#cherokee writer

[thediaryofawolf]

Tonight ...

For the very first time, I wish I’d never met you.

The heartache outweighs the ecstasy.

I would choose the pain of never knowing you, over the agony of being loved and then unloved by you.

> K.E.

[thediaryofawolf]

I know my story is one for the dead.

One my family will read, searching for answers in grief.

I hope they, and everyone else, can find peace knowing that I never gave up. I never stopped fighting - never stopped trying.

I wasn’t made to survive in this world - not with the circumstances I was dealt.

I gave all that I could.

And I left without regret, ready to face whatever - if anything - comes next.

> K.E.

[thediaryofawolf]

I was funny. I was strange in a good way. I made people laugh while making them uncomfortable. I had dirty jokes ready at the tip of my tongue. I could make fun of myself without feeling a single sting. 

I talked about sports and secrets while drinking $2 beers. I’d take tequila and whiskey shots without flinching. 

They called me ‘mom’ because I’d take care of them when no one else would. I carried mint gum in my purse in case someone puked. I’d stroke their forehead and press a cold water bottle to their lips. I’d take their shoes off and tuck them in for the night. 

They thought they wanted to fuck me - not recognizing the difference between someone willing to nurture and someone down to suck them off. They respected me even more when I lovingly said ‘no, baby’.

I miss the pedestal. I think I always will.

>K.E.