#fp asks

[five-pebbles-official]

opinion on Elva from the hit indie short film Tales of Zale Flickering Lights :7?

FP: I find her character... amusing per se. She seems dedicated to keeping her friends safe, but didn't seem too concerned about her sibling. I'd say that's rather idiotic...

FP: However, it is quite hypocritical to say that considering the fact I ignored the well being of my sibling for quite some time...

FP: But, putting aside my own misgivings, I find her quite enjoyable as a character.

[speremint]

FP B&R anon. The coment of today is just. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HOW DARE YOU TAKE THAT FOR ME. That has been the coment for today. Thank you again for all your work Mei

ur so welcome

[toadallybpd]

I want to stop talking to my fp solely because I feel like I’m always bothering them and I just feel like their life would be so much easier without me. I sometimes think that they’d be kinda sad but then I just remember that I’m not as important in his life than he is in mine. He constantly forgets about about me it’s not that he doesn’t care about me, it’s just that, he has more important things to focus on other than me, the inconvenience.

If it is causing you this much distress then I think it would be best to at least take a step back and take a break. Focus on being your own person and developing your own interests (I’m really struggling with that myself honestly but that’s because I feel the same way with my fp sometimes). You could look through my ref tag for self help/dbt if you haven’t. That’s a good start if you don’t have access to mental health services.

[toadallybpd]

hi so like my ex is my fp and it’s quite upsetting for my current girlfriend? do you have any tips on getting over a fp? any help would be much appreciated ☁️

So I remember doing a couple asks about the same thing but this is the only one I could find.

In addition to that post, you should block all of your ex’s social media accounts, delete all pictures you have together, avoid talking about him/her, if someone brings him/her up, change the subject, and keep yourself distracted. Remind yourself that there is a reason you are with your current girlfriend and not them anymore.

[toadallybpd]

Hi there I’m new to my bpd diagnosis so I’m trying to figure out this fp thing. Can my fp be a group of people? Or can it be a person I don’t like but really want the approval of? I seek constant validation so it’s hard to tell... thanks

Sorry for the late reply. It’s been hard for me to answer asks lately idk why :/

I think a fp could be a group of people. It certainly can be multiple people so it makes sense. I don’t think your fp could really be someone you don’t like. You may dislike them sometimes but, with a fp, most of the time the bpd person is obsessed with the fp and idealizes them.

You can read more about fps in a good post I made here

[toadallybpd]

I’m not sure if you’re going to answer this, but i have bpd too and i was wondering whether you can relate to/share tips on overthinking, it’s like I see bits and pieces of “evidence” and make up scenarios and ALWAYS fear the worst, i know I’m not being rational but i still convince myself of things that aren’t true and i jump to conclusions?? Any tips?! ty xx

Oh god I overthink e v e r y t h i n g

I think this is a mixture of my BPD, generalized anxiety disorder, and PTSD. They kind of feed off of each other which is always just wonderful.

I overthink about whether or not my fp is mad at me. I overthink about people being annoyed with me because I always feel extremely annoying and I hate myself. I overthink about interacting with people even cashiers at stores. I overthink about how people perceive me. I overthink about speaking to the point where I’m sometimes paralyzed and cannot speak more than a couple words if that. I overthink about how I didn’t tip a pizza guy 3 years ago (not even lying lmao kill me pls).

The main thing that I’ve found to help me is when I find myself drawing conclusions, I think “Am I drawing this conclusion based off my assumptions of this person or by concrete things this person said?” If it’s by assumptions, I try to dismiss it. It can get a little more tricky if someone straight up tells you “you’re irritating” or something like that while they’re mad at you.

Even if rationally I know that I’m jumping to conclusions, I can often still feel my mood drop so it’s okay to just let yourself have a good cry. Bottling up your emotions is never a good idea. All that’s going to do is cause you to explode/break down over something small later on or be passive aggressive.

If you have a fp and they unintentionally cause most of the jumping to conclusions, you should tell them to reassure you. When my boyfriend (fp) is mad at me, I typically cry, so he tells me, “I might be mad at you right now, but I still love you and care about you so much”. It helps so much.

[schizopal]

I hope this isn't weird but my fp is my parent, we get along super well and we'll be together for quite some time at least

if you have bpd you should anonymously tell me about your fp

that’s not weird at all, anon! i’m honestly super happy for you that your fp is someone you get along with well and also that you’re so close to a parent!

[schizopal]

My fp was really mentally ill and I was there for them every single day because they had been abandoned and I wanted to prove I was being there for them, so I wrote even though they didn't want me as a friend, they isolated themselves. Then they got better, and was real good, and I got even worse, I had different diagnoses before too but I didn't want to put any pressure on them. But they weren't there for me, when I was being hospitalised, and now they're sad again, I don't know I feel so bad

 I’m that anon with fp with mental illness, I just feel so bad because I want to be there for them but I think they don’t actually like me, I’m just a bother to them and a waste of space I feel like they wouldn’t care if I was no more like, I just want them to be happy and yet it’s so exhausting to always be there for them when they obviously don’t care about me or want me there at all and I feel so bad for writing that because they’re my fp and I love them

if you have bpd you should anonymously tell me about your fp

first of all, i just want to say that i hope you’re doing okay right now, and i’m so sorry you’re having to experience all of this. secondly, i know it’s difficult to think about because this person is your fp, but i really think you should take a step back from the situation and focus on your own mental and physical health for now. it’s not fair to you to keep ignoring your own health and basically setting yourself on fire to keep this other person warm and feeling loved when it seems like they don’t or can’t even appreciate or acknowledge that. it’s not your job to always, always be there for someone and to give time, energy, love, kindness until there’s nothing left of yourself to give them. and for them to just keep taking and taking from you.i don’t know you personally anon, but i promise that you’re not a waste of space and you deserved to be treated well.. you deserve to have someone be there for you when you need someone there, and to be cared for just like you care(d) for your fp. idk maybe i’m getting too emotional about this bc it reminds me so, so much of what i went through & am still going through with my on-and-off fp but like.listen, if you ever need to talk to anyone or need anyone to just be there for you, you can come to me and talk about stuff. i promise to listen and always be here. i hope things get better, anon.