listen. i can’t control what cishet aces think about themselves. if bizarrely somehow you think belong in the same category as me when our experiences, identities and celebrations are entirely different, then fine. think what you want. i’m not the thought police.
but when you see an lgbt person making a post that you can’t relate to: whether it be about loving someone of the same gender or being trans or anything - do not go in there and make it about you. guess what? it’s not about you. it’s about them. and there’s a reason you don’t feel solidarity with it, there’s a reason why non-lgbt aces keep fucking complaining about people making posts that don’t include them in the content. like, multiple times on my normal, non discourse dash i see shit in the vein of -
post: ‘support gay pda/love!’
someone: ‘how dare you not include aces’
me: screeches and flies into the sun
sure, there are lesbian, gay, bi, pan aces. and guess what? that post applies to them, IT ALREADY INCLUDES THEM. because of them loving the same gender!!! what a concept!!! maybe, if you are literally trying to force yourself into a post that isn’t about you, you should...not do that???
similarly, don’t call yourself queer. queer is a term that has always applied to people loving the same/similar gender or not being the gender they were assigned to at birth. if you call yourself queer, and a straight person is confused because you’re not one of the former, there’s a reason for that!!! for the same reason, i cannot claim the f slur because i am a lesbian!!! and a gay guy can’t claim the d slur because they are not a lesbian!!! and non trans women cannot claim the t slur because we are not trans women!!! it’s that simple!!! don’t claim something that has never been used against you. (misdirected homophobia/transphobia doesn’t count). asexual being a part of the lgbt label has only existed since the early 2000s because of a campaign started by a homophobe!! you are being ahistorical if you try to claim the queer label!!!
and finally, a question. if you still insist on doing all these things (aka being an asshole), what do you get out of it?? being lgbt has never been about inclusion. it’s been about fighting for rights, fighting to survive, fighting for normality in our lives. what does the fight for marriage equality achieve for you? what solidarity do you see with us at a pride parade? what scholarships/jobs/institutions have you been rejected from? what laws are against you? what countries forbid you from existing? how can you even begin to think that coming out to your family is the same?
i don’t get it. i just don’t get it. ace lgbt people have and always will experience those things with us. but if you are not attracted to the same or similar gender and you’re not trans/nb....why are you here? because that’s what being lgbt is. we’re not defined by others. we’re defined by ourselves. if you’re out of the norms of “”western patriarchal ‘heterosexuality””, that doesn’t mean you’re automatically one of us. this isn’t normal vs not normal. this is us vs people who hold structural power over us. and guess what??? you’re part of that, whether you want to be or not.
so you can think you’re not all you want. but when you actively intrude into spaces that have never been for you, and then wonder why you’re not being pandered to? there’s a reason for that.
