#building yourself

[21oclock]

Start the New Year Now.

Dear Twenty-Ones,

As we all know, the year 2023 is less than 20 days away. Almost everyone who celebrates feels the need to turn a new leaf. We create a list of resolutions or goals that we would like to achieve in the new year. But many people lose sight of what they want almost a month in. They fall back into old habits or stick to the same old routine.

Yeah… let’s not do that and work for what we really want.

Here are some ways to get started or prepared for the new year 2023🧧

Create your resolution/goal list now. This will allow you to sort through and identify how you would genuinely like your new year to be. Take your time with your list and be honest.

Perform mirror work. Stand in front of the mirror each morning and tell yourself positive affirmations. This will get you in the grove of loving yourself intently and can build your confidence for the new year!

Do at home workouts for the remainder of the year. Many people wait for the new year to begin to get a gym membership. Reasons can vary such as not wanting to be billed the annual payment for this year then subsequently the next. Workout at home to build up strength for the gym.

Set your clock 15 minutes earlier each day. Many people list waking up earlier as a goal for the new year. You can work yourself into doing just that by training yourself. 15 minute increments will allow you to ease into it and build that routine.

Drink 2-3 L of water a day. Wanting better skin for the new year? A healthier lifestyle? Go ahead and drink more water. Add some lemon and mint for a refreshing taste and to detox.

Try out new skincare products. It’s not a secret that Korean skincare has been running the market for the last couple of years. Some suggestions: Soon Jung, Cosrx, The Face Shop, Innisfree. Non-Korean suggestions: Paula’s Choice, CeraVe. I will withhold specific product suggestions for now as to encourage you to do research for your own skin type. But I promise, they work!

Use Gua Sha morning or night. Using the tool can help reduce puffiness in the face. Research different methods on how to use it and get started. If you cannot get a tool, YouTube has many videos about facial hand massages.

Create vision board for 2023 on Pinterest, Tumblr, Canva, etc. Creating your vision board now will help you sort through your goals and ideas for the new year. You can also print it out sooner and post it in places you will be able to see everyday.

Create a bill planner to sort through monthly finances. By using a bill planner, you can determine how much of your money or paycheck you will need to save for monthly bills. In addition to this, you can determine how to use the remainder. For personal use? For vacations? Groceries and projects? Let’s get our finances right in 2023!

Start manifesting. To get started, purchase a small journal/notebook. Write down your manifestations and gratitude. This can be done in the morning or at night, however setting your intentions earlier in the day can help you feel more positive.

Au revoir,

21 O’Clock Blog

“A woman who masters the energetics of DESIRE can have anything she wants.”

[theperplexedpoet]

live only love -  a new poem

once upon a time, things made sense but that was a time born of ignorance purposely misled to conclusions just to sell me on all the illusions and I bought in...hook, line and sinker pull the line confusion would set in later as rosed tints would turn grayer and I began to see the truth that you glossed over in my youth holding a receipt for fees paid facing a sign that reads, “no refunds” fuck... by this point, foundations had been laid senses of self had been made upon insecure structures ripe and ready for rupture while I stand below, arms open trying to catch what pieces I can yet, no longer looking up the glasses shatter, and I follow suit here where it matters what's taken root when inward reflections cast out from inside making it impossible for those aspects to hide but out in the light...that's where change happens or is that just another illusion? once upon a time, things made sense but that was a time born of ignorance entered blind to an age where I have grown knowing now my structures to be my own none the more steady than what had preceded none the more ready than what I had needed none the more fit, in fact, I'm defeated for I'm speaking of the essence of fate trying to live only love in a world run on hate (8/9/2020)

[csuitebitches]

How to Build Identity Capital

What is identity capital? Identity capital is essentially investments that we make in ourselves. Things that play a role in defining who you are, such as, your job, degree, the extra-curricular activities you participate in, where you’re from, how you look, speak etc.

Your identity capital is your autobiography.

Identity capital helps you move up in life, and can play a role in getting you to your goals faster too. It’s sort of like you’re very own personal brand that you’re curating.

A very important thing to note- personal growth, including identity capital, does not happen overnight. It will take time and consistent efforts. There is no get rich quick scheme here apart from discipline.

On a personal level it includes:

1. How we speak

2. How we look

3. How we solve problems

4. Our relationships

5. Our hobbies

On a work level it includes:

1. Resumes

2. Degrees

3. Associations

4. Organisations

5. Accomplishments

So how does one do this?

Get a piece of paper and start answering the questions I’ve noted down. You’ll see a summary of the questions as points below.

Hard skill questions:

1. If I had $3 million in bank account and I had to spend 10% of it on charity, which is the first cause that immediately comes to my mind?

2. Do I need money to give back to that cause or can I also give my time?

3. When was the last time I updated my resume? Can I ask someone for a second opinion on how it looks?

4. What is a skill that is important for my job/ potential or future job for at least the next 3 months?

5. Are there any topics or subjects that I’m naturally attracted to that has no direct relevance to my work? (For instance: I’m very interested in women in history)

6. What is one workshop I would love to attend, if everything was at my disposal? (Example: I’d love to go to a chocolate making workshop)

7. What is a hobby that my ideal self would have?

Soft skill questions:

1. When was the last time I spent time quality time with people that mattered to me?

2. Am I interested in learning a new language?

3. When was the last time I took a social media break?

4. What would my bucket list look like right now?

5. What are some short term goals I know I can achieve with effort by the next month?

6. When was the last time I went over my finances? Can I reach out to someone who can guide me better?

7. Is there anything I enjoy collecting?

8. What is a subject I wish I had in school or college?

Notes of hard skill steps:

1. Giving back to a cause that matters to you

2. Keeping your resume updated

3. Learn a new skill and practicing it for a few months

4. Watching one educational video on YouTube/ one podcast such as TED talks a day to improve your knowledge

5. Attending workshops

6. Keeping a gratitude journal

7. Engage in some sort of a creative project or hobby

Soft skill steps:

1. Spending time with people who matter

2. Learning a new language

3. Social media breaks

4. Making a bucket list

5. Making a list of short term goals (Achievable in the next month)

6. Evaluate your finances and set financial goals

7. Start a collection of something you enjoy

8. Take a class in a subject that interests you, even if it doesnt relate to your job or degree

(Source: The Defining Decade by Meg Jay)

https://gentwenty.com/51-ways-to-build-identity-capital/

[21oclock]

Move In Silence.

Dear Twenty-Ones,

It’s common to want to tell people you know about your achievements and dreams. In hopes of love and support, we share the things we care about most.

It’s normal.

However, should you do it? Yes, but not as often as you think.

Silence…

When you move in silence, you are working towards your goals without speaking of them to others. You don’t post about possible opportunities you have. You don’t tell your acquaintances of the job you just received. You don’t tell your family about the car you will buy.

Moving in silence protects you from negativity and doubt. It keeps you safe from the resentment or jealousy others will have.

Believe it or not, not everyone is on your side. You will have people in your life comfortable with you until you surpass their expectations. They may figure that you will never amount to who they are or what they have done. People with these idealisms will always reveal their true thoughts about you once you start showing up for yourself. Once you achieve things they never thought was possible, they will share their distaste. Unfortunately, your closest friends, family, and even significant other can be one of them.

Social media can play a big factor in halting your actions. Say you post about a secret project you are working on for example. (You call it a secret, but it’s secret to me since your telling people.) Say you will be done with said project in a week and will be revealing it soon. I, your audience, wait the entire week to see what your project is about. I may have built up some excitement for you and really was interested in it. But you don’t post anything. You never talk about your project ever again. That would lead me to believe you gave up or it didn’t work out. Quite embarrassing.

Stop embarrassing yourself. Harsh but true and necessary. Everything is not meant to work out and that is okay. But posting your failures before it even began can lead you to be the butt of a joke. When no one is aware of what you are working on, you can fail comfortably. You can learn from your actions independently and decide what to try next. You do not need an audience for every moment of your life and that is okay. Words without action are simply words.

Think about what you are trying to achieve and if you need the support around you. Not everyone in your life is miserable and would wish failure or harm towards you. But choose your audience wisely. Choose the people who genuinely care. The people who would genuinely show excitement at your excitement alone. Be true to yourself and never hide your shine. If they are too blinded by it, they are not meant to be around you.

Stay safe my friends and before you make that post or tell anyone your business, remember to move in silence.

Au revoir,

21 O’Clock Blog

“A woman who masters the energetics of DESIRE can have anything she wants.”

[umi-no-onnanoko]

[bdcreatorbox]

"Success comes when you stop watching others and start building yourself. Keep moving forward, one step at a time."

[jaxxs184]

I need an outlet to put myself out into the world. I've been locked inside my own mind for so long. Living unrealistic, unhealthy nightmare... Oh, I mean life. I've been destroyed and broken so many times by so many people. I've laid dormant in my den of safety, a space in which I can control. That control came at a cost, though. The cost of my mind. My sanity slowly slipped away year after year, day after day. I was broken to the point I was bleeding out in the dirt with no sign of the light. No one by my side. Empty and alone with only my death wishes comforting me to sleep. Death wishes so sweet they bring a tear to your eye. You're only human.

We can't help it. Escaping this cruel life. A constant for my entire life. Until the last year and a half. My world flipped upside down and spun around until I lost my bearings and self-control. So much, so fast all at once. A love interest opens me to a new world that can I benefit and learn from. A new world with so much undiscovered trauma laying in wait. I didn't understand just how deadly it was. Enduring that has been my eye opener to the fact that if you listen and pay attention, life speaks to you in lessons. Beautiful and strong messages that can cut to the core of your very being. I learned my lesson. Not listening to the messages life was giving me. Making me relive my own personal hell.

That Hell would never stop! Years and years of pain and torture because I didn't understand that life was teaching me. Teaching me to care for myself. Teaching me to love my past and learn from it. Teaching me that sometimes those demons are needed in life, that the goal is always kindness. It was all laid out in front of me, but I couldn't overcome my fears. I couldn't find the strength to pick myself up. My fatal flaw. Learned that one as well this year. I would rather save someone else because I viewed myself as unworthy to save.

Unworthy to save, huh? My decisions in my past made me believe that. I ran from my shadow, and I let it win without even knowing it. Years of blaming myself and others for where I was at. All it took to change my life was information, though. Knowledge. Learning and applying. Makes it easier day by day. I wish I knew that when I was younger. If I had the hunger I had now, back when I was younger, I would have gone so far in life.

You can't blame your past life? No. I can blame the people who made my life Hell on purpose, though. I never blame those people. I never try to blame anyone. I need to, though. People need to be held accountable, right? Manipulation and control at its finest! Hahaha. Evil people do evil things. Yet they still cry out to live in the light. Little bit Yan and Yang for you. The Yin and Yang. It's such a beautiful ideology. It helped me understand people a little bit better. Gave me grounding, balance between my light and dark. See when people look at the Yin and Yang as two different beings supported by each other. Both are different on the outside, yet the result is the same inside of those beings. Well, when you look at it like that, that seems correct, right? It's the way we look at them as two separate beings. It's one being. A being with conflict inside of them. Always a right and wrong. Evil, death fighting against love and life. At least, that's the way I understand it.

Please understand that this is not a cry for help. Just questions and statements to help me understand my reality. I hope you enjoyed this read, even if it hurt. Feedback is appreciated.

[formingbliss]

Let’s reinvent ourselves without flaws.

If we look around everyone has some flaws in them. Just a matter of less and more but nobody is without flaws. But I believe people can discover flaws in everything they don’t like. #motivation #motivate #reinventing #reinvention #reinvent #flaws #ourself

If we look around everyone has some flaws in them. Just a matter of less and more but nobody is without flaws. But I believe people can discover flaws in everything they don’t like. However, what if we consider these flaws our strength and reinvent ourselves without flaws. Sometimes we need motivation both mentally and physically. Many people are there who set out to leave their old troubled…

View On WordPress