sibling things
summary: bruce-who-has-never-had-siblings meeting sibling dynamics between the kids and at times genuinely thinking they hate each other
you guys know how moms will be like STOP FIGHTING and you and your sibling are like…we weren’t fighting? yeah. that. inspo from all this and also growing up with pretty much all guys
never forget that Jesus loves you!!
if there was something bruce didn’t always get, it was sibling dynamics
partly because of being an only child, and partly because in his time growing up among gotham’s elite, he hadn’t always seen healthy sibling relationships
enter the kids
batsis joined the family a few years after dick
she had been hesitant to the whole lifestyle
on top of a new house and new future, a new family
she didn’t know how to feel about having a brother. dick didn’t know how to feel about having a sister
but once they got to know each other, they weren’t above teasing jabs. all of the time.
“You look like a horse that was just born.“
“Shut-shut up!”
She took another step in the heels and started to go down. Thankfully, Alfred was literally one step ahead and offered his arm to support her immediately. “Perhaps instead of such encouraging comments, Master Dick,” He interrupted. “You might make your time useful in reviewing the names and faces of who will be in attendance at the gala.”
The teen groaned. “But that’s so boring, Alfie.”
“And necessary. Get to it.”
He turned to do just that. But not before she stuck her tongue out at him.
A deep, tired, fatherly sigh followed from the man. “Miss…”
“But Alfred, he deserved it!”
“Alright, then.” He nodded at her foot placement. Sometimes it was just easier to move the conversation along. “Try again, this time a little slower. Remember that balancing your weight is key.”
“And not sticking your tongue out!”
She whipped her head around. “Dick-”
“That’s enough.”
A sigh left her and she went back to focusing on her task. “Okay, one step…”
”How’s gala prep going?”
“Fine.” Dick sighed, the binder of attendees now ignored and left on his chest as he turned to see Bruce at the doorway of the living room. “If Dumbo out there can figure out how to walk.” He smirked at the image. “You should see her, B. Tripping and-”
“That’s enough.”
The kid was taken aback by the sharp tone change. “What?”
“Leave her alone.” The man entered the room as so his words wouldn’t be heard by her and Alfred who were right outside. “This is her first gala. Her first anything to do with the Wayne name. And I’m sure she has a lot on her mind about it without having to deal with immature comments from you.”
“But B, I didn’t-”
“Stop.” He cut him off before turning to check on her progress. “And you owe her an apology.”
“Bruce.”
The man turned from where he was standing with Alfred to look at the girl, Dick at her side having just given the apology she was apparently due.
“It’s fine, really.” She looked back at Dick. “He was just messing around.”
Bruce didn’t get it. “He was rude to you.”
“He was just teasing,” she offered with a smile. “Besides, I have tougher skin than that.” Dick rolled his eyes.
“I…” The man cleared his throat. “…alright.”
Yeah, Bruce didn’t get it.
like i said. bruce hadn’t seen healthy sibling relationships
he’d only really heard of those who were competitive, always trying to outdo one another in being the golden boy of their family, no matter who got thrown under the bus
he didn’t know that teasing was just normal
but he would more and more as time went on
“Ow! Dick shoved me!”
“Master Dick, that is highly unacceptable.” The butler scolded. “You never lay a hand on a lady.”
“Where’s the lady?”
Smack.
“Ow!”
“Apologize,” Alfred ordered. Dick rubbed where the man had whacked him the back of his head.
“Sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
“Good,” Satisfied, he went on with his tasks. “And do keep your hands to yourselves.”
Only a few seconds passed before she burst into giggles, the moment undoubtedly playing in her head.
“You…” Dick started, but a smile grew at her contagious mirth. “You’re awful.”
She just laughed harder.
And Bruce who had seen the whole thing was flabbergasted.
so it continued. teasing and joking and out-of-pocket comments that were so uncalled for
about their clothing options, their love lives
but then they’d go to a gala and be in public and it was like nothing
“how well-behaved children!” a socialite once told bruce at a charity ball as she looked at them, smiling
and all bruce could see were the two kids who were yelling at each other the night before about who ate the other’s leftovers
“that was mine and you know it!”
“you weren’t gonna eat it anyway!”
“how do you know?”
“it had been there all week!”
“yes,” bruce smiled politely. “they’re wonderful.”
she had her arm linked with dick’s and laughed at something her friend said
posers.
and if you think things got better once jason came around, you’d be sorely mistaken
“I’m not getting you a burger.”
“Loser.”
She looked from her phone at the kid who sat across from her on the couch before giving a light scoff. She was too mature for those comments to get to her. “You’re the loser.”
“You are.”
“Says the one who’s grounded.”
“From being Robin.”
“Oh, I’m sorry,” her tone softened. “Would you like to get a burger?”
“Yes.”
“Then you shouldn’t.” She went back to her phone. “Grounding is supposed to be taking away things you like.”
Bruce almost chuckled from where he was seeing the whole exchange from the top of the stairs, unbeknownst to them. She hadn’t been kidding about having tough skin back then, and having a brother only made it more strong against annoying younger brothers.
Jason mumbled something under his breath.
“What was that?”
“Nothing.”
“Mhm.”
There was some silence until
“Dick would go get burgers.”
“Well Dick’s not here, is he?”
He huffed again while continuing to stare at the ceiling.
“At least I don’t have to spend three hours getting ready every day.”
She looked over at him. “That’s not even right, and so what if I care about being presentable?”
“Oh, my bad. Four hours.”
“That’s just because you splash some water on your face and call it a day.” Was the retort. “If even that.”
“Better than using hundreds of dollars of products and looking the same.”
She smiled. “So you’re saying I’m naturally pretty. Thanks!”
“N-no!” He argued, annoyed that he’d fallen for that. “And it doesn’t do anything for your ugly clothes!”
“Better than your dry curls.”
“Better than your smelly perfume.”
“Better than your sloppy cartwheels.”
“Better than…than your hyena laugh!”
“I do not-” She paused, the offense hanging in the room like the chandelier above them. “I do not have a hyena laugh!”
“You so do! When you were talking to that blondie at the last gala, you were laughing like everything he said was sooo funny!”
“I was just-”
“Wait.” A thought was forming in his mind. Bruce wondered what would possibly come next.
“You like himmm.”
Oh.
“I do not. We’re just friends.”
“You like Blondie, you like Blondieee.”
She grabbed the nearest throw pillow and did what its namesake was basically begging her to do. “Shut up!”
“You like Blond-”
“Shh! They’re gonna hear you!”
“YOU LIKE-”
“JASON.”
Bruce was pretty sure he knew the kid they were talking about and was certain she was telling the truth about no feelings being attached. But she threw another pillow harder and it landed like a punch, and Jason cackled, and he decided that maybe he should let it be.
After all, she wouldn’t get Jason a burger.
batsis definitely saw a lot of her annoying self in jason
he would do something so annoying and so frustrating that she’d be like “is this punishment for how i was with dick 😭”
batsis: dick are you telling him specific ways to annoy me because it’s literally IDENTICAL
dick: no?
batsis:
batsis: did i just give you ideas
dick: :)
oh also sibling code
he doesn’t get sibling code at first
he understands the whole “not telling the whole story” thing
when it comes to vigilante stuff
but within the family?
it’s like they’re ganging up on him
“What did he do?”
“Bruce, it’s not my place.”
“I’m not asking you-”
“Bruce.” She now sounded like she was asking. Asking him to get it. “I can’t tell you.”
Because I value his trust too much to choose your satisfaction of knowing what’s going on over it.
when they joined forces, dick and jason were insufferable
but that didn’t mean that she didn’t know how to bother them too
she would use her “only girl” card like it didn’t have a balance. wisely, of course.
because she knew that bruce and alfred would side with her immediately before their better judgement kicked in
batsis: ow! dick hit me!
bruce half-paying attention as he works on the batmobile: dick, don’t hit her.
dick who’s on the other side of the cave: I DIDN’T DO ANYTHING
later she’s like: jason stop making faces at me. bruce, he won’t stop!
bruce: jason.
jason: I LITERALLY DIDN’T DO ANYTHING
and then on days when they train and dick sees her after and he’s disgusting and sweaty he tries to hug her like nothing’s wrong
“EW! GET AWAY FROM ME!”
“what?”
“dick i’m so serious right now i just got my hair do-AH DON’T MESS IT UP!!”
and dick is actively trying to make it frizzy
also when it comes to sharing things they’re awful
batsis will be like “can i please have a bite :( ”referencing dick’s sandwich so he hands it to her and she just takes the biggest chomp out of it
“HEY HEY HEY GET YOUR OWN-”
and tim swipes her food from her plate
bruce has just come to accept it at this point
tim is terrible in his own way
he’ll lock her out of accounts, change passwords
and he’s the worst at spamming
“We’ve already confirmed the venue for this weekend.” The fellow event planner sat back in his seat and folded his arms as he still looked at the papers in front of him. “The Dewson Family accepted the invite, so we need to see where the best place for them would be.”
She nodded and reached for the seating chart and took the small paper slip that read Dewson. “They can go to Table 4. Near enough to the stage yet allows them to-”
Ding.
“Oh, sorry,” she mumbled to the room as she brought her phone out of her pocket. “Thought I had it on silent.” Even though Bruce was on the other side of the table, he could read the notification.
1 new message from Tim
But her ringer button was turned off. Hm.
She lowered the volume and put it to the side. “Anyways, yeah, Table 4 puts them near donors they know and closer to Table 8 where we have new guests-”
Ding.
“Sorry.” The volume was all the way up again. How…?
Ding.
Bruce wanted to sigh so badly.
3 new messages from Tim
“Do you need to take that, or…?”
“No, it should be-”
Ding.
Dingdingdingdingdingdingding-
“Yeah, let me take this.” She smiled at the rest of the Events team with the rehearsed Wayne grin she always knew when to sport as she rounded the table and exited the conference room, the only sound joining the incessant text chimes being the clacking of her heels. She doesn’t even bother to meet Bruce’s face but he could see it.
I cannot deal with this right now.
It took her mere seconds to dial.
“Hello?”
“What is it?” “I’m boredddd.”
Are you serious.
She now looked at the screen again.
37 messages.
All videos.
“Dude, I’m at work.”
“…and?”
And despite the frustration on her face that Bruce could see through the glass windows, they’d be talking that night like nothing happened as they worked on event details.
so yeah tim’s awful
spamming and hacking
he’ll pull that volume trolling all of the time to mess with the others
rude awakenings are also a huge thing in the manor
they’ll be in her room opening the blackout curtains talking about some “it’s a lovely day” when she literally was on her feet for over twelve hours the night before because there was a huge ball or wayne enterprise event
bruce has witnessed her if she doesn’t get enough sleep and it’s not pretty
he lets that becomes a them problem
or she’ll wake them up after a long patrol all happy and bubbly when they just want to sleep
you guys remember that ninjago scene where lloyd gets the FaceTime call and his dad is like eating food and is like “hello? what do you want?” and lloyd is like “…uh…you called me?”
yeah they do that to each other all of the time
and she loves annoying them on comms when they’re patrolling (when there’s nothing going on, ofc)
she’ll be like “guys on your left there’s something suspicious keep an eye out”
dick: there’s literally nothing there
batsis: in the trash can
tim: *opens it* there’s nothing
batsis: yes there is
dick: what?
batsis, trying not to laugh: two racoon-looking weirdos
dick: *realizes* oh my-tim get out of there!
bruce: *sighs*
and she just yaps all of the time
“welcome back to Recon Recaps, where we’re counting down the top ten acrobatic FAILS of nightwing’s career!”
“hey, where did you even get that footage??”
“i never reveal my sources- tim, i know you’re not laughing there, because after that we have robin’s top ten bo staff BLUNDERS!”
and part of bruce just wants to go home but he’s also secretly intrigued to know what the number 1s of the compilations are
a/n: i wrote the “where’s the lady” scene a while back and it keeps making me laugh so i’m glad i finally posted it 😂
