basically ridiculously sweet with?
Also bisexual as fuck. Â They were the queer power couple of Hollywood in the 70s. Â His daughter, Victoria, grew up around Rock Hudson and members of the LGBT community. Â When she came out, Vincent Price became a board member of PFLAG and was just about the most accepting and awesome dad.
Did you know that Vincent Price played Oscar Wilde in a one-man play, and when it was denounced by anti-gay activist Anita Bryant, he dismissed her right back, saying that Oscar Wilde had already come up with a term for her: a Woman of No Importance? Â Because Vincent Price was deliciously witty and an awesome person.
Let me conclude with a quote from his daughter (from this article, where I got a lot of this information):
ââIn a funny way, and I think Iâm going to cry, he understood me at 22 better than I understood myself then,â Price concluded. âOf course, he was in his 70s and lived a hell of a lot longer than I had, and he understood that at the end of the day itâs about who and what and how we love. And I have not been a person who has been very successful at conventional relationships, but loving well and loving deeply has been the most important thing to me.ââ
Happy birthday, Vincent Price. Â You were a gem of an actor, and an even greater human being.
Iâm always delighted when Iâm watching a vintage movie and Vincent Price appears in even a minor role.
My mom used to work the front desk at a fancy hotel that celebrities would sometimes stay in. When asked about her interactions with celebrities, she always says Vincent Price was by far the nicest and was always super polite.
She says it was also hilarious sometimes because heâd call down to the front desk for something totally normal, like extra towels or something, but the poor guy couldnât help but sound sinister while doing it.Â
God I love him. What a hero.
THE MOST FRUSTRATING THING IN THE WORLD IS WHEN A CARTOON CHARACTER IS LOCKED IN A CELL OR CAGE OF SOME KIND AND THE BARS ARE LIKE
WALK IN BETWEEN
Actually, they point this out in the manga. She wiggles out out but her butt gets stuck in the bars, and she ends up talking to some nobodies through wiggling to help her.
wait I found it.
âcall out for the god of wealth, heâs never given me 300 silver coins because heâs meanâ âHipponax of Ephesos, sixth century BC
âhold my jacket iâm about to fight Boupalosâ âalso Hipponax of Ephesos
These arenât exaggerations
6th century BC Twitter
technology changes but humans never do
This gives me unnecessary amounts of anxiety
@rachielena
actually there is one more
listened to Bohemian Rhapsody today⊠iâm so very sorry
If this post gets 100 notes Iâll recreate the entire song through memes
OK so Iâll do my best to get this done soonishâit may be a week or two, but Iâm doing it
My masterpiece⊠is complete.
op did not put in this much work for 160 notes
Indiaâs Plastic Roads - WTF fun fact
âwe are dumping all this waste that will not biodegrade and will still be present intact in hundreds of yearsâ âwe also have these roads that degrade in less then twenty years and need frequent costly repairsâ âguess these two completely unrelated problems will never be solvedâ
WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR
zodiac signs as bill wurtz tweets
ARIES:
TAVROS:
GEMINI:
CANCER:
LEO:
VIRGO:
LIBRA:
SCORPIO:
SAGITTARIUS:
CAPRICORN:
AQUARIUS:
PIEXES:
Are we going to tell them that the spell Pisces wrong ????????
I canât believe no one has posted a clip of this yet. This is one of the funniest bits in the whole show.
guy who invented the piano: what if we laid a harp on its side and added hammers
musician: you clumsy oaf, you just knocked over my harp with your toolbox!
guy whoâs about to invent the piano: oh, havenât you heard?
how dare you take this mediocre shitpost and make it genuinely funny
Iâm super excited to play as Piranha Plant, but I canât help but think about how so many potential fighters lost to a plant đč
Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.
Florida Man: Chaotic evil. New York Man: Chaotic good.
Holy shit. Nah dude look up the entire story, itâs INSANE.
The dude got arrested once before this for using a painterâs extension rod to point the stoplight cameras into the sky instead of cutting the wires. He didnât cut the wires until AFTER he got out after being arrested the first timeâwhich he did after posting facebook videos that prove that the stoplights are intentionally rigged to trick drivers into citationsâthe yellow lights at intersections with cameras only last THREE SECONDS, as opposed to the five seconds they last at other stoplights without cameras in the same county.
When he cut the camera cords, he reported his deeds to the news -himself,- and then politicians pressured the local police force into arresting him. The local police and sheriff deputies actually SUPPORT him for his actions because the lights have been killing innocent people! During his most recent arrest, one of the Sheriffâs Deputies actually -offered to bail him out-. When he got home again after these incidents, there was a surveillance camera planted at his house BY THE GOVERNMENT to watch him! His reaction to being surveilled? He painted over the camera in Americaâs flat out fucking ballsiest âfuck youâ to the gubmint Iâve ever heard of. And it gets EVEN CRAZIER. After painting over the camera, suddenly this guyâhis name is Stephen Ruth by the wayâstarted GETTING ATTEMPTS ON HIS LIFE. He reports that a car intentionally tried to hit him in a head-on collision, and after talking about the car to his neighbors, they confirmed that the car in question (Or at least, one that was visibly identical, its occupants included) had been staking out his house! Somebody was legitimately trying to MURDER HIM over his discovery and his actions!
As a final insult to injury, Ruth pointed out that the VAST majority of the cameras were found SPECIFICALLY in lower-to-middle-class neighborhoods. As well, the victims of these rigged stoplights tried to go to the local news station to talk about the deaths of their family members that occurred from the rigging. Aaaand⊠The local station, âNews12âł, never aired their interviews. Remember how I said that, after cutting the cables and calling the local news station, Ruth was arrested because of pressure from politicians? Get this: News12 is actually owned by CableVision, who PROVIDES INTERNET SERVICE TO THE CAMERAS. Whereas mister Ruth was only trying to help people and save lives, heâs been caught up in a full-blown fucking government conspiracy thatâs out for his blood. This guy isnât Robin Hood, he makes Robin Hood look like a -CHUMP-.
Can we please make a superhero persona of this guy???
If someone isn't available during your most crucial time, then their presence any other time is useless.
This isnât realistic for adults. Iâm sorry itâs just not.
Donât fall into believing that, âif theyâre a true friend theyâll drop everything and run to be by your side!â crap.
As a responsible adult there will be times that your friends are hurting and you wonât be able to go to them.
There are times that you will have to go to work, or take your sick kid to the doctor, or do many other things that will prevent you from being there for your friend.
When your friend calls you and theyâre falling apart and itâs ten minutes until you have to leave for work, youâre not a bad friend for saying, âLook, I love you. Iâm sorry this is happening, but I have to go. Iâll call you back tonight when the kids are asleep.â Or âIâm so sorry this is happening. I love you and I want to be here for you but Iâve got to get to work. Iâll call and check on you during my lunch.â
Adult life is hectic and busy with important things all the time and unfortunately itâs also full of shitty things happening to people we love.
Do your best to be there for the people you love and ask for support when you need it but be understanding when being a responsible adult comes before helping you.
The idea that people need to be there any time you need them is really damaging and unhealthy, too. You canât place value on a person or a relationship based solely on whether or not theyâre available, no questions asked, whenever you need them.
In addition to the above: sometimes, someone simply does not have the energy to help. Maybe theyâre coming out of a rough patch themself, maybe they have been busy all day,maybe a chronic illness is flaring up. There are a myriad of reasons someone may not be able to be there.
Obviously, if someone is taking you for granted, and never seems to care how youâre doing, thatâs an issue. But to write someone off because their life and your life didnât line up quite right at a given point in time, or maybe even on more than one occasion, is not a healthy way to handle things.
From now on im tellin jobs I was General manager at Toys R Us. Who tf they gone call
Thatâs actually a wise move that many people do practice. Donât have enough job experience, but need it to get the job? Put yourself down as having had experience in a position in a company that is no longer in business, especially if it closed years ago. They literally have no way of verifying this (do not do this for chains wherein only the store closed, but not the chain). Itâs a good way to fluff up your resume, just make sure you put down a position wherein you used skills you already have.
For instance, you can say you were a Personal Assistant â typing, data entry, responding to emails, taking phone calls.Â
Or you were an entry level cashier/customer service worker. Retraining is simple at that point.
Need brief training on that, so that you can say you literally were trained?
All for free, just sign up with Alison. Takes 2 seconds to login with your google account, and then you can take some open courseware. Open University is another good place to go for good business acumen courses.
Typing
Microsoft Excel
Basics of Customer Service
Microsoft Word
Human Resources Basics
Business Writing
Basic Business Internet
Acting like a Manager
Project Management
Quality Assurance
Basic Hospitality
Risk Management
Effective Business Communication
Google Apps for Business
Food Safety
Seriously, Alison is amazing. Most courses are only around an hour or so long, and you can say you have some knowledge or some experience in these things⊠because you do.Â
