11/11/17 - I don't belong here
I'm at a church sleepover thing
I don't belong with any of these groups
The guys know I'm trans so they've been like avoiding me
And the girls think I'm weird for trying to fit in
And whenever people group up to play games or whatever literally I'm always the one not invited and that's just fantastic I guess
I feel really left out and lonely and creepy for trying to talk with the girls and I don't even look as feminine today because my hair removal cream just ended up burning my face without removing any hair and I just look ugly and
Everyones gotten into rooms to sleep and of course there's no room in any of them so I guess I'll just sleep alone in the hall
I've been off of meds for too long and I can already feel the dysphoria coming back and I hate mirrors and I hate how I look and I just hate everything about what I'm trying to do and how bad I am at passing when I'm with my church friends because they know me too well and I just want to leave maybe
Why won't anyone accept me
I mean I'm probably overthinking all of this
I'm sure no one's actively trying to exclude me but I mean