First of all: I love your work, you're doing a great job and I really love your writing style!
I'd like to request something (if you don't want to write that it's cool). I had some kind of a down time for the past few weeks and need something funny/comforting. I thought of maybe reader being a medic on the set of jackass and she and bam and Ryan had a troubled past. So when she sees them she's like "oh please don't get hurt" and the other boys are teasing her like "oh, are you worried about them?" And she's like "god no I don't want to see their faces more than I need to."
And bam or Ryan kinda start to like her and is jealous when the other guys try to flirt with her.
Can end in smut, even though I'm ace and not a smut fan, but the stuff you write is so good, I can totally live with that.
Thanks for your fics and happy new year!
Tell Me
[Ryan Dunn x F!Reader]
A/n: ASSKICKEDBYGIRL WRITING FLUFF FOR ONCE?!?!?!? 😱😱yeah there's a shock. thank you for the req sorry it took me a while to get around to it but thank you for saying that too!!! I've missed writing I wish I didn't have a life.
warnings: mentions of sex, alcohol, cursing
2.9k words
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"You might be busy today, looks like Bam and Ryan are gonna fuck something up." Jeff tutted, glancing over to where the crew were setting up.
"God I hope they don't get hurt."
Johnny overheard what you said, a smirk appearing on his face as he wandered over to where you and Jeff were stood.
"And why's that? You got a crush? Worrying your pretty little head over em?" He laughed, ruffling up your hair as you tried pushing him off.
"God no. I don't wanna see their faces more than I have to."
Johnny's brows narrowed, unsure of why you had some sort of vendetta against the two buffoons from West Chester.
"They went to high school together." Jeff answered Johnny's confusion for you before leaving the two of you be.
"Ah I see. One of them an ex or something?"
You shook your head, scoffing.
"Definitely not. They were just idiots that's all."
Johnny could tell you were leaving some detail out as you continued setting up your station, the job you were supposed to be doing instead of chatting with the star of the movie.
"Did they pick on you? Cause' if that's the case I can kick their asses for you. We'll call it reparations."
Johnny's sweet talking pulled a little smile from you though you kept your eyes trained on the ground, afraid you might fall into Johnny's sunken ones as crushing on coworkers was totally a no-go in the professional sense.
"No it's okay. They were kind of assholes to a lot of people so it's not really considered picking on me. Just boys being dumb."
Johnny nodded, biting his lip.
"Well hell maybe they've changed, they're only jackasses professionally now!"
You laughed, glancing up to meet Johnny's eyes.
"Yeah, maybe they just keep the assholery for when they're getting paid."
Before you could launch into any further discussion with the heart throb, the two cast members you'd least like to speak to darted over, calling your name.
"Did you miss us?" Ryan laughed, wrapping an arm around you like you were the best of buds.
"Can't say I did Dunn." You awkwardly shoved his arm off of you, trying your best to continue unpacking though Bam sitting on top of your workplace made that rather difficult.
"Oh come on, you had to have missed me after I dropped out!" Bam chuckled, leaning back, Johnny simply observing the mini high school reunion.
"I will say Bam, Raab shitting on those lockers was the best thing he ever did, got rid of the two of you!"
That's when Johnny finally interjected, laughing whole-heartedly and clutching his chest.
"Raab did what?!"
"You don't know this? Raab got expelled for smearing shit on a bunch of lockers so Bam dropped out." Ryan smiled, relishing in relaying the story despite the fact he wasn't actually there to experience it.
"Chris committed a string of shit related crimes but that one was truly the last straw." You nodded, smiling at Johnny's joy.
"Well hey, they were pretty funny, you have to admit." Bam extended his arm, attempting to grasp some humour from you.
"Funny isn't the word I'd use... disgusting seems more fitting. Plus you guys were dickheads back then."
Bam and Ryan matched faces of confusion.
"What are you talking about? We were dumb kids everyone just ignored." Bam said, Ryan nodding along.
"Seriously? You don't remember?"
There was an awkward silence then, Bam and Ryan racking their brains trying to understand what the hell you were on about.
"Remember what?" Ryan asked.
You bit the inside of your cheek, glancing between the two boys and remembering Johnny was right there too, witnessing this strange sort of confrontation. You weren't sure if you really wanted to unload the words that swirled in your head through in your teen years in front of the guy you kinda liked, the idea was not exactly appealing.
"Whatever, forget it." You bit your tongue, grabbing something and pretending you had something else to attend to when you were just desperate to make an escape.
***
After that awkward little encounter Bam and Ryan seemed to be making an array of unnecessary visits to your station, pestering you for band aids and asking if random bruises 'looked okay'.
"Bam you've had thousands of bruises in your lifetime, I'm sure you know that looks perfectly normal."
"Alright yeah, I just wanted to come talk to you before Dunn or Knoxville had a chance." Bam pulled down the leg of his pants as your brows narrowed.
"What are you talking about?"
Bam grinned at you, like he knew something you didn't.
"No it's nothing, I just like talking to you."
Bam's glimmering eyes were seeping into you but it wasn't really working, in fact he was becoming more of a nuisance than anything else.
"Well I appreciate the fact you enjoy my company but I'm kinda trying to work here."
Bam rolled his eyes, not giving up.
"Oh come on. No one's hurt you don't have any work to do, just tell me why I was an ass and I'll leave."
As soon as the words left Bam's lips a yell was heard where Johnny was performing a stunt followed by a 'Medic!" shout.
"Fuck." You muttered, grabbing your kit and running over to where Johnny lay clutching his ankle.
"I think I broke it." He spoke through gritted teeth, eyes shut tightly.
You removed Johnny's hand to see the area was already swelling.
"Help me get him to the tent, I have an ice pack there." You called out to someone, Ryan jumping into play as he swung Johnny's arm around his shoulder while you did the same with his other arm, helping him up and steadying him.
A gaggle of people tried to follow you along but you shooed them off.
"He'll be fine, Jeff can you tell everyone to fuck off please?" You called out, Jeff simply shooting you a thumbs up and waving away any stragglers.
As you, Ryan and Johnny eventually made it to the med tent to sit Johnny down, you noticed a stray had followed you along.
"I don't need both of you here." You called out to Ryan and Bam who both pretended to look mightily concerned as Johnny winced and you fetched the ice pack.
"I'll stay." They both said in unison, earning a glare from you.
"I think I can handle a sprained ankle guys, goodbye." You pushed Ryan and Bam out of your tent and closed the curtains, turning to face Johnny.
"Sorry about those idiots, they won't fucking leave me alone." You muttered, removing Johnny's shoe and sock and placing the ice pack on his swollen ankle, causing him to suck sharply through his teeth.
"You think I fucked it up badly?"
"Nah, probably just a sprain even though it might seem a lot worse, you'll have to use crutches for a bit though."
Johnny sighed, looking pissed off.
"Well there goes two weeks where I can't do shit."
There was an awkward silence in the tent then as you kneeled below him, lifting his foot with your hand to elevate it.
"You know they probably like you right?"
"What?" For being so irritated and in pain, Johnny was really gonna bring up Bam and Ryan?
"The idiots. They have massive crushes on you, I know it."
You laughed, shaking your head.
"You're delusional."
Johnny smiled, staring at you below him, rooting through your bag for bandages.
"I think I'm very lusional actually."
"Oh god, lusional? He's losing it nurse this must be something far more serious!" You laughed, wrapping the bandage tightly around Johnny as he laughed too, wincing through the pain.
Bam and Ryan stood outside the tent waiting for you, their ears only being filled with joyous laughter, their teeth now grinding together.
"Think they need help?" Bam folded his arms, beginning to grow impatient.
"She likes him. Of course she fucking does, what girl doesn't like Knoxville." Ryan spat under his breath, kicking the ground beneath his shoe.
"You know, maybe if we weren't such dicks in high school she might give us the time of the day." He added, turning away from the tent to fuck off somewhere, pulling out a pack of cigarettes.
"Come on dude, we weren't that bad." Bam called out but Ryan shook his head.
"Well clearly we were if she can't stand talking to us for more than two fucking seconds." He went off in a huff, regret coursing through his veins at the unknown actions of his teenage self.
Who knew being a bit of a dick in high school would come back to bite you in the ass?
***
It was a Friday night and the crew were off drinking at a local bar after a week of filming. Knoxville had been sentenced to two weeks on crutches and so was hobbling around the bar with them while Bam and Ryan were still falling over each other trying to talk to you. You sat in a booth next to Chris, sipping on your vodka soda and trying to ignore the pestering Bam who was getting more and more drunk by the minute when suddenly he spoke your name all serious.
"Just tell me how Ryan and I were such dicks to you in high school and I promise I'll fuck off."
You were pulled away from your lively conversation to be met with yet another awkward confrontation.
"Bam I don't wanna get into this, seriously." Bam threw his arm over your shoulder and pressed his finger against your lips.
"Just tell me! I'm sorry I was an asshole cause' now I really wanna bang you."
"Alright Bam! That's enough of that!" Like a deus ex machina, Ryan graciously came to your rescue, dragging his drunk friend away from you and pushing him towards another group of Jackass people.
Your eyes were wide, mouth slightly agape.
"Sorry about him, whiskey is like his truth serum."
You just shook your head laughing, still in a state of disbelief.
"Well I wasn't expecting a love confession to go like that."
"He has a way with words." Ryan laughed, shrugging.
"I'm going to the bar and am not ordering whiskey." Chris murmured, sliding out from the booth and leaving you and Ryan alone.
"So you and Bam really wanna know why I didn't like you when we were younger huh?"
Ryan took a sip from his drink, trying to act as if he didn't care as much as his inebriated best friend.
"I mean, kinda but- yeah. Yeah we do wanna know."
You laughed, shaking your head.
"Fine, I'll tell you."
Ryan's eyes widened.
"You will?"
"I will. but! only if you tell me one thing."
"Anything, what is it?" Ryan nodded enthusiastically.
"Do you have a crush on me too?" Your smile widened, eyes burrowing into his own.
Ryan laughed awkwardly, eyes spinning around the room trying to avoid your gaze.
"Oh come on, what are we 16?"
"Well you wanna know why I thought you guys were assholes at 16 so?"
Ryan bit his lip, considering his options when he just settled on biting the bullet.
"Fine. Yeah I do have a crush on you. That's why I wanna know why you're not giving me any chances so bad."
You smiled smugly, picking up Ryan's glass of whiskey.
"God this stuff really is truth serum!"
You both shared a moment of laughter before settling down.
"Alright I'll tell you. Sophomore year you were a Senior. I kinda liked your hair and I thought you were cute."
Ryan bit back a smile.
"I was at my locker and you and Bam were talking and I kinda overheard your conversation."
Ryan winced at that.
"Well that's never good."
You scratched the back of your head, smile faltering slightly when you remembered what you were about to spill, the alcohol in your system making your lips a little looser.
"Well you know I was pretty quiet in high school. Didn't really talk to anyone except my close friends."
Ryan nodded, straying away from any jokes as he noticed your change in demeanour.
"Since I was so quiet I could kinda fly under the radar, overhear things nobody thought I would hear, I was kind of invisible like that. Anyways, one day you and Bam were talking about girls."
Your eyes were stuck on the table, not wanting to look up and back out of what Ryan had lured you into saying.
"I noticed Bam kinda nodded his head towards me and asked you 'What about her?' I didn't hear the first part but knew it had something to do with sex or dating or whatever."
Out of the corner of your eye you could see Ryan was turning red, already embarrassed before he was even told what he had to be embarrassed about.
"And you said something like 'Fuck no she's a prude. Just an uptight bitch.'"
Ryan swallowed thickly, eyes flicking down to his shoes.
"Then Bam was like 'Yeah she's a cunt. Wouldn't fuck me if I was dying.' and then you just laughed and walked off."
There was quiet then, Ryan shaking his head and sighing.
"Look I don't hold it against you. You were just asshole teenagers and I'm sorry for acting like a bitch late-"
"No stop." Ryan stuck his hand out, interrupting your apologetic spiel.
"I was a fucking dickhead, I'm sorry for saying that shit, it wasn't even true."
You smirked, biting your lip.
"It was kinda true. Still is."
Ryan met your eyes then, his expression hiding a smile
"I just said that bullshit cause' I thought you were cute and I didn't want Bam to get his grubby hands on you."
You rolled your eyes, properly laughing then.
"Oh fuck off Dunn. Don't pull that 'He's only mean because he likes you!' shit on me now!"
Ryan shook his head, smile growing.
"I'm serious! Why do you think Bam and I are falling over our feet trying to talk to you now?!"
You narrowed your eyes and crossed your arms, smirk pulling at your lips.
"Are you telling me this whole time the older kid I thought was cute also thought I was cute?"
Ryan smiled before wetting his lips, arm moving himself closer to you.
"And what if I am?"
You laughed heartily, pushing Ryan's chest.
"Don't put your moves on me Dunn. Did you forget I'm a prude?"
He rolled his eyes again, chuckling.
"Come on let me walk you home before Knoxville breaks something else that you need to look at."
Ryan reached his hand out to pull you out of the booth.
"Jealous already Dunn? Guess you really are the type."
You allowed yourself to get dragged up, Ryan slipping his arm around your shoulder to usher you out of the bar.
"Hey where the fuck are you two going?!" Bam slurred out, bringing everyone's attention to you and Ryan.
You half smiled, unsure of what to say. That's when your eyes met with Johnny's as you witnessed him compute in real time what was happening. When he realised who you were going home with that night he simply smiled and winked at you. How was he always right?
"Taking her home asshole." Ryan called out, wasting no time in pulling you away, the urgency making you laugh.
As you walked down the streets of West Chester, Ryan's hand moved down to hold you by your waist, whispering crude comments about passer-bys in your ear to make you laugh when eventually you reached your apartment building.
"Thanks for walking me home." You smiled, holding your hand over where Ryan was holding your waist and turning to face him.
You looked into each others eyes for a moment, both of you smirking uncontrollably.
"I'd invite you in but, you know I'm a prude so."
Ryan rolled his eyes as you cackled, slapping his chest.
"I deserve that."
You smiled sweetly as Ryan did too, his eyes flicking down to your lips for a millisecond as your faces got closer.
"I don't think we should do anything tonight but..." You brought your hand up to rest on Ryan's cheek, rubbing his face with your thumb.
"I could give you something else." You whispered, leaning in and kissing him.
Ryan kept his hold on your waist but moved his other hand to touch your own face, deepening the kiss. He pushed your body to be closer to his own, moving his lips against yours roughly, beard grazing your chin. Before things could escalate any further you pulled away, allowing yourselves to catch your breath.
"You foiled my plan." Ryan laughed, brushing your hair off of your face.
"What?"
"My plan this whole time was to get the prude to sleep with me ten years later, it was strategy all along."
You both laughed.
"I see, you really plan ahead. I guess I'll just have to sleep with you now."
Ryan quirked an eyebrow at your obviously sarcastic response, resulting in a punch to the arm. You laughed pulling away from his hold on you.
"Goodnight Ryan." You turned your back to him and began unlocking the door as he still stood behind you. As the door opened you turned around, smirking before kissing him one last time for the night.
Would you write a smut about a fem reader who’s super turned on by Bam’s tattoos? Thank you!
The Tattoo [Bam Margera x F!Reader Smut]
part two
Desc: You’re a medic on the set of Jackass and you fucking hate Bam Margera. Though when patching him up you get sort of flustered at a certain tattoo.
A/n: Thank you for the request! Sorry i kind of went my own way with this and considered the tattoos a prompt rather than the focal point of the work but i hope you still like it! As always not beta read and ignore inaccuracies (:
Warnings: Smut (18+), Hate sex, oral m!recieving, p in v
2.5k words
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It was pretty fun being a medic on the set of Jackass. It was a boys club sure, bar the couple of female producers and crew members that worked there with you but something about being the young, attractive female medic made the guys love you. Instead of shouting “Medic!” at every injury, they’d yell “Nurse Y/n!” despite your “I’m not a nurse!” complaints. Nonetheless, you loved your job, especially since there was never a dull moment on set and you were kept pretty busy.
Although Johnny and Steve-o were your primary patients, Bam Margera had become somewhat of a regular the more skating stunts he performed. This had become sort of an issue because, well, you fucking hated Bam Margera. You got along with all of the other guys just fine, in fact you were also pretty good friends with the rest of the CKY crew but something about that blue eyed dickhead grinded your gears. He was always a nuisance to have on set, trying to annoy and distract you from your work at every possible moment. He made it his life’s mission to wind you up and piss you off and boy did he succeed in doing so! You weren’t shy in hiding your hatred for Bam, taking to dramatically groaning whenever he walked into your tent that production had set up for you. The other guys insisted Bam just had this massive crush on you and that’s why he tried to get your attention so often, god how old is he? ten? Anyways, you wouldn’t touch him with a ten foot pole.
Bam lay down, his head slightly raised, examining you wiping the blood off his abdomen. He had just done this idiotic shirtless skate stunt that ended in him eating shit and getting semi-impaled by a piece of wood jutting out of wherever he was skating. That’s how he ended up in your tent, unfortunately. “Why don’t you wear a sexy nurse costume to work Y/n? It would make this whole thing a lot easier.” You rolled your eyes, biting back a witty remark. You wouldn’t let him wind you up today. You bit your lip as you cleaned him roughly, your hand pretty close to his iconic heartagram tattoo above his crotch. You’d be lying if you said you didn’t find his tattoos wildly attractive. It was pretty juvenile of you, it’s not like you hadn’t been with people who were tatted before, but something about Bam’s ink made you feel different. Maybe it was because you hated him so much, any minor attraction was heightened by the fact you would never act on it. You accidentally brushed your fingers against the tattoo, swallowing quickly. Bam noticed you had gotten pretty flustered, a sly grin appearing on his face. He spoke your name in a suggestive, questioning manner, trying his best to meet eye contact with you but you refused to look up, rooting through your bag to look for your bandages. “Hmm?” You hmmmed through gritted teeth and tight lips. “Are you good?” He smiled some more, raising his brow and leaning up on his elbows, letting his jeans slip down his hips a bit, revealing even more of his tattoo. You cleared your throat awkwardly, your eyes clearly panning quickly down to take it in. Bam laughed outwardly now, sitting up despite your protests that you still had to fix him up. All this time you were anxiously avoiding his gaze, fearing what his face would look like if you saw it. Bam lifted your chin up by his fingers, his thumb resting on the dimple of your chin, forcing you to look at him. He had a shit eating grin on his face. You gave a disapproving look but didn’t try to pull away at first. “Y/n did you wanna ask me something?” You narrowed your eyes, genuinely confused at this suggestion. “What are you talking about?” You asked, this time not shying away from looking right at him.
With his other hand, Bam picked up your wrist from where it lay on your lap, clutching it gently then in a low voice he whispered, fairly close to your face, “Do you wanna touch my tattoo Y/n?” He smirked when he said it, knowing what effect this was going to have on you. You decided to play dumb, snatching your wrist away from his grip and avoiding eye contact once more to take a bottle of alcohol from your bag to disinfect the small wound. “Shut the fuck up Bam.” Bam laughed cockily, “Did I touch a nerve?” He then winced, hissing through his teeth when you pressed a drenched cotton pad of alcohol onto his abdomen roughly. “Ow! God, didn’t know you were into that pain stuff Nurse.” You shot Bam a disgusted look. “Try be professional for once in your life Margera.” You wiped the injury again, still pretending not to be wholly turned on by that stupid fucking tattoo. You crossed your legs tightly in an attempt to mask your horniness but Bam spotted this almost immediately. “Nurse Y/n…” He lulled suggestively, making you scoff and shake your head, getting the bandages ready to finally be done with him. He sat up some more to get closer to your face. “You know if you wanna fuck me you can just ask?”
This was the last straw, you threw your stuff onto the floor and looked him straight in the eyes, you let yourself be provoked by this arrogant bastard. “If you couldn’t tell, I’m at fucking work right now. Not that you’d know, probably never lifted a finger a day in your life.” Bam’s smile only grew at your frustration, you were giving him what he wanted. You resumed, “So maybe be professional and grow the f-“ You were cut off when Bam crashed his lips against yours abruptly, your eyes growing wild when you realised what had just happened. You pulled away, shock painted on your face. “So..?” Bam asked, a look of slight concern was hidden behind his cheeky smirk. You remained silent for what felt like years until you gave in to your girlish urges and grabbed his face to kiss him back.
You made out hard and fast, Bam sleazily slipping his tongue in far too quick, his teeth bashing against yours because of how rough he was being. You pulled away for a moment, “You’re a terrible kisser.” you spat before going straight back in. Bam laughed into your mouth, “Even when we’re making out you’re being a bitch to me.” He whispered, going right back to it afterwards. His hands were on your hips now, snaking down to grab your ass. He then lifted you up onto his lap so you were straddling him, continuing to fondle your ass. He pulled away properly now, “You like my tattoos Y/n?” He asked, brushing some hair away from your neck. You nodded now, it was too far gone to pretend you weren’t incredibly horny over some ink. Bam took your hand and pressed it against the heartagram, you rubbed it softly but it wasn’t enough. You got up off the rickety medic bed and kneeled between Bam’s legs. He laughed as his face turned redder by the second. You kissed the centre of the tattoo and licked it quickly. “God Y/n, when’d you get so fucking dirty?” You glared at Bam from below him before getting to work on his stupid heartagram belt. “You’re fast.” Bam’s witty remark was followed by a groan when you grabbed his semi-hard cock through his jeans. “Keep that up and I’ll bite your dick off Margera.” Bam cleared his throat, “Yes Ma’am.”
You pulled his jeans down as much as you needed before pulling his dick out. You tried not to whimper upon seeing it, you still had to have some dignity left after you were done with him. You spit on the tip and started pumping him teasingly slow, earning a few whimpers from Bam. You then took his tip in your mouth, tracing it with your tongue and tasting the precum that now filled your mouth. “God you’re such a fucking tease, do you know that?” You narrowed your brows before taking him in all the way, that shut him up nicely. Despite your best efforts, you couldn’t deep throat Bam all the way and Bam could tell you were getting frustrated. “What’s the matter babe? Can’t fit all of me in?” You glared at him again, this time letting your teeth graze his dick as a sort of warning. Bam grabbed a fistful of your hair, pulling you off him. “Ay, play nice.” Bam then gathered your hair into a makeshift ponytail and shifted up on the bed to get a good angle. You wrapped your lips around his cock once more as Bam eased you gently down. Eventually he got your mouth pressed against his base, humming in pleasure as you started gagging. You breathed through you nose as tears started to form and fall down your cheeks, the feeling of his dick at the back of your throat was becoming uncomfortable. You looked up at Bam who was biting his lip and giving you an almost sadistic look. It became apparent, Bam was not gonna let you up any time soon. “Nice hearing you shut the fuck up for once Y/n.” He laughed when your eyebrows narrowed. You murmured against his dick, the vibrations making Bam moan, only enjoying it more. “Does it feel good? You’re close to that tattoo you love so much now.” Bam was really loving the fact he could say whatever he wanted without you snapping back at him. You were beginning to struggle now, feeling your saliva drip down your chin and your mascara running. You slapped his thigh as a way of saying ‘let me the fuck up now.” “Just two more seconds.” Bam sighed, screwing his eyes tight, trying to prolong the moment a little longer. He let your hair go and you pulled off his dick immediately, breathing heavily. “Are you trying to fucking kill me Bam?” You wiped the dribble from your face and cleared your throat. “What a way to go it would be.” He laughed, earning him a smack on the knee.
You got up then, a little unsure of what to do next before Bam pulled you into him and kissed you. He fumbled with the bottom of your shirt so you pulled it off, letting him undo your bra and touch your boobs. “Nice tits.” He whispered after pulling away for a moment just to look at them. The whole thing was a little awkward given the fact Bam still had his dick out but the situation was fixed when Bam got off the bed and hoisted you onto it instead, slotting between your legs. Bam unbuttoned your pants blindly and helped you push them off your legs along with your panties, leaving both of you in the nude, Bam’s pants being kicked off onto the floor. It was very risky. I mean technically speaking anyone could walk in at any moment even if it was lunch but hopefully nobody would be maimed or seriously injured in the time it took for the two of you to bang. Bam held onto you hips as you continued making out. Using his other hand, he ran his fingers through your folds. “God you’re fucking soaked.” He pulled away to examine the slick left on his fingers. “Was it my tattoo that got you this wet baby.” You rolled your eyes despite the fact he was right. “Just fuck me already Bam.” He shrugged “Don’t have to tell me twice.” And with that he slid himself inside you.
You winced as he stretched you out, burying your nails into his shoulders to distract yourself from the pain. Bam stayed still for a second before slowly thrusting, trying to get you used to the feeling. Not before long, the pain turned to pleasure as your groans switched to moans. You pushed Bam’s waist into you forcefully as if it say ‘go faster’. He heard you out and started to pick up the pace, slamming his hips against yours. “Didn’t know you were such a fucking slut Y/n, getting fucked at work? You’re a fucking whore aren’t you?” In any other situation, you would’ve smacked Bam in the face, wanting him to shut the fuck up. But in this position, getting fucked by the guy you hated most, his dirty talk turned you on to no extent. “All for a tattoo is that right?” You nodded as you moaned, your eyes half lidded and slightly out of it. Bam grabbed your chin forcefully, making you look at him. “Answer me.” You moaned again, “Yes, fuck yes Bam.” Bam smiled sadistically, he had you at his mercy. This girl that despised him and yelled at him day in and day out was submitting to him. He held the small of your back and began ramming into you at a relentless pace. He grunted and groaned almost harmonising with your whiny noises. “You like getting fucked by me huh?” His degrading was getting sloppy as he felt himself get closer and closer to his climax. Not wanting to wait anymore he brought his thumb down to your clit and started rubbing it quick, attempting to bring you to edge with him. “Are you gonna cum for me Nurse Y/n?” You nodded your head dramatically, muttering a thousand yes’ under your breath. Bam grabbed your throat with his other hand. “Go on.” With that you orgasmed loudly, digging your nails into Bam’s back, not caring if anyone could hear you at this point. Soon after, Bam pulled out and came on your stomach, you winced at the feeling of it painting you.
You both remained in silence again, just your panting breaths filling the room. The embarrassment of what had just happened sunk into you. How the fuck did he get you to submit to him?! You got up quickly, finding a rag to clean Bam’s cum off of you and wiping your heat with it briefly. Bam continued to look at you, not bothering to get dressed himself as you struggled to get your jeans on, your panties uncomfortably wet. “Can you get your clothes on and get out of here before someone walks in?!” You spat, throwing Bam’s jeans at him. “Unbelievable” He scoffed, shaking his head. You glared at him, pulling your shirt back over your head. “What? You think just because you made me cum I’m gonna be all nice to you now?” You tried your best to fix your hair and makeup in the shitty mirror in the corner of the tent. “No no, it’s not that.” You looked back at Bam with a ‘what are you talking about?’ look. “It’s just…” Bam gestured at his abdomen. “You didn’t even bandage me up.” You looked at his injury and sure enough he was right. Because of all the excitement you forgot to actually do what you were supposed to. Though you hated the kid, you laughed, and so did he.
Hey, would you write a Ryan Dunn fic where Ryan and the reader have been friends since the cky days and the reader is their photographer and has been taking pictures of them forever and eventually becomes like the official photographer for jackass but her favourite person to take pictures of is Ryan and there’s all this tension between them because they’re best friends and neither realizes they’re totally in love with one another, and the tension builds until they have sex and confess to being in to one another
Photos Of You [Ryan Dunn x F!Reader]
Desc: Anon covered it all!
A/n: i LOVE this ask thank you sm!🫶🫶 tbh this didn’t end up in the direction i thought it would but hope you enjoy anyways!
warnings: smut (18+), p in v, public sex (sort of)
2.2k words
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“Smile!” You jeered, snapping a candid of Ryan and Johnny shoving and punching each other. “Hey you didn’t get my good side!” Johnny complained, pushing Dunn off of him and wandering over to you. “Could never shoot you bad PJ.” He laughed and threw his arm around your shoulder, guiding you away from Ryan and the rest of the crew. “You’re too kind sweetheart. So listen, are we gonna address the elephant in the room or what?” You narrowed your brows and laughed awkwardly. “What elephant?” Johnny took his arm off of you and turned to face you, raising his brows. “C’mon. The Ryan Dunn shaped elephant.” You laughed breathily. “What about Ryan?” Johnny took his bottom lip between his teeth and smiled. “Seems like the only time I see you snapping with this thing is when it’s with him.” He grabbed the lens of your camera and you scoffed. “That’s barely true. I shoot everyone!” Johnny shook his head, “Big Brother editors have to scour to find a picture you took without Ryan.” You rolled your eyes. “Alright so what? You getting camera jealous Knox?” You elbowed him in the ribs playfully. “Nah that’s not what this is about.” Johnny moved closer to you and spoke low. “You love him don’t you?” You laughed dramatically, trying to overshadow the pink that was beginning to spread across your cheeks. “Are you on something? No I don’t love Ryan.” Johnny tutted. “Alright plead the fifth. I’m just saying since it’s right in front of everyone’s eyes. And I don’t believe it’s one sided either.” You bit your lip. “Well what do you mean by that?” Johnny grinned stupidly. “Knew it.” He began walking towards the crew again laughing as you chased him down. “No, no. That does not mean I love him! I just wanna know what you mean!” Johnny kept looking in front of him, shaking his head. “You’re unbelievable.”
Johnny wasn’t wrong. About 90% of your work was Ryan but that wasn’t your fault. He was just so beautiful to photograph. You could never take a bad picture of him, his cute button nose and his curly hair, blond or brunet it looked good. But you weren’t in love with him or anything. You had known Ryan for years, what with being the designated photographer for the CKY crew and Jackass now that they landed a movie deal. You guys were best friends and had been forever. It was only natural you were more drawn to photograph him than the others. That’s what you told yourself anyhow.
“Hey.” You spoke, not looking up from your computer as you greeted the blond walking into your room at Bam’s house. “Whatcha doing?” He asked throwing himself onto the bed. “Come take a look at these shots, they’re just for the Jackassworld site but I think they’re cool.” Ryan pushed himself off of your mattress and leaned down to take a look, his head resting on your shoulder. “Nice.” He muttered as you showed him. “That’s a good one of you.” You pointed out a specific one of him with his curly hair all messy, a pair of aviators framing his face. “They’re all good ones of me.” You laughed but he was honestly right. “You’re easy to shoot.” Ryan kissed your cheek roughly to make you laugh, “You flattering me to get in my pants cam girl?” You rolled your eyes. “Cam girl? Really?” He laughed and plonked down on the bed once more. “Yeah, new nickname I’m trying out. You like it?” You spun yourself around on your office chair and shook your head. “Not my favourite.”
You admired your best friend lying nonchalantly on your bed and your head began swarming with Johnny’s words from a couple days prior. “Johnny said something funny to me the other day.” The words fell out of your mouth before you even considered them. “Oh?” Ryan urged you to continue. “Yeah. He insisted I must be in love with you since I shoot you so much. Isn’t that weird?” You laughed awkwardly but the joke wasn’t really funny. “Huh.” Ryan said, narrowing his brows, silence now filling the room. You fidgeted with your hands. “Well are you?” You looked up, confused at the rather bold question. “What?” Ryan scooted to the edge of the bed. “Are you in love with me cam girl?” He stretched out the love word mockingly and you shook your head laughing. “No I’m not in love with you. Sorry to bruise your ego. Why? You in love with me? Cause’ Johnny also insinuated it may be reciprocated.” You moved your brows up and down jokingly as Ryan laughed and shook his head as well. “Can’t say I am.” You regretted ever bringing up Johnnys words as now tension was building. Tension you hated and never wanted to address. So you didn’t, you bathed in it for months.
It was promo time for Jackass: The Movie and as the official Jackass photographer you were stringed along with the boys. Unfortunately much of it involved sitting in a chair uncomfortably while the crew did press, bored out of your mind. You sat in on one interview with Ryan, Bam, Chris and Steve-o from behind the camera, sipping on a bitter black coffee and making casual conversation with some lighting guy. You zoned out of the small talk to listen in on a question, it was about girls or something you presumed fro Chris and Steve-o’s giggly answers. And then it was Ryan. “I mean, yeah I guess I’ve gotten more girls since the show. Not a girlfriend or anything but yeah.” He said awkwardly, clearly a little uncomfortable. “And were they hotter than before fame?” The interviewer pushed, the other guys laughing awkwardly but Ryan just scratched the back of his head. His eyes flashed over to yours for just a second and you realised you probably looked like you’d been slapped in the face unintentionally. You weren’t sure why but Ry talking about other girls always made you feel a little uneasy. “Sure, I guess.” He spoke, clearing his throat right after. You poured the rest of the coffee down your throat and excused yourself to get more, walking off almost in a huff.
You cursed yourself for being so awkward about the whole thing, you probably made it so apparent that you were what, jealous? That was fucking stupid. You fumbled with the coffee pot as you heard the interviewer thank the guys and everyone get up to prepare for the next one. “Hey.” Behind you Ryan lingered. “Hey.” You replied, trying not to make eye contact just yet. “Can I talk to you?” Your cheeks started burning. “Yeah, what’s up?” You put the paper cup down and turned around to wait for him to say whatever he was going to say. Ryan looked almost more embarrassed than you, his nose a cute red. “Like in private.” You found that kind of weird seeing as there was no one around you that could possibly hear your conversation but shrugged anyways. “Okay.”
You followed Ryan into some green room, there was a thirty minute break until the next interview seeing as they had been doing them consecutively for a good few hours. He shut the door and you sat on the couch. “Are you okay?” You asked, Ryan had become even more jittery and nervous than he was a couple seconds before, he sat beside you. “Are we good?” You narrowed your brows and laughed nervously. “Well yeah, why wouldn’t we be?” He looked serious, quiet. “Ryan?” “I’ve been thinking about what you said about what Johnny said.” You scratched the back of your head and spoke lowly. “Oh.” The tension could be cut with a knife. “I’m tired of pretending it’s all fine.” Your face stiffened. Ryan looked at you dead in the eyes, “He’s right, I do love you. And I don’t know if you love me but-“ You cut him off with a kiss. Hands on the sides of his face, rough kiss. He reciprocated immediately, barely flinching. Your lips moved in sync and you moved over to be closer to him as his hands gripped your waist, fingers slipping under you shirt to touch your flesh. Your arms found themselves around his neck before Ryan leaned down to lay you on your back on the couch. His rough kisses continued before he pulled away and began kissing down your neck.
You whimpered softly as he nipped at it, sending shivers down your spine. “Ryan.” You muttered as he continued. “Ryan we’re in a fucking green room.” The man pulled away and grinned. “S’fine, I told some intern to not let anyone in.” You laughed, “What so you knew we were gonna fuck in here?!” Ryan laughed and kissed your neck again, “No, just thought the conversation was gonna map out a little longer than this.” You grinned but allowed him to continue, his hands moving down to rub you over your jeans, a bold move. You moaned and grabbed his shoulders in surprise. “Jesus, just fuck me they’ll need you again soon.” Ryan smiled stupidly, “So eager.” He unbuttoned you pants and helped you out of them before unbuckling his own and pulling them down enough so his dick could be free. He linked his fingers underneath the band of your panties and pulled them down quickly, still kissing your mouth and your neck. He began jacking himself off a bit after spitting into his hand to get himself a little harder before running his tip in between your folds. You moaned at the feeling before remembering where you were. Were you really gonna let Ryan fuck you for the first time in some random green room in LA? Then he pushed into you and the answer was clear, yes. You slapped your hand over your mouth to smother your noises but Ry moved it off of you, replacing it with his lips as he started to move. You moved your hand down to grip his waist as he fucked into you quickly. You weren’t expecting him to be so harsh for the first time but god you weren’t complaining. The passion was just what you needed as you moaned and whimpered into his mouth, the couch creaking under the weight and movements of the two of you. You pulled away from Ryan’s mouth to whisper one thing, “Harder.” He listened. It was proving more difficult to conceal your moans so Ryan resorted to putting his own hand over your lips. “Sssshhhh, you want the intern to hear me fuck you? Huh?” You shook your head, tear beginning to fall down your cheek from the pleasure.
“You love me?” You waited a moment before nodding your head. He took his hand off of your mouth and placed it on your cheek instead. “Yes.” You breathed out. He smiled. “Yeah? Love me enough to let me fuck you on a random couch?” Ryan’s dirty talk was doing its job as his words went straight to your heat. You nodded again but he grabbed your face to look you in the eyes. “Yes.” You whispered and he smiled and kissed you. “I love you too. Now will you come for me?” You nodded desperately for what felt like the hundredth time. Ryan’s pace quickened as you felt your orgasm quickly approaching. You were surprised when the band in your stomach snapped before you realised, releasing an involuntary moan loud enough for anyone outside to hear. Ryan slapped his hand over you mouth quickly but it was far too late. You didn’t even care in the moment, too enamoured in the feeling spreading through your body to be embarrassed. Ryan bit his lip and shook his head. “Can you be quiet while I come? Where do you want it?” He uncovered your mouth and you smiled, blissed out. “Come in me.” Ryan laughed and kissed you. “God why didn’t we do this before.” His hips snapped quickly, fingers digging into your sides before he stilled, spilling into you with a suppressed groan.
It wasn’t longer than a minute before Ryan was out of you and pulling his pants back up. You just lay there, catching your breath in an awed out haze. Ryan laughed and tried to help you pull your pants back up. You sat up and pulled them back on, feeling a little uncomfortable and a little turned on by the feeling of his cum slowly slipping out of you. “What are your bets the interns gonna be traumatised?” Ryan laughed at your witty commentary and used his thumb to rub the mascara stain off your cheek. “I’d love to take a picture of you like this.” He murmured. “Oh god.” You groaned when you realised everyone in that set would know you’d just been fucked upon inspection of your blotchy blush and messed up makeup. “It’s fine.” Ryan said when he understood your complaints. “You’ll never see those people again anyways.” You stared blankly at him. “Chris, Steve, Bam.” Ryan muffled his laughter with his hand, the same one that had muffled your moans earlier. “It’s not funny.” You slapped your best friend while laughing yourself before your head snapped over to see someone opening the door slowly. “They’re ready for you Ryan.” A shaky young voice sounded, too terrified to even dare look inside the room that now probably reeked of sex. You both laughed heartily, Ryan thanking the poor kid.
need a place to keep all my fics so it’s easy for people to find (: i’ll write for anyone listed below and maybe more if you want to dm or send me a request for someone that’s totally cool! i won’t write any *weird* kinks or anything so if you request something i’m uncomfortable with i’ll just ignore it.
I write for Jackass/CKY/Viva La bam/Haggard/ HIM etc.
Desc: You’re Dico’s sister and Ryan shows up at your house when he wasn’t around. You get to talking and turns out maybe not all of your brothers friends are assholes.
A/n: Remarkably the first proper Ryan fic I’ve written ?
Warnings: mentions of sex & alcohol
1.3k words
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It was Friday and you were home alone for once. Your friends had all bailed on you yet again so you were left to the old sweatpants and VHS tapes. As soon as you were settled on the couch, remote in hand ready to watch Thelma and Louise, your doorbell rang. You groaned, that better not be Brandon back already. You huffed and paused the film before it even began, getting up to answer it. You swung the door open, glaring the ringer until you realised it wasn’t your annoying older brother, but his cute friend, Ryan. Your eyes widened, embarrassed you had answered with such haughtiness. “Oh shit, sorry. I thought you were Brandon.” Ryan simply laughed you off. “It’s alright, so I take it he’s not here then.” You shook your head, suddenly very aware you were only dressed in old sweats and a tight fitting tank top. “He’s not but, he should be here in like half an hour if you wanna wait it out?” Ryan scratched the back of his neck and sighed, unsure. You admired his button nose and his blond hair. He was probably the cutest of your brothers friends. Sure there was Bam but he was just the asshole kid in your grade that used to make your life so very hard when he was still in school, along with Chris. You were constantly called stuck up and a smart ass just cause’ you weren’t failing every class but whatever. Ryan was pretty much the only nice one to you, but you still regarded him as a bit of an ass by association.
“Uhhh I don’t know.” You sighed at his response, opening the door wider to let him through. “Just come in.” He shrugged, and let himself wander in, scuffing his shoes off of the mat once you shut the door. Manners, who would’ve thought? You lead him in to your living room and gestured that he sat. “Beer?” You asked but Ryan just shook his head, sinking into the couch. You sat down on the opposite end and tucked your legs beneath you. “So what are you and Brandon doing?” Ryan laughed under his breath, “What?” You smiled, trying to understand the humour. “No it’s just, it’s kinda funny you call him Brandon. So formal.” You scoffed, “Would you rather I call him Dico as you guys have so graciously blessed him? Cause’ it’s a bit weird seeing as my last name is also DiCamillo if you haven’t forgotten.” Ryan shrugged. “It was just an observation.” The silence was awkward after that. Why’d you have to be such a dick all the time? “Sorry, I get defensive kinda quick.” Ryan nodded. “I think that just comes with having an asshole for a brother.” You spoke, laughing awkwardly. “He’s not always bad.” Ryan said and you shrugged. “Yeah I know. His friends kind of are though.” You looked up at Ryan, grinning stupidly. “Ouch.” He mouthed, mimicking a knife stabbing into his heart.
“Have to admit though, out of all my brother’s asshole friends, you’re probably my favourite.” Ryan smiled, you even thought you could see a blush creep up on his face. “Yeah?” You smiled and nodded silently. “Well for the record I never thought you were stuck up either.” You folded your arms and laughed. “Thanks so much, glad that’s still spreading around.” Ryan grinned. “Only by Dico, and sort of Bam and Raab too.” You shook your head, “God they were such assholes to me in high school.” Ryan’s face faltered, “I’m sorry about that. We were all kind of dickheads back then.” You shrugged. “Well I don’t cry myself to sleep anymore so, apology accepted.” Ryan’s face faltered even more if that were possible. “I’m sorry.” You laughed awkwardly. “I’m kidding, It was never that bad.” He sighed with relief. You bit your lip then, a bit of courage coursing through your veins as you shifted closer to the blond. “You know, I also always thought you were the cuter one.” Ryan let out a breathy laugh. “You’re on thin ice DiCamillo.” You smiled, “Bet that’s not the first time you’ve said that sentence.” Ryan bit his lip and shook his head. “Don’t remind me who you’re related to.” You pushed his hair off his forehead, moving even close to him now. “Whys that?” Ryan’s eyes flashed from your lips to your eyes. “Cause’ it’ll make what I’m about to do a bit more regrettable.” Then he leaned in and met your lips with his own, hand resting against your cheek.
You moved slowly in time with his lips, soft and plump. You shifted your body closer to his and brought your hand up to his jaw, brushing your thumb over it gently. Ryan began moving quicker now, opening your mouth wider to make out properly. Then he brought his hands down to your waist and moved you so that he was on top of you, never breaking the kiss. As he lay above you, hands tracing your neck you felt a swipe of his tongue on your lip and you opened, accepting it. You made out roughly with tongue, grasping his face to prolong it as long as possible. His hands wandered down to your tits, groping them softly through the material of your tank top. Your mind clouded, completely forgetting where you were as you reached down to undo Ryan’s belt, whimpering quietly into his mouth. Once you began unzipping his pants you heard the front door swing open and almost jumped out of your skin. Ryan quickly clambered off of you as you broke the kiss but it was too late. Brandon walked in on a hot make out sesh between his best friend and his sister.
“WHAT THE FUCK?!” He yelled, still stood half outside, looking in at the two of you in the living room. Ryan quickly zipped up his pants and scrambled to buckle his belt once more which just made everything worse. “Why the fuck are you making out with my SISTER RYAN?! AND WHY THE FUCK IS YOUR DICK OUT?!” You adjusted your tank top and wiped Ryan’s saliva from your lips. “His dick isn’t out jesus christ.” Brandon slammed the door shut and darted into the room. “No! I will hear nothing from you! Ryan, what the fuck?!” You looked over to the poor guy who’s face was as red as a tomato. “I’m sorry. Look we weren’t… you know…” “Fucking?!” Dico interrupted, his hand gestures dramatic and exaggerated. “God it’s not that big a deal Brandon chill out!” Brandon shook his head. “No this is a big deal. I fucking knew you’d date one of them and now you’ve fucked it! She’s too young for you Ryan!” You snickered now despite the tension in the room. “I’m two years younger Bran.” Brandon shook his head, his anger fading slightly. “Doesn’t matter! You guys are fucking gross.” Then he stood awkwardly, not sure what to do after his dramatic meltdown. “Well, now just. Just don’t make out!” He turned his back then and headed to his room.
After hearing the door slam you couldn’t help but laugh. Properly laugh. Ryan looked less amused. You hit his arm playfully. “Don’t look like that, he’ll get over it.” Ryan shook his head. “He just walked in on me with my pants undone on top of you Y/n.” You giggled again, covering your mouth. “Ah it wasn’t that bad.” Ryan just looked at you, shaking his head. You leaned in and pecked him again, smile still playing on your lips. “Don’t tell me you regret it now.” Ryan smiled too, “Nah.” he kissed you again, your lips resuming the rhythm they once had. “FUCKING STOP!” Brandon had emerged from his room unbeknownst to you. You pulled away and both just laughed, even Dico looked a little amused. “I am going to smack both of you.”
A/n: been a while… like a WHILE while. getting wayyy back into cky properly again because oct-nov was so much fun i wanna go back everyone come back. COME BAAACK
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Dico: Welcome to Radio Bam Sirius 28 Faction everyone! The sluttiest radio show on air. Tonight we got the hottest of hot pants and the whore herself Y/n! Of course we have the only one even whorier than hot pants, Brandon Novak, Raab Himself, Joe Frantz, myself of course and the one you’re all here for, Baaaaaam Margera!
Y/n: These intros are getting repetitive.
Dico: You try it next time hot pants.
Y/n: Alright I will.
Bam: That’s gonna be shit.
Y/n: Whatever. Anyways why am I even being compared to Novak of all people on the whore thing. He fucks a new girl every day I just have sex with people I know!
Raab: Yeah see that’s worse.
Y/n: How is that worse?!
Novak: Cause’ I fuck a broad, and then I never see her again! I don’t know her friends, she doesn’t know mine. It’s perfect.
Frantz: Yeah now two of the guys in the crew have seen your tits.
Bam: Actually I’ve seen her tits too.
Raab: Same.
Novak: Come again?
Y/n: Guys you are not helping my case it was a DARE!
Novak: Why am I never invited to these truth or dares?!
Y/n: This was like four years ago, we were drunk, Bam the sleaze dared me to flash my tits. End of.
Dico: Well that’s not exactly it.
Y/n: Don’t.
Bam: We made out!
Frantz: Ah the old new years smooch.
Frantz: Ah the old new years smooch.
Y/n: For the record, Bam is a terrible kisser.
Bam: That is not true!
Y/n: He’s all tongue and teeth ladies!
Bam: Maybe it was true four years ago.
Raab: That is not that long ago.
Frantz: Bam was 21 making out like a 13 year old.
Novak: You would know.
Frantz: Alright ‘life partner’.
Bam: It’s an endearing term!
Dico: Were we not gonna delve into the history of Y/n with pro skaters?
Bam: Fuck yes we are.
Y/n: Uh oh.
Bam: Well we know you’ve fucked-
Y/n: Hey! Some of those guys have girlfriends now! They don’t want their business aired out on live radio!
Raab: Well they didn’t have girlfriends when you fucked them.
Y/n: I don’t actually know that for sure.
Bam: More whoring!!!
Y/n: Hey, that’s on them not me. I’ve never knowingly been a home wrecker.
Frantz: That’s definitely not true.
Raab: I know for a fact that’s not true.
Y/n: What the fuck are you talking about?
Dico: Hot pants has forgotten spring break 99.
Y/n: Oh god that does not count!
Novak: Ooooh I wanna know about spring break baby who’d you fuck?
Y/n: I didn't even fuck anyone!
Bam: Almost.
Y/n: Yeah well that’s not fucking is it?!
Frantz: Tell your story Y/n we know you want to.
Y/n: It’s not even a story. Basically we were at the Jersey Shore for spring break. Luxury, I know. And we were at this bar with our dumb fucking fake IDs and I met this guy who said he had a girlfriend but she was a bitch or something.
Dico: That's what they all say.
Y/n: Yeah well I was drunk and he wasn’t ugly so we started making out or whatever but then I felt a fucking cold, sticky-ass drink go down my back and I turn around and get a slap in the fucking face by some bitch!
Frantz: The bitch being the girlfriend?
Y/n: Yeah! Who the fuck makes out with a girl in the same vicinity as his girlfriend?! Fucking asshole.
Bam: You’re missing out the part where the two of you got into a bitch fight and I had to tear you off of her.
Novak: *Rawwr*
Y/n: Yeah I scratched up that bitches face but only cos she poured a fucking drink on me not because of her scummy boyfriend, she could have his ugly ass.
Raab: Well you made out with him.
Y/n: Yeah I didn’t fucking wed him Raab.
Frantz: I feel bad for your future husband Y/n.
Dico: He has a field of dicks to be compared to.
Y/n: Haha. That wouldn’t even be the issue, I’m fucking friends with the field.
Bam: Speaking of the field, field fucker, you gotta talk about at least one pro skater you’ve fucked.
Novak: Yeah come on baby I wanna hear.
Y/n: Why are you guys so obsessed with my sex life?
Novak: I’d be more obsessed if I was in it sweetheart.
Y/n: In your dreams Novak.
Novak: My wet dreams at least ooohaahhh.
Frantz: Come on Y/n who’d you bang?
Y/n: I can’t name drop on air.
Dico: Oh fuck off I’ve name dropped countless times.
Y/n: Yeah but my whores are known Dico.
Bam: I know one person you could say.
Y/n: I already know who you’re talking about and no.
Bam: Ah come on Tim was a nice bed I’m sure
Y/n: Oh you fucking asshole Bam I’m gonna kill you.
Novak: You fucked Tim O’Connor?! And not me?!
Y/n: Yeah cause’ he’s hot?
Novak: That’s low babe.
Dico: Every episode hot pants has to talk about at least one person she’s banged.
Y/n: I haven’t banged that many people Dico.
Bam: It’s fine, when you run out of episodes you can hump Novak.
Novak: Now that’s a good idea!
Dico: You gotta do a review too, rate Tim in the sack outta ten.
Y/n: Well hey now, doesn't this mean I get to rate you too?
Raab: Fucking zero then.
Frantz: You know from experience?
Y/n: Well I do and yeah it was a solid 1.
Bam: Damn not zero?
Y/n: One pity point.
Dico: I’d like to put it out there that that was an outlying event.
Frantz: Yeah Raab can give us an updated review.
*Room laughs*
Bam: Okay everyone shut the fuck up, Y/n rate Tim.
Y/n: I’m not doing that.
Dico: Booooo.
Novak: I’d be a 10/10 for you babe.
Y/n: Alright fine. He was like a solid 8.
Bam: Damn why only 8?
Y/n: 8 is a lot! He was good but like it wasn’t the best I’ve ever had. He sweats a lot.
