@sigmaleph @moral-autism @ellieintheskywithdiamonds @hyperionnebulae :
so there are a handful of facts that are relevant here:
- in the late 1920s and early 1930s, Edward Cullen left his “family” to become a Dark Avenging Vampire Vigilante. He had some disagreements with Carlisle, left in a teenage snit, and proceeded to eat people and brood for a few years before getting lonely/homesick and going back home.
(yes, this is twilight canon. yes, it is a much more interesting story than the ‘main’ twilight plot. this is a recurring thing with twilight.)
- Robert Pattinson is playing Batman in the newest Batman TV show.
- Thomas and Martha Wayne- at least the Elseworlds versions of them that keep cropping up in the comics- were completely batfuck insane.
- “Ned” is an old-timey nickname for Edward. I tend to use it to refer to my!Edward, as distinct from the canon version.
the AU proper takes place in the BTAS-style “year of the Rat”. it’s not exactly the ‘30s, but it’s not exactly modern-day America either.
Alfred Pennyworth, in addition to being ex-military/ex-CIA/ex-a lot of scary things, is a Twipire. when the Wayne parents died, he spirited Bruce away, never to be seen again. Ned knows this, on account of “there aren’t very many Twipires, so the scene is pretty small and rumours get around quick, even to the kinda-isolated Cullens”.
A few years later, Ned has his snitfit and leaves the Cullens. The Cullens know a guy who fakes them identity paperwork, so he goes to him with a slightly ... ambitious request.
There are a couple things a vampire vigilante needs: privacy, $$$, and enough social position that no one questions what the fuck you’re doing. “Bruce Wayne”, with his money and privilege, would be a perfect fit.
With fake ID documents, Ned makes his way to Gotham. he makes up some cock-and-bull story about having ~studied in Asia~. Gotham’s corrupt enough that no one cares about whether his paperwork is fake, and he is soon instated as the master of Wayne Manor.
Ned’s plan is to stick around for maybe ten years max- save lives, donate large amounts of money to hospitals out of guilt, and take a literal bite out of crime- fake his death, leave ‘his’ money to himself, and move on to another city. the bat-costume is a slightly bitter joke as well as a way to further hide his identity.
you know what they say about the best-laid plans.
Ned really only needs to eat one person a month or so, so he does a lot of Actual Crime Fighting on top of everything else. the boy has a case of Catholic guilt that makes Daredevil look well-adjusted; he’s trying to expiate his other crimes.
so the first problem is the costumed crooks that start popping up after a costumed crimefighter starts doing his thing. Ned mostly tries to deal with them humanely, because ... like, a bank robber isn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things, and most of them are tragic and/or ridiculous. but it makes Batman much more of a public figure than Ned ever intended him to be.
the next problem is Dick Greyson, Age 12. Dick Greyson Age 12 is a small human battering ram. he is suicidally brave and stubborn, and no matter how hard Ned tries to get him away from the case of his parents’ murder, he insists on helping. Ned feels bad for his fellow orphan, and eventually winds up adopting Dick, against his better judgement.
things progress from there pretty similarly to how they do for ‘regular’ Batman. fighting crime, adopting children, hOW MANY KIDS DO YOU HAVE NOW “BRUCE” PUT SOME OF THEM BACK. he is very much a brooding hero
the biggest wrinkles are, of course, Damian Wayne and the return of The Actual Bruce Wayne. but this post has gone on long enough.... want me to continue?