masterlist
Part 1 of the Silk Series
mafia!Namjoon x reader
mafia! au, Arranged marriage! Au
7.6k words
mature 👁 (who am I?), romance, fluff, implied first time? (Or maybe just no one’s ever loved her right)
Hi guys! surprise! Guess who’s back with a brand new one shot? I’d had an idea I was so tempted to try. It was supposed to be really quick, maybe just a few hundred words- more a blurb than anything else- but very quickly grew into an almost 8 thousand word story in the course of a day. This is very different for me. I've never toyed with mafia! au’s, and I’ve never written a proper story with Namjoon. Halfway through, I even though of changing it to Hobi- but joon is just too perfect for this genre. This is the first time I’ve ever written or shared a story that got quite this intimate. Clearly, since it’s me, there’s still a ton of heart, but writing this part of a love story is very new for me- so posting this comes with quite a bit of vulnerability. Feedback would be amazing. The absolutely beautiful moodboard was made by the ethereally talented @today-we-will-survive . It suits the story so perfectly in every way. I even went back to tweak small details to match up with her picture selections after I saw the board because they were just so impeccable.
I hope you enjoy it! —Christiana 💕✨
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“There she is.”
His gravelly voice sent a chill down your spine as you entered the room, softly locking the door behind you. Rolling his head to the side, Namjoon met your eyes. His gaze was so enticing, so seductive in the dark, but his smile was warm as ever. You were a puddle in his hands the second his dimples showed up and he knew it. As his eyes lazily raked over you, he opened his arms in invitation.
“Come here, baby girl.”
Lip tugged between your teeth, you hesitated, just for a moment. “Are you sure?” Your voice came out in the softest whisper, fingers tangling with the sash of your black silk robe. You traced the back of your calf with your foot, body language demure and unsteady under his gaze.
His smile stretched wider at your shyness. “I’m always sure.... I’ve been waiting all day for you.” He wet his lips as he watched you, his calm smile never wavering as you gathered your nerve to pad barefoot across the room to him and climb in bed beside him.
“Why?” you asked, genuinely curious. Risking a glance in his direction, your eyes fell back to the sheets between you when you found he was already watching you. “There must be so much more on your mind than me. Why on earth would you waste any of your thoughts on me when so much already demands your time?
“Why wouldn’t I? Knowing a girl as perfect as you would be in my bed tonight ? Why wouldn’t I be thinking of you?” As he reached over to toy with the ends of your hair, you took the opportunity to study him.
He was just so... beautiful. You never seemed to be able to get over that. Eyes dragging over the expanse of him, you felt your chest flutter at the bold way he presented himself to you. He didn’t bother to hide any part of his body the way you did. And he clearly had every reason to be as confident as he was.
His head was lolled back as he sat propped up against the carved headboard, one leg outstretched while the other was bent for him to rest his forearm on his knee. His silky skin lay exposed against the inky black bedding, his body draped in nothing but moonlight. The sculpture of his thighs was so inviting, it made something in you itch to reach out and touch him. As if he could read your thoughts, a smirk tugged at Namjoon’s lips.
Suddenly, without a word, his massive hands slipped around your waist and pulled you over into his lap. Shaken by the abruptness of it, your eyes darted across his face, trying to get a read on him and failing.
“Namjoon…” your breath hitched as he settled you down on top of him.
“Yes, Princess?” The shameless way he smiled back sent your pulse racing. “May I?” He gave a gentle tug on the knot to your robe. Swallowing, you nodded, almost too eagerly, but couldn’t bring yourself to speak. How could you when he looked at you like that? What girl could say no to the hunger in those eyes?
Slowly, his large hands set to finessing the silky knot loose at your waist. He unraveled it slowly, silence blanketing the room in perfect stillness as it came undone. A smile tugged at Namjoon’s lips as the cool air kissed your bare chest, the silken fabric dragging across your skin.
Using his finger tips, he slipped the robe delicately down your shoulders and off your arms. You held your breath as he sent chills sparkling down your skin at every point he touched. Your eyes fluttered shut as he gently discarded your robe somewhere out of your reach, leaving you fully naked under his gaze.
Being skin to skin with him like this still overwhelmed you. Even as shadows pooled in the edges of the room, you felt as exposed as if it had been midday. You couldn’t figure out where to look, where to start when so much of him was offered to you all at once. Or when so much of you was on display. But God, his skin was so warm. Always, always incredibly warm. It was so distracting.
His thumb brushed lovingly over the soft pink glowing on your cheeks. God, he loved how innocent you were.
“You’re blushing again. Why are you so nervous with me?” He tipped his face down to meet yours, laughter lighting up his eyes.
“Am I? Sorry… you’re just so…” your words trailed off, your pulse thumping in your ears, as your thighs settled down around the edges of his hips. A soft gasp tumbled out of your lips as you melted onto him, entirely bare now . Something dark flashed in his eyes as your warmth surrounded him. A sound you couldn’t describe slipped from the back of his throat when you did.
“I’m so what, y/n?” He whispered, never breaking eye contact with you.
You smiled up at him, a bashful subtle grin, as his palms kneaded softly into your waist. You loved the way he touched you.
Your hands found rest on the sides of his neck, the tops of his shoulders- fingertips tracing smoothly into his firm skin. “You’re so handsome. I still can’t believe you’re real.” You confessed, shaking your head.
Your eyes fell to his broad smooth chest as you played with the wisps of his lavender hair. Your fingers trailed down his neck, ghosting over the planes of his chest to rest on his solid stomach . “It’s hard to know what to do with myself around you.” You admitted.
His dimples deepened at your words. “So what can I do then? To make you feel more comfortable with me?” He bit his lip, light glinting off an especially sharp canine tooth as it sunk into the flesh of his bottom lip. His eyes were devilish, playful, despite his gentle words.
“What do you mean?” Your eyes flicked up, wide with wonder, mouth softly parted. It drove Namjoon wild.
“I don’t want you scared of me.” Leaning forward with a sinful smile, he pressed his lips to the shell of your ear and whispered, “I want you to enjoy yourself when you’re with me like this.”
Oh god. Your eyes fluttered shut, something you couldn’t name liquefying in your belly at his words.
“So I’m gonna need to know what you like, baby girl. I need you to tell me. Or show me.” His eyes were practically laughing at you now. The smirk on his lips was beautiful, cocky and dangerous for your health.
“But what… what if I don’t know what I like...yet?” You swallowed.
His eyes widened almost imperceptibly. Ever poised and always in control, he suppressed the jolt of excitement that coursed through him at your words.
“Is that why you’re so shy with me?”
“Is..what?” Your brow scrunched in confusion, before your eyes went wide, realizing what you’d admitted. Trying to correct your mistake, you floundered, sputtering out “oh! That’s-thats not…I mean, I’m not…I ha-...we just…”
“Shh, it’s okay.” His fingers slowly traced up and down your sides. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”
“It’s just that, we’ve only had two other nights together. And either time we didn’t… we never... did more than kiss.” Your palms rested against his broad chest, fingers embedding absent minded patterns into his skin. You couldn’t help it. Your affection for him spilled out unconsciously.
Placing a hand over yours, he brushed his fingers over your knuckles.
“Would you like to?” His voice was so husky this time of night, so rich and deep.
“Yes,” You whispered, head nodding softly. “How would we start?” You wondered. The words had barely left your mouth before your eyes were fluttering shut, his hands tracing lightly down your sides, his pace achingly slow until he reached your hips.
“Just like this,” he whispered. Curving his hands to palm the arc of your hip bones, he grunted , abruptly pulling you flush against him as you gasped. He made no attempts to hide his hunger tonight. As his gaze fell heavy on your mouth, his tongue flicked to trace his own lips. The sight of that alone overwhelmed you.
“Namjoon,” you breathed. The way he was looking at you, the way he held you- it was too much, too much all at once. Thumbs brushing tenderly into the fold of your hips, he dipped down, his face so close his lips brushed yours as he spoke. A predatory smile slipped across his face as he whispered,“ What is it, baby?”
“Kiss me….” it was meant to come out softly, but instead squeaked out as a whine. “Please.”
And in an instant, his lips had crushed against yours. A moan you couldn’t contain slipped out of you and he used it as an opportunity to slip his tongue in your mouth. Oh…..god. It’d been days since you’d kissed him, and even then, it hadn’t been like this. Today he was hungry, ravenous and every part of his kiss showed it.
His lips were soft and decadent, his kiss greedy to taste you. Your hands found themselves threaded in his always perfectly styled hair, woven in at his scalp, tugging to keep from tipping off the edge of the world as his tongue dove back in your mouth. His hands gripped into your hips so tight, you swore there’d be bruising in the morning. Perfect purple fingertips speckled across your skin. And you relished in it. You’d wear them like a badge of honor the next day.
Lost in the rhythmic, sloppy pattern of his lips, you didn’t notice when your hips began to glide against his. His hands traveled to grab your waist, his own hips bucking to match your pace. When you caught his lip between your teeth, he couldn’t help but snap his hips up against you, a gasp tumbling from your lips as he did. You found your back arching in pleasure as something effervescent began to build between your legs.
You’d wrapped your arms around his neck entirely, hands buried in his hair. You couldn’t get close enough to him. Your kisses were reckless, needy now as you felt him growing beneath you. You wanted more of him-needed more of him… if only you could..
“God, Namjoon…I-”
“F-ck… god, y/n.”
Foreheads pressed against each other, you both laughed, chests heaving frantically. A smile a mile wide blossomed on your face when you realized how wrecked you both were just from kissing each other. Laughter filled the space between you.
“God, you’ve gotten good at that.” He smiled, his eyes warm as he took in how beautiful you looked with your tousled hair and wild eyes.
“I had a lot of ground to make up.” You admitted bashfully. “You’re so much better at all of this than me.”
“I don’t know about that. You’ve been driving me crazy, y/n,” He dragged his mouth up your jaw to place an open mouthed kiss on your neck beneath your ear. It bloomed ruby against your skin- the way it drew his name to tumble off your tongue was the sweetest, most sinful sound he’d ever heard. “See? That’s what I’m talking about- how am I supposed to function all day knowing you make sounds like that?”
“J-joonie, stop… I cant… think when you do that.” You shuddered.
“Do what?” He arched a brow at you as he pulled back, feigning innocence with those wicked eyes.
“You know what.” You leveled him with a playful glare that just made him laugh. Your face became softer, thoughtful as you raked his hair back out of his eyes for him. “Hey, joon?”
He leaned into your touch, closing his eyes as you said his name. “What is it, princess?”
“I’m glad it was you.” Your voice breathy as you whispered. His eyes flashed open at your words. “It could’ve been anyone. I’m so glad it was you.”
Taking one of your hands in his, he pressed a tender kiss to your palm, exhaling slowly.
“I know this...whole situation has been strange.” His voice was lower now, deeper. “You never asked for this. To be here with me, be a part of this life. A girl as sweet as you married into the mafia? I know you grew up in this world- but no girl grows up dreaming their marriage would be arranged like this.” He licked his lips, brows furrowing to show you he was serious.
“No, I didn’t.” You admitted. “In a million years I never would’ve picked it. But, the second I saw you across the room… I- I don’t know. I knew I had to be beside you. There was just- something so different about you.” Your words felt inadequate to express how struck you’d been by him that day. Something in his eyes the day your father’s had introduced you had drawn you in and never let you go.
He’d been waiting for you that day at the top of the neatly carved stone steps in a suit so black and so crisp you could’ve cut yourself on it. The elegant tailoring hugged a body so statuesque that it was clear you’d never met a man more gorgeous than him and never would. Definitely not anyone one as sexy or dangerous.
But then, there was something more- just behind the fierceness of his presence. Beyond the aura of power around him lay the puzzle piece that was the most unique- the kindness he hid in his deep mocha eyes, the gentleness tucked away in the smiling corners of his full lips. When he’d pressed a kiss to the back of your knuckles that day in the dappled sunlight of the stained glass windows, something inside you just knew- Namjoon was different.
When he’d told you that no matter what, as dangerous as this life was, he was determined to keep you comfortable, keep you safe, that you’d always be protected with him-you knew he was genuine. That as far as he even could make that kind of promise- he meant it. You knew he’d do whatever he could to treat you right. With your history as the kingpin's daughter, you knew men that like were hard to find. His noble intentions alone had been enough to make you try to trust him. To build a bridge that began a shaky alliance.
When your wedding day had arrived after all of three conversations between you both, he’d snuck into your suite before the ceremony to make sure it was still what you wanted. His fist full of flowers, he’d called you beautiful but given you the chance to call it all off if that was what you wanted.
That was the second you knew you were his.
After securing your yes, he’d placed a kiss in your hair, slipped a golden hair comb into your palm that had been his mother’s and slipped back out of the room as silent as he’d entered with a whispered promise to see you at the altar. When you entered the church, you didn’t see anyone but him. Fitted black tux and hair swept back out of his eyes, his dimples were on display just for you. He’d slipped your hand in his once you’d made it down the aisle, winking when it ruffled the priest's feathers, but never letting go.
When he slid a golden band past your knuckle, you realized the filigree in the metal mirrored the brocade woven across his blazer- a gesture of the pride he took in catering to every detail he could for you. When the priest told him to kiss the bride, he’d seen the nervous panic in your eyes, choosing instead to whisper, “our first kiss will be ours. It doesn’t belong to these people,” as he turned to place the sweetest kiss on your cheek, just catching the corner of your lip.
That was the moment you knew you’d done the right thing.
Your massive wedding reception had been a blur of names, faces, negotiations. Because what was a wedding if not a chance to strengthen ties? At some point, Namjoon had vanished. No doubt pulled away by people’s eager, self interested ploys disguised as congratulatory small talk. You sighed. The family business clearly had no care for your comfort on this once in a lifetime day. Disappointing yes, but It didn’t surprise you.
So you’d resigned to settle in the immaculately gilded venue hall, half buried beneath the layers of your tulle gown, left alone to polish off the champagne and fend off invasive questions by yourself. The prodding, transactional affair had left you feeling dizzy and sick like an overworked show pony, but the second Namjoon reappeared, he was glued to your side. A whispered apology later, He’d pressed his hand to your waist, carving small circles into the small of your back with his thumb and dismissing the aggressive family friends pointedly reminding you of how soon you needed to have his child.
His breath swirling warm by your ear, he’d dipped down to whisper, “don’t pay them any mind. That happens when you’re ready. Not a second before,” before returning to the conversation, clutching you reassuringly close to his side as he excused you both to finally slice your cake.
That was the moment you saw the first glimpse of a future with him.
When he’d winked your way as buttercream frosting painted across his dimples, you felt the first bright beginnings of something beautiful blossom in your chest for him. You’d smeared the decadent cake across his face as the guests cheered, ignoring the glint of the glock tucked behind his hip. He’d playfully promised to get you back for that later as you both escaped beneath a magical cloud of confetti to the safety of his glossy black vintage car. For the first time, it was truly the two of you and not another soul.
That was the moment you finally felt yourself catch your breath
When you’d found yourself in his high rise that night, still buttoned up in ethereal white, you hadn’t known quite what to do with yourself. There was no hiding the fact that you were insanely attracted to this man. But you’d also just met him. Wonderful as he was shaping up to be, he was still a glorified stranger to you, even if you were now legally bound to him.
As kind as he was, he was still a man. With there being no prior discussion on how the night would go- you had to assume he was a man who was probably expecting what every man did on his wedding night. Surely, no man in his line of work especially was going to sit back and not get what they wanted on a night like tonight. In your circles, it was his right to. And you knew that.
You remembered his words whispered in your ear at the wedding reception, but who was to say those hadn’t just been said to keep you from bolting out the first available door? You hated to think he was capable of that, but truthfully, it was still far too soon to really know him. So, despite the way your heart leapt in your chest, desperately hoping Namjoon’s previous sentiments were genuine and true, you still braced yourself to be taken, whether you were ready or not.
But... he hadn’t.
Instead, he’d come to stand behind you, hands gentle on your waist, and planted sweet, tender kisses to the backs of your shoulders as he whispered, “we can go as slow as you want tonight. There’s no pressure here.”
This king was in no rush for an heir— it seemed he was perfectly content with romancing his queen—and it took the breath clean out of you. His lips had ghosted down along the side of your throat as he’d pulled away from your ear until your hands had caught his. Your wide trusting eyes trained on his as you guided his hands to the back of your dress.
A soft exhale later, He’d carefully begun undoing each button down the back of your cloud-like gossamer gown with achingly slow precision. You’d been so flustered, so divinely overwhelmed that you couldn’t bear to look at him as he touched you. Instead, you let yourself get lost drinking in the view as his fingers worked, distracting yourself with the glittering city skyline on the horizon from his rooftop high rise window.
From behind you, he’d smiled a soft smile he knew you couldn’t see as he watched your eyelids flutter, felt the way your breathing stuttered and trembled even as you sank against him. He allowed his lips to slowly get acquainted with the honey sweet taste of your skin as he went, dropping glorious velvet kisses along the way that bloomed across your spine.
The warmth of his lips had left you dizzy and craving, desperate to turn in his arms and catch his mouth in yours. But as the last button was finally unlatched, he’d stilled. A moment later, he embedded a warm, lingering kiss against your neck before stepping away to let you finish undressing alone- leaving you to stand in awe in the middle of the floor.
That was the moment you fell in love with him.
He’d been so careful not to rush you. How could you not?
Several moments later after a knock on the door, he’d returned with chilled champagne and a crystal flute in hand for each of you. Tangling his fingers with yours, he’d led you to his bedroom, your breath catching at the panoramic, floor to ceiling view of the sleeping city that could not see you back. Namjoon had all of it wrapped around his pinky, but his eyes only saw you that night.
Guiding you to the edge of his bed, he’d asked before slipping the silken straps of your nightgown off your shoulders and kissing his way from your collarbone up your throat. He’d told you how beautiful you were- how stunning you’d been since the moment he’d laid eyes on you, how perfect you’d looked coming down the aisle to meet him- before gently leaning into you for his first taste of your lips. True to his word, you’d had your first kiss alone together, skin to skin in the decadent stillness of his candlelit bedroom.
You’d spent the night tangled in his black satin sheets, wrapped in his arms, forehead to forehead as you whispered to each other . When your eyes had begun to fall heavy, your body soft and sluggish from all the champagne, he’d pulled you naked against his chest to let you fall asleep in his arms.
That was the first night. The business had required his attention for the next days after, and he hadn’t come to find you those nights. It had left you with a lot to process- you were already falling so deeply for him.
The second night, he returned to find your cravings for each other had grown deeper, headier, dizzier, but the dance was still delicate and Namjoon didn’t push. He’d been pulled away again, the ache in your chest growing insistent with your craving for him. And now, on the third night, here you both were, hearts wrapped up in each other, getting to know the other while you sat bare in his lap, straddling him, and desperate for more.
Now you knew.
Now you knew what you wanted.
But how to…
“Namjoon?” you began.
“Yes, Princess?” He caressed your face, tucking strands of your hair back in place. “What is it?”
“you asked earlier where I’d like to start...”
“Yes,” he smiled. “Do you have an answer yet?” His charming grin was back.
“Can I ride you?” For all your boldness, it tumbled out in a whisper rather than the seductive breathiness you’d hoped for. Your wide eyes locked on his, nervous for his reaction.
“Oh.” He swallowed, cocky smirk slipping right off his face. Whatever he’d been expecting you to say, it sure as hell wasn't that. Unable to read his reaction, you began pulling back.
“Un- unless you don’t want me to. You don’t have to I-“
“I want you to.” He interrupted, his words coming out too rushed. His eagerness made you giggle as he leaned forward to press his forehead to yours, laughing warmly. “See the mess you make of me?”
You smiled, proud of the effect you’d had on him. And eager to try. “Can you… show me how?” Your eyes found his, full of an innocence that undid him.
“Yeah,... yeah I can do that.” He gulped. His assured demeanor had slipped when he’d heard your boldness, but as he bit his lip in concentration, it was clear that his steady focus now was his form of restraint. He’d said things would go at your pace, and it took everything in him not to let the way he wanted to claim you strip the tenderness from this moment.
You needed him right now. He could not rush this. He could see the want, the desire in your eyes as he braced your hips once again, lifting you up to align you with him. He reminded himself to breathe before gently, excruciatingly slowly lowering you onto him. And the second he did, his vision went black.
“Oh my god,” he choked the second he felt you around him. “Baby girl, do you always feel like this?” His brows pinched as his bottom lip found its way between his teeth. Had any woman he’d been with ever felt as good as you did now?
Christ, he was almost done for now and he wasn't even fully inside you yet. He was beyond overwhelmed but he would not let his eyes leave yours. He couldn’t. No matter how badly he wanted to let them roll back in his head, he needed to stay present with you.
“I don’t know.” You answered honestly. “Do you?” Your heavy lidded eyes were already drunk on him. You’d never felt this full, this complete before. You didn’t even know it was possible to feel like this, and the both of you hadn’t even properly started.
“I hope so,” he chuckled. With a slow flourish of his hips, he finally sunk himself all the way into you, a throaty groan leaving both of you.
He took a second to bask in how incredible you felt. When he looked up, his gaze wandered over your face, memorizing how beautiful you looked with him inside of you. The glow of your skin, the state of your hair, the perfect smile in the corner of your lips.
“What is it?” You asked, curious why his eyes had become so soft as he watched you.
“Nothing,” He dismissed. He shook his head softly as a smile played on his lips.
“I love these,” you whispered, leaning forward to kiss his dimples, when all of a sudden your breath left you. The shift to move forward had changed his position in you, and the electric pull of it dazzled you. “Oh my god-What was that?” You asked, eyes full of wonder.
“What- you mean this?” He smirked and rolled his hips up into you, pulling you down onto him. You might as well have been having an aneurysm. That felt incredible.
“God, Yes. How do I do that again?” Your wide eyes suddenly looked ready to devour him. He was living for it.
“Just like this, baby,” stilling his own movement, he guided the flow of your hips, up and down. He slipped his hands around to cradle the back of your thighs, guiding you until you could move on your own accord. When you started, your timid movement felt stuttered, almost mechanically slow as you found your pattern. But the second you finally did, He melted at your rhythm, unable to keep himself from moving with you. Matching your movement, he met your glide with gentle methodical thrusts of his own, leaving him on the startled edge of breathless beneath you.
“There you go. That’s it. God, you’re so good at this.” He gushed.
The way he moved with you was something borderline miraculous. You’d never felt anything-anything- like this. Like him. Your belly felt molten. Your nervous system was overloaded and sparkling, exploding like fireworks on the Fourth of July.
Desperate for more of him, you snatched him to you, diving in and taking his lips in sloppy, wonton kisses. For the first time tonight, his hands slipped up and cradled the softness of your breasts and something in you snapped. Your pace as you bounced on him picked up into something frantic. As he kneaded the fullness of your breast, he slipped his tongue into your kiss and you felt it- felt each of your bones liquefy into mercury at his touch.
“F-ck. God, y/n. Yes.” He buried his head in your shoulder as your fluid hips accelerated. At some point, you weren’t even sure when, his fingers had found your nipples and whatever cadence your hips had previously followed crashed completely, creating a manic time signature all their own as his name flew sharp, high pitched from your mouth .
“Ugh, baby I- I…” you stuttered incoherently, your voice sticky sweet with need for him. You didn’t even know what you were trying to say, but the feel of him beneath you, the way the sweaty warmth of your bodies was starting to make your skin stick together, the way his hungry kisses on your throat made it just that much harder to breathe, made you just that bit lightheaded….you didn’t know what to do with yourself. You felt on the verge of unraveling.
And he let you. He was too in awe of the wild, beautiful creature you’d become, too enamored with the way your body had molded into his. He got lost in the way your delicate face screwed itself together as you chased your high. He would never get over how deeply he was beginning to fall for you.
He noticed the way your bottom lip was swollen from how hard you were biting it now, holding back the illogical scream building in the back of your throat as you rocked with him. Why did something that felt so good make you almost want to cry?
“Shhh. hey, give me this,” his thumb brushed your lip free from the way you’d been torturing it, and in your maddened state, you pulled his thumb into your mouth to suck on it. Namjoon’s pulse exploded as he pulled you back in for another impossibly perfect kiss.
“Namjoon… I… I think I’m close, but I don’t… I don’t know how to....” Your nails had begun to dig half moons into his shoulders, and your lip was back between your teeth as shaky exhausted moans spilled out of you.
“How to what, baby girl?” He asked, just breathless.
“How do I let go?” Your brow was scrunched, eyes pleading- it took everything in him not to come undone at that alone. Captivated by how gorgeous you were as you looked up at him, he found himself leaning down to suck a path of glorious ruby splotches up your neck.
“Do you feel it?” His breath was warm against your ear now. “That pressure? That thing you can’t name that makes you feel like you’re losing your mind and finding it all at the same time?”
“Yes,” You panted, eyes squeezed shut, chest bouncing against his.
“Then let go, feel it.” He instructed.
“But…how?” Your beautiful face was almost in agony at how good he made you feel. The depth he hit inside you, the way the pleasure you felt overwhelmed you. All you wanted was to give into it.
“You don’t think- just feel it.” He whispered, his voice dark as honey. “I've got you, baby girl. You’re safe with me.”
Your hands buried themselves in his hair. You clutched the strands almost too hard, but Namjoon didn’t care. He reveled in the sting of it, watching your face as you unconsciously snatched his head back, a wicked smile overtaking him as he watched you.
“Do you trust me?” He breathed, his gloriously low voice rumbling in his chest.
You couldn’t think, couldn’t remember how to speak at this point. The ravenous tension building in your gut was stealing all your attention. It was all you could do just to nod your head yes for him. The beautiful wreck he’d made of you made a smile stretch across Namjoon’s lips.
“Then relax for me. Breathe. Let go, baby girl.” He slipped a hand between your bodies, his touch ghosting in a place that made your eyes shoot open and gasp.
Namjoon leaned his head back against the headboard and let you go. Gritting his jaw, he closed his eyes, fighting back the building pressure he’d told you to give yourself over to.
He needed to mentally pull back and let you enjoy this.
If he could give you anything, it was making sure you finished first on your first time together. And from the way he could feel the electric tension building in his own abdomen from just watching you and feeling the constricting velvet warmth of you, he knew the second he took charge of what was happening, he’d be done for. It’d all be blown.
The lust he felt watching the gorgeous feral goddess his shy girl had become was consuming him. The hungry way your eyes raked over him, the bright flush on your glowing bare skin, the way you made him feel so desperate for you- He’d never felt anything like it.
But beyond how incredible you made him feel, he was struck by how in awe of you he was. You’d been so brave to accept this whole arrangement. He never should have even found you- you shouldn’t have been real to start with.
You were so gentle and smart. Your heart was so kind. The way you trusted him with you so quickly had alarmed him. He was quickly becoming aware of how precious and rare you were. And what a privilege it was to be the man you’d allowed into your bed to fall apart on. You’d completely surprised him. You were beautiful. You were perfect. You were…
And that was the moment he knew.
Without a word, his hand reached up to cup your cheek. His other hand brushed back the stray strands of hair beginning to stick to your forehead as his hips quickened again to match your pace. Everything in him wanted to make you feel good. Gently caressing your face as he watched you, he couldn’t help the loving words leaving his mouth.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Startled by his praise, you looked up. Everything about him just now was so gorgeous- he didn’t seem human. No one should look that perfect glistening in sweat like this, but he did. His body, his face, his aura - how in god's name had you gotten lucky enough to find him? To have him like this? When your eyes found his, his thumb brushed against your cheekbones, drawing your focus back to the moment, back to him. The look he gave you almost broke you in half.
“Y/n, I'm in love with you.”
And the cord in your belly snapped. Completely unraveled against him, as your body fell apart.
His admission had tipped you so far over the edge that you were free falling, careening straight into pleasure as the feeling of him- all of him- wracked your body. The sounds you made, the beautiful twisted cries of his name against his neck left him so close to falling apart with you. And that astounded him. It’d never happened for him at the same time as his lover. For a second, it almost wrecked him, but he held back. Determined to let your pleasure be the focus tonight.
And in one glorious instant, you collapsed.
Melting into his neck, you unraveled. Panting, exhausted, you’d slumped against his body, your lifeless arms draped limply over his shoulders. You’d never felt so free of tension in your life. Chuckling to himself at the undone mess you’d become, His fingers lovingly traced your back as he pressed kisses along your jaw and in your hair. You still hadn’t said a coherent thing yet.
“N-nam…Namjoon?” language was still clearly too clunky a thing for you to manage right now.
“Yes, Princess?” he chuckled at how far gone you were, lightly brushing your hair out of your face.
“That..was incredible,” you gushed the last word out in a breathy exhale. “Does it..always feel like this?” Tilting your head on his shoulder, you tried to peek up at him.
“It should, yes.” His eyes held so much affection, so much warmth as he smiled down at you. You lifted a wobbly finger to poke at his dimple, your own cheeks blushing as you giggled softly against his skin. “I think it’s time for bed, baby girl.”
He lifted you, body limp and boneless to lay beside him. Gasping as he pulled you off, you seemed to notice for the first time how hard he still was. Pressing up on your wrists, you resisted as he tried to tuck you in.
“But wait- we- you didn’t…”
“Shh, I know..” he laughed warmly at your sudden concern.
“But that’s not fair to you. I-“
“It’s okay, baby. Breathe,.” he cut you off, hands lovingly stopping your palms that you’d pressed to his chest. “That can be tomorrow’s adventure.” He winked, his warm breath heavy against your skin. Your eyes widened, a now familiar feeling glowing beneath your skin for him.
“Are you sure? I can always…” you slipped a hand free, tracing it slowly down his abdomen, your pressure increasing the lower you went. You caught the way his chest froze, completely still when your fingertips dipped to rest just below his navel.
“Y/n,” your name was so strangled and pretty when it fell from his lips. “No.” He caught your wrist again, more firmly this time. Bringing your hand to his lips, he pressed a slow kiss to the tip of each of your fingers before holding it against his cheek. His eyes fell heavy on your lips again, your pulse hitching at the solid unwavering lust in his eyes. When he spoke this time, his brows drawn together to gather the last bits of his composure he had left, you finally listened.
“We went at your pace. Now we go at mine.” The aura around him was so masculine then, so commanding- it was intimidating at best, but his tone with you was still gentle. Always. He was right- he’d been so patient and unhurried with you. The least you could do was return the same for him, no matter how greedy you felt for more now that you’d had him. Now matter how much you wanted to learn all the ways he tasted- you’d listen.
Nodding obediently, you leaned in to kiss him. “We go at your pace tomorrow.” The submission in your eyes tempted him to roll you over on your back right now and show you just how dangerous your word choice was, but he didn’t. Instead he leaned back into you, kissing you slow and sweet, tipping you until you were laying back, surrounded by the soft bedding. Bracing your head with his hand, he laid you down, chasing your lips with his.
“That’s my good girl,” he whispered, brushing your nose with his. Something tightened in him when he saw the way your eyes sparkled at his praise. He shook his head to clear it- thoughts like those were for another time.
“Come lay with me?” you asked him. Your voice was honeyed, so sweet as your hands lovingly stroked through his hair, willing him to come scoop you up like he had the nights before.
“Of course, baby girl,” leaning down beside you, he slid his body against yours, moulding into your side as you laid on your back. You sighed when you felt the weight of him bury itself against your leg. Pressing your cheek against his chest, you buried your face into him as his hands traced the soft flesh of your stomach just beneath your breasts. The warmth of his skin and the glittering pin pricks of his touch dancing across your skin fused together in a perfect dance as you melted against him. It was so soothing and wonderful. The moment was so perfect in your blissed out high that without meaning to, the words had just slipped out.
“I think I’m falling in love with you too,” you whispered, the words hanging in the air above you both as his touch stopped.
Had that been too much? you wondered. He had said it too, but perhaps that had just been the adrenaline of the moment. Maybe he’d forgotten he said it. Or maybe he simply hadn’t meant it- not in the way you did. The silence unnerved you the longer it persisted. You went to pull away from him, suddenly embarrassed at your nakedness, when his hands reached out to pull your waist against him.
He tangled his legs with yours as his lips did the same, a sudden urgency to his kiss that hadn’t been there before. “You’re perfect,” he breathed, hushed between kisses. “Can’t believe you’re real.” When he pulled back, the smile that blossomed across his face was as bright as the midday sun. His happiness was brilliant, contagious, as he wrapped you against him, his broad palm splayed across your back.
Your fingers traced his collarbone, a giddiness you hadn’t expected flowing through you. “I think I’m going to like being your wife.” You confessed, a wide grin illuminating your face.
“Yeah? You think so?” His fingers dragged down the valley of your spine, delicate touches as you smiled beneath him.
“I’m so spoiled already.” You blushed, hiding your face away in the expanse of his chest.
“Not as much as i am,” he laughed, his bottom bitten as he smiled. He rolled to pull you against him as you settled into the arc of this chest. Lips in your hair, he felt himself starting to drift as the warmth of your body lulled him to rest. You’d been so thoroughly worn out tonight- it was taking everything in you to stay awake as it was, even without the steady patterns he was tracing into your skin as you laid with him.
Eyes falling heavy, you pressed your nose to his collarbone, lightheaded at the warmth of his scent. Laying soft kisses on his neck, you felt the rumble of his laughter deep in his chest.
“We’ll never get any rest if you keep doing that.”
Blushing, you dipped your head demurely back to his chest. “Sorry… I can’t help it.”
“I thought you were nervous with me.” He teased.
“How could I be after everything?” Your flushed cheeks betrayed how overwhelmed by him you still felt.
“We’ll see how you are tomorrow then, won’t we? See if you’re still this good a girl for me when I taste you for the first time.” Tipping his finger beneath your chin, he lifted your lips to his, dizzying you with another molten, golden kiss. His tongue slipped into your mouth, teasing you with promises for the next time he brought you into his bed. When he pulled back with a pop, your body fell slack against him, enamored with the wicked gleam in his eyes
“Maybe I want to taste you too,” you confessed, not one to be one upped. The look on his face was absolutely worth it, his eyelids falling heavy at the image of your angelic face doing something so obscene to him. He gulped, trying and failing to not be aroused by the thought, feeling himself swell traitorously against the top of your thigh.
“Oh, you’re gonna be a fun one, princess.” He squinted at you, tongue running over his teeth. You could play the game better than he thought.
“We’ll see won’t we?” You winked, nails dragging across his chest. Something low in his stomach lit up at your touch, a groan slipping out of his throat.
“Holy… woman, let me go to bed.” He pleaded, brows pinched together. He wouldn’t be able to hold himself back if you kept doing things like this.
“If that’s what you want. Your pace. Tomorrow.” your smile promised a thousand things Namjoon never thought he’d see in your innocent eyes.
Before he knew what was happening, your lips were on his again, tongue warm and hungry, before turning around to press your back to his chest. Your hips nestled flush against him, a giggle betraying you when you felt rut him involuntarily against you.
Namjoon felt his eyes roll back in his head at the pressure of you against him, his hands locking themselves around your hips to still you and steady himself.
“God, you’re gonna be the death of me.”
Forehead pressed to the back of your neck, he shuddered as you curved yourself back against him again, slowly, almost imperceptibly this time.
“I clearly underestimated how dangerous you are.” The smile in his voice betrayed him.
““Goodnight, husband,” You cooed, pulling his arm beneath your breast. Slipping his hand up to palm one, he nuzzled against your neck, a dark chuckle on his lips when you gasped.
“Tomorrow. My pace.”
-fin.
