laugh lines
this is based on an actual thing evie colbert said about stephen colbert that made me go all soft and gooey and is so so perfect for buck and tommy. so please enjoy. 🥹
below or on ao3 (and because it's me, yes tommy's just gotten hurt)
[wc: 1138]
Tommy’s not entirely sure when he swims back into consciousness, the rising tide of darkness swelling and softening with each jagged breath. It’s distant, at first, the world around him. An occasional hiss of oxygen, voices rising and receding as shoes squeak against the linoleum nearby.
His body’s not his – not quite yet – still detached from his brain with the blissful brush of pain medication, sweeping the worst of it back in the canvas of his mind.
There are bits and pieces that break through, though.
The scratch of the hospital blanket against his forearm.
The pulse of a headache softly thudding behind his left eye.
The way his knee itches but not quite enough to warrant movement.
And fingertips.
Tracing the lines of his face, thumb dipping into the cleft of his chin, soft passes over crow’s feet, settling at the base of his spine then shifting back over his ear.
His hair’s left untouched and he’s annoyed about it, wants the fingertips to trail through his curls and scratch against his scalp.
He knows those fingertips. Knows they follow that flight path like he follows the same one out from Harbor on a routine call. They’re home along the ridge of his brow, movement so routine it borders on extra limbs – an extension of the body he’s wading back to now.
Being with Evan means being an offering – Tommy’s hands an occasional fidget, his chest a steady presence, a reliable shelter in an otherwise anxiety-ridden storm.
“–‘van,” his voice is more distant this his body, somehow. So light and airy it’s barely above a whisper, the only confirmation the word made it out the rumble against his ribs when the name rattles against them.
The fingertips still and Tommy wouldn’t be surprised if they trailed a tear down Tommy’s cheek, willing them to return, to come home – where they belong against his temple.
“I’m here,” Evan exhales, and now Tommy’s wondering if he’s the one crying or if Evan is, his voice an echo of Tommy’s but for entirely different reasons. “You’re okay.”
That…doesn’t seem right. He knows he’s not entirely okay, can tell he’s in a hospital and that his body isn’t trapped in a dream or stuck in exhaustion on the back end of a shift.
“What happened?” he asks, hoping it’s a little stronger this time but he can’t be sure. He still hasn’t opened his eyes, content to bask in the dark protection his eyelids give him.
At least, he was until Evan took his hand away.
“Partial structure collapse,” Evan explains, voice tight. Tommy wants – tries – to reach out, offer comfort to Evan and shove the worry back. The worry he, apparently, created.
Unsure if his hand lifts off the bed or not, it doesn’t matter. Evan sees the movement and reaches back, wraps his hand gently around Tommy’s, moves the other back to his forehead and brushes gently down the side of his face.
Tommy hums at the warmth it brings, feeling himself settle deeper into the pillows. “How long?”
Evan shuffles in his chair, coughs, pulls his hand back and returns it so fast Tommy doesn’t have time to miss it. When it lands again, it’s damp, tears freshly fallen brushed away in that lost moment.
“Three days,” Evan replies on a shaky exhale.
Tommy finally opens his eyes at that, the shock of it pushing through the bliss of their shadow. Meeting Evan’s gaze now, it’s clear this isn’t the first time he’s cried. Exhaustion trails down his features, face drawn, bruises deepening under his eyes, red-rimmed and watery as they look down at Tommy.
“Oh,” Tommy says. “Are you okay?”
Evan reaches for a small cup that rattles with ice chips, dips a plastic spoon inside and feeds Tommy a couple. It’s heaven, soothing and chilly as the liquid slides down his throat. Evan shakes his head and brushes another tear away.
“No,” he rolls his eyes and gives another ice chip to Tommy. “But yes. E-Everyone’s been by – helping out. I’m just…I’m so happy to see you awake.”
They stay like that a little longer, the soft echo of the hospital at their backs while Evan feeds Tommy a few more ice chips, tracing skin to skin with each pass like he doesn’t want to be away from Tommy for too long. Like it’ll kill them both if he is.
Maybe it will.
By the time the medical team has come and done their assessment – Tommy’s two days out of a massive surgery that repaired his liver, a lung, and left him with only one kidney – he’s more tired than he ever thought possible, eyes drooping even as white coats shuffle out the door.
Evan moves back in close, tucks his chair beside the bed, somehow tighter still than he was when Tommy woke up, and resumes the quiet trace of his fingertips over Tommy’s skin.
He settles on the wrinkles near Tommy’s eyes a little longer, lingers as he trails each line. Leaning in close, he presses a kiss to each side with such reverence, Tommy feels like a breath would break the spell.
“When I met you,” Evan says softly, fingers still trailing skin that Tommy glances at in the mirror each morning, wishing for youth that’s long been left behind. “I-I thought…wow, this guy’s already laughed so much in his life, he has crow's feet around his eyes.”
Tommy scoffs, feigning hurt, but Evan shakes his head, resuming movement so delicate and peaceful it brings a new meaning to the word lullaby.
“I thought anyone who smiles and laughs that much has got to be fun to share the ride with,” Evan continues. “A-And even though we’ve been together a while, you’re still the same you. It’s just…now the lines are a little deeper.”
Evan’s always been able to express his emotions with such blatant affection and passion – his words so easily falling from his lips in ways Tommy barely lets himself do even within the confines of his own mind.
But now, he’s left speechless.
Their relationship started somewhere rocky, wobbled and ran ragged, chasing them through some of the worst pain either of them has had to endure.
And to know Evan saw these parts of himself Tommy didn’t even know made up his whole, even way back then…
“I love you,” he says easily. Evan softens and smiles, leaning in for another gentle kiss.
“I love you, too.”
“Thank you for being here,” Tommy mumbles as sleep finally grabs hold, Evan’s ministrations soothing him closer to the soft call of slumber.
“Nowhere else I’d rather be.”
When Tommy finally drifts off, his last thought is that he hopes he wakes up to those fingertips tracing lines – ones he’s helped deepen every day – for the rest of his damn life.
leave me kudos if you like
