#anythingadvice

[anything-advice-blog]

Urgent: my period is three months late. I am sexually active, and a minor. I've used a condom every time I've had sex and I took a test at the beginning of October to see if I was pregnant and it was negative but I only took one, should I take more? I want to go to the doctor but my mom hasn't made my appointment yet and I don't know how to, I'm a minor. I don't think I'm pregnant, but even if I'm not, maybe there's serious health issues? I'm scared there's something wrong. Thanks in advance

Hello,

I’m assuming this is not normal for you if you are writing in (very irregular periods are the norm for some people), so yes I think you should see a doctor. I suspect that if you were two months pregnant in October, a pregnancy test would have come back positive. But you can get more reliable information from your doctor to make sure. If you really need to see someone quickly, you may be able to go to a Planned Parenthood or other walk in health clinic for a low cost, but you will need to research your options where you live. 

Ruling out pregnancy, there are a variety of factors that can influence your periods, from lifestyle factors (such as diet) to hormonal ones (you didn’t mention whether you are on birth control, but some hormonal versions can make periods lighter or disappear). Only your doctor can help you figure out what’s going on, so definitely keep on your mom to make that appointment. Or, find the doctor’s phone number online and call the officer yourself. The receptionist will make it easy to make an appointment. Tel them you would like an opening as soon as possible, and hopefully they’ll be able to get you in quickly. Good luck!

-Adelaide

[anything-advice-blog]

Do guys like chubby/baby faces?

There’s a saying that there’s a lid for every pot. There are guys out there that like almost every characteristic under the sun. So I would be willing to bet yes!

-Adelaide

[anything-advice-blog]

Hello! Thanks for answering. Long story short, my spouse messaged an ex of his and apparently told her that they he had not been talking to her because I was threatened by her. I'm not, and have no problem with a friendship between them; they had stopped talking as she once messaged before expressing she wanted to hang out with just he and our child, not me as well, which made me uncomfortable. Am I being unreasonable in being upset by this? What would be the best way to handle this situation?

Hello,

Yes, it would be completely reasonable for you to be upset by what he said. Your husband did not want to seem like the bad guy by telling this ex that her behavior is inappropriate (which it was). So he used you as an excuse and made you seem like the uncool one who was insecure. It also sends the wrong message to his ex- that he would have been fine seeing her without you, but it was just his wife (you) getting in the way. 

Have a conversation with your husband and say that if he continues to talk to this ex, it is not acceptable for him to use you as a scapegoat. To paint you as the buzzkill in this situation is disrespectful to you and a bit cowardly. He needs to take your side no matter what, and it needs to be clear to his ex that HE is the one drawing the boundaries. This is especially important because if the boundaries are his, it tells his ex that he is absolutely not interested in those boundaries being crossed. Good luck!

-Adelaide

[anything-advice-blog]

A submission

TIME SENSITIVE; I have to confirm my choices by august 28th at the latest. So I’ve just received my exams results and did really well but now I’m faced with a tough decision. I’ve been accepted by both queens university in Belfast and a Dublin university. When I applied to queens I was so excited to live far away from home and have a chance at being independent. But over the past year, my relationship with my boyfriend has developed into the best thing in my life. It’s so healthy and pure. He’s my best friend and I can’t imagine a future without him. I’ve always been told “don’t change your future for a boy” but I see this boy as my future so I’m really conflicted as to whether I should go live alone and be independent in queens or stay in Dublin, live at home and be with him. Any advice?

Hello,

Sorry we didn’t make your deadline, but I wanted to write back, and this might be useful to people in the same situation. I think you should try to live independently for a while and go to the university that filled you with excitement. Do you think you would resent it if you stayed in your hometown? I would imagine that you would wonder what your life would be like had you gone out on your own, at least a little bit. You are correct that as hard (agonizing!) as it feels in the moment, it is rarely a good idea to make major life decisions based on a boy, especially at this age. You are (or were) excited about this opportunity! I think you owe it to yourself to at least give it a shot.

Also, some people are more open to long distance relationships than others, but if it’s something that you both are open to, it seems to me like Dublin to Belfast, or vice versa is quite doable for holidays or long weekends. If you want to live your dream, but also give your relationship the best possible chance, this may bring you some comfort. The choice will ultimately have to be yours, so wherever you may land, best of luck at university this year! 

-Adelaide

[anything-advice-blog]

Dear Friend, I am entering my final year of university. I am constantly suffering from crippling anxiety about my future. I spent my first two years of university applying for internships and gaining work experience but, because of this, my academic grades have really suffered and now I don't have the required grades to get any job. I feel very lost and my self-worth is very low and I don't know if I'm good enough to do anything. Do you have any advice? Thank you.

Hello, 

It is great that you are already thinking about post-grad life with a year left to go- it gives you a lot of time to prepare and seek out options. I know you think your grades will not be able to get you a job, but your GPA is a tiny portion of who you are, and what employers look at. I’m not sure what field you will be entering, but for some jobs, the extent of their interest in your grades is putting your GPA on your resume. And if they do ask for your transcript, it is often just to confirm you are being truthful about where you went to school and your GPA.

So though it is great to have an impressive GPA, don’t feel like this will not get you a job. In interviews and on your resume, play up your internships and work experience. Since you still have a year left in school, use your university’s counseling services to get advice and feedback on your resume. Practice interview questions and situations, either with someone in your school’s career center, or a friend. Also, go to networking events that your university sets up, and use any other recruiting tools that your university offers to your advantage. These all help you build personal connections with recruiters, which can make you stand out as an applicant, and often mean a lot more to hirers than a good GPA.  

Job hunting is soul crushing, and breaks down almost everyone’s self worth. So do not feel like this is just something wrong with you. As easy as it can be to see the time running out, do your best to take a step back, take a deep breath, and assure yourself that you still have quite a lot of time to figure things out. Good luck!

-Adelaide

[anything-advice-blog]

hi there! i'm currently a yr 12 in new zealand and i'm looking to study abroad in america for college. But the thing is the decisions for whether or not you get in is sometime around march, and that's typically when our first semester for uni starts. Idk what to do, because if there is a chance I don't get in to the colleges that I apply to, i don't want to take a gap year over here. I was just wondering if you have any knowledge on the subject to help me out? - nixx

Hello, 

There are several types of college admissions schedules in the United States, and not all decisions are made in March. Schools that do rolling admissions are constantly taking applications and making decisions probably in the span of a few months. I applied to one school by rolling admissions. I don’t remember when exactly I submitted the application (sometime during the beginning of the school year) but I had the decision around Thanksgiving (end of November).

Some schools also do early action or early decision. Both usually give you an admissions decision around December, although they can choose to defer you to a second early decision group (giving answers in January) and/or the regular decision pool (that is, basically give you an “undecided” and make the final decision by the regular deadline in March). Early action is just giving you an answer that you’re accepted early, and you don’t have to give an answer until the normal final decision deadline in May. However, early decision is binding, so if you submit the application, and the school accepts you, you are expected to go there. You should do your best to make sure that the (if any) school you apply to early decision is a good fit for you and feasible financially. 

If none of this works out, or you don’t get a final “yes” by the time you have to start school in New Zealand, think about studying abroad in the United States or transferring after a year or two. I am less familiar with these processes, but you can do research on it if it seems to come to that. 

In short, you should research universities that interest you, and see what their admissions schedules are like- many american universities offer one or more of the options above. There are pros and cons to these choices, but this gives you an idea of what kind of timeline is available to you, and what options you should research further. Good luck!

-Adelaide

[anything-advice-blog]

I'm a university exchange student in the US. I hv problems making frds. I'm sticking with a few of my frds who went to the same university as mine back at home for now. Those frds are toxic, 1 of them is very unsupportive towards the lgbt+ community (I do not identify as straight). I'm struggling whether to join the lgbt club on campus for a supportive environment and to meet new frds . I am extremely shy and anxious, what if I don't get along. Lastly, you guys are amazing for what you do <3

Yes yes yes you should join the lgbt club! This is a great opportunity to make new friends. Generally, the more extroverted club members and those in leadership positions try to reach out to new members and help them to adjust to the group a bit, so hopefully there will be some kind people there who make the effort to make you feel welcome.

You could join other clubs as well. I would imagine there is some sort of club/support group/ counseling system that meets periodically for all of the students studying abroad in your university. This would be a chance to meet some people who are having a similar experience as you (trying to adjust to an entirely new environment and quite far from home). You could join other clubs dedicated to an activity or hobby you’re interested in. You can also make friends in class, perhaps studying or working on group projects together. 

Sometimes it can feel isolating trying to make friends in university when there are so many people pulled in so many different directions, but there are plenty of opportunities out there to meet people and plenty of people who are always looking for more friends! Good luck!

-Adelaide

[anything-advice-blog]

A submission

I live with my uncle and aunt and am doing my final year in high school and they are moving to Thailand and now the want me to choose between staying behind and Thailand and my uncle is opening a business company  so what should I do

Hello,

This could be a very big opportunity if it is something that interests you! You could experience new cultures and have a great, very rare experience. There are some things to take into consideration though before you make your decision. What are your plans after high school? If you plan to go to college, your year in Thailand might be a unique characteristic that would help you stand out on applications. But, do you already have some choices in mind where you’d like to apply? If you haven’t thought it out much, and plan to go to college in the United States, it may be a challenge for you to do any college visits or required interviews if you have to travel from Thailand. Also, do you have any important extracurriculars, such as sports or arts? If you are hoping to get a sports scholarship or something similar, it may be important for you to stay in a school where you’ve worked on your skills and have an opportunity to show off for recruiters.

This is a very personal decision that I can’t make for you. But overall, I would think the most important thing would be to look beyond your senior year into what your post high school plans are, and weigh the pros and cons to whether your year in Thailand would be a disruption holding you back, or a standout experience. Good luck!

-Adelaide