#conflict avoidance

[defensive-tactics]

Threat Awareness can help you avoid dangerous situations.

[fleshengine]

At a certain level I understand the girls that go "sorry sorry sorry" about nothing. I feel it too sometimes. I'm going about my day, I say something or don't say something, and my brain balloons it out into this great and terrible thing. Usually what helps me the most is recognizing that the person I'm talking to would tell me if I had done something wrong. I choose to trust in their abilities as a communicator and self-advocate. I trust that they would not lie to me. Sometimes I trust someone to tell me if I have hurt them, and they don't tell me, and later I learn that I hurt them. That sucks. But I can't be expected to apologize for things I didn't know about. I apologize when I learn, and I try to do better. But I wait to be told that I have messed up.

I think it's a symptom of conflict avoidance really. If you're the kind of person who would rather bottle up every grievance you have with someone, than tell them and resolve it, you're more likely to believe others are doing the same. Which they are, part of existing in society is occasionally having your toes stepped on on the train. We all bug each other a little bit, that's fine. For most people, small things don't matter, but big things get talked about. Conflict avoidant people just have a different perception of what's small and what's big. They won't talk about how they're being hurt, unless it's really dire. But this colors their perception for when other people display displeasure with something they've done. Because if you're showing you've been hurt at all, then it must have been terrible. So they'll apologize profusely when you randomly let out a heavy sigh in their vicinity. Or think they did something wrong when you get quiet.

It's me, I'm conflict avoidant people.

[transcendentalmaggot]

[handmedownpocketpussy]

I hate to break it to you but if you avoid conflict to the point of ghosting people instead of seeing what's causing the vibes to be off, you're going to be very stressed out by all friendships

Not all friendships are rosy and humans will always fuck up. I work with a lot of young 20 somethings and I watch as their social lives implode over and over again because they just don't want to reach out or have any amount of conflict.

It's so hard on them and the fix is so simple (talk to the other person!) That im posting here in the hopes it helps someone else

Human brains love to build things up in isolation-- the only way to find out if your conspiracy theories about your friend are correct is interacting with them, sorry to break it to you

Im begging you to communicate and not over text it's hard and it's stressful but you gotta rip the bandaid off

You got this!

[lilyminer]

Whenever I feel the need to confront my friend about doing something which upsets me I always first think “Before I accuse them of this am I a hypocrite? Am I being a bad friend to them without realizing it and only noticing because I am only now receiving the treatment I’ve been dishing out?”

And with full honesty the answer is usually yes, because I have amazing friends but those friends rightfully know their own worth. And it’s an effective system because once I’m aware of that pattern I just change my actions and then I almost immediately see the result which a more aggressive approach might never have gotten me.

So that’s +1 point for conflict avoidance!

and -1 point for resorting to anger!

[britcision]

So lemme tell you a secret

Most people you meet in a day are at least a little conflict averse. Most people do not want to make a scene

People who know this and are not averse to making a scene can become fucking unstoppable, and many of them use this power for evil

You can stop them in their goddamn tracks about 55% of the time by doing your best impression of someone who is not conflict averse

If someone comes up to you and you have any feeling they wanna give you a bad time, do not greet them quietly

Greet them loudly, as loudly as they greet you if not a little louder

This tells them they can’t make you back down or give in on the threat of drawing attention; a good chunk of the time, they will not want attention themselves if you’re the one drawing it

You don’t need to be confrontational or aggressive; just turn, greet them as normal, and up the volume just enough to show you’re not hiding or scared of loud noises

(This does not need to be true so long as you fake it well)

Note: this is not a guarantee, but honestly if they were gonna give you a hard time and draw attention they were probably gonna do that anyway

Stay cool, stay polite, and don’t let them intimidate you into whispering to avoid creating a scene. If they wanna make a scene, let them play the villain

[heartvibelove]

How To Build Trust In Relationship

Trust In Relationship

Are you feeling overwhelmed by constant arguments, emotional disconnect, or the scars left by past conflicts? You're not alone. Every relati

[the-uncanny-dag]

It's just me & the posts putting conflict avoidance on blast against the world