okay, i have a really long story from this evening that i need to share.
so today at rehearsal, people volunteered to bring more potluck-style snacks, since we were there all afternoon. yāallā¦ my tummy hurts so bad right now.
luckily, we didnāt have to be in our concert uniforms, so i didnāt have to worry about my full, bloated belly pressing against the buttons of my dress shirt. six days of meals stuck in your tummy is a lot of food, and it was already heavy behind my belly button. i wore my baggiest sweater so i could practice without getting distracted by the strain of a shirt around my swollen, heavy belly.
once we were finished with our music, we got to relax in the dressing room area and eat while the other choir rehearsed.
my dear, sweet friend K brought about two dozen enormous homemade chocolate-oat muffins. you know the kind with the big, fluffy tops?
now if you know me, you know that i both hate wasting food and hate seeing people upset. K made so many beautiful muffins, and nobody had hardly touched them! she looked so sad, and kept nudging me towards her overflowing tray, and i really just didnāt have the heart to refuse. not for lack of trying though, i mean, i tried to explain that my belly was kinda upset, but after ten minutes of people picking at her muffins and her not-so-subtle hintsā
āi worked so hard on them, and only two people have even tried themā¦ā
ādo you like muffins? i made so many, iām probably just gonna throw them away if no one eats themā¦ā
āyou should try one! you love my baking, donāt you?ā (i do, she made brownies about a month ago and i ate three of them)
āyou should at least try one, just a bite!ā
i crumbled.
it was delicious, too. i have no idea why people were passing them up. i was only gonna have a bite since my tummy has been so sore and swollen, but i just couldnāt help myself. after the second one, my stomach was rumbling, my whole belly still uncomfortably full from everything thatās been sitting in it for days. it made K so happy though, she kept thanking me for trying them and telling her how much i liked them! it was so cute, and i just wanted to keep making her feel better.
when another few minutes passed and nobody else took one, she offered me another, and when i tried to politely refuse, she said, āyou donāt have to eat them if you donāt like themā¦ā
aw man, that got me. i couldnāt have her thinking i didnāt like them! when i said i might go for another one, she perked back up immediately, nudging me back towards the snack table where her muffins were.
again, i was only gonna have a bite, but she kept looking at me expectantly, glancing from the muffin in my hand back up to me. i managed to finish it, trying to rub my packed, groaning belly as subtly as i could. oh man, i was not feeling good. it was worth it to see her so excited and proud of her baking, but it was really taking a toll on my stomach. i wasnāt even really queasy yet, just full. i pulled up my sleeve to cover my mouth so i could let out a quiet burp into my fist.
we chatted about her recipe and gossiped about our choir director while my overstuffed tummy churned and moaned its protests. i was thankful the room was loud with the noise of conversation because it covered the loud, rumbly gurgles twisting though my aching belly. it was hard to focus on what she was saying because my stomach was so heavy and upset. each thick bubble made me clench my jaw, desperately fighting back a whimper. the sensation of three gigantic muffins fighting to digest inside my sore, achy belly was too much to keep my attention on anything else.
to top it off, any time someone joined our conversation, K would nudge me and say something like āat least someone liked my muffins, he had three!ā although, i was sort of grateful for that because it prompted more people to have a muffin. by the time our break was over, there was only a about a dozen left on her tray, so i assumed i was off the hook.
i assumed wrong. when we were released, i went down with K to grab her leftover muffins, since we all had to help clean up the dressing area, and iād offered at the beginning of rehearsal to walk her to her car, since itād be late when we got out. oh man, this was a mistake. my tummy had settled a little, thank goodness, but K just looked up at me in the middle of packing up, and said,
āplease, will you take a couple? you liked them so much, didnāt you? why not have another, hmm? iāll just throw the rest away if you wonāt eat them.ā
my tummy was bulging from the treats already inside it, i was sure i couldnāt handle any more. still, she was being so sweet, and honestly i have a bit of a crush on her. sheās got that trademark southern generosity, always showing her love through food. i decided to just take a bite of one to show her that that were delicious and that they wouldnāt go to waste.
you see the pattern beginning to emerge, donāt you?
i picked at the muffin she handed me. i could feel every bite drop into my stomach, making it bigger, heavier, tighter. i didnāt want to be rude and belch, but i was so swollen that i couldnāt help it. we walked down the stairs to the parking lot, and the steps jostled a burp from my tummy. i apologized, terribly embarrassed, but she just laughed, asking if my stomach was still upset, and i nodded. by the time we got to her car, i was about halfway through the fourth muffin. she glanced at it in my hand and i kid you not, said, āaww, youāre not gonna finish it?ā
when i tell you my cheeks were on fireā¦ i was glad it was dark so she couldnāt see how embarrassed i was. i scarfed down the last few bites, just to make sure i didnāt hurt her feelings, like a true gentleman. a wave of nausea threatened to force the muffins to make a reappearance. i leaned on the side of her car door, holding my belly and trying not to whine while she set the rest of the muffins in her backseat. she closed the car door and i straightened up, but my hand had to stay on my tummy. i just couldnāt bear it. i told her to drive safe and said goodnight, immediately grateful for the privacy to let out a moan as my stomach cramped around four gigantic chocolate chip muffins, as well as six days of other treats.
the walk home was slow and painful, but it was only about a block. i wouldāve asked for a ride from her if i wasnāt seriously concerned about getting carsick. plus, i really needed a few minutes to whine about my tummy. every breath i took made my abdomen uncomfortable, my belly so full that taking in air made my stomach groan and ache. i had to stop halfway through to lean against a wall, my hand underneath my sweater. each queasy rumble was followed by a weak belch, my stomach too full to churn violently. it just felt so solid, a heavy brick in my upper belly, stretched unbearably tight.
i feel sick. my tummy feels like itās gonna explode. my entire abdomen is bubbling with sluggish gurgles. but i canāt stop thinking about how many muffins i ate for her, how unbelievably stuffed i am because a pretty girl wanted me to keep eating.
is it bad that iād do it again in a heartbeat?
