Time travel AU where after Thorin, Fili, and Kili are saved, Bilbo tells the company he went back in time and then Thorin is like “Wait so did I” and the Balin is like “Same here” and then even Bofur is like “You guys too?” And it turns out the entire company went back in time and they could have all been honest with each other from the beginning.
Pretty disappointed. Sat down for dinner today and 13 dwarves didn’t come in to interrupt my meal and offer me to join in an adventure with a promise of 1/14 share of all the gold in their kingdom…
*was going through my drafts and found this gem. apparently i wrote this last night but i have no recollection of doing so. hmmm... anyhoo enjoy me being dumb
wait so thought. if dwalin says by my beard when he first meets balin in the hobbit is that a common expression that dwarves use? if so what does kili say? by my bangs?
Not being from Middle Earth has brought you some amazing moments, but this should’ve been expected.
You knew going into Mirkwood after Gandalf’s warnings was a horrible idea, but for some reason you didn’t think to stay behind.
First everyone went nuts, yourself included (you could barely remember your own name at some points, it was ridiculous). Then there were the spiders, thankfully you got to avoid being webbed up by those disgusting arachnids but you got lost on your way to help.
By some luck you found everyone while they were attempting to leave their confines of the webbing, but then the spiders came back so your luck didn’t feel so good anymore.
You guys kill a bunch, Kili gets separated… oh, and there is also the elves who are speaking in their own tongue.
The blond elf who appeared to be the leader of this merry group of losers was talking about one of the swords you all acquired after everyone was searched (the only thing they found on you was a small weapon and your backpack from home, also a smack to the hand that was frisking you) when he noticed you.
The male elf mouthing off to Thorin stops his little liar thief speech abruptly though when his eyes fall on you and your strange clothes and weird colorful backpack held by the elf who searched you.
“You. Come here.“
Uh oh.
Simply staring at him dumbly for a few moments, you turn your head from side to side and then point at yourself. “M-Me?”
He nods his head once, annoyance and a trace of amusement showing on his face. You twiddle your thumbs together and shrug your shoulders, taking a step forward only for a large hand to pull you back, “What do you want with her, pointy eared freak!” Hisses Dwalin next to you
The elf says nothing and continues to stare you down.
Everyone is looking between the two of you at this point, and you begin to feel that all to familiar mixture of anxiousness and awkwardness creeping up on you. “Um… I’d rather not…”
He still stares, as if he’s looking into your very soul. “I will not repeat myself.” Now he just looks annoyed.
You huff indignantly and shake Dwalin’s hand off your shoulder, “Fine! Whatever.”
You shuffle over awkwardly, ignoring the protesting of some of the others as you go to stand next to Thorin and in front of him.
His intense blue eyes drill holes into you as he sizes you up, “An odd human girl with 13 dwarves. Clothes I’ve never seen before and a bag that is otherworldly. Interesting.” You do your best to hold his gaze, keeping your face as blank as possible.
“That isn’t any of your concern.” Thorin states next to you, but the elf still doesn’t turn his leer from you.
So what do you do?
What you do best.
“Is that a dagger in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?” Your expression doesn’t change as you say this, face remaining neutral as he falters.
Ding ding, Y/N 1, this guy 0.
“Excuse me?” He looks to be shocked by what you say, but you only shrug your shoulders as some of the others behind you laugh.
But your witty victory is short lived because now everyone is being hauled off to some elf kingdom where you’re sure Santa must live.
When you go to rejoin the others though, the blond elf puts a hand on your shoulder and states in a demanding tone, “You stay with me.”
Thorin turns quickly upon hearing that, “Leave her be, elf! She is one of us, and she will remain by our sides.” Some of the others shout their agreement.
The elf doesn’t listen.
And thats how you end up trailing behind the tall elf right in front of you while some of the others (Thorin, Fili, Dwalin, some others) look back to make sure you’re still there from time to time.
It warms your little ole heart! If only you weren’t all being led to imprisonment that is.
When the elf palace (you aren’t quite sure what else to call it) comes into view, it takes your breath away. Yeah, these guys are kinda assholes, but the architecture is astounding!
You couldn’t keep the awe from showing on your face, and when the elf glances back at you he chuckles. “Never seen an elvish structure before?”
You saw Rivendell which was also lovely, but they’re both beautiful in their own ways you suppose.
Yeah this guy is the enemy, but you just can’t keep yourself from mumbling how stunning it all is. He laughs again, seemingly a bit more friendly towards you than your dwarven companions, and continued on his way.
Upon entering the structure, you find that the outside is not nearly as awe-inspiring as the inside though.
The twisting trees and twinkling lights inside mesmerize you. It’s so grand, you almost forget that these elves are basically abducting you from your company by keeping you separated so far from them.
Your eyes fall upon the red-headed elf who helped out Kili, and your mouth runs before you can stop it. “Woah, shes freaking gorgeous."
At your sudden speech the blond male elf guy looks down at you with confusion, his eyebrows knitted together. "What?"
"Er, your friend over there is really pretty.” You restate, looking away as a flush darkens your face.
He doesn’t get a chance to say anything else before said she-eld falls into step with you and the blond.
She says something in that Elvish language of theirs and looks down at you, and once again you speak before thinking.
“Excuse me, do you have a map? Because I’m afraid I’ve gotten lost in your eyes.” It’s cheesy where you’re from, but here you’re a damn poetic genius.
Her face tints red at your words and she looks up at the blond guy briefly before looking at you again, “I-I’m sorry?"
"Oh, forgive me that was so forward. I just can’t help myself around someone so lovely.” Yeah, you’re laying it on thick, and it seems to be working in your favor pretty well cause she’s blushing and- oh, is that flattery you see?
“I don’t think I’ve ever been addressed in such a way…” She states breathlessly, looking at Mr. Blond again.
“How is that possible? My dear you have got to be the most beautiful-"
"Y/N!” Thorin states sharply, looking at you completely baffled (and he’s not the only one).
A pout comes to your face at the one word scolding, but you get the hint. “Man… Freaking Thorin…"
You look straight ahead and ignore the glares and confusion from your friends, crossing your arms over your chest as you continue to walk along silently.
"What a cute little thing.” She comments after a moment of observing your sulky form, reaching down to ruffle your hair. And, embarrassingly enough, you find yourself leaning into her touch slightly.
Hell yeah, this bitch is in. Maybe too much…
Yeah she actually is drop dead gorgeous, but you’ve gotta get these fools trust so you can crush them later. It’s essential to your 45 step escape plan.
“Me?” You ask, actually feeling a bit nervous to be getting as good as you gave. “C-Cute?"
There’s no time to answer verbally, because suddenly they split the group into Thorin, and everyone else, but you can see from their faces that it was meant to be taken seriously. You remain standing with the elves, a bit shy and confused as to why you haven’t been led to the others yet.
Some of them give you looks of concern, but you only flash bright smiles each time you make eye contact with someone. You can tell a few of them are annoyed with your lack of fear for the situation, but you hold onto the hope that Thorin will use his brain.
You break away from the elves and begin to follow after where the majority of the group is headed, but a firm hand landing on your shoulder stops you in place.
Glancing up at the blond elf, he only shakes his head, "You will go with him”, he nods his head over to Thorin.
The confusion shows clearly on your face, but you listen regardless and change your course as you join the leader of the group.
When you step up beside him, he looks at you with deep set confusion, “Why are you not with the others?"
All you do is shrug in response.
And then the two of you are being brought before the king.
At least that’s what the blond elf said because all you see is a woman on a chair-
Oh, wait. No, no, that is the King.
Turns out, you’re quite the jokester because you make yourself laugh with this line of thinking which earns you a sharp look from Thorin and two pairs of confused elf eyes on you.
You clamp your mouth shut and shrug your shoulders again, and then you and Thorin are being left with the elf king.
When he gets up from his chair you’re shocked by how tall he is. Even the other elf who was bossing you around doesn’t reach the height that he does.
When he begins to talk to Thorin about things you care little for, your gaze wanders away to view the lovely scene before you. The structure of this place is simply amazing. There is nothing like this from your home, all you had were huge neighborhoods, strip malls, and google images that provided you with things not even half as pretty as this.
While you gaze around someone clears their throat which effectively breaks you out of your little trance.
You turn your attention back towards Thorin and the large (and very pretty) elf quee-king.
Much to your dismay they’re both staring at you expectantly.
You blink your eyes a few times and stare dumbly as you rack your brain for any clue as to what just occurred, but you only draw a blank. "Um… ‘sup?” Thats all you could come up with? Really?
You mentally berate yourself for not paying attention, but it only seems to amuse the blond guy. “Interesting. You are not from here, are you?” He asks curiously. Thorin’s expression is sharp, and your eyes lock on him for a moment because you don’t know how much to reveal.
He shakes his head.
“Well obviously not. I’m a human. Have you not seen my ears? Or my height? Or anything?” Your sarcasm earns a snort of amusement from Thorin, but it seems that the king only found your sarcasm funny as well.
“You know what I mean. And the look you two shared only answers my question for me.”
You release a long and over dramatic sigh, crossing your arms over your chest. “Well.. It’s not your business where I’m from. So stop being lame and let us leave."
He stopped listening though and turned back to Thorin, "Where did you find such a person? Because I can most definitely tell that she is not from Middle Earth.”
Thorin only turns his head away and responds to something else probably stated while you were busy. He starts ranting about abandonment and how he wasn’t helped. He yells something in one of their languages, and then Thranduil is all up in his face.
“Do not talk to me of dragon fire! I know… its wrath and ruin.” The king makes a weird face and you find yourself become uncomfortable as his face warps and reveals horribly scarred skin.
“I have faced… the great serpents of the North.” He then steps back and stops leaning over as his skin quickly returns to normal. “I warned your grandfather of what his greed would summon. But he would not listen. You are just like him.”
Two guards seize him suddenly and you protest loudly, “Hey! Leave him alone!” You only get ignored.
“Stay here if you will… and rot.” They start dragging him down the stairs and you move to follow after, but the booming voice of King Thranduil stops you. “Not you. You stay where you are."
Thorin yells at him in his tongue, then yells out in an outrage, "She comes with me!” He only gets hauled further away as you look between him and the blond elf who is standing at the steps to his throne.
You take a few steps forward towards where Thorin is being dragged off to, but your arm is grabbed and yanked back towards him harshly.
The king under the mountain continues to rage on until he disappears out of your sight, the hand on your arm not releasing you even after he is gone.
You turn a glare up at the king and snatch your arm away, “What do you want? I have nothing to say to you!”
He only smooths his robes back down and steps away. "You and I have much to discuss…“
Thorin regains his composure long before he reaches the dungeon down below, not wanting to alert his company of his obvious distress. Though he does brood more than usual and the constant scowl on his features immediately worries those looking upon him.
"Where’s Y/N?” Is the first thing he hears after he’s shoved into his own cell. He looks over towards the area the question came from and sees Kili standing there with his hands on the bars.
“That pointy eared pixie wouldn’t let her come here with me.”
Someone exclaims their anger loudly in a cell not far from his, but he only continues. “That elvish garbage refused to let her come with me, and when she tried to follow he grabbed her arm as if he had any right-!” He cuts himself off and sits down, hands clenched into fists as he thinks about it.
The others yell out their own anger at that, and then Ori speaks up softly, “What does he want with ‘er? She’s only a human…"
Balin speaks up next, "Does he want to know about where she’s from…? Perhaps that be the reason right there! She speaks oddly and her clothes are suspicious”
Nobody wanted to even think about that. If you refused to give them the answers they wanted, what would they do?
Everyone is undoubtedly sharing the same dark and worrying thoughts.
