Discover Top Posts Tagged with #(((i... i'm really sorry... for everything last night..)))

Do you ever plan to make a comic of your story?

Yes!! That's my main plan once I figure out all the lore and worldbuilding and plan out the main plot beats :]

I'm not gonna promise it's going to come out soon because it isn't, the plot is very underbaked right now and I 100% need more characters. I'm missing lots of side characters but also important ones I haven't designed yet. I'm hopeful it will all come together eventually but yeah I can't tell you when it'll be ready to become a comic.

Being real it may very well never happen but I really want to commit to this project and make it happen. Telling this story is one of my biggest goals and dreams right now and I really want to do it right, so I'm taking my time and trying not to lose motivation or just procastinate forever.

#part of me is afraid this is all never going to come to anything #I'm mostly really anxious that I haven't taken the time to plan out the plot #I'm also worried about how the morality conflict I want to introduce will come off #like my goal is not to glorify or villainize the humans or the paranormal #it's just meant to be a really messy situation where humans are just doing what they have to to survive #but most of the paranormal are not evil or malicious either #I also don't want it to come off like I'm glorifying the regime of Eiko's country #like it is fucked up when it comes to the worship of the leader #but I also don't think it's completely bad bc it is doing a decent job at keeping ppl safe and that has always been its main goal #idk I just don't want ppl to think I'm like condoning everything it does it is meant to be kinda dystopic #sorry for the rant I think after my nightmare last night I'm particularly anxious about how my story would be perceived #if there were more eyes on it #edu yaps #ask blog #ask box #anon ask

Every time I think life is getting better, it throws a whole flipping curveball at me.

So if any of y'all noticed I've not been online at all, or I've been online less, (first off thank you for noticing) it's because I was set up for failure, failed, and got my computer taken away :(

It's a whole thing and I don't really wanna get into it but my mother now hates me because I struggle socially...

I feel like the crime was not that big but my brother says I deserve everything happening to me.

Anyways ignore that, just wanted to say that I'm not going to be online a whole lot, and if any of you who have my discord see this, please don't message me there either as that is also restricted at the moment and I don't want this situation to possibly get worse if it can. If you see me online, that's either my mom or me making sure no one she doesn't know about/my brother messaged me.

#nyx's rambles #sorry this keeps happening #and myna if you see this i'm sorry but the wedding will have to be delayed #i don't know how long this is going to last #but i don't think this one is going away any time soon #my brother is not helping at all #he's called me retarded at least 10 times #tw r slur #tw r word #my mother says i am an embarrassment and she refuses to speak to me unless i say something first #i don't wanna be at school but i don't wanna go home #life is a big dam mess right now and i think one of these days i'm going to start randomly crying at the smallest thing then at everything #and i won't be able to stop #oh and also i'm a complete and utter failure in my mom and brother's eyes #my mom hates me and she says she's wasted all her time on me and now she's finally given up and i flipping shows #my brother has called me things i don't really wanna repeat here or can't repeat here because language barriers #apparently i'm worthless useless and don't know how to do anything and i'm a weird kid who no one likes and is constantly screwing up becau #e i can't accomplish a damn thing!#that wasn't a conversation that was just him insulting me for 20 minutes straight #i don't care about him it's my mom #i am unfortunately a people pleaser #and i #hate #life #stupid freaking stupid event screwed everything up for me #actually had a breakdown in the bathroom last night and of course my brother was in my room when i got out since i can't have anything #cried myself to sleep. haven't done that in a hot minute #typing this out because i have a class and i need my computer for that so my mom gave it to me #anyways how are y'all #hope you're doing better than me

#alanwakeedit #alan wake #alan wake 2 #*#**#mk.op #mk.edit #otis_inf cam shots #reshade tools used #ok i'm REALLY happy with everything i got last night #sorry i like to see you suffer alan #mk.photo #virtual photography

I won't write this because I'm still in a rut and I have other things to catch up on, but fun AU idea: famous person x normal person AU, except the normal person lives under a rock and has no fucking clue who the famous one is

#the fact that I am finding little plot bunnies again (that i'll inevitably do nothing with) is a good sign!!!#I just hope that the actual words are on their way soon too.#but anyways maybe May's. like. a pokemon ranger who spends most of her time out with no cell connection #but she has to come into Lilycove or somewhere to restock and the Grand Festival happened a couple days ago #and yk. she's wandering the city and enjoying being back around people for a while and all that #and then there's some sort of meet-cute. maybe like Notting Hill. wandering (cough trespassing) in the park at night #and Drew's there because he gets privacy and May's there because she misses being out in nature or whatever #and they meet somehow and she thinks he looks vaguely familiar but she can't place it and doesn't really care #and Drew introduces himself. and he sort of stares for a minute. waiting for her to react.#and she knows she should know him but she doesn't so she bluffs like 'oh you're like a radio host or an author or something! right?'#Drew‚ newly crowned Top Coordinator in the city's Grand Festival two days ago: '...something like that‚ yeah'#and shenanigans ensue idk #she sees his face on a magazine the next day while she's out with fuckin. idk. Gary or whoever else would also be a ranger #and she sees it and is like 'oh hey that's the radio host I met in the woods last night :)'#and Gary's like 'I'm Sorry What. for multiple reasons let's back up there for a second'#and I chose Gary instead of Ash because we all know Ash wouldn't have any damn clue who Drew is either 😭#to me Ash is like one of those guys who can name every linebacker but thinks Jennifer Coolidge is a politician or something #he can tell you everything about every gym leader and pro battler and champion etc. he has also Seen Two Commercials™ for contests.#anyways. it's more of a vague premise than a plot but at least I'm back to 'imagining premises I'll never write'.#and that's better than how I've been doing with writing lately!#and like. earlier today I went to the farmer's market opening day in the rain and got brunch #and I gave myself a genuine day off (...mostly)#and IT TURNS OUT that when you're burnt out‚ taking breaks actually helps you feel better. who'd've thought!!!

I think I need that "Wow, I haven't stubbed my toe in five months! I was then shot fifty-seven times." Audio again

#i want to put him on my blog because i have a lot to say. and. by golly.is it just too much than anyone needs.#yet another character for me to completely RUIN their ego and make them so much more worse than they already are.#see but i just realized last night that putting him on my blog would mean making a tag for him. And that is goingnto take a lot from me-#-to be putting stupid little hearts next to his name.#i was thinking about just posting like two pictures of him and being like “im not saying anything i think yall can connect the dots.”#but. but.hhhhhrhrhrggrgyryrg.I want to come home and immediately indulge in garbage about him until i go to bed.#This is so messed up!! maybe. maybe I'm just being mind controlled into this.#I'd say sorry for another new guy but i mean I've been doing this the past several months and yall havent known me long enough that-#-it is unexpected so really i suppose yall are here for it.#Depending on how long till i get my first 'task' of the morning at work depends on whether I'll makebthe dumb post about him-#-this morning for everyone to wake up to or later today for everyone to anxiously read like they're reading the news while eating.#It is actually so so so so bad. and i domt know why. i do not understand. i cannot wrap my head around what about him is-#-hitting me so badly. what is making him click. this wasn't even a 'the dam gates got opened' and i had a burst and chilled out.#which i thought what was going to happen. this is. this is like a constant stream of a running waterfall. okay.#Normally talk about particular F/Os with particular people cause blah blah embarassment or they followed me-#-and interacted with me because of a particular character(s) that I like.#but i wan.gh. i want to.ffffffjhhgghhhghhhhhhhhhhhg.d.deep breath.#i want to. talk about him. wherever i can. i like. i want to taint every image there might be of myself to talk about him.#maybe the problem is im trying to find rhyme or reason where there is none. logic and feelings are often two different drivers.#trying to find a 'why' when there is no 'why' to begin with because that would insinuate a cause and effect scenario.#Which is a scientific process and critical thinking thought path. which is brain stuff.#and this is all heart stuff. stupid. stupid heart stuff.#good morniny everyone. wishing you all well on your marry ways.#I NEED TO STOP DEAWING HIM. I've drawn him like fifty freaking times already.#normally itt takes me ages to work up drawing him.#oh fuck it fuck everything im changing my discord pfp im posting about him im going to go need to go into confinement.#i might feel slifhtly different whem i get home but it's fine it's fine i domt need to be scared it's fine.#it's my blog it's my dumb little discord pfp. I've literslly rattled my mouth off to someone about him and they-#-were nothing but a dear about it it's. fine I'm just. grtting in my head about it all.

My big sister is so pretty and so nice to me. Sometimes I get frustrated because she's very pretty, and she can tell and then she puts my private parts in her mouth and licks and sucks on it until I feel better. And I was worried it was bad, because Mom told me not to ever let anyone touch me there, but sister says it's ok since we both like it and I don't have to tell Mom or anyone. It's just for us and I'm not hurting her and she's not hurting me. And sometimes she gets frustrated too and I get to do the same thing and it tastes nice and it's really fun. I'm really glad we get to have our own fun secret thing to do together. And then we watch TV and we hug each other and I feel safe. I love her. I'm glad she loves me.

#dorothy everything's fine #sorry. huge feelings moment last night that I had to write out.#I did in fact wish I had a big sister when I was little. not specifically for sex reasons but I felt very alone sometimes.#so while I am genuinely really scared it'll make interaction weird with my real life younger sister. this has been really healing for me.#I'm so grateful we have this.