Mar 14
No, you don't get it, your hyper-masculine buff character wants to wear little lace panties. I'm not making him do anything.
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No, you don't get it, your hyper-masculine buff character wants to wear little lace panties. I'm not making him do anything.
As the Anon who sent the “M-Preg 🫵” I formally apologise after James hit me over the head with a metal chair…I am going to the SDN nurse…oh also uh it’s Ralph…the Dispatcher in the cubical next to the water bubbler
oh, uh, how about you go do that and never set foot near hr ever again okay? okay
@totallynotabaconhair thanks man you're a real one
unable to sleep because im going crazy over how good fawx & stallion's robert kauzlaric's [REDACTED] voice is again
I’ve been thinking about if Harry Potter characters were American and what state they would be from, and these are the conclusions I’ve come to.
Harry - he’s Northern Illinois coded, just because I feel like the Dursley’s have a mean midwestern vibe, because northern Illinoisans are lowkey mean and nosy (I say this as someone from Chicago), and it’s really suburban enough to match with Surreys overall description (and by that I mean the Dursley’s are def from Naperville) + I feel like the Lily And Petunia were from Chicago so I feel like it isn’t too out there for Petunia to settle down with her mediocre husband somewhere nice. He tells people he’s from Chicago and gets clocked immediately by people actually from the city, where he then has to admit he’s from Naperville (which is embarrassing, and honestly real man I’m from the burbs too </3) + Dudley seems like the type to say he’s from south side and in a gang to people when he first meets them, but actually lives in a gated community.
Ron - Arizona, specifically Tucson. Red states are cheaper and I feel like financially it would be a smarter move for the Weasleys to live there - also the mental image of Fred and George cooking an egg on the sidewalk (intending to feed it to Ron) as them and their entire family turn lobster red in the summer is too good.
Hermione - Connecticut, I have no basis for places in Connecticut because I’ve never been, however its gorgeous in autumn and it’s gives Gilmore Girls vibes which i feel like Hermione based her personality off of for her first few years of elementary school (because, me too) also I feel like if we put her in a book/coffee shop alone with a Pinterest feed she’d post some absolute golden pictures to her Instagram.
Draco - So, I do think he’s still very European, and by that I mean he’s rich enough to visit his grandparents in France (where I’m just gonna say the Blacks are from and immigrated to the U.S right before Sirius, Regulus, Narcissa, Andromeda and Bellatrix went to Hogwarts - which for the sake of this AU would be in Salem, Massachusetts in place of Ilvermorny) but I do feel that he gives New Jersey vibes, like that’s where he was born and raised because the Malfoys are rich socialites who live in a Victorian era mansion - also because I feel like Draco with a New Jersey accent he desperately tries to hide because it’s a little bit too ‘by the shore’ to be socially acceptable by all his rich family friends is so cute.
The Black Family - French, but immigrated to New York - specifically The Hamptons. I feel like this is the obvious choice, also they’re unbearably rich and French so they think The Hamptons is mediocre. However, Walburga was absolutely horrified to find that the Malfoys were from JERSEY and that Narcissa decided it would be best to move with her new husband down there - prolong exposure to New Yorkers made the family pick up the hater attitude towards Jersey and Boston.
Remus - Washington, specifically Seattle, he loves the small coffee shops and Costco, but also refuses to whip out an umbrella when it rains because he feels like it shows weakness (even though he probably should because of his cane…) also he’s the one running the i5 Instagram account yelling at losers who can’t drive.
Peter - He’s from Boston. You just know he goes hard on St. Patrick’s day by making Corn Beef sandwiches and blasting Dropkick Murpheys (his great grandparents are Irish, so he’s your average ‘Irish American’) Wore a Celtics jersey when visiting Sirius at his apartment in Manhattan and was heckled. He has the thickest accent in the world, can’t pronounce his r’s whatsoever.
The Evan’s Family + Snape - already said it, but again I think she and Petunia are from Chicago, which also mean Severus would be from there as well - and I just feel like all together they’re from South Side because I feel like they’re all tough enough to withstand it like they were raised there - like Lily is such a powerful and strong witch that I feel like a background in south side makes sense, same thing with Snape, it fits with their background. Petunia will forever deny she’s from a struggling area, and is proud to live in the richest suburb with her white picket fence and perfect family.
James - as I said, he’s an LA boy who loves the beach and has a killer tan, but he’s really from Oxnard and lies because no one outside of Cali knows where that is, also it sounds cooler. He and Lily probably have debates on which city has the better Mexican food (The answer is Chicago), and he loves taking pictures outside the Barbie house in Santa Monica. He has a bad case of Valley Girl accent that he picked up through osmosis from Mary (who is actually from LA and isn’t a liar).
Anyway I’m too lazy to do the rest of the cast and marauders so here’s my little Americanization of Harry Potter because I find making British people mad entertaining.
GUYS I THINK I GOT IT PRETTY SPOT ON
watching Rivals and genuinely thirsting over everyone
this is how you market an f1 team