L: What's the weirdest AU you've ever come up with?
ok so I don’t know if this is the absolute weirdest one
(I’m sure I had an idea for one that involved Six running a strip club and the companions being the strippers/waitresses and the other Doctors being various family members some of whom were also involved in running other aspects of the club, but I think the less said about that one the better)
but ANYWAY this is one I really love that I definitely want to write one day:
ok so basically it’s a DW Mamma Mia AU
Jenny (as in, the Doctor’s daughter) is getting married
but she doesn’t know who her dad is, because she found the diary her mother (River) kept the year she got pregnant with Jenny, and it talks about three different guys
the three guys are, of course: Ten, Eleven, and Twelve
so, she invites them all to her wedding
she’s marrying Clara it’s my cute gay crack ship, let me have it
her best friends who are visiting and in on her plan are Rose and Martha, and Rose is so onboard with this plan of inviting the dads to the wedding while Martha, sensibly, is like “Jenny babe I love you but this is a bad idea”, but they do all have a good giggle about River’s colourful sexual past
meanwhile, River has been running her villa on this remote island, wanting to travel but not having the money
HER best friends, Donna and Missy, arrive, and they have a whole lot of fun and River worries a bit less about Jenny growing up so fast (imagine the three of them singing Dancing Queen in River’s bedroom like idiots, go on, it’s hilarious and adorable)
and then the potential dads arrive
Twelve is probably called Theodore, and he’s really surprised to see Missy there, because they’re old childhood friends and sweethearts. Missy is also trans, so that was back before her transition, but he’s obviously totally chill about her being a lady these days and is quite excited to see her
Eleven gets to be John Smith, he’s The One for River that she’s been quietly regretting letting walk away this whole time, and he’s never forgotten her either, but both of them try and play it Really Cool for most of the story
Ten is maybe called Jamie or something idk, and he and Rose are the age gap “does your mother know” couple that develop throughout the story, bc she’s like 19 and he’s like 40, but they’re adorable so it’s fine
oh boy, River’s FACE when they rock up, can you even imagine all the outrageous sex she’s remembering, she starts day drinking immediately, Donna tries to take the alcohol away while Missy encourages her and joins her bc oh boy she didn’t expect old Thete to turn up and
“ok River would it be weird if I tried to pull my old buddy who might be the father of your child” “not really this shit is already pretty weird” “ok cool thanks, you’re a real pal, sister”
Jenny realises that she’s fucked up because she really can’t tell which one is her dad, things go kind of sideways
Twelve and Clara know each other bc she used to be a student of his or something like that, or maybe she was a hitchhiker he picked up one time, idk, and anyway they’re like “well, this is an odd way to meet again, but hey”, Clara finds herself hoping that he’s Jenny’s dad because he would be the coolest dorkiest father in law even though she did also find him hot that one time so maybe it’s best if he isn’t, that could be weird
Eleven professes his love for River and admits to how bad he fucked up and how he knew he hurt her real bad when he fucked off 20 years back, but how he wants to make it up to her real bad
she’s spent the last 20 years trying to get over the whole emotional scarring from that, so she’s like “get fucked”
the three potential dads decide they don’t want to know who Jenny’s biological father is, because they all love her so much already that they agree that sharing the fatherhood would be more than enough
Jenny and Clara decide not to get married and instead to go travelling together
Eleven makes a big romantic gesture to show River that he’s serious about still being in love with her and she gives in bc goddamnit he’s always been The One That Got Away and they get married instead, rather spontaneously, and plan to go travelling together too
so they’re now giggly flirty newlyweds, Jenny gets three dads, Twissy get together, so do Ten and Rose, and EVERYONE LIVES HAPPILY EVER AFTER
I hopefully will, one day, write this dumb, ridiculous, adorable AU
seriously. imagine River, Donna, and Missy singing Dancing Queen together. come on. how fucking great is that.