#the robins

[robs-your-robins]

The Riddler probably has such an up and down relationship with the Robins because they all tend to tackle things differently and he’s always so thrown by how they handle his riddles.

The Riddler: To free Batman from my trap, you must answer this riddle, little bird. I speak without a mouth and hear without ears. I have no body, but I come alive with wind. What am I?

Dick, eight years old and freshly Robin: *thinking really hard*

The Riddler looking at Batman dangling upside down: ?

Batman: He just needs an extra minute.

The Riddler:

Batman: English isn’t his first langauge.

The Riddler, feeling a little bad: oh, that’s… take your time, buddy.

Jason, twelve years old: *lifting a hand*

The Riddler: -uh, yes?

Jason: Can you repeat that? The riddle?

The Riddler: um, yeah, sure. I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?

Jason: Yeah, you’re a map but when you’re talking about multiple species of fish, which you probably are, you can say fishes. If you’re using fish, you’re only talking about one species.

The Riddler:

Jason: I just think you should know that. You know as a “genius”

The Riddler: The more you take, the more you -

Tim: Footsteps, where’s Batman?

The Riddler: No, you have to let me-

Tim: Nuh-uh

The Riddler: The fuck do you mean “nuh-uh”? Who raised you?

Tim, on two hours sleep, with two essays due on this fine Thursday night: *fucking launches himself at The Riddler*

The Riddler: I wear a mask but not to hide,

Steph: It's you. You're the answer.

The Riddler: You have to let me finish.

Steph, mimicking him: YOu HaVE tO LEt mE FIniSH

The Riddler: I have-

Damian: *launches himself at the Riddler*

The Riddler: Batman, fuck, FUCK, he’s fucking biting me-

[lexandwich-the-great]

Headcanon that when someone gets injured during a fight, (the clearly underaged) Robin at the time sometimes run into the nearest convenience store and buys vodka to clean the wound~

Imagine.......When Dick is Robin, he gets into a fight with a group of gangsters, and a civilian gets injured. Panicking, Dick runs into the nearest convenience store, looking for something to clean the wound with. Naturally, the workers are very confused as to why a little boy in a brightly coloured costume is attempting to buy a bottle of vodka. They eventually sell it to him on the grounds of "Batman would probably beat us into a pulp if we said no."

Over the years, this happens several more times, even continuing whenever there's a new Robin. Convenience store workers in Gotham have gotten so used to brightly coloured children coming in and purchasing alcohol that when a new person starts working at one of the stores, no one even thinks to explain what the hell is going on.

---

Store Manager: —and last but not least, remember to ask for an ID before selling alcohol to anyone who might be underage.

New Employee: understood.

Robin: *enters, in full costume and covered in blood. walks to the back on the store, before returning and placing a bottle of vodka on the counter with a thud*

Store Manager: *immediately begins ringing him up*

Store Manager, smiling: that'll be $20.

Robin: *hands over the money and leaves with his bottle of vodka*

New Employee: ...

New Employee: ......

New Employee: ........that was a child. That was a child in a Halloween costume. You just sold alcohol to a child in a Halloween costume.

Store Manager: oh yeah, that's Robin. We don't actually know how old he is.

[batfam-stuff-posts-0]

Tim: Oh, Damian's tried to kill me lots of times.

Tim: There was one time when we were younger, he disguised himself as a case file, because he knows I love case files.

Tim: So I went to pick it up to work on it and he took off the disguise and went 'MBLEGH it's me!' and stabbed me.

Damian: *smiles fondly at the memory*

Dick: Damian, no stabbing your brothers.

Jason: There's a more important issue here. How the fuck was he disguised as a case file -

[bruce-wayne-enjoyer]

It's half funny and half serious to me when Jason rejects Bruce's fatherly affection, only to fall back when the other kids take Bruce up on the offer instead

Like imagine that Jason sees Bruce hovering above him post-patrol, wanting to tend to his injuries like he used to, and then he says "Fuck off old man 😠 I didn't ask you to be here"

And Bruce, ever so careful with the small peace between them, just goes "Okay Jaylad 🥺" and walks away. Because at least his baby is in the cave with him!!! That's all that matters...

Then something happens when Jason sees someone else go to Bruce for the same comfort he just rejected

Maybe it's Tim shyly going up to Bruce because he can't reach a gash on his back, or maybe Damian just wants someone to help him out of his uniform because he's tired and maybe he wants to be cuddled

And then the plates just shift on his head

Jason starts pouting and everything like "Oh I see 😠🥺 so you want me to fall of a cliff and explode??? I see I see"

Bruce pretends not to be a little amused when he sees Jason sulking, and then goes and tries again with asking if he needs him his help

His little diva just rolls his eyes and goes "Well if you INSIST 🙄" then practically flops onto his dad, complaining about all the aches and itches, and then complains that Bruce isn't doing it right (he just wants to hold his dad's hands and snuggle up closer to him)

Then Tim and Damian give Jason a knowing look like "fake ass idgaf-er!!!!!"

[eros-telesse]

*The Robins dismantling a gang hideout*

*They had just finished tying everyone up when Tim turned around to see that the guys were watching something.*

Tim : ...Is that fucking porno?

Steph : What? Oh my god it is!

Damian : Disgusting.

Jason : Damn. I can't believe they were just watching porn in peace.

Dick : I don't know if I'm impressed or disgusted.

*They all tilt their heads watching the TV to try to understand the position.*

Steph : This doesn't look comfortable...

Dick : It's no-

Damian : Trust me it isn't.

Robins :

Dick : Excuse me?

Damian way too fast : I said nothing.

Dick : DAMIAN??

*Dick is horrified, Damian Livid, and Jason, Steph, and Tim are cackling in the distance*

[mnaanna]

Nice big bro Jason bringing the robins home

The uniforms I take inspiration from webtoon comics

Based on this:

[icarusgwings]

ARIANAH WHAT ARE YOU DOING HEREE??????