#addiction issues

[lgbtq-archives]

𝐌𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐮𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚, 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐑𝐞𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐭

[ooc-miqojak]

“The Bloodsword Estate, if you would.” She passed the sealed letter off to a servant who would see the correspondence on its way - padding back to her room, to finish rolling a new batch of joints - fingers rubbing idly at one of her temples. (( @ourcollectivefantasy for the illustrious Aelberyn! ))

Aelberyn, I know that I have no place to ask anything of you, at this point - and yet I am. I’ve found, with time, that my issues aren’t the sort I should be trying to handle alone, and they only get worse when I try to. That said, I know you are knowledgeable on such matters, where I am not...and have a clearer head. I won’t ask you to be the one who works with me directly, as I know that’s an unfair request to make of you, but I would ask you...at least to meet with me over coffee, or tea, somewhere, to discuss these sensitive matters, and potentially offer advice, or guidance on who I can talk to, or what help I can seek. I didn’t listen, before. I was ashamed, and bitter, and unfair to you and the others around me. And if I’m being entirely honest with you, it wasn’t always the men I looked up to. When my estate needed me to step up in recent years, it was you I tried to emulate; and when I stop to ask myself if something is a good idea...well, it’s easy to ask myself what you’d advise in that moment. You had your shit together - and still do - and back then, I resented it. You always excelled, always shined bright in ways I could only dream of. I know I’ve apologized already, but I wanted to make that clear - I was unfair, and selfish, and...it’s not just that I want to change, anymore. It’s that I need to. I can’t afford to be selfish, or petty, and would appreciate any amount of time you might spare on my behalf And if not, I’ll understand. I trust your judgement more than the average priest, or priestess, is all. Thank you, Lily

[letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked]

Sooooo I just watched 6 Balloons (a movie about addiction)...

For anyone who doesnt know what it's like to have an addict in your family, this is a great movie. Honestly. You see every type of person, when it comes to having someone with an addiction in your family or coming into contact with an addict.

You see it all.

Especially in the sister.

The guilt, the lies, the panic attacks, the gut-wrenching feeling of not knowing how to help them, the unhelpful healthcare system, the terror that you feel when you know that they're going to eventually kill themselves, the sadness of realizing that your loved one is now a shell of who they used to be, the circle of enabling...

You just love your family member so much that you endure the harsh judgements of those who don't understand. You endure the people who force their opinions about addiction on you, telling you that your loved one is a piece of shit and a waste of space.

It feels impossible to let go of the person that you love with your entire heart.

This movie... it broke my fucking heart, because I've been there.

My little brother is an addict/alcoholic.

I've dealt with these feelings for years. I've dealt with lying to family members. I've dealt with the harsh opinions. I've dealt with the panic attacks, not sleeping, worrying, stuff getting stolen, covering up, guilt, and pain.

I've been there, having my little sister come into my room in a panic because my little brother is passed out on her bedroom floor, having multiple seizures... Having to check my brother's pulse, and pretending that my heart isn't about to BURST out of my chest in a blind panic because my brother's life is in danger... Having to sit on the phone with the 911 operator, counting his shallow breaths, and panicking when they start to get more shallow...

Having my brother start to seize in my backseat after my grandma's birthday party, and my mom CLIMB into the back seat in a panic while I'm going 75mph down a busy highway, just to race to the hospital... Have a friend of mine basically roll her eyes when I say he's in the hospital for the 3rd time...

Have only 1 person in your life who is there for you, but not wanting to bother them because you're terrified that they'll get annoyed with the cycle you're stuck in and leave you... watching my parents nearly divorce multiple times, because my dad blames us for my brother's addictions... watching my mom cry over and over and over, because she thought she was going to lose her baby boy to this...

Enabling my brother's addiction with alcohol because I was worried he would go somewhere else to get it and not come home... realizing that I was enabling my brother, and blaming myself for every moment I helped his addiction... watching my family start to crumble before my very eyes, and not know what to do to stop it...

Watching my brother struggle with himself, wanting to get clean so bad, but not having the strength yet...

I've seen my brother go to treatment, too. That was the first time my chest has felt lighter. My baby brother was safe. He was getting better. He wanted to get better. His fight (which is 10000x harder than anything I've fought with) was almost over.

I was so proud that he wanted to better himself, and I got a real glimpse of the baby brother that I remembered. The boy (now man) who loves video games, who loves root beer, who laughs at jokes, who wants to watch movies with us, who has color back in his cheeks...

...I've also seen him start to spiral back into the other side of himself. I've came home to empty beer cans everywhere. I've came home to my stuff stolen, again. I've seen him start to withdraw back into himself, and stop going to therapy...

I guess, what I'm trying to do with telling you about my family's story is... give you a glimpse. If you want to make a comment about your opinion on addiction, think first before you speak (as you should in any situation).

You dont know what the person (or anyone who can hear you) is going through.

(Also, Im sorry, but if you claim that someone deserves to die because of their addiction... I feel sorry for your lack of empathy towards those who are struggling, and hope you never have to deal with something as awful as addiction.)

(Movie spoiler ahead)

At the end of this movie, she lets go of her brother and tells him that she will no longer bring him to rehab, and he's gotta want to do it for himself.

I agree with her choice. Though I may not have cut ties with my brother (and I never will), you CANNOT make your loved one's life better. Only they can do it. They gotta want it.

I highly reccommend this movie.

[ohsosmutty]

I need an intervention.

Because my addiction to hot British/Welsh/Scottish/Irish guys is out. of. fucking. control.

seriously though. I have these boys to thank for making me feel slightly less dead inside:

also i guess i have a smoking fetish on top of everything else….

cash me outside….

[magictwick]

I want to drink so bad. idk what's kept me from behaving but fuck I want to daydrink alone and cry

[danielleurbansblog]

Meet This Author: Randi Lee Bowslaugh

Q: Tell us about your book, Goodbye Too Soon.  It is about my brother’s death by drug overdose. It starts when I receive the call about his death, having to tell my mother and help plan the funeral. It is raw, emotional and doesn’t hold back.  Q: What themes are discussed in your book? Beyond coping with the grief of losing a family member it delves into what makes addiction a mental health…

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[valleyviewresidentialllc]

The Road to Recovery with Dual Diagnosis Treatment

For families whose members suffer from mental health or addiction issues, we offer family therapy in Arizona.

Many individuals turn to substances such as drugs and alcohol as a form of self-medication for their mental health struggles. They may find temporary relief from the symptoms of their mental illness. However, as the effects of the substances wear off, they are compelled to use them again and again, creating a vicious cycle.

[grimboigio]

My addiction group therapy course has become the MOST fucking triggering experience like..... I go and the first half is usually okay but then the second half I'll get really anxious or feel alienated or alone bc everyone else has family or friends or whatever and then I'm like 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ may as well go home to my empty apartment and fucking drink even tho that's WHY!!!!! I'm!!!!!! In!!!!!! The!!!!! Stupid!!!!! Fucking!!!!!! Group!!!!! In!!!!! The!!!!! First!!!!!!!! Place!!!!!!