#aroace dating

[aspec-helpless-romantic]

I wish there was a dating app/site that focused on people on the aroace spectrum.

Like, not a full-on dating app.

Just somewhere where it'd be normal for me to come on and say "Hey, I'm demi-aroace, so I don't like you like that right away, but I'd love to meet new friends, and have a chance to develop deeper feelings while the other side is aware that it's a possibility and something I'm looking for!"

Somewhere for other aspec people to come to look for platonic/queer-platonic life partners.

Somewhere where it wouldn't be weird to look for purely platonic relationships with sex and relationships that are romantic but without the sexual aspect.

Somewhere where being open about being queer (with a focus on the aroace spectrum), being disabled, or any other thing that isn't "normal" and accepted in the typical dating pool, y'know?

Maybe we should all go back to making and being active in forums so it wouldn't be tied to someone having to work for hours to create a functional and marketable app :/

[neurodivergent-bard]

Some gentle reminders for the aroaces who date or want to try dating:

- Not dating until now is absolutely okay and valid

- You don't have to conform to the allosexual social standards in your relationship

- Your comfort and happiness as well as your partner's are the most important things in your relationship and will always come above the societal expectations and standards

- Starting to date in your 20s and figuring our that it's not for you in the end is absolutely valid and okay

- There is nothing wrong with you if you have to take things slow and if you're confused, you're valid in your experience

- Never put your safety and comfort below anything else

[thegrimdog13]

So guys I have a question. Like I know I’ve seen some aroace people that do date. But I just want like advice on this topic. Because I definitely think I am. Like I have no want for sex or even attraction the idea of being with someone in that way. But when it come to romantic relationships I’m often times completely uninterested and the idea of kissing on the lips specifically bothers me. Like anywhere else I’d be like oh I’d be okay kissing someone else there but them kissing me I’m not so sure about. It’s like my brain is only really fine with physical contact when I start it. Just to mention I have never had anything force upon me in any sexual way so I’m not so sure why. (Sorry if I worded that strange) But my point is that sometimes I have these moments where I’m like yes I want to date someone and the idea of hand holding or cuddling doesn’t bother me but kissing is kinda gross to me if I’m the one who is getting them (don’t take that in a weird way lol). But I’m just like wondering if this is like a common experience and like how I could deal with this. I mean maybe it’s just because the idea in media of dating or something but I just look at some relationships and say I want that.

[prettyboythings-blog]

I have a squish.

So half of my "city" doesn't have power while my side does. And I was able to tell a friend how I'm starting to develop a strong platonic crush on him but because he can't respond it's giving me so much anxiety. But I can't help listening to love songs.

Even though it's platonic.

Lmao idk I just wanted to share

[mycoconuts]

i don't think i can do this

so after almost 1 month of doing the dating app, i think i'm going to stop dating. i am far more aroace than i thought and dating feels like a chore. my goal was to go on three dates this year and I have surpassed my goal.

I met 5 people so far, and am chatting with another person who I think I could actually be pretty good friends with. But i honestly might drop the others.

i'm socially accommodating to a fault. everyone i went on a date with wanted a second date but i kinda felt exhausted by most of them. i no longer have the stamina to open new text threads with matches. on dates, conversations now feel exhausting. i have a habit of carrying a conversation. it might be an adhd thing where i just think just slightly faster than others and can keep the convo flowing at a steady clip, but it can be tiring to be "on" for so long. my last date yesterday, things were going fine, but i was checking the time around the hour mark just wanting to go home. I was encouraged by my first date but don't feel anything about the others I've met.

maybe it was the slight nerves of being on a first date ever and the adrenaline making it feel exciting. she was really charming and a great dancer. but by the second date, i noticed she talked about herself a lot and didn't ask me as many questions. she brought me gifts on the third date, but I was allergic to what she got me and it was awkward to be like, well thanks for this, you know I did say I don't really eat x on the first date but it's the? gesture? that counts? i don't see it working out if you don't remember really important/common things about my lifestyle.

the other dates have just felt like more work. --- I had a chill followup TV watching date with someone and I got the sense she wanted to cuddle and be physical but I was turned off from the idea completely and felt guilty about it, letting my pup sit in the middle so we could have a barrier.

i've been thinking about what it would be like to kiss and have sex with the people i've been on dates with and I honestly can't see it being appealing with any of them, even thought they're all relatively attractive people. my friends wanted to see pictures of my date and kept telling me how much they wanted to kiss her but i am me. and i am grossed out by fluids and mouths.

i've cuddled sorta with just friends before and i think i do like cuddling, but i don't like cuddling with any expectations that more physically intimate things will happen.

---

there's the dream, the fantasy, that i find someone and we fall into each others' lives naturally. but i don't think that is going to happen on an app. for me, it may never happen because i am becoming more certain that i can't fall in love. i'm not blind to the fact that relationships are work and about compromising for sure, but i honestly like being on my own. i like my life. compromising on that doesn't seem worth it at this point. so i think i'm just gonna leave it. i had a good run. good enough to figure out that this isn't for me.

[satisfied-ohyeah]

The many tales of Internet Dating

If 't be true thee findeth a cute wench and wish to giveth that lady a compliment, doth not calleth that lady mother a "mother I'd like to hath't amorous rite with" then sayeth because that lady mother is one yond the lady'll maketh one too, at which hour thy done with that lady.

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Ps: My Shakespearean is a bit rusty.