giving sosuke aizen and kisuke urahara a brazilian!
requested by @thirstyhoebutbetter030070 ♡
nsfw-ish? // 0.7k words
Kisuke Urahara and Sosuke Aizen, two of the most skilled, intelligent, and accomplished Soul Reapers in the history of The Soul Society, were well-acquainted with the terms of their rivalry — or so they thought.
To say they felt a little silly was an understatement. Never in a million years did they think they'd fight over something as mundane as someone's affection; but, alas, when you came back from the world of the living one day with a "Brazilian Waxing Kit" and puppy-dog eyes, neither could say no … especially when they learned that the other hadn't backed out yet.
And so that is how they find themselves in the very vulnerable position of being completely naked, side-by-side, watching hot wax drip from a wooden stick and onto the floor as you frown down at a manual with various depictions of male genitalia.
Now they don't have to be completely naked. They could have kept their robes on, like you told them, and just make sure to lift it up at the appropriate times. But when Aizen walked in and saw Kisuke completely stripped down, he didn't want to be seen like some prude — so he, too, discarded his robe at the door.
"Should I start with the crotch…?" you ask, breaking the awkward silence "or the butt??"
The question, of course, is rhetorical. They don't bother to answer as you walk up to Aizen and tap his leg. "Feet together … and knees out. I think."
He obeys, lips parting in concern as you hum down at your little guidebook again, brows furrowed.
"Y'look nervous, Sosuke," Kisuke teases from his left. Aizen glances over — and the asshole is shamelessly erect, hands behind his head, waiting for his turn. "Be gentle with him!" he warns you, "who knows what he'll do if he gets upset—"
Aizen tunes him out as a warm sensation spreads across the seam between his groin and right thigh. His gaze drops to watch amber wax melt across his skin.
"This will hurt," you sing a little too eagerly. Aizen says nothing, centering his breathing, preparing for what will hopefully be a painless experience. After all … this is something humans do all the time, and if those weaklings can do it without a problem, then surely he can, too.
You stick a piece of paper onto the cooling wax, and without warning: riiipp!
Kisuke has the nerve to giggle at Aizen's shock. Suddenly everything feels a little sweaty, and he's doing everything he can to subdue any outward display of pain.
"Does it hurt, Sosuke?" Kisuke asks with fluttery lashes. "Need me to kiss it better?"
Aizen doesn't even bother with a reply, rolling his eyes, heart rate increasing as you prepare another application of wax.
Smear, rip. Smear, rip. Smear, rip. The cycle is cruel and relentless … and humiliating! Aizen hardly recognizes the man he's become as he lays there, holding his feet in the air so you can access the hairs in his ass. When you get to his balls, he swears he sees stars — and not the good kind — but he'd be damned if he let Kisuke know any of that, so he steels his expression into one of nonchalance and boredom.
Surely Kisuke, who is known for his childish antics and overdramatics, will make a fool of himself in comparison!
Wrong.
When it's Kisuke's turn, he's holding a conversation with you as if this were a casual evening stroll. He's flirting, even — telling you that your touch is just right, commenting how 'a man should embrace pain if it's at the hand of someone so sexy' … really laying it on thick. And as Aizen lies there with raw skin, a limp dick, and a bruised ego, Kisuke is still hard as a rock, preening beneath your attention.
"You're handling this surprisingly well," you comment, gesturing for him to lift his legs. “Figured you’d be running for the hills by now."
"It's not my first time around this particular block, let's just say that," he waves his hand absentmindedly.
"Oh! When you were in the world of the living, did you get this done often?"
"Every month!"
Aizen's eyes widen. Cheater!
masterlist
A/N: this request had me hootin' and hollerin'. i was asked for this to be 'post-TYBW'. TO BE HONEST i have only seen the anime so i am in the dark about what happens to Kisuke and Aizen after TYBW. hopefully this wasn't too egregious :)