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Feb 25

Kitten in the Kitchen

Victim: T/emprence B/rennan (B/ones)

Word count: 5.k

Time: Just early relationship au in genral (technicly I'm imagining like a diffrent post s6, but i havent acc seen that yet so... I'm jst having fun)

Type: F Sneezing (this is a sneeze-fic so don't read if you don't want)

Discription: B/ooth brings home a cat, and the pair spend the next few days wondering why T/empe is sneezing so much (Also includes a healthy amount of B/ooth trying to figure out if shes sick or not)

It was late when he heard the door click open, he was standing in the living room, in his sleep clothes and holding a surprise he hoped she liked. He watched as she moved into the room, pausing when she saw him holding the brown kitten.

“Why do you have a cat?” she asked, tilting her head as she slowly lowered her bag to the floor, confused.

“Because it needs a new owner and I thought that maybe you’d like to have one around” he said cautiously, hoping to appeal to her love for animals.

She smiled for a second, moving closer and watching the kitten manoeuvre around in his arms, before her brow furrowed. “Do we need to get anything?” she asked, obviously worried he had simply brought the cat home without doing anything for the creature, which, considering the voice that reminded him to do so sounded suspiciously like her, was fair.

He took her hand leading her to the kitchen. When they entered he immediately pointed to a pile of items he had placed on the floor, “I bought everything a cat might need, I even set up a litter box, and the little guy is house trained” he said, watching hopefully as Bones picked though the items he had bought.

“You have prepared ataquitly.” she said standing up and coming forward to pet the kitten in his arms. They stood there for a few minutes before he noticed Bones tense up. However, before he could ask she leaned to the side, “Hh’Ishhiew!” she sneezed into the cuff of her sleeve, head bobbing and the hand that had been petting the kitten hanging useless in the air.

“Bless you.” he said simply, watching her with a fond smile as she gathered herself.

“Excuse me,” she muttered, nodding to him as thanks and smiling apologetically at the kitten, who had startled at the sudden noise. He pet the poor thing, hoping to settle it down so it wouldn't scratch him. Despite his assurance to Bones earlier, he had yet to test if the kitten would bite.

“So… can we keep it?” he asked, holding the cat up and trying his best not to sound like an excited child as he finally asked the final question.

“Yes, but we will need to make sure somebody can take care of it when we're not here.” She said, arms crossed but still smiling slightly at the furball in his arms. He smiled at her, she was always the one to be thinking ahead, especially when it came to others.

“I’m sure Angela and Hodgins would be more than happy to Bones,” he said, trying to ease her worries, “Plus, who could say no to such an adorable little kitten.” he finished, talking in a voice far closer to a baby voice than he would ever acknowledge.

“Booth, that's a cat, not a kitten.” she stated, looking at him as if he was an idiot, which to be fair, compared to her, he definitely was.

“Ta-mae-toe Ta-mah-toe” he said, cradling the cat in his arms.

“I don't know what the m-meah-” she stopped mid sentence, bringing her hands to her face and bending at the waist “’Itchieww! Ishht!” she sniffled tentatively as she straightened, “’scuse me.” Her voice was quiet as she avoided his amused gaze.

"Gesundheit, Bones, Gesundheit.” he said, smiling at her confused expression as she looked up at him.

“You don't speak German…” she muttered, her eyebrows furrowed in that adorably confused expression he’s gotten used to every time somebody needs to explain an idiom to her.

He laughed lightly, shaking his head, “It’s just one of those things you say, Bones.” He answered shrugging. He smiled down at her as she contemplated for a moment before humming, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

Placing down the cat, he watched as it moved to the spot on the couch that used to be his but it had obviously claimed. When the cat had settled he turned back to his girlfriend, watching as she yawned, rubbing her eyes, it was cute, he decided.

“It’s late, do you want to go to bed?” he asked quietly.

“What kind of bed?” she asked, suddenly looking very awake as she smirked at him leaning forward.

“I was thinking one then the other.” he smirked, chuckling when she laughed lightly before taking his hand and leading him further into the apartment.

–

They both woke as his phone started ringing from the nightstand. He heard Bones mumble something incoherent as she tossed her arm over her face, blocking the light that was escaping through a gap in the curtains. He flipped up the duvet, sitting up and reaching for his phone on the bedside table.

Looking at the caller ID and noticing it was Rebecca he quickly answered. The conversation wasn't long by any means, but lasted far longer than he wanted, consisting of awkward small talk and some unwanted tension as they both confirmed dates.

He ended the call, looking over to his girlfriend to see her sitting up slightly. He studied her with a smile, her legs were crossed and she was leaning back on her arms, head tilted back. She was wearing sleep shorts as well as a tank-top that fit nicely around her frame. He admired her for a second before continuing his viewings. However as his gaze moved to her face he frowned, her eyes were glazed over, and her mouth hung slightly open.

“Hey Bones, you okay?” he asked, worried by her unusual behavior. At the sound of his voice she tilted her head to face him, her mouth moved as if to say something before her eyelids fluttered and her head snapped down.

“Heh’ESHEIW!” she sneezed openly down at herself, tilting herself slightly away from him to avoid spraying him. After a moment of shock at her sudden outburst he laughed at what he could see of her expression. Despite seeming to have more warning, it seems she was just as startled as him, reaching over to rub her shoulder he continued to laugh lightly.

“Ble-”

With a sudden intake of breath she jerked her body forward, freeing her hands to move up to cover her mouth and nose “Hh’ishiew! Hh’ishu!” When she stayed frozen in place he leaned forward, rubbing his girlfriends back as she breathed heavily into her cupped palms.

“Bless you.” he said gently, his eyebrows furrowed as he looked her over, smiling as she untensed at the sound of his voice.

“Thank you.” she said, uncrossing her legs and leaning back onto one arm as she used the other to rub her obviously itchy nose. He smiled down at her, her hair was slightly tousled, both by sleep and by her recent episode.

His admiration was broken by worry as her nose scrunched and she sniffled, the gesture seeming to do more harm than good as her nostrils flared. Her breath hitched and she solved the back of her hand against her burning sinuses, “Hishh! Ngxsh!” her head bobbed with each stifled sneeze and she sniffled thickly in the aftermath, letting out a small nasally groan before moving to climb out of bed.

“Where are you going?” he asked, confused and grabbing her wrist gently to stop her movement.

“I’m going to take a shower.” she answered, slight congestion edging her voice, her eyes twinkling as she seemed to get an idea, smiling at him before gently grabbing his hand, “would you like to join me?” she asked, tilting her head with a look he was becoming intimately familiar with in her eyes.

And yes, he very much would.

–

After the shower he had gotten dressed before leaving Bones to finish her morning routine. Moving through the kitchen he gathered the bowl and food he had bought for the cat, feeding her based on the instructions. He should probably ask Bones for something more detailed, she was definitely smarter than whoever wrote the package, he thought, placing water next to the feline.

A shuffling noise caused him to look up from where he was petting the cat as it ate. Its brown fur was soft and he had to admit he enjoyed how it purred under his touch. That reminded him, they should name the cat, and also find out what its gender is. “What do you think we should name the cat?” he asked absentmindedly, watching his girlfriend as she poured herself a bowl of cereal and sat at the counter.

In response she shrugged, returning to her cereal. Fair enough, the call had woken them well before their alarm. He moved to make his own breakfast, however, a noise from behind him stopped him in his tracks. The sniffling that had disappeared early on into their shower seemed to have returned.

Moving closer to where she sat he watched her with an undoubtedly worried experetion. Was she sick? She wasn't pale, but the sneezing and sniffling were definite signs of sickness. Deciding to test his theory, he leaned down, kissing her forehead. Straightening he was even more confused, no fever, he continued watching her until she finally looked up at him.

“What are you doing Booth?” she asked, glaring slightly, but he could tell she was mostly just confused.

Sighing, but letting his investigation drop, he smiled at her, “Nothing,” he said, using his hand to tilt her head up and kissing her gently as she opened her mouth, likely to give him a lecture on vagueness or whatever else he had done. He moved to deepen the kiss, but before he could he felt her sharp intake of breath and she snapped her head into her elbow.

“Heh’esheiw*! Hhh-! Hh’ishyeiw*!” she sneezed, her elbow covering the spray as she twisted as far away from him as possible while still sitting in her chair. He takes back what he said on letting his investigation drop.

–

Though Bones hadn't sneezed again between breakfast and heading off to work he had noticed that she seemed slightly congested as he drove her to the Jeffersonian. He left her be, simply dropping her off before making his way to the FBI.

His day was altogether uneventful, the best part of his day so far was getting to play with the still unnamed cat when he went to feed the thing about halfway into the afternoon. But, now at five and walking to Bones office he suspected that was about to change.

He knocked on the doorway to her office, smiling as her head snapped up from whatever paperwork she had been completing. She smiled up at him from where she sat behind her large desk.

“I’ll just be a few minutes, I'm almost done with the paper I'm working on.” she told him, before refocusing on the paper in front of herself. He stood in the doorway for a few moments before quickly growing bored, moving though the room he came up behind Bones’s desk, leaning over her.

“What’re you working on?” he asked, looking over her shoulder, placing his hand on the back of her chair to steady himself, as she leaned next to her.

Hearing her intake of breath he looked up from the papers he had been attempting to understand, only to find that instead of speaking she seemed to once again be trying not to sneeze. She met his eyes as her breath hitched, but even after a few moments she didn't sneeze. Her expression grew more frustrated as the seconds passed between them, her hands waiting in the air in front of her face.

Booth brought his hands up, gently moving her face up until her eyes met the light, this seemed to do the trick as her eyes squeezed shut and she bent forward, bringing her hands to cup her face and nearly smacking her face on the table as she bent at the waist “Hh’ITKSheiw!” she sneezed, lifting her head slightly and sniffling, her eyes still a little dazed.

Booth laughed lightly at the chain of events, smiling down at her, but the worried furrow remained in his brow. He moved his hand, resting the back of it on her forehead, but still no fever. “Hey, you finish your paperwork, I’ll be right back,” he said, patting her on the shoulder, not waiting for her reply before leaving her office and speed walking his way to Angela's, hoping she hadn't left yet.

Entering her office he was relieved to see her still there, packing up her things from today with Hodgins helping. “Hey!” he called from the doorway, causing both of them to look up.

“Hey Booth, are you here to pick up Bren?" Angela asked, smiling at him and standing from her place on the floor.

“Yep! I was just wondering if I could ask you, both of you, something?” at their dual nods he continued, “Did Bones seem sick to you today?”

They both turned to each other, Angela speaking when Hadgins shook his head, “Not as far as I could tell,” she said, tilting her head confused, “Why, do you think she's sick?” she asked, leaning forward.

“Well…” he paused, unsure how to phrase it, “she doesn't seem sick necessarily, but she also doesn't seem not sick,” he finished, unsure if he got his point across, but happy when they both nodded.

“I’ll watch her tomorrow and see if I can spot something," she said with Hodgins nodding along, clearly agreeing to do the same. With that he wished them good night and made his way back to Bones's room. Binding her in front of her desk and holding her bag, waiting for him.

He held out his hand, smiling as she took it before leading her out of the building. He listened quietly to her rambling about her work as they walked out of the building. They entered the parking lot just as Bones had finished her ramblings.

Climbing into the car he saw her looking at him expectantly, “Honestly Bones, even after all these years I have no Idea what you just said,” he laughed, watching her with a small smile as she pouted slightly. He glanced at her spot in the passenger seat - arms crossed and body angled towards the door - before starting the car and driving off.

After a few minutes of silence he turned to her, “You wanna order some Thai food as you're sulking?” He asked, grinning and glancing over at her. From the corner of his eye he saw her smiling at him clearly amused, before bringing out her phone.

–

Unlocking the door to the apartment he walked inside, breathing in deeply as he opened his arms and dramatically flopped onto the couch next to the cat. He heard bones laugh behind him as she put down her stuff. The cat cracked open an eye as he pet it, which once again reminded him, “We really need to name the cat Bones.” he said, looking over to where she was taking off her boots.

She hummed in reply, moving to where the cat sat and unceremoniously picking up its hind legs, holding it away from her as it struggled. He laughed as the cats scrambled for footing. After only a moment of observation she let the cat free, watching as it scampered off further into the apartment, “The cat is a girl.” his girlfriend stated, looking back at him with a proud smile.

He looked back, struggling not to grin as he raised a single eyebrow in her direction, “was that really necessary?” he asked questioningly, his tone a little too light to be truly serious.

“Yes, now we can figure out what to call her!” Bones answered, indigent but still smiling, and with a familiar determined look in her eyes that caused him to roll his own. Before he could say anything else he heard the doorbell ring, food!

He jumped off the couch, suddenly more energized than he had been in hours. Moving to the door he opened it, using the cash he had on hand to pay the delivery boy before taking the food back to the couch and setting it on the coffee table. Pulling the table closer, he met Bones’s eyes, she was staring at him with amusement and a small smile that fit her face beautifully.

Smiling back, he opened the bag and carefully removed the food, placing hers in front of her, before taking his and sitting down directly next to her, leaving only enough room so they could move their arms.

They talk some more about their days for a few minutes before eventually circling back to the name conversation, “What about Charlie?” Bones asked from beside him, sniffling and gesturing with her chopsticks as she spoke.

“I think we should name it something cool, like Nimbus” he leaned back against the couch as he spoke, moving his arm to fall above her shoulders, “I saw a dolphin called Nimbus once,” he mused

“What about Riley?" she continued, apparently deciding to ignore my suggestion altogether, placing her chopsticks down as she leaned back on his arm, keeping eye contact with him.

“She doesn't look like a Riley, not fully at least.” he mused, shaking his head The name didn’t quite fit the cat, if Bones insisted on giving it a more human sounding name it should fit the tiny brown cat, he thought, bringing his legs onto the couch so that he could better face her. This was probably why his food always gets cold, he mused.

Bones seemed to contemplate his judgement before nodding, it didn’t look like she agreed but he was happy she let it drop, “Is Milo a more fitting name?” she asked after a minute of silence, curious.

He was about to answer when he heard her sniffle a few times, scrunching her nose. She had been sniffling frequently ever since they got home, the sniffles coming faster and wetter as time went on. He had to admit she looked adorable when she got like this, however as soon as that thought crossed his mind so did a million more worried ones.

Sighing, he let it go, “I actually really Like Milo!” he said, smiling at her triumphant expression and wide grin. She brought one of her legs onto the couch moving her body to fully face him, leaning closer in her excitement, their faces almost touching as her eyes gleamed with pride.

Laughing lightly he moved his hand up, brushing some hair from her face, pausing when her nose scrunched again, mouth opening. They had both frozen, the sudden stillness only interrupted by her increasingly frantic hitchling breaths.

Finally her breath hitched fully and she snapped a hand up to cover her mouth and nose, “Hnkx! Hngx! HGXT’sheiw!” He held her shoulders, sopping her from falling as she jerked forward, stifling three rapid sneezes against her palm, though the last one escaped in a cute little exhale.

“Bless you Bones!” he laughed out incredulously, even as his worrying increased.

She moved her hands away from her and he held them, rubbing his thumb over them “Nohh- Nhhi-” her breath hitched and she sniffled wetly before it hitched again and the cycle repeated. He watched, slack jawed and slightly fascinated as her head slowly tiled up between breaths, only stopping when she met the overhead light, ripping her hands from his and snapping them to her face, doubling over and nearly slamming herself directly into his lap.

“Hit’KSHEIW!” The sneeze was harsh and grating. She had bobbed forward with the force, head hitting his leg as he watched her, shocked. He could see her blushing as she straightened, not moving her hands from her face.

He got up from the couch, moving to find the box of tissues he had seen in the bedroom. Entering, he found the newly named Milo laying in the middle of their bed, comfy. Frowning he picked up the cat, he still wasn't 100% sure just how trained Milo was yet. His thoughts snapped back to his task as he heard the kitchen sink start, as well as a distant sneeze.

Placing Milo underneath his arm he moved to the dresser, picking up the box of tissues and making his way to the kitchen, closing the door behind him.

Entering the room he found Bones drying her hands, still sniffling wetly. Handing her the tissue box she gave him a soft ‘thanks’ as he set down Milo, laughing as the cat ran past the two of them, exiting the kitchen.

He stepped towards Bones, pushing her hair out of her face as she attempted to clear her nose. However before she could finish, her breath hitched.

“’Isheiw!” The sneeze was much quieter than its earlier counterparts, however, just like them, it seemed to offer the woman no relief.

“Bless you,” he said softly, watching her closely as she groaned, replacing the used tissue with a fresh one and tightening again, this time without incident. She said nothing for a minute, throwing away the paper before moving back and placing her face in his neck. He heard her sniffle softly from her perch as he wrapped his arms around her, trying to give her as much comfort as he could.

Finally, after a few minutes of peaceful silence, she spoke up, “The food is going to get cold.” she stated in a tired mumble, the words even more muffled by her placement in his neck.

He laughed at that, taking her hand and leading her back to the couch. Sitting her down he let go for a moment, grabbing the tissue box as well as a waste basket from the kitchen. Placing them both next to her as she watched him with a smile, sitting with both of her legs on the couch.

“I love you.” she said suddenly, watching as he placed down the items, though it wasn't the first time he’d heard it it still made him grin like an idiot.

“Yeah?” he asked, tilting his head, moving and leaning forward over the back of the couch, eye to eye with his Bones.

“Yeah.” she stated with finality, nodding her head.

“Love you too, Bones.” he said, leaning further forward and kissing her on the head. She still didn't have a fever as far as he could tell, and if she did it was low-grade, however, if he was right, that wouldn't last long. He smiled down at her, studying what he could. Her eyes and nose were both rimmed with red - with her nose being slightly more so - and she was still sniffling intermittently.

Leaning down and giving her one more quick kiss, he moved around the couch, sitting directly next to her and pushing her food towards her - encouraging her to eat - before starting back up on his own. They finished eating through quiet conversation, only interrupted by Bones’s occasional sneezing fits.

She had fished her dinner a few minutes prior and he was just finishing the last of his food when her breath hitched once again. She was leaning on him and quickly turned away from him to stifle her sneezes against the cuff of her sleeve.

“Hntx! Hngx’t! Hn’tshu!”

He chuckled at her pattern, usually able to stifle the first two when she tried, but failing or giving up on the others. Placing down his near-empty container he reached out to rub between her shoulders. He was pleasantly surprised when, sniffling, she turned back to him and placed her face against his neck, her cold nose causing him to shiver slightly as he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer.

He was surprised when only moments after perching herself there, her breath hitched. She didn't seem to get much warning this time, tilting her head away slightly and only just barely able to move her palm up to cover the spray.

“H’mpkshh!” Muffling the sneeze against her palm, she looked up at him apologetically over her hand, before extracting herself from his grip to clean her hand and blow her nose again. He had done his best to not flinch, but he couldn't help but jump slightly as she sneezed practically in his ear.

Leaning forward and propping himself up on his elbows, he watched her carefully, smiling. When she turned back to him she still looked slightly apologetic, “Sorry.” she said simply, moving back to where he sat and leaning against him.

“It’s fine, Bones.” he said, placing his arm around her. Looking down at her he rubbed her arm gently, speaking after a few moments, “You wanna head to bed now?” he asked, if she was sick some rest would probably do her some good.

He took her hand when she nodded, picking up the waist basket and tucking the tissues under his arm, he led her to the bedroom as she smiled at him, amused.

Entering the room he placed the waist basket next to her side and placed the box on the bed, flopping next to it. She watched him for a few moments, rubbing a finger under her undoubtedly itchy nose before moving to the closet to put on her sleep clothes, tossing him his.

Once they were dressed and had finished what they needed to, she finally got into bed, sitting in front of where he leaned against the headboard. His breath quickened as they started a routine he had waited years for, kissing her gently. He deepened the action, interlocking their hands and pulling her closer, until she was straddling him.

After a minute she breaks away fully with a gasp, he catches a glimpse of a sudden itchy expression on her face before she ducks into his shoulder, hands still intertwined and not much time to think.

“Heh’ESHEIW” The burst of hot air startles him but before he can so much as laugh she quickly removes her hand from his and brings them both up, taking her head slightly away from his shoulder, but not having time for much else as she bobs into her cupped palms

“’Itshh! ‘Ishhu! h‘ip-skeiw!” The sneezes were itchy and relentless and seemed to grate against her throat, as she turned her head away, trying to catch her breath and coughing into her elbow. When she was done she moved off of him, sitting on the edge of the bed and reaching for the box that had been moved to his side table at some point.

“Sorry, thadt was disguding.” she apologised, face flushing and congestion blurring her consonants. He moved over to her as she blew her nose, wrapping his arms around her from behind as she finished, “bless you” he whispered, placing a gentle kiss on her open collar bone. He placed his head on her shoulder, letting her relax into him.

After a minute of peaceful silence, he moved, stealing her tissue, and earning himself a disgusted look, but he moved away before she could say anything. Turning around from throwing away the thing, he found her laying down, her legs dangling off the side of the bed as she kicked them slightly.

Moving to where she lay, he brushed the hair from her face, leaning down with a small smile, “Do you want to actually go to bed now?” he asked, smiling when she nodded, watching her intent interest as she moved to her side, tuning off the light and settling in.

He turned off his own lamp, moving over when she was settled in, hugging her from behind and letting himself inhale her intoxicating scent. He was almost asleep when he felt her breath hitch again.

“H’tschh! Hn’tschh-uh!” The half-stifled sneezes caused her to buckle slightly against him, and she breathed out a low breath as she settled back in. He leaned forward, whispering blessings in her ears as her breath evened out, his following soon after.

–

It was still dark when he woke and he didn't know what time it was. Propping himself up on his elbow he tried to wipe the grogginess from his eyes, before looking over at his girlfriend. She was sitting up, knees brought nearly to her chest, head bobbing forward as she stifled sneeze after sneeze, using one hand to pinch her nose shut and the other to cover.

He reached over to rub her back, “Hey, let them out” his voice was raspy from sleep, as he watched her finally let go, glancing at him once before tenting her hands over her mouth and nose as she inhaled sharply.

“Hh’sheiww! Hh’tsheiw! Hhi-! Hhi’TSHHYEIW! ’ISHHEIW!” she sneezed harshly, breathing hard in the aftermath. Completely exhausted she let her head fall to her knees, hands still steepled over her nose and mouth.

He patted her on the shoulder once before leaning over to the side table to pick up the box of tissues, handing her a few. Looking over his shoulder he noted the time - 2:46 - as she blew her nose a few times, coughing lightly into her arm as she finished. He was glad that the coughing wasn't harsh, as he half expected it to turn into a whole fit with how sick she seemed.

“Are you okay?” he asked, studying her. Her head was still resting on her knees, and she looked to the side at the sound of his voice, not moving her head from its perch but allowing him to see her face. He frowned sympathetically, her eyes were lined with red and her nose looked completely red and irritated, most of all she looked exhausted.

As the question finally seemed to register, she hummed before closing her eyes and laying back down. He watched her for a few moments before laying down next to her, letting her curl into him. He stayed awake for a few minutes until her breathing lightened and she fell asleep, finally letting him rest as well. He decided to worry about the rest in the morning

–

Thats the end of part 1 :)

I have already started on par two so hopfully I'll finish it at some point.

I had a lot of fun playing 'wheres the cat hair'

I usually see a lot of more instinct allergy fic's, but this one is more simmiler to my own where it only becomes of real notice when I've been with it for hours.

Also, tried my best on the sneeze spellings but a few of them might be off

Anyways, hope you enjoyed, and comment Ideas cause I still don't have an ending in mind :I

#sneezefic #female sneeze #alergies #b/ones #t/emprence b/rennan #snz kink #snzfucker #snzfic #snzblr

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