Snow Day is Cancelled || John Constantine ||
A/n: John is done
Going out to play in the snow had been a terrible idea. In hindsight John should have really known what he was going to deal with since it is his children he was dealing with.
John Constantine stood in the yard, boots sinking into fresh white powder, trench coat already regretting its life choices, staring down at the source of the noise, cigarette dangling from his lips.
Enter Nova and Nico.
Both three. Both red-faced. Both vibrating with rage.
Because of course
“It’s too cold, papa!” Nova wailed, tears instantly freezing on her lashes.
“I HATE IT,” Nico screamed—then, for reasons known only to chaos and toddlers, threw himself dramatically backward into the snow and began rolling like a possessed rotisserie chicken. Little limbs smacking the ground as snow flew into the air.
John rubbed his face then let out a deep and very long sigh.
“Alright, okay, okay...no cryin’, no screamin’, we’re havin’ fun, yeah?” he said, crouching, arms out, already overstimulated. “Snow’s just… cold floor. That’s all it is.”
Nova sobbed harder.
Nico popped his head up, snow in his hair, screamed then tossed snow at John's face.
“Of Course ,” John muttered, scooping Nova up with one arm while trying to keep Nico from tossing more snow. “Right. That’s it. We’re—”
The door creaked.
John froze.
From the doorway, three tiny figures waddled out with terrifying determination.
Leo.
Lulu.
Eden.
The triplets.
All 1 1/2. All bundled. All mobile.
“Oh no,” John whispered.
Too late.
They toddled forward, boots unsteady, arms out like drunk penguins, immediately plopping into the snow with delighted shrieks.
John made a sound that was half prayer, half panic.
“NONONO....WAIT...HOLD ON—”
Nova wriggled free and ran back toward the house as Nico followed, still screaming about hating snow while also shoving handfuls of it into his sleeves.
John abandoned all dignity.
He lunged forward, scooping Leo under one arm, Lulu under the other, Eden pressed awkwardly to his chest, coat flapping, cigarette forgotten, brain short-circuiting.
“That’s it,” he announced wildly, turning back toward the house. “That’s enough outside. Outside’s canceled. Snow’s banned. Never again.”
The triplets squealed as he carried them, snowflakes sticking to their hats. Eden tried to bite his collar.
“We are never going out again,” Nova declared through sniffles as she stood between the door frame.
“Never ever,” Nico agreed, slipping and falling flat one last time for emphasis.
From the doorway, you leaned against the frame, arms crossed, tail flicking lazily, watching the entire disaster with a smirk that said I warned you.
John passed you, coat damp, hair a mess, holding three squirming toddlers like cursed groceries.
“…Don’t say it,” he warned.
You smiled sweetly. "Say what love?"
Behind you, from the living room, a blanket fort rustled.
Three heads poked out.
Lila, Theo, and Aiden all wrapped in blankets, warm, smug.
“Daddy failed,” Lila announced.
Theo nodded solemnly. “The snow won.”
Aiden grinned. “We told him.”
John stared at them, exhausted, surrounded by crying twins, giggling triplets, and a wife enjoying this far too much.“…I hate winter,” he said weakly.
You leaned in, kissed his cheek, and took one of the babies.“You’re doing great, love.”
He sighed, already melting.“…Next time,” he muttered, “you’re the one takin’ ‘em outside.”
You laughed.
