Draco: Do you ever wish to be buried 6 feet under just to be away from human interaction?
Harry: 💀
Harry: You need help.

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Draco: Do you ever wish to be buried 6 feet under just to be away from human interaction?
Harry: 💀
Harry: You need help.
I love you darling but god do you make it hard.
Draco: *dead of night* Do you regret marrying me?
Harry: *mentally* he doesn't want the truth. It's a fake question. He doesn't want the truth. He d-
Harry: No, love.
Draco: hmm.... I do, thought you'd be much funnier.
Harry: *mentally* don't you dare take the bait.
Draco: Oh, so when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, its "intelligent" and "really cool".
Draco: But when I do it, I'm "petty" and "need to let it go".
Draco: HAAARRYYYY!!
Harry: Oh my god what?
Draco: I-I think my hair is falling out!
Harry: *Snorts*
Draco: It’s not funny!
Harry, laughing: Yes it is! Maybe it’s because you put that poisonous gel into you hair everyday
Draco: It’s not gonna be funny when you have nothing to hold on to in bed
Harry:
Harry: hey malfoy, pass me this book will you?
Draco, to himself: the power of Christ compels you, the power of Christ com-
Harry: bro wtf
Draco: it’s just something I do when I get naughty thoughts
Harry: you preform an exorcism?
Draco:....
Harry: does it work?
drarry au that harry disappears a year after the war and everyone is worried sick because he hasn’t been doing very well lately. Secretly, Draco Malfoy tracks him down and finds him on a road trip in brazil, just harry and sirius’s motorbike. At first, he is only there to see if harry is ok, if he isn’t doing anything stupid (as usual) and doesn’t plan to let harry know he is stalking him. But Draco finds that harry just ride all the time. He loves the wind messing his hair, h loves stopping by in the middle of the road to watch the green hills and the immense clouds shifting, he loves to eat sandwiches from shady cafes and usually checks in simple motels. He looks happy, pleased, like the war happened 50 years ago, like he didn’t lost people he loved and trusted. The kind of freedom that one spends ages looking for and hardly finds.
Draco knows that now he knows harry is ok he needs to go back to England, but he can’t just seem to. One day, harry finds him in one of the motel rooms. They both look at each other’: Malfoy from the bed where he was reading a book guide, completely, shocked and Harry with a knowing look, his arms crossed against his chest and his body against the doorframe
“Were you ever going to reveal yourself? You know, I’ve been waiting for 28 days. You suck at playing detective.”
Draco had started following Harry exactly thirty days. He schools back his expression and prepares for a wand fight. Instead, Harry shakes his head lightly, chuckles and leave the small room. Malfoy is still on the bed when Harry returns five minutes later with a backpack and a helmet. He throws one at Draco, who hastily grabs it in the air.
“Bought it some time ago. I hoped you would reveal yourself sooner, but you never did. If you still wanna come, I’ll be waiting outside.”
Draco was speechless for a while, not knowing exactly what to think. He could swear he was being careful and Harry never even noticed his presence. He wondered why Potter didn’t even try to mislead him, why he just kept driving and doing the same things around the same time. He stared at the dark green helmet for a long time until he decided to get up and put his belongings inside his bag. After finishing, Draco shrinks it and leaves the room. He finds Harry on the motorbike, glasses covering his eyes and looking at a map.
“You know, you should wear one too,” Draco says. Harry puts the map back in his pocket and starts Sirius’ motorbike.
“Come on, Malfoy, we have a long way to go.” Harry says with a smirk and Draco gets on the bike behind Harry, his thighs pressing against Harry’s warm ones and his hands gently but firmly holding his waist.
And so they ride.
Harry: Hello
Harry: I'm a thief and I'm here to steal your heart
Draco: Where will you hide my body?
Harry: What?
Draco: Aren't you trying to kill me?
draco : oh my god, pansy, me and harry do not have petnames for each other!
pansy : alright then, what do bees make?
draco : honey?
pansy :
blaise : you're doing it wrong *kicks draco in the shin*
draco : OW YOU RAT BASTARD
harry, walking in: yeah, what do you want?