#bpd asks

[bpd-polls]

what songs do pwBPD relate to or see themselves in?

^

[misscammiedawn]

Number 11!

Xo

Dove :)

I assume because I reblogged the Bunny Ask meme from you mean that one. I'll be cheeky and add the BPD one under a readmore because I like ask memes <3

11. What is your favourite colour of underwear? Green, unambiguously. I have a number of green sets because it matches my hair and just makes me feel cute. My absolute faces are a pair of striped ones with a green floral pattern on the waistband.

Here, I'm feeling brave! Have a picture:

As for the other Ask Meme

BPD Asks

11. When did you first start having symptoms?

Super hard to say because there's a point where the hyper vigilance wasn't maladaptive but was required to survive. Though there's probably more symptoms and inciting incidents in the blur that is my childhood, I know as an adult I was kicked out at the age of 17, brought back in after I started working and could be financially exploited and then kicked out again 3 months later.

I often remember the night I managed to get in to the abandoned apartment that was once my family home. No wallpaper, no carpet, no heating, no electricity... and how I slept on the hardwood floor and used my coat as a pillow as I gripped my Nokia 220 begging the charge to last for the night so I could wake up for my job.

It was a temp job on Government contract for Royal Mail-- essentially unlimited overtime available. I worked 10-12 hour days 6-7 days a week and Made It Work. I took over the apartment. I furnished it. Decorated it. Made it Home.

Back then always being on, being hyper-sensitive, being emotionally thin skinned, afraid of relying on others, angry and --yes-- suicidal. It was a fairly appropriate response to my situation.

But as the years drifted off the calendar and I escaped the UK, I found my people... those little triggers and switches never really reset. The voice inside that said "you'll die unless..." and it continued to push me down the wrong paths. I compromised, I hung too tightly, I lost every part of myself until I was nothing but a mirror reflection of the people I needed to love me.

I just didn't stop to notice that the danger had passed. That I was no longer powerless. The angry and abandoned teenager never got to be free, because to her she was still fighting for survival with every single encounter.

[blackpaladindown]

ARE YOU GUYS READY TO CRY?!

I’m sure as shit not

[toadallybpd]

hi! does fp stand for like favorite person or something?

Yeah it’s a bpd specific term. It’s the person that the person with bpd’s world revolves around. It sounds cute but it’s actually most of the time a very unhealthy attachment. It’s the person (or people, sometimes there can be more than one) the bpd person is constantly afraid will leave and they are often the person who gets most of the splitting from the bpd person. Even the smallest things this person does can completely make or break the bpd person’s mood. People with bpd will also often mirror them or copy their opinions, interests, clothing, personality, etc.

[toadallybpd]

Hello! I'm almost 18 and was just recently (tentatively) diagnosed with BPD by a mental health professional. She says it's not set in stone, because we caught it early and I can begin DBT. I was so happy at first because everything made sense and I didn't feel like this mystery was hanging over my head anymore... and then i googled BPD and everything that came up was about how we're abusive monsters with no empathy. I'm terrified that I'm destined to hurt others. Any advice on coping w/ stigma?

This honestly breaks my heart. This is a very common experience for people just recently diagnosed with bpd and I went through it as well. This is going to be long and I apologize in advance lmfao

Those things that you are reading are not true. The best way to cope with this stigma is to keep in mind that people who write those articles have only met one or two toxic people with bpd or have an ex with bpd and they believe that every person with bpd is the same way. It’s an inaccurate generalization. It’s like having a bad experience with two girls named Hannah and then writing a whole article on how every girl named Hannah is horrible and should be avoided just bc you’re bitter ??? They are basing their articles on their own opinions and are not based on any factual evidence other than personal anecdotes. Not everyone with bpd is manipulative, abusive, attention seeking, violent, etc. In fact, MOST people with bpd do not fit this description.

Obviously there are some people who have bpd that do fit the stereotype, but there are people without bpd and without any mental illness at all that can fit this description as well.

Having any mental illness does not make you inherently abusive. The people who write these stigmatizing articles don’t know what they are talking about. Nowhere in the DSM criteria does it include being manipulative, abusive, attention seeking, violent, etc. You are not destined to hurt anyone.

I’ve met so many people with bpd in real life and on the internet and every single one of them are different. There were a couple who were toxic, but most are some of the sweetest, most supportive people I’ve ever met. They are often (obviously not always bc everyone is different) the type of friends that check up on you and ask you how you are feeling and are always there to listen to you.

Even the ways people with bpd express their symptoms are often different. For example, when feeling abandoned, one person with bpd might cut off all contact with everyone and isolate themselves, another might ask for reassurance, another might get angry, another might have a mental breakdown but not let the person know, etc. Everyone with bpd experiences and expresses bpd differently and has their own personality traits, interests, morals, goals, hobbies, etc.

If you have any questions, want someone to talk to, etc feel free to reach out to me through asks or messages (: I also have a ref tag and a dbt tag for helpful resources

[toadallybpd]

So Ive been really feeling like I need to go back to therapy. And like need help dealing with my emotions and attachment to people. But I am moving to a different state in a month and so starting a new therapist right now does not make sense, plus covid and everything. Any tips on what to do bc I really dont wanna mess things up with someone because im not keeping my emotions in check and being too much

A lot of therapists right now are able to do zoom meetings with you. That’s what my therapist does. Even if you only see someone for a month I think it still could be beneficial for you. I’d find a therapist and call and ask them if it’s ok to just see them over video call for a month because you’re moving but you’re struggling. The worst they can say is no

[toadallybpd]

as a person with bpd is it normal to feel like you’re constantly having conversations with yourself in your head? like i just feel like it’s so loud in my head all the time

Idk if that’s a bpd specific thing but I do that a lot. I think it’s a normal thing at least for people with bpd idk about others but I’m sure it’s a thing for people with other mental illnesses as well. Also sometimes to cope I pretend I’m a celebrity telling revealing things about my childhood and the struggles of my life to an interviewer. It’s like free imaginary therapy love it.

[toadallybpd]

Bpd anger anon here. Do you have any tips on how to deal with it? Because i usually just feel like punching a wall or angry cry until I fall asleep and then depression nap the day away.

It’s super important to recognize your triggers so you can avoid them and know when you are going to get upset. This is a good detailed post on how to do this: (x)

Another thing you should do (they actually taught me this while I was hospitalized) is recognize your warning signs. A lot of times recognizing triggers can be really hard and anger can seem to pop up out of nowhere. So, make a list of signs that you are getting angry. What is your thought process like? Do you have any physical signs (ex: clenched jaw/fists)? Do you start to catch an attitude? Do you begin to slam doors/kick things/throw things? Start recognizing these signs because when you first start to get angry is the easiest time to calm down. When you’re full on pissed it’s really difficult to get yourself to calm down.

When I can tell I’m getting angry, the thing I like to do the most is walk away. I tend to stay in a room where there’s no other people like my room or the bathroom. Sometimes I’ll also take a walk.

I also like to listen to music, watch YouTube videos, or watch Netflix.

What are some things you love to do that help you calm down? Do you like to sing? Dance? Draw? Paint? Write?

Even if you don’t like writing, you can also write down what’s going on, your thoughts, or a letter to a person who is pissing you off. When you’re done, rip up the paper into small tiny pieces.

There’s also grounding techniques that are mainly used for anxiety and dissociation but can also help anger. Here’s a list of some grounding techniques: (x)

I hope this helps (: