I'm seeing a therapist as of recently. I'm finally in the opposite chair, drinking the Kool-Aid instead of just selling it. I'm using my company's EAP for three free sessions. I doubt I'll even go past that, because the therapist already exposed my core issue.
Pretty simply, I can't afford to be as collectivistic as I was raised to be. The reason I hadn't considered how much I put my family's happiness before my own is that every family member in my whole life painted me as a radical or a rebel. I was making the mistake of believing this. I thought, "I'm really individualistic!" As it turns out, I don't do much for myself. This has always been true. It isn't a bad thing, unless I spread myself too thin doing for others.
Apparently, my limit is extended family. I love to work hard for my immediate family, but can't really handle any sort of extended family stuff on the regular. It stresses me out seeing my parents regularly. It also stresses me out hanging with my wife's best friends if that becomes regular. Don't get me wrong, I can easily handle the occasional major function with flying colors. I'm almost always a hit at party. Incidentally, I am truly loving my wife's friends from work and am close to really taking them on as my own.
The biggest thing I learned this year is how to say "No." to social opportunities. Whenever I was anywhere close to my limit, I said "No." There were literally times my wife went to stay with my parents and I had to say no to keep from stressing myself out. I'm just not built for large groups of people. I like my social life kinda intimate. Maybe not one-on-one, but a handful of people or less.
I guess I really am more introverted than I imagined and I'm not built for Latino collectivism. Too many people in the room too often messes me up pretty bad. I like quality time with one, or a few, and no more than that.
