#familiar au

[magixfairyix]

Familiar Iorda

As a part of the familiar cult runaway au where she is adopted by Darcy and Riven.

(Spotted hyena familiar btw)

That moment when mama (Darcy) is talking to someone while on an outing and you’re trying to not show how much you want to leave, go home, and tear into a raw salmon.

Familiar adoptee Iorda is SO CUTE.

My bb.

[magixfairyix]

Of the Wood

Darcy wandered across the creature her peers have been gossiping about: a supposedly bloodthirsty familiar, or a malevolent spirit. Luckily for her, she enjoyed strange things.

Iorda and her witchphobia, give her time. Also, she's 85% hyena brain.

@thewillowofveles @rerarlo @s12-kittie

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There was a wide and complicated spectrum of how different familiars acted. Mammals had different habits than reptiles, and, despite having a form of human flesh half the time, familiars often expressed a habit or two. Burrowing in blankets. Nipping. Collecting shining things. But that in itself also depended on the relationship a familiar had with their animal forms they could shift into at will.

Iorda's heterogeneous eyes blinked as she stared up at the crescent moon. How beautiful this clearing—her hunting grounds—was when bathed with the gentle glow of the moon mother. Above all else, it was easier to see when bounding after whoever dared to whisper insults toward her kind.

Those witch students even started spinning rumours:

Many called her a malevolent spirit. Malevolent? Yes. She's consumed more corpses of the deserved than she could count. Any who insulted familiars near her grounds had a sure chance of getting chased, torn, and consumed. A spirit? No. She supposed that she was less... human than familiars who did not have to spend their lifetime treated like an animal, but a body and a heartbeat were still inside.

Iorda found it hard to believe that familiars were cherished by witches centuries ago, when most covens were small enough to set up in small settlements in the forests of the wild. Given nice cuts of meat. Cherished. Now, instead of covens, they set up cults and beat her kind into submission.

With a yawn, she stretched her arms above her head. They bore long nails of strong cartilage that served as worthy substitutes for claws if tearing into flesh in her human form was a more satisfying option.

Well, witches were giving her good cuts of meat.

Hyena instincts and anger easily grew more there than 'human' mortals, ones quite against cannibalism. Tasted good enough. Brought some relief to her heart. And she'd witnessed enough horrors done by witches' hands to not care much.

Her nose twitched as a deep, smoky scent ebbed past the trees. Incense. One of the usuals. Lavender, this time. Iorda shook her messy and leaf-littered hair, silently stepping in the direction of the scent.

It wasn't long before a witch came into view. Quite a pretty one. With dark hair with highlights that reflected the moonlight like a citrine mirror, and shining eyes of the same golden hue.

Witches often screamed when they saw her:

A bare figure with pitch-black eyes and white irises, covered only by her unruly hair that reached down to her ankles. Hyena ears atop her head flicked like nothing escaped her attention. When she wanted to lure, the hyena form was less frightening. But tonight she wanted to scare and make the witch regret coming too close, acting as a frightening being.

Maybe the witches were onto something with the rumours.

She did appear like a creeping forest spirit.

But no witch had smiled before.

The golden-eyed one did. "Oh, aren't you pretty?"

Iorda's shoulders drew back. Blinked once. Again. Her ears flicked again, as if she hadn't heard the witch right and was waiting for a correction, or a clarification that the trees had been the pretty thing.

The golden eyes continued to stare. Not with horror or disgust. Or sly intentions. It was as if the witch was enamoured, intrigued, and curious.

This was a moment full of quiet intimacy that sent a deep throb through Iorda's hardened heart, from a time when she got compliments before the screams, and soft touches before the slaps.

Iorda, eyes narrowed, dashed to the witch to begin the usual chase. Her snarl echoed through the clearing like a gong signalling death and misfortune. And yet, the witch did not move. Even when the familiar was an inch in front of her, teeth bared, and panting.

Why wasn't the witch running?

Or throwing spells?

Iorda grit her teeth again, then growled. Run.

"... are you a hyena familiar?" The witch eyed the ears. Her voice had a gentle cadence void of scorn. Only calm. "Those ears and the fangs are quite a good tell."

Unlike the mentioned features, the familiar's tail was hidden underneath her hair. Maybe if she hit it then the witch wouldn't say anything. Make fun of her. Tease. Iorda licked her lips—having gone dry in the night hair—and tilted her head, not averting her eyes for a second.

"Hm." The witch pursed her lips. "Aereemiidiis, freisuumau yv?"

Hello, how are you?

Those words struck a bullet of rage through Iorda's heart faster than her earlier need of vengeance ever had. Zenothian. This witch knew Zenothian. She was dangerous. Horrfic. She had to kill before the witch brought her back to the cell of the cult on that sick planet.

Iorda lunged, fangs and claws bared—

She fell through the ground. Suddenly, the under and around her feet turned to darkness that she sank into. Her stomach dropped at the sudden motion, stopping when only her shoulders and head poked out of the blackness. Somehow, she could still feel her limbs. Less present than before, but they existed, just within the shadow.

At least the witch wasn't smiling. Was a smirk a smile?

Iorda growled, rolling her shoulders around as if she would pop free from her own stubbornness. Most witches just threw spheres. It seemed like this one had a few more tricks.

"So, you understand Zenothian..." the witch mused as she knelt next to the mostly swallowed up familiar. The edge of the witch's violet, pyjama pants brushed against the grass. "And you're angry about it?"

Maybe the witch was stupid or here as part of a bet to see if she could placate the so-called malevolent creature. Well, Iorda had strong feelings about that.

She spat at the witch's feet.

There was still enough of a hold on her human mind that, if she wanted to, she could answer the witch's questions. She was adept in both Magixian and Zenothian. But that was if she wanted to. She did not want to.

The witch glanced down at the ground the familiar had spat at. "Are you going to start tearing me apart if I let you go?" She snorted. "Maybe I should leave you in there for a while to calm down."

Iorda's frustrated silence continued until she, like the sneaky creature she was, shifted into the form of a spotted hyena and crawled out of the shadows of the ground. They'd been holding her much larger previous body. This form gave her an escape. She was uncaring—stretching her jaw and shaking her head—as the witch stood.

"I stand corrected," the witch hummed.

No mercy.

For the second time, Iorda lunged. Her body felt more agile. Jaws strong and willing to snap bones if she wanted it so. Freeing, in a way. Her attack was set on the witch's upper thigh before she was suddenly scooped up into the arms that had previously spun the spell.

Iorda threw her head back with a howl. She flapped her legs back and forth to attempt to free herself from the weirdly gentle hold. If she were fully grown in this form, she'd be too large to hold, but as she was still sixteen in human years, she was the size of a medium dog. Yet big enough that the witch had to keep adjusting her grip on the struggling familiar.

"I'm not going to hurt you," the witch—Darcy—sighed, glancing up at the sky for some sort of assistance in dealing with this feral creature. Based on the strong reaction to Zenothian, she wouldn't be surprised if the familiar came from their illegal trade. "If I wanted to do so, I would've when you were still five feet in the ground."

Iorda snarled, but her leg flicks stopped.

"Vicious," Darcy quipped.

Darcy wasn't particularly skilled in dealing with this sort of familiars, ones who were either betrayed by the witches they so longed for, or driven to this state by loneliness and isolation. Familiar depression or whatever it was called. Ironic, since the familiar seemed to be causing more depression via death to others than herself.

But fighting hadn't helped.

The familiar was dangerous; that was clear.

Though like the cunning witch she was, Darcy had a few tricks up her sleeves. Ferral—or in less harsh terms, broken—familiars were more controlled by the traits of their animal form than normal, and what do lonely creatures crave?

Darcy, risking her hand, lightly rubbed her fingertips over the familiar's right ear. It flicked. Hertgenous eyes narrowed at her. She moved from light brushes to scratching behind the ear. Like magic, the hyena's snarling went silent, and a small huff exited her curled lips as her tense body went limp.

It did feel quite good, Iorda could admit that. Her stomach gnawed with hunger, but... maybe some pets and affection was a bit better than drinking down blood and tearing apart flesh. Just this once.

Iorda blinked, then her fang-filled jaw stretched into a yawn. She could remember the last time she was held so kindly, but those pleasant memories had been twisted into resentment for the many witches who treated her like an animal within that cult: The Sisters of Liliss.

Her thoughts were cut short when Darcy let go, and she swiftly landed back on the grass, her tail no longer tucked between her legs. Despite her animal tendencies being more prevalent, she could think and question just as clearly as a human or a normal familiar. But... her hyena mind was really focused on the prospect of getting more ear scratches.

Darcy, too, yawned. "Goodnight, honey. I'll be leaving."

The witch turned her back on the familiar and began walking back to Cloud Tower. Transporting was more convenient. But the walk back was relaxing, and so, she made the decision to—

Something gripped her pants.

Darcy looked down to see the familiar, still in her familiar form, gripping onto her pants by her teeth for her dear life. Aw. She couldn't help but raise her hand to her mouth to cover a chuckle. Well... maybe she could promise to come back. The familiar seemed to like her a lot, and it would be a good chance to understand the intricasies of familiars of her kind that deviated from the norm.

"I don't think my headmistress will be happy if I bring such a bloodthirsty familiar back," Darcy began, once again scratching behind the familiar's ears. Why wouldn't she? She wasn't a monster. "Especially one that's known for killing off a student or two."

For the first time since she started this entire vengeance spree, Iorda felt a hint of guilt. Never before had she cared about what a witch thought of her after she escaped Zenothe. But this witch talked kindly to her. Gave good scratches. Would she get more of the compliments and pets if she stopped killing, she wondered?

"I'll visit again tomorrow," Darcy decided.

The familiar's ears perked up at the idea. Clearly, she was looking forward to it. Darcy snorted. It was quite a feat to placate the creature that was known to kill witches on sight. But then again, she was the queen of darkness and was quite understanding of those who lived within the shadows' depths.

Yep, she was attached.

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[magixfairyix]

Familiar Iorda

[magixfairyix]

Iorda: Y'know, I hate this. Maybe if I come back as a familiar, then Divya will somewhat like me

Me: *with the Fate au where Iorda is Divya's familiar"

Me: Oh, she still hates you

[magixfairyix]

Dark Familiar Iorda?

When you’ve been scorned and hurt by witches so much that you decide to steal the souls of em as a hobby.

Ct witches: “Yeah don’t talk shit about familiars outside of the school. You like, die or smth. No biggie tho.”

Stormy decided to test this and now Darcy has to wrangle Iorda (ofc they know eachother, bc it’s Darcy, she knows all the weird things in the CT forest) to not kill her sister like “NO! NO MURDER! DOWN! DONT BITE ME OMG IVE BEEN GIVING YOU RAW FISH THE PAST WEEK!”

Icy: “DARCY! You befriended a SHATTERED FAMILIAR!”

Darcy: “Oh come on! She’s sweet at times—FUCK! IORDA WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT BITING MY ANKLES WHEN I STOP YOU FROM DOING SOMETHING?!”

The Winx when they realize Darcy has a creature of horrors emotionally attached to her: “We’re fucked.”

Normal familiar au: 50% human 50% animal brain.

Why’s it in a cage au: 30% human brain 70% anima brain.

Shattered familiar au: 15% human brain 85% animal brain. Enough that Iorda can talk and appear human-ish besides the growling, but she runs on ‘Darcy that guy whistled at me, why can’t I eat him?’

[threesided]

“I saved you with the power of love ! “

“You stabbed me ! “

[magixfairyix]

Familiar-Daughter AU

Iorda and Darcy/Riven parent-daughter AUs have my heart, and so, have an AU where Darcy finds a smol familiar and decides to raise it.

She's not gonna leave it to die ofc.

Stormy moment credited to: @ieatedanimation

@ieatedanimation @s12-kittie @rerarlo @thewillowofveles @dariaslore @darlenicy

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[Darcy and Riven are walking back to their little home after a date. The moon is shining, its nighttime, and they are continuing to be the ship of the century]

Riven: Any plans for the rest of the evening, my angel~?

Darcy, snorting: We have the same plans, Riv, we—

[A little, smol form proceeds to waddle out of the darkness]

Hyena pup Iorda: *takes a big steppy*

Darcy: What is a baby familiar doing out here?

Riven: Do they not wander?

Darcy: Not when they're this young, no

Iorda: *sits at their feet*

Riven, cups his hands around his mouth: HAS ANYONE LOST A HYENA FAMILIAR? A POM-POM LOOKING THING??

Iorda: *gnaws at the edge of Darcy's skirt*

Darcy:

Darcy: *lifts her up*

Darcy: Where is your witch, honey?

Iorda: *is without a witch*

Riven, still screaming: —THAT LOOKS LIKE A CROSS BETWEEN A POMERANIAN, A CAT, AND SOME SORT OF BAKED GOOD!

Darcy: Riv, you're about to give me a headache

Riven: Well, we have to find her parents. Or her witch

Darcy: She's too young to be bonded to a witch already. Familiar moms are really protective—especially before their child shifts into their non-animal form—so I don't see why she would've let her daughter wander off

Riven: ... what's that on her neck?

[A thin, black, red, and violet piece of rope around Iorda's neck, the colors of The Sisters of Liliss. Yes the cult returns. So help me]

Darcy, frowning: I'm just gonna take that off real quick

Darcy: *takes it off*

Darcy: And burn it

Riven: Explain, please

Darcy: Cult. Illegal familiar trade. She's ours now

Riven:

Darcy: Oh come on, she's cute, right?

Hyena pup Iorda: *The Cutest Thing Possible*

Riven: I have no worthy arguments

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[Darcy. Riven, and the fluff ball that is Iorda reaches their house. Once they enter, Iorda waddles off]

Riven: How does one raise a familiar?

Darcy: Catering to their form until they feel ready to shift I suppose. Which means a lot of blankets so she can burrow, comforting scents, and...

Riven: Hyenas eat meat, I'm guessing?

Darcy: And bone, yeah. We don't have to give her that. At least while she's still this young. She'll fare well with meat for now

Riven:

Darcy: I'll call Stormy for help

[Ten minutes later, Stormy walks in]

Stormy: FRET NOT SISTER O F MINE! A RACOON HAPPENED TO RUN INTO MY CAR ON THE WAY HERE AND—

Stormy: *lifts up the dead racoon*

Stormy: I HAVE SUPPLIED GRADE-A ROADKILL

Darcy: WHY WOULD I GIVE THE ADOPTED FAMILIAR ROADKILL?

Riven: *too tired for this and goes to find where Iorda is*

Stormy: She eats meat, doesn't she?

Darcy: I asked for ADVICE! Not THIS!

Stormy: She's a hyena, right? She can eat bones?

Darcy: Yes, and—

Darcy: Stormy, it's dripping on the floor!

Riven: *chasing Iorda as she waddles fast to the blood*

Riven: NO! STAY! DON'T!

Iorda: *about to lick up the blood*

Darcy: *lifts Iorda up by her scruff*

Iorda: *shakes her feet and cries out distressed noises*

Stormy: Come on, she clearly desires bloodshed! Here I am, trying to help you, a mother, feed your CHILD! And all I get is anger and denial! Well, don't call me whenever you need a babysitter if this is how you're gonna act. I'll have you know I poured my heart and soul out carrying this dead fucking raccoon the entire way here

Stormy: A thank you would've been nice. Can you do that for me, Darcy? Can you say thank you??

Riven: For all we know, you accidentally zapped it while fucking up a spell

Darcy: Also, raccoons have RABIES! Do you WANT your niece to get RABIES???

Riven: ... I suppose we have a hyena as a daughter now

Darcy: Yes. I thought that was clear

Iorda: *kicking her feet, not enjoying air jail*

Iorda: HOOOOWWWLLLLL!

Darcy: Oh my god. I'll get you salmon tonight, just please shut up

Iorda: *happily shuts up at the prospect of fish*

Stormy: I didn't zap it while fucking up a spell! I hit it with my car!

Stormy: On accident, but like, it's the thought that counts. And my car has a dent in it now. So, like, I've sacrificed so much and you won't even, like, test it for rabies then feed it to your daughter

Stormy: Also, I'm staying for dinner if you're getting salmon. Put the lemon and butter on it and roast that bitch

Riven: Eh we have extra. Why not?

Stormy: YOU'RE THE MAN, RIVEN!

Darcy: *about to strangle smth*

Darcy: *puts Iorda down on the floor so she doesn't hurt the bb*

Darcy: I DON'T HAVE TIME TO TEST—

Iorda: *has already waddled off back to the blood*

Riven: ... we really need to get her a child leash if this keeps up

Darcy: Agreed

Darcy: Also, Stormy, it's your fault for being a horrible driver. Don't push your troubles onto our daughter

Iorda: *sits at the blood*

Iorda: *looks up at Stormy like "can I haz the blood?"

Darcy, glaring at Stormy:

Riven: Iorda, how about we don't—

Iorda: *just fucking lays down in the blood*

Stormy: Oh shit, we rollin' around in blood now?

Darcy: You will not join her

Stormy: You're ruining my aunt-niece activities. Icy would have let me roll around in blood

Iorda: *pawing at the blood*

Riven: At least she's not squeamish

Darcy: *about to scream*

Darcy: Fine. You're staying for the salmon. But you are going to bathe her after this literal blood bath. Also, we both know that Icy is too tired at this point to care if you show up bloody or not

Stormy: Don't be overprotective, Darcy. No one likes a helicopter mom

Stormy: *walks over and starts to fingerpaint with the blood*

Stormy: Yeah I'll bathe her. How's that sound, kiddo? Wanna go take a bath with auntie Stormy?

Stormy: *boops a little blood on Iorda's nose*

Riven: She likes water as far as we know—hyena and all—so be prepared to get a lot on you. Have fun

Darcy: Have a horrible time

Riven: *snorts*

Iorda: *latches onto Stormy's hand by her teeth*

Stormy:

Stormy: Darcyohmyfuckinggodpleasehelpmethishurts

Darcy, smirking: Consider it karma

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[Stormy has brought Iorda into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her]

Stormy: Okay kiddo, what—

Iorda: *runs to the door and paws at it*

Stormy: Riven said you like water. I don’t think he’d lie to me. Unless him and my sister are conspiring. Fuck. Traitors

Iorda: *wants mama*

Stormy: Hm… Sink bath or tub? With the tub at least you won’t be able to jump out since you’re… very very small

Stormy: *starts to run a shallow, warm bath*

Iorda: *still at the door waiting for mama*

Stormy: … Darcy is in for a long… Wait. How long until you shift into your human form? At least she gets to skip the newborn human baby stage

Stormy: *lifts up Iorda*

Stormy: Up you go

Iorda: *whining and licking the blood on her paws*

Stormy: Be free!

Stormy: *gently tosses her in the bath*

Iorda: WAAAAA!

Iorda: *falls under and gets water in her nose before she finally gets together and wades around*

Stormy: See? Tharma’s methods still work!

Darcy: STORMY WHAT WAS THAT NOISE?

Stormy: I’m bathing your daughter! LIKE YOU TOLD ME TO! I just threw her in and she waded fine!

Darcy: Fuck you mean you just THREW HER IN?

Riven: What did Stormy do?

Darcy: TOSS HER IN THE WATER!

Riven: Darc

Darcy:

Riven: Hyenas can swim

Darcy, frowning and mocks: ‘Hyenas can swim’ I don’t care. I’d rather treat her gently than risk something happening

Stormy: Oop

Darcy: Why OOP?

Stormy: She’s clean

Riven: And?

Stormy: But she’s drinking the bloody soap water

Darcy, sighing: Riven, please help Stormy so she doesn’t end up killing a two week old familiar

Riven: On it

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Riven: What else do we have to teach her before she, well, shifts and gains full human awareness for the first time?

Darcy: She knows not to bite, when to sleep... I'm not quite sure

Riven: Do we have to teach her how to hunt? Is that a thing that we have to do for a hyena familiar?

Darcy: How would we do that?

Riven:

[Later at Red Fountain where Riven teaches. New recruits are standing in a line]

Riven: Alright! Running drills!

Riven: *lifts up a 5-month old Iorda*

Riven: This is Iorda!

Recruits: *collective aws*

Riven: She's going to run after you while you go through drills, and she has been told to only nip any ankles and shoes she comes into contact with. But then again, I'm pretty sure that my wife taught her to bite the ankles of her enemies, so there's a fifty-fifty chance that she will indeed bite your ankles if you're too slow!

Recruits: *collective winces*

Iorda: *yip of playful bloodlust*

[Later...]

Recruit, running: FUCK FUCK FUCK IT'S AFTER ME!

Iorda: *she be running*

Riven: SHE has a name! And she's two meters away from you!

Recruit: YEAH BUT I CAN'T FOCUS WHEN I'M BEING CHASED!

Riven: THEN HOW WILL YOU FOCUS ON PROTECTING MAGIX AGAINST ENEMIES?

Recruit, sobbing: THIS IS THE END FOR ME!

Iorda: *smol and fluffy and with very tiny teeth*

Recruit: GREAT DRAGON SAVE ME!

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[Darcy walking to Griffin's office, Iorda in her arms]

Darcy, scratching Iorda's head: A lot is riding on this...

Iorda: *confused why mama is stressed*

Iorda: Does she need me to bite ankle?

Darcy: *knocks on the door*

Griffin: Come in!

Darcy, hiding Iorda in her cardigan: Hey, um, mom?

Griffin: Still not used to calling me that, are you?

Darcy:

Darcy: Mother sounds better

Griffin: Agreed, now...

Iorda: *a wiggly lump*

Griffin: ... is your clothing possesed?

Darcy, sighs and sits down: I... um... I may have some sort of daughter

Griffin:

Griffin: Last time I checked, your entire reproductive system was unusable, so how—

Darcy: *places Iorda on the desk*

Griffin: Darcy, that is a hyena

Darcy: She's a familiar! Come on, just look at her cute human eyes!

Griffin: How did you? Where? Why? More on the why

Darcy: Eh, Riv and I picked her up off the street after she presumably escaped a Sisters of Liliss hideout, and so, she is now ours and has been for around six months

Iorda: *sitting down politely like Darcy taught her*

Griffin: Has she shifted yet?

Darcy: No. That's why I came to you... There's... not much information I can find about how to deal with familiars past shifting age and how to actually teach them to

Griffin, shrugging: She'll shift when she does

Darcy, sighing: I just worry that she's... not faring well

Iorda: *tail be wagging and very happy*

Griffin: She will learn that she can shift eventually. I'd bet that she's actually picked up on that she can with you talking about it

Darcy: She's six months old?

Griffins: Familiars are intelligent creatures

Darcy, looks at Iorda: Can you shift, please?

Iorda: *confused*

Iorda: *stands up and sits down again*

Darcy: Wha—no, shift. Not sit

Griffin, amused: Heh

Iorda: *stands up and sits down again*

Darcy:

Iorda: What does this woman want from me?

Darcy: Intelligent, huh?

Griffin: I'm sure that she—

Ediltrude: *walks past in the hallway*

Iorda: *about to jump and chase*

Darcy: *grabs her*

Darcy: No, no. No chase time

Griffin: Darcy, why does the familiar want to chase Ediltrude?

Darcy, wincing:

Griffin: Darcy Jenrae

Darcy: What? She insulted Riven last week...

Griffin: So your familiar—excuse me, daughter—doesn't know how to shift, but you taught her to chase the people that mildly annoy you?

Iorda: *yipping with bloodlust*

Darcy: Maybe~

Griffin:

Griffin: I am proud to call her my granddaughter

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[Twelve years later. Darcy and Riven are reading on the couch, while a full grown hyena is walking around the kitchen]

Iorda: *staring up at the counter, eyeing the raw cookie dough*

Iorda: *too smol to reach and too heavy to jump*

Iorda, rolling her eyes: *proceeds to shift into human form for the first time, sneaking a very small bit of the cookie dough*

Darcy: Hey, Iorda—

Darcy: *glances to the kitchen and is confused*

Darcy: ...

Iorda: ...

Darcy: Riven, there's a stranger in our house

Riven, looking up: Wait, there door is LOCKED! WHO ARE YOU?

Iorda: I'm your DAUGHTER!

Darcy:

Darcy: After ALL these years you finally shifted to get COOKIE DOUGH OF ALL THINGS?!

Iorda: Yep!

Darcy, sighing: She's your child, Riven...

Riven: What about all those times we placed perfectly good meat high up to tempt you to shift? Why now? What changed?

Iorda, shrugging: Darcy would give me the meat anyways if I looked cute enough, so I saw no reason to shift if she was just gonna cave sooner or later

Iorda: MEANWHILE... Cookie dough?

Iorda: Salmonella incarnate and a forbidden fruit

Iorda: *reaching for a tiny bit more*

Darcy: Iorda

Iorda:

Iorda: Yes mom?

Darcy: No

Iorda:

Darcy: Drop it

Iorda:

Darcy: Leave. It. Now

Iorda: Riven?

Riven: Listen to your mother

Iorda, sighing: Yes mom, I'm sorry

Darcy: Good. Now, time to actually take you shopping now that you actually shifted for the first time. Finally. Finally

Riven: Iorda, you've unleashed the beast. Run

Darcy: Oh shut up