“i can’t fall in love… with you”
“i can’t fall in love… with you”
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“i can’t fall in love… with you”
“i can’t fall in love… with you”
me & this album against the world.
(I put this in a reblog but realized I wanted it as a standalone post too so that's what this is lol) (I swear I know how to use Tumblr help)
@oatoast your post was what introduced me to Bittersuite lol
I've been anxiously awaiting the next Smiling Friends episode so I decided to look into it and got inspired to draw some fanart of my own😂😎
@sunnyguns56 absolutely adore your fic omgg I wanna hug them so baddd
BITTERSUITE
Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Unfulfilled love, little angst
Word count: 1.0k
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In the dim light of the New York City skyline, Tara Carpenter sat alone on her apartment balcony, her thoughts tangled in a web of emotions she couldn't quite shake off. The city buzzed with life below, but up here, it was just her, the stars, and the quiet torment of unspoken feelings. She clutched her phone, the message drafts untouched, each one a silent confession she could never send.
Tara’s mind wandered back to the first time she had met Y/n. It was at a friend’s party, one of those casual gatherings where everyone was a stranger until they weren't. Y/n had been standing by the foyer, a radiant smile on her face, a lightness about her that drew Tara in like a moth to a flame. They had talked for hours that night, sharing stories and dreams, laughing until their sides hurt. Tara felt a connection she hadn’t felt in years, a spark that scared her with its intensity.
As weeks turned into months, their friendship blossomed into something deeper. They spent almost every day together, exploring the city, sharing their favorite spots, and staying up late into the night talking about everything and nothing. Y/n was kind, genuine, and had a way of making Tara feel seen and understood in a way no one else ever had. Tara's heart ached with the desire to be more than friends, but she kept those feelings locked away, terrified of ruining what they had.
One night, while lying in bed, Tara had a dream so vivid it felt more like a memory. She was standing in her apartment's foyer, and there was Y/n, kneeling before her, eyes filled with the same longing that mirrored her own. Tara had watched the scene unfold from above, an out-of-body experience that left her breathless. The dream was a haunting reminder of the love she craved but could never have.
The truth was, Tara couldn't fall in love with Y/n. She had been overseas, chasing dreams and leaving behind a trail of broken hearts. She knew the pain of unfulfilled promises, the weight of expectations that could never be met. Tara didn’t want to be another source of heartache for Y/n, didn’t want to risk their friendship on the fragile hope of something more. She had to be careful, had to watch what she said, and more importantly, what she did.
Tara sighed, looking out at the city lights. “God, I hope it all goes away,” she whispered to the night, a silent prayer for her feelings to dissipate, for the ache in her heart to subside. But even as she said it, she knew the truth: no matter how badly she wanted to, she couldn’t fall in love with Y/n. The stakes were too high, the risk too great. She would rather suffer in silence than lose Y/n altogether.
That evening, Y/n knocked on Tara's door, her smile as bright as ever. Tara opened the door, her heart skipping a beat at the sight of her. “Hey,” Y/n greeted, stepping inside. “I brought us some wine. Thought we could have a chill night in.”
Tara smiled, though it felt forced. “That sounds perfect.”
They settled on the couch, glasses of wine in hand, a movie playing in the background. But Tara’s mind was elsewhere, lost in the swirling sea of her emotions. She couldn’t focus on the movie, couldn’t even enjoy Y/n’s company the way she used to. Her heart was too heavy, her thoughts too loud.
“Hey, are you okay?” Y/n asked, her brow furrowed with concern. “You’ve been really quiet tonight.”
Tara forced a smile, shaking her head. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired, I guess.”
Y/n didn’t look convinced but didn’t press further. They sat in comfortable silence for a while, the city lights casting a soft glow through the windows.
Finally, unable to keep it in any longer, Tara turned to Y/n, her eyes filled with unshed tears. “Y/n, there’s something I need to tell you.”
Y/n’s expression shifted to one of worry. “What is it?”
Tara took a deep breath, her heart pounding in her chest. “I… I can’t fall in love with you.”
The room fell silent, the words hanging heavy in the air. Y/n looked at Tara, confusion and hurt etched on her face. “What do you mean?”
Tara struggled to find the right words. “I’ve been overseas, chasing dreams, running from things. I’ve seen how fragile love can be, how easily it can break. I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to risk what we have for something that might not work out.”
Y/n’s eyes filled with tears, her voice barely above a whisper. “Tara, I…”
Tara cut her off, unable to bear the pain in Y/n’s eyes. “Please, don’t say it. I know you might feel the same way, but I can’t. I can’t do this to you, to us.”
Y/n reached out, taking Tara’s hand in hers. “But what if we’re missing out on something beautiful?”
Tara’s heart broke at the softness in Y/n’s voice, the hope that lingered despite the pain. She wanted to say yes, to take the risk, but the fear was too strong. “I’m sorry, Y/n. I just can’t.”
Y/n nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Okay. I understand.”
They sat in silence, the weight of unspoken words and unfulfilled dreams pressing down on them. Tara knew she had made the right decision, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. She squeezed Y/n’s hand, a silent promise that their friendship would endure, even if it meant suppressing the love that burned within her.
As the night wore on, they stayed there, side by side, two hearts aching in unison. The city lights continued to shimmer, oblivious to the silent heartbreak happening within that small apartment. Tara looked at Y/n, her heart filled with a bittersweet mix of love and regret, knowing that some things were just too precious to risk, even if it meant living with the pain of what could have been.
In the quiet moments that followed, Tara whispered to herself, a mantra to keep her grounded. “I can’t fall in love with you, no matter how bad I want to.” And as the words settled into the night, she hoped that, one day, the ache would fade, and she could look at Y/n without the weight of unspoken love hanging between them.
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BITTERSUITE - PREVIEW
Ellie Williams x ExGf!Reader
preview for my upcoming fic " BITTERSUITE " ,, based on Billie Eilish's new album / songs.
" , but I gotta be careful ,"
She was standing at my door. Her entire body was shaking and soaking wet, and she looked at me with an expression of sadness. I looked back at her, my heart breaking at the sight of Ellie standing at my doorstep once again, like she had been earlier this morning. I swore to myself I'd never see her again in this position, her most vulnerable and my most sensitive. Her green eyes meeting my blue ones. I couldn't believe I was letting her in. I just gotta be careful..
" ... gotta watch what I say... "
Her sombre eyes watched as I brought her over a towel. She took it in her hands and said a quiet thank you before throwing it over herself. I sat in front of her, my eyes piercing into her own. She was shivering violently and avoiding all forms of communication between us. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. All I was left with was air. She shifted her weight from side to side as she tried to make herself warmer. Her hands were clasped together in a ball, her fingers crossed over one another.
" Do you want a hot chocolate?"
" God, I hope it all goes away.. "
I placed the mug on the coffee table in front of her. She nodded and picked it up, her hands immediately wrapping around the ceramic. She blew on it a few times and smiled down at the liquid contents before drinking some. I continued to look at her. I realised she wasn't wearing the outfit I saw her in this morning. Her t-shirt was ripped and fraying at all sides, the soles of her shoes were breaking apart, and her jeans had even bigger holes in them. I studied her face as she drank the beverage, her eyes all bloodshot from what looked like crying. The thunder struck from outside the house, and she violently jerked, her face striken with fear. I looked outside, watching the trees sway from side to side in the wind.
"God I hope it all goes away, huh?"
I said to her, turning away from the window and to her curled up figure. She nodded and cleared her throat, giving me the cup.
"Yeah I hope so."
" 'Cause I can't fall in love with you.. "
"Ellie. Why are you here?"
I said, my arms crossed over each other. She looked up at me, her eyes darting around. She sighed and stood up gently.
"I wanted to say that i-"
"If you wanted to say you were sorry, you would've done that earlier when you came and got your shit."
She looked at me stunned, her mouth hung open.
"You know I'm really sorry. I didn't know that she was gonna kiss me at that party."
I felt a rage burn right through me as she spoke. She spoke as if it wasn't her fault, as if she didn't cheat and enjoy it.
"Oh Ellie, you and Dina did a lot more than just kiss. You fucking know that."
I spat, pointing my finger in her face. I could feel my blood running cold as she stuttered, trying to make up and excuse.
"Cmon babe. You're being dramatic, it was a party!"
"Yeah, but if I was there, would've Dina and you fucked?"
She stood silent, her face rested in a soft frown. I felt tears run down my cheeks, and I let out a stifled sob from my chapped lips.
"Everyone was right. I should've never picked you up on that offer to go out for coffee."
"Oh stop being pathetic, you don't mean that. Please. I'll make it up to you, it'll be like we fell in love all over again!"
I stood up angrily and pushed her too the door.
"Ellie, I wish I could but I can't fall in love with you again."
(c) irlrachelamber 2024
bittersuite by billie eilish
STREAM BITTERSUITE !!!!!!!!!!!!!
AND THAT'S ON PERIOD FOREVER ONE OF MY FAVORITES
