I'm glad they don't want to seek out or ask about their birth family.
So it's Christmas winter break. Thank God. First semester of college was hell. High school doesn't prep you for college. I've been at home sleeping and eating and catching up with old friends.
Recently, at church I heard something my mom said. She loves to talk to people. She told a woman at church my brother and I have no interest in our birth family, don't talk or think about them and we are happy with them. She thought since we're older and legally adults we would run off or seek out our birth family. She is relieved we haven't. She was worried for nothing. She said we're happy. If only my mom knew the truth. I basically went into the bathroom and cried. I don't talk about my birth family to anyone. Especially my parents. I do think about my birth family. I wonder what my birth dad looks like. Could he be the man in the store or sitting next to me? My birth mom, I secretly contacted her years ago behind my parents back. I haven't contacted her since. I might not talk about them or ask about them to my parents but I do think about birth parents. I think about my birth family. I do wonder about them. My mom feeling relieved I haven't asked or seek out my birth family makes me feel like crap. It's like she doesn't understand how I feel. What if I did run off? Would she even want me anymore? Would she turn me away? Would my parents be my parents? Would they be mad? I think they would be.
