How did Jaskier become immortal? Was it a drunken game of Gwent, a blessing from Roach who is actually a unicorn in disguise, a weird Witcher potion that got mixed up with Jaskier's perfumes, a side effect of the djiin, a spell cast by Yennefer to save his life, or even a mischievous elf/fae/monster who snuck into his mother's bed? The possibilities are endless and I want to hear yours!
wow hello @astralalmighty its been literally forever but I'm finally getting around to answering asks now that things are a little less crazy, I hope you enjoy!
there are so many fun ways for jaskier to become immortal, but what if it was all of them? just imagining jaskier stumbling around accidentally acquiring immortality over and over again by increasingly ridiculous means
-his mother did indeed sleep with something nonhuman, whether they were elf or fae or something else is anyone's best guess but nobody knows, least of all jaskier's mother. She wasn't even sure that they were someone of any kind of strong magic at all until she noticed jaskier's tendency to sprout different plants and flowers around him depending on his mood and the fact that when he finally came to visit years after oxenfurt he looked the exact same and didn't have a clue
-during his years at oxenfurt jaskier had a grand time racking up an obscenely high body count, among them a minor god/goddess or two that declared the sex so mind blowing they blessed him with eternal youth, not knowing he already had it
-turns out, having no qualms about sampling any of the weird shit him and geralt find in mage's lairs isn't as harmless as jaskier claims, and he has drunk not one, not two, but three separate half finished eternal life elixirs (one of them turned his hair blue for a week and geralt took him to four different healers before jaskier convinced him that he was "completely fine geralt, there's literally nothing wrong with me" "your hair is BLUE, jaskier!")
-he's definitely never telling geralt about the time he was getting peckish waiting around the campsite waiting for the witcher to return from hunting and chugged one or two of his potions he didn't recognize. that one is going to his grave
-there's also the time he was dying from a vicious swipe from a royal griffin, and jaskier never wants to see that much of what should normally be inside of him outside again, geralt got him to triss just in the knick of time. In the general panic following their arrival there may have been just a little too much magic packed into the healing involved, and if the scar on the bard's torso glows every once in a while and his cuts seem to heal faster than normal, who's to say what happened?
-no one at kaer mohren can forget the time jaskier barged into the lab without knocking and interrupted some experimental spell work being done by yennefer, resulting in him getting hit square in the chest with a blast of magic. he woke up laying on the floor in the arms of an insanely worried geralt who was ready to rip yen's head off. It took several slices of vesemir's blackberry pie and a lot of reassurance to get geralt to loosen his hold on the bard, and even then jaskier was barely allowed out of geralt's sight for a week (jaskier and yen quietly agreed later on to keep the fact that jaskier now seemed to have chaos woven into his soul a secret for at least a few more winters)
- not only is geralt apparently completely clueless to the average lifespan of a human being, jaskier being the key example, he also had no clue how many years horses were meant to live, and nobody had the heart to mention that it was rather unusual that Roach had been around for nearly fifty years with no sign of stopping soon. Nobody had any clue what exactly she was, and since she couldn't speak nobody would ever know that Roach had become rather attached to jaskier and how he made her witcher smile, and had blessed him with good fortune and long years. not that anyone would complain about that
jaskier really is just walking around the continent accidentally making himself immortal hundreds of times over and in a thousand different increasingly ridiculous ways, at this point there ought to be a continent wide betting pool on what he'll do next, or more importantly, when anyone will freaking notice
and there you have it, jaskier becoming immortal in a number of silly ways! Let me know if anyone is interested in a part two!
