It is said that when you feel like you are trudging through mud (metaphorically speaking) and getting nowhere it means you are about to “level up” or shed your old skin. When you’re in it it feels like you won’t survive, or the ugliest parts of you will make an appearance, only to be riddled with guilt afterward.
It has only been 12 days into the new year, and I feel like I’ve survived and endured an entire years worth of lessons. Patience, sanity and self-worth has all been tested to what feels like the extremes.
But, each day is a new beginning. A fresh start, a do-over, to recommit, to draw from lessons learned, to grow.
Recently I have given myself permission to cut out, delete, remove anything from my life in any capacity that does not bring me joy, or positive thoughts or feelings without guilt. It’s beginning to turn from being envious (for no apparent reason other than comparing and allowing myself to feel unworthy), to empowered. Acknowledging that something is causing me to stress or self-sabotage and removing it has made me feel in control and proud.
Society has riddled us from the time we are young that we (especially as women) must act, be seen, and look a certain way. And if we deviate we are meant to feel guilty, or unworthy because we do not “measure up” to unattainable (natural) expectations.
I’ve created life, I nourish that life and I am proud. I am not going to subject myself to a lifestyle that creates a negative relationship with food and activity. I’m going to do it and eat it because it feels good and nourishes my body and soul, not because I want to lose 30lbs…
I want to be the example I didn’t necessarily have.