#douchecanoe

[roktho]

Do you ever read something that makes you go 🤢🤮🤢🤢

[iris-jaxx665]

@instructor144 if you wouldnt mind alerting the tribe

[rt8815]

Josh Hawley can go fuck himself.

[stephynow]

We’re all a bit douchey online. Hopefully, much less in person. I met someone recently in person that was nothing like what he posts online. Or my perception of him, anyway. I admit, I made a judgment (don’t lie or pretend you don’t). I felt like a douche after meeting him and now having several conversations. He’s warm and kind. And I was way wrong. The thing is, we’re all a bit douchey on here. And I hope to be wrong about that more often. I’m a douche on here too. Hopefully, much less in person. #socialmedia #douchecanoe #writewhatsreal #iwaswrong #writeclubnow #changeyourmind #noperfectpeopleallowed https://www.instagram.com/p/BztN_r5h115/?igshid=wj5oimd69din

[mandybear143]

I hate this.

I hate you.

But that's not true.

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

I really wish i had my journal from high school, bc this was one of the first words i ever wrote in calligraphy ink, for a pal

[bannedfromtheaters]

Friendships & other cute moments!

watch the A4O S2 trailer

[otome-reviews]

My Wedding and 7 Rings: Asahi Route Review [SPOILERS]

Once upon a time, I naively thought that Eisuke’s route in Kissed by the Baddest Bidder was the worst I’d ever have the misfortune of reading. Well, my friends. I’m delighted (?) to inform you that we have a new winner, in the the form of Asahi and his blood pressure-raising route.

Let’s start from the top, shall we? MC works for Sanno Corp, a conglomerate run by an affable CEO (aka her unknown/secret grandfather), who passes away. In his final days, he arranges for MC’s future “happiness” on her behalf, by setting up a Marriage Program for MC to pick a husband and future CEO among six up-and-coming male employees (no women allowed??). Instead of, you know, giving MC leadership training while he was alive so she could try being CEO herself like a proper loving grandfather, or something...

Anyways, MC is conned into signing a contract agreeing to the Marriage Program, while being told it’s paperwork for the company’s MVP award, by the shady interim CEO. Long story short, if she fails to find a husband before a year is up, the company will be forced to dissolve without a CEO, and she’ll be forced to pay everyone’s severance pay. So... I don’t know what the rules and regulations surrounding contracts are in Japan, but I can’t imagine that this'd hold up in court? There was a whole auditorium’s worth of people who could testify that MC was pressured into signing, after all. And according to Google, severance pay isn’t required in Japan if a company can’t continue its business due to “unavoidable circumstances” -- such as, say, an asshat ex-CEO who set up a terrible program for his granddaughter instead of getting to know her like a normal person?!

Anyways, because there is something seriously wrong with MC, she picks Asahi, aka very obviously the rudest of the bunch, to be her first marriage candidate during a month-long trial period. Asahi is a rich, privileged, and entitled douchebag who doesn’t understand poor/middle class people. He thinks he’s God’s gift to womankind because he’s handsome. And although MC is the one who holds all the cards as, you know, the person who picks the next CEO, he doesn’t hesitate to order MC around constantly (“Don’t do anything without my say-so!”), insults her, and regularly compares her to a pet dog. Ugh.

Oh, and he tries to have nonconsensual sex with her. TWICE. His rationale, after MC manages to ward him off? “This is the first time a girl has rejected my advances!” ...That doesn’t excuse shit, you asshole. And to top it all off, unlike other characters under the douchey alpha male trope who stop insulting MC halfway through, Asahi doesn’t really ever quit (“Plain IS your specialty.” - Episode 10 out of 13).

( ^this would’ve been a lovely CG if it were consensual >( )

All that alone is already enough to make me hate Asahi, and his route, quite passionately. But it gets worse. Throughout the entire story, Asahi forces MC to help him with a project to revitalize a Japanese village by bringing European luxury brands into the village and turning it into a tourist destination (weird, but sure, let’s roll with it). MC is Asahi’s assistant, but in reality, she is the only reason why the project even manages to succeed:

When Asahi rudely rejects a petition containing the villagers’ concerns about the project, MC is the one who listens to their complaints. And then Asahi gets PISSED at her for acting independently, and rips up the petition (!!) (“You’ll understand someday. Money and power are all that matter”). Douche doesn’t even begin to cover it. Psychopath?!

After a deal with a French CEO falls through due to Asahi’s evil half-brother’s meddling, MC and Asahi encounter a lost crying kid. MC wants to help the kid, Asahi wants to get the police to deal with it and call it a day. He’s super rude about it. But surprise surprise, said kid turns out to be the French CEO’s son, and that is the only reason why the Frenchman even gives Sanno Corp a chance. Without MC’s kindness, the project would’ve failed. Utterly. Because Asahi is an incompetent little shit.

The townspeople are upset over traditions being thrown out the window, and because MC’s the only person who ever listened to their concerns, she’s the one who comes up with the idea of embracing these old traditions even as they introduce new Western elements to the town’s stores, and mixing old with new. There is no way entitled little rich kid Asahi would’ve been able to come up with this on his own.

So what happens at the end of the route, you ask? Surely MC gets rewarded professionally for her excellent people skills and business acumen? HAH...don’t make me laugh. Here’s what happens:

MC writes an excellent project proposal as a last ditch effort, which Asahi utterly ignores because he went off to do his own thing regarding the deal. He praises MC, but who gives a shit? Words are cheap. I want actual, tangible, career success for MC.

The Frenchman announces, in a news conference, that he’ll be making a deal with Sanno Corp, and demands to work, more specifically, with his good friend Asahi. Um, excuse me, but WTF?!?!? Who was the one who helped his kid, again? Who was the one who came up with the proposal in the first place? Way to devalue a woman’s work and let another man get all the credit, dude! This makes me so mad asdfhqkjdhqfqdjfsh

Most annoyingly, Asahi presumably gets to be the next CEO, since MC obviously chooses him. Despite the fact that he’s so bad with people it’s unfathomable how he even got to where he was before he met MC...

This whole saga, with MC’s efforts and kindness being brushed aside/unrecognized, and the useless Asahi reaping the rewards of all of MC’s hard work, really really boiled my blood. As a working woman with ambitions, the whole work subplot represents many of my greatest fears regarding sexism in the professional workplace. It was, in a way, even more infuriating than Asahi’s romantic shittiness, because despite being ridiculous and unrealistic, everything still felt allll too fucking real.

After my extended rant regarding Eisuke a while back, several people pointed out that Eisuke’s character evolution over the course of many stories is what makes him truly great. I’m a little dubious, to be very honest, but I can respect that. But as for Asahi? IMHO this little dipshit doesn’t deserve future character evolution. He’s already used MC for professional success! He doesn’t get to just waltz in and reap the rewards of “becoming a better man” due to MC’s hard work and effort. What does MC even get out of this whole deal?? A good, rich man who loves her!? Yeah, no thanks. She could’ve gotten that from one of the many other less douchey love interests, probably without all this wasted emotional labor.

At the end of the day, Asahi and his route embodies several tropes/fantasies that I understand are very popular (and maybe even more popular in Japan, I wouldn’t know), and I can’t blame Voltage for catering to their audience (and even, perhaps, to you, the reader). He’s rich, he’s an “alpha male,” yadda yadda...I get it. But it’s definitely not a trope for me, and even less so given that whole crappy work thing. So. To reiterate, this has been the single most infuriating route I’ve had the displeasure of reading, to date. And because I strongly believe Asahi does not deserve to improve at the cost of MC’s suffering and sacrifice, I have no plans to give any of his sequels a chance. >(

(If this review actually made you want to check out Asahi’s route, my apologies - the free promotion has long since ended. But you can still enjoy (?) the story on Voltage’s Love365 app using coins!)

Choice quotes: “Aren’t you going to say, ‘I’m leaving for work, master’ on your way out?” “I’m leaving for work... you naked fathead!” “If you’re waiting for the day I take orders from you, 100 years won’t be enough.”

Personality: 1/10 Asahi is a rude asshole who lacks empathy and doesn’t know his damn place. He is such a rich douchebag stereotype.

Appearance: 8/10. Unfortunately.

MC: 6/10. I liked MC’s sass and work ethic, but she has terrible taste in men and is way too happy about the tiny breadcrumbs of kindness Asahi occasionally throws at her.

Plot/Payoff: 0/10. Horrifying for a working woman. >(

Personal enjoyment: 0/10. No

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